FicWad

I lay wide awake staring at my ceiling and begin to twist my black curls at the end of my hair.
I sigh Why am i fifteen and i still am sleeping alone? Awe hell who am i kidding i don't even know my sexuality for fucks sakes!
I hear my mom smashing bottles of alcohol and screaming drunkenly.
I sniffle they've been like this for five years after my brother Jon got in the car crash he hes been in a coma for the last five years.
I get up and tip toe to the mirror looking at the short skinny boy with black eyeliner and nightmare before christmas pajamas.
"Why do you have to be such a horrible son? So pathetic..." I say this as the tears stream down my cheeks.
Anger starts to boil up inside me Faggot...
I shake my head no "I'm not a fucking faggot..."
Yes you are! You've got the hots for Marilyn Manson!
"Shut the fuck up i do not!!!!"
I grip at my hair and look at my Antichrist Superstar poster.
"He is quite an inspiration but i don't have the HOTS for him he's just kinda...sexