FicWad

Patrick’s POV

To my surprise, Pete and I are still in the theater when the credits start to roll. With as much popcorn as he was throwing I was afraid he’d get us kicked out. We wait for almost everyone else to file out, before standing up ourselves and walking down the stairs and into the lobby. As we’re walking towards the door, Pete squeals and runs over to a claw machine. I follow him, raising my eyebrow.

“‘Trick! Look, there’s a panda!” he grabs a dollar bill from his pocket and slides it into the machine.

I stand back and watch as he completely misses the panda and pouts, before taking his second turn. This time he picks up the cow beside the panda, and it drops right on top of it. I pull a dollar out of my pocket and gently nudge him, to make him scoot over so I can see clearly. I put the dollar in the machine and get the claw over the cow. Before dropping the claw over it, I look through the side of the machine to make sure. Once I’m positive it’ll grab the cow, I hit the button. It picks the cow up by it’s head, and I steer it over, before letting it drop. The machine makes an annoying sound as Pete grabs the bear and grins.

“You’re better at this than me.”

I shrug and take my second turn, getting the panda with ease, now that the cow is out of the way.

He grins and hugs the panda close to him, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I say shyly.

“You can have this one.” he holds up the cow.

I shake my head, “No thanks...”

“Is Pattycakes too mature for a stuffed animal?” Pete teases.

I shake my head, “Not really...just don’t like cows.”

“Oh! There’s this vegan guy in one of my classes, we should give it to him!” Pete grins.

“That’s mean.” I snort.

“No it isn’t! It’s not like I’m giving him a stuffed hamburger!”

I nod, “His name is Andy, by the way.”

Pete grabs my hand and pulls me outside.

“We don’t have a ride home, do we?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Of course we do, our feet.” he grins, “I don’t live too far, plus it’ll give us sometime to actually get to know each other, as was the purpose of the date.”

“Oh? I thought the purpose was Make Patrick Blush.”

He kisses my cheek and grins widely when I blush, “Well, that too.”

He leads us back to his house, swinging out hands as we walk, “Did you have fun, with me?” he asks softly.

I nod, “Despite fearing we’d get kicked out because you were throwing popcorn at people.... Yes, I did.”

He smiles, “I was a little...worried you wouldn’t.”

“Why were you worried?” I frown.

“Well, I guess I just had this little bit of fear that....after getting Josh out of the way I’d lose my appeal.”

“Well, it’s an irrational fear. Though getting him off my back is great, I don’t think I’d be living with you and your parents if that were it. I mean, it was how we ended up where we are now...” I hold up our entangled fingers, “But it isn’t why.”

Pete smiles and leans into me as we walk, “I have a question.”

“Shoot.” I shyly let go of his hand and slide my arm around his waist.

“I just...can’t imagine you and Josh being friends. He’s so...him.”

“He was a lot different in middle school.” I shrug.

“How so?” he tilts his head.

“Well, he was nice. He was just as obsessed with Harry Potter as me. We were both kind of nerds, but it wasn’t like high school, you know? There was teasing sometimes, but it was never as bad as now. He knew I was gay before anyone, and then he didn’t feel the need to act disgusted. He swore he’d never tell anyone, and up until high school started I believed him... after we stopped being friends I was terrified every single day that he’d out me. I mean, yeah he swore he’d never tell, but that was when we spent the night at each other’s house and pretended sticks were magic wands...honestly, it was awful being outed but...it was kind of a relief.” I blush lightly, “Sorry I went way off subject and said too much...”

He shakes his head and smiles, “That’s the point, getting to know about each other, even before we knew each other.”


Pete's POV

Patrick nods shyly and I wrap an arm around his waist. We continue to walk down the street, in silence for a while. After about a block, Patrick clears his throat and looks to me.

"Uh... Pete..."

"Hmm?"

"Well I kn-know how you came out, but how did that affect your life at school? D-Did people treat you like shit?"

I shake my head, biting my lip at his worried expression. "No, not really. At first, people treated me differently. Badly. Asked all kinds of stupid questions. But after a while people forgot and started treating me better."

"B-But how? What'd you do to gain their respect?" Patrick raises an eyebrow. I can't tell him about being a temporary bully. That would ruin him. But at the same time, I can't lie to my boyfriend.

"Pete? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I snap out of it and look at him, only to realize my foot is stuck in a particularly icy puddle. I curse and step out of the water, allowing myself to be pulled by Patrick back onto the sidewalk. "I was just uh... boyfriend. You're... well, do you uh wanna be my boyfriend? I never really asked. The cab driver though, I do know that he already thought we were boyfriends. I figure it's rude not to ask. After all, we've been kissing a lot and-"

"You're rambling, do you realize that? Pete, of course we're boyfriends. I assumed we were already both aware of that. Why are you being so weird, and why are you avoiding my question? What did you do? Because I-I'm starting to think... well I'm starting to think it was something bad. W-Was it, Pete?"

I shrug and start to walk faster. Patrick keeps up easily, partially because I'm limping my soaked leg. He steps in front of me and grabs my shoulders. I try to avoid his eyes, but he lifts my chin to meet his. I sigh and nod.

"Okay, I did. But it wasn't... it wasn't often. Not really. And normally I kept to myself. No one bothered me and I didn't bother them. But sometimes one of the jocks would come up to me and throw an insult or two my way and some girls would snicker and I'd panic and ask the jocks what they wanted me to do. Sometimes it would be as simple as doing their homework. Other times... well I've given a swirly or two. And fuck, I just, I really regret it, okay? I regret all of it and I wish I had never gone to that stupid school or hurt anyone and that's why I was so afraid of talking to you at first. I'm a bully magnet. In both ways. People like beating me and they like getting me to beat others. And it makes me a coward. I was so afraid of hurting you. I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to keep you away from the pain that I always inflict. And that didn't work. Because even though I never hurt you directly, it was because of me that you got bullied worse. And-"

I cut off as I feel Patrick's lips on mine. I try to pull away but he doesn't let me. I give up and let myself be pulled into the kiss. After we break apart, he touches my cheek.

"P-Pete, I don't blame you. And I h-hate seeing you blame yourself. What are you worried about? I'm here and I'm n-not gonna leave you. It wasn't good, what you did, but I-I'm not mad or anything."

I look into his eyes before pecking his lips and continuing down the street. The moon has fully risen now, and it lights our path. Patrick looks nice in the moonlight. Slightly angelic. Whereas I look sinister. I pull my hood over my head and sigh. He keeps up and takes my hand.

"I'm just worried, Patrick. What am I gonna do?"

"Wh-What do you mean? Just don't bully anyone. You'll be fine. And Josh-"

"What about Josh? Huh? Because now everyone's gonna think I'm just as big an asshole as he is. Did you think about that? I called you a fag. And that boy I said we called a fag and threw into a closet? That was true, 'Trick. That actually happened. He had to change schools and I was lucky to not get sued. I did that. And I can't even begin to make up for it because I'll never see that guy again. What the fuck can I do?"


Patrick’s POV

I bite my lip. I was positive that was part of getting Josh to trust him. How could you go through taunting for being gay, and do that to someone else? I don’t understand it, and that is why I have to accept it. Who’s to say I wouldn’t respond the same way, given the opportunity. So I put my hands on his shoulders and squeeze gently.

“Pete... as far as the idiots at school, just try to ignore them. I’ll stick by your side. As for the kid you put into a closet... you wanna know how you can make it up to them?”

“How? I’m not even in the same state as them!” he snaps.

I rest my hand on his cheek, “Don’t let anyone push you into doing something like that again. Instead of doing what other people want you to do, put your good out into the world. And if you ever come across them again, give them a sincere apology. Chances are though, you won’t. So you just have to hope their life has improved since they moved.”

Pete bites his lip, “If I apologized, given the chance, I don’t think they’d forgive me... I don’t deserve to be forgiven.”

I shake my head, “Yes you do Pete. You realize that it was wrong to do, and you have trouble forgiving yourself because of how much it bothers you. If it didn’t bother you at all, then you wouldn’t deserve it.”

Pete sighs, “But for now...everyone is going to think I’m on Josh’s side. What if they convince you I’m-”

“Pete, please stop.” I frown and hug him tight, “They’ll probably be assholes, but I know who’s side you’ve been on the whole time. I’m not going to believe any different. You might go through hell for a couple weeks...but I’ll be right there with you, and I won’t leave.”

He hugs back, becoming calmer, “So no privacy while I’m getting dressed? Showering?” he wiggles his eyebrows.

I blush and kiss his cheek, “No sex on the first date, sorry.”

He chuckles and laces our fingers, the moonlight illuminating his face, “See something you like?” he grins, noticing my stare.

“A few things.” I mumble and keep walking with him the rest of the way home.

We walk up the driveway and instead of walking through the front door, like a normal person, he walks around the house to his bedroom window, and pushing it open.

He grins at me, before pushing a chair towards the window and crawling inside.

I blush and carefully stand on the chair before tumbling onto his bed.

He chuckles, “Fun, right?”

“I-I guess...the door makes more sense though.”

He shakes his head, “We dodged a bullet, Mom and dad would ask how it was and make your pretty little face bright red.”

I blush and look down, “Are you done playing Make Patrick Blush yet?”

He grins and shakes his head, “Never.”


Pete's POV

Patrick blushes, and I throw my fist in the air triumphantly. He laughs and shakes his head and I pull him down onto the pillows with me. We lie there laughing for a moment before looking into each others eyes happily. Patrick's eyes are a beautiful hazel color. Green and blue and hints of brown mixing together to form the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. He smiles slowly and I can't look away. The way he's smiling at me with true happiness, no signs of stress or worry. Even if just for a moment, a moment I wish I could freeze in time. His hands find their way to mine and we intertwine our fingers. My eyes are heavy, but I don't dare close them. I'd lose this moment if I do. We continue to gaze at each other before I lean forward and kiss him softly. He kisses back instantly, curling into me. I move a hand behind his head and run my fingers through his hair. We pull apart after a few minutes and I rest my head on his chest. It's not long before I fall asleep.

The next two days go by quickly, and there's rarely a time when we're apart. My mom woke us up the morning after our date with breakfast in bed and a million questions. How'd we get there, what movie we saw, what we did after, what time we got in, did we ruin her flowers climbing in through the window; things like that. We played a lot of video games and rented movies, despite Patrick's frequent reminders that we should probably study. I shrug it off every time, telling him we can study in class. He replies that I'll just fall asleep on my desk instead. I nod and return to hanging upside down off the couch.

On the morning we return to school, Patrick practically has to drag me out of bed. We'd been up late talking and hadn't passed out till 3am. I groan and allow him to pull the covers off of me. It isn't until the pillow hits my face that I finally get up.

"You're dead!" I jump out of bed and tackle him, careful not to make him hit his head on the floor. He laughs and leans up to kiss me before I roll off and stand up. I shake my head and head for the bathroom.

While we're on the way to school, Patrick reaches over and takes my hand.

"Pete?"

"Yes, 'Trick?"

"I-I think we can do this. It's just school."

"Yeah. We just need to keep telling ourselves and each other that we'll be fine." I smile and lift his hand to mine to kiss it. And with that, we pull into the school parking lot.


Patrick's POV

Math is mostly uneventful. Mr. Smith does his usual routine. Taking up the homework, somewhat gleefully informing Pete and I that since we were suspended, the homework will be counted as zeros. Then he explains the homework and goes to his desk. I scribble it down in my homework planner and start to stand, before realizing that I don’t have to keep up with it anymore.

“Homework planner, Patrick.” he drones.

“I-I actually don’t need it now.”

“Oh?” he glares at me from his desk, “And why’s that?”

“I-I don’t, I don’t live with my m-mom now so, so I don’t have to-”

“Well I disagree. You must live with some adult, correct?”

“Yes sir, but-”

He cuts me off, “Then I’ll need you to bring the homework planner up here. I’d hate for your laziness to become a burden on them as well as your mother.”

I look down.

“Now, bring the planner, and there better be a signature on it tomorrow or you’ll find yourself in detention.”

“Y-Yes sir.”

Pete starts to open his mouth, but I shake my head at him and take it up to Mr. Smith, who’s scribbling on another piece of paper. When he finishes and signs that piece of paper, he signs the homework planner and hands them both to me.

“I’ll need them to read the note as well.” he says before sending me back to my desk.

I half expect the entire classroom to be laughing, but instead they’re glaring at Mr. Smith. I find it strangely comforting as I sit back in my desk and wait for the bell.

In our second class, during the free time I debate on reading the note to Pete’s parents. I’m afraid to, honestly. I’m also afraid to give it to them, but I’m sure he’ll have a way of knowing if I did. I don’t want them to think I’m lazy, or that I’m a burden. I like that they care about me enough to let me live with them, what if his note changes that? As I worry over the note, Pete pulls the cow out of his backpack and tosses it over to Andy, who grins. I like Andy. He’s never exactly been a friend of mine, but he’s also never been a friend of Josh’s. He’s helped me hide from him a few times. Once he heard Josh was looking for me, so he shoved me into his locker, told me to keep fucking quiet, and locked it until Josh passed by. I bite my lip and unfold the note, my heart sinking immediately.

To whom it may concern,

I understand that now Patrick Stumph is in your care. While he may have charmed his way in, I feel the need to tell you that he may prove to be disappointing. His mother has told me that he has a tendency not to obey her wishes. That, however, is not the point of this note. Patrick’s mother helped him keep up with a homework planner. After giving the assignment, he would write it down, and have me sign it. His mother would check his homework, and sign it after she felt it was good enough. I am going to have Patrick keep up with the homework planner, and would ask that you check over his homework. Math is one of his weaknesses, and after being suspended three days, he really can’t afford to mess up too much. Please reply on the bottom of this piece of paper, so I know that Patrick has shown you.

-Smith

“Patrick?” Pete rests his hand on my shoulder, “Patrick the bell rang...”

I fold the note back up shakily and nod, standing up and shoving the note into my pocket.

In my class before lunch, I am taken out of my panic filled trance by a tap on the shoulder. I look at the girl in the desk behind me.

“What?”

“I was just wondering why you’re so chummy with Wentz. You saw what he said in the video. You saw what he did-”

“What he did” I cut her off, “Was save my ass from being Josh’s punching bag when no one else here gave a shit.”

“He didn’t save you he was on Josh’s side!” she insist.

“No, he and I planned to make Josh think he was on his side so we’d have a recording of Josh kissing a boy as leverage to make Josh back the fuck off. When talking to him didn’t work and got me and Pete beat up again, I broadcast it over the school. Pete isn’t on Josh’s side. And Pete is the first person to be a friend to me.” I turn in my seat and finish my classwork.

The rest of the day goes by uneventful, aside from Andy joining Pete and I at lunch. When we get back to Pete’s house, my good mood is shattered when I remember the note. I bite my lip and walk into the kitchen where his mom is making dinner.

“M-Mrs. Wentz?”

“Yes dear?” She turns to me.

I shakily hand her the note, “M-My math teacher wanted me to gi-give you this.”

She nods and reads over the note.


Pete's POV

My mom reads the note a second time, squinting at it. Patrick shuffles his feet, looking nervous. I can't bear to see him look so afraid so I tap mom's shoulder.

"Mom? Say something." I mutter. She looks up at me, then to Patrick. She frowns and sets the paper aside.

"Pete, do you have this teacher too?" she inquires. I nod. She shakes her head. "And how are you doing in that class?"

"Okay I guess. And so is Patrick."

"Patrick, can I see your latest assignments? Yours too, Pete. The graded ones."

Patrick and I pull out random scraps of homework from our bags and hand them to my mom. She sits down and looks them all over carefully. I look to Patrick and we both sit down as well. This might take a while. After about ten minutes, she pushes all the papers aside and places her hands on the table. Patrick audibly gulps.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You boys both have decent grades. Pete, you could do with a bit more studying. And handwriting practice. But that's beside the point. Hold on, I need to call this teacher. It's early enough, I bet he's still at school."

Patrick shoots me a panicked look and tugs on my arm, mouthing "I'm so dead" frantically. I take his hand and lace our fingers. Mom gets up to use the phone and I lean back in my seat to eavesdrop, shushing Patrick gently. Mom flips through the phone book and dials. A minute later, I can hear the tinny voice of Mr. Smith pick up.

"Hello, Mr. Smith, is it? Yes. This is Peter Wentz's mother. I've currently got one of your other students under my care. Patrick Stumph." She pauses, listening. "Yes, that student. Yes, I did receive his homework planner. Now you list-" She stops, obviously interrupted. "Excuse me, Mr. Smith. I was talking. I want you to hear this, because this is important. I reviewed Patrick's homework as suggested, and the answers, and I can assure you he is doing just fine and probably better than most of the students in your classes. This is a public school, after all. Now I'm not insulting your teaching skills, but I am questioning your judgement. You thought it was a good idea to single out a student based on what exactly? I refuse to sign any homework planner unless you require it of all your students. Which I'm sure you're quick to start considering, but consider this: that would take quite a lot of your valuable time, to check the planners of every single one of your students. And probably a school requirement. Which I doubt they would grant you. So if I hear you've singled out or humiliated either Peter or Patrick, you will be hearing from my lawyers. How does that sound to you, Mr. Smith?"

My jaw drops. I look at Patrick, whose eyes are wide. My mom sets the phone down after a moment and glances over at us.

"He hung up on me," she informs us.

"Wh-What?!" Patrick begins to panic again. "That means he's n-not gonna l-listen, I'm f-fucked!"

"No honey, he made sure to murmur a cowardly little 'there will be no need for lawyers, I'll fix this' before hanging up. I know when I've won. He won't be bothering you."

"A-Are you sure? I'm w-worried, Mrs. Wentz..." Patrick bites his lip. Mom sits down next to him and places a hand on his shoulder.

"I did mean it about the lawyers. And I know cowards. He's done bullying you. I can't believe that. The nerve of people. Classmates bullying you is one thing, but teachers?" She snorts angrily. "Cowards. I can't stand them. I'm glad that my son got his fight from me. He knows how to protect those he loves and do the right thing. I didn't raise a coward."

I cringe and get up from the table, running up the stairs. I lock my bedroom door behind me and go to sit on my bed, pulling my hoodie over my face. If only she knew the kinds of things I did in my old school. Who I hurt. And I know Patrick wouldn't agree. He'd try to convince me I'm the best person in the entire world, who doesn't deserve a single tear. But he's wrong, and the tears come anyway. I hear footsteps and curl into a ball, the tears flowing freely over my cheeks. Coward. That's all I am, all I will ever be. I couldn't even stop Patrick from being bullied. Instead, I stood back and told myself to forget him. And now that we're both out and together, we're both at more risk. It's my fault. Of course it's my fault. Patrick knocks on the door, calling my name. After a few minutes, he gives up and I can hear him going downstairs. I wipe my eyes and groan. How can I be crying right now? When Patrick needs someone to reassure him that he'll be okay in math class. I hate high school. I fucking hate it and I hate everyone in it. I make a mental note to ask my mother if Patrick and I could just drop out.

"Pete? Your mom says you need to eat. A-And if you can convince me to, th-then maybe I can convince you as well. S-So... please? We can cuddle afterwards."

I don't know if it's my stomach growling or the promise of cuddling that makes me dry my face and stand up, but before I know it, Patrick and I are walking down the stairs hand in hand. I don't remove the hoodie.


Patrick's POV

Pete and I both mostly nibble at our food until his mom takes the plates away, telling us that she expects us both to eat all of our breakfast. She assures us again that math won’t be a problem. She seems to think that is what upset Pete into locking himself in his room, but I know better. When he finally came out, despite wiping his tears away, I could see it in his eyes that he’d been crying. I don’t know if I should ask him about it, or leave him alone. It might help for him to talk about it, but I’m afraid I’ll push him away. And I think I’ll completely shut down if that happens. We walk upstairs and into his bedroom, clinging to each other as soon as we get on the bed. I’m terrified of going to school tomorrow, but I need to push that aside for right now. It’s my turn to be the strong and comforting one.

“Pete?” I whisper softly.

“Yeah?” he nuzzles my shoulder.

“Are... Are you okay?” I bite my lip.

He sighs, “I’m fine Pat-”

“Please don’t lie to me... I know you’re upset about something...a-and I don’t want to push, b-but it might help to talk about it?” I choose my words carefully.

“I’m a coward, okay? Mom she, she doesn’t see that. And her saying, saying I knew how to protect the ones I love, a-and doing the right thing... it’s not true. I was just going to ignore your existence completely. I’ve done so many awful things to people out of fear. That isn’t protecting who I love or doing the right thing.”

“Pete...” I frown and hug him tight before pulling back to look into his eyes, “You didn’t know me at first. So you couldn’t love, or even care about me then. Ignoring my existence sounds harsh, but it also meant remaining uninvolved in my bullying. And hell, you didn’t do a very good job ignoring me because here we are. You’ve done stupid shit Pete, but that’s part of life. We all do stupid shit. We all do things we aren’t proud of. All we can do about it is learn from it and not make the same mistake twice. Think of this as a fresh start. Be the Pete you want to be, and don’t let anyone, not even me, influence you into doing something you don’t want. And hell, we got rid of the main bully problem already. So this year, other than an insane math teacher and people questioning my trust in you, should be pretty easy.”

He nods and bites his lip, “I just can’t help feeling like I’m nothing but a coward...”

“Would a coward out himself to help this guy he just met? No. You, Pete Wentz, are not a coward.”

He smiles a little and hugs me tight, whispering, “Thanks, Patrick.”

I hug back and smile, “Anytime.”

He kisses my cheek and cuddles closer to me before we both start slipping into sleep.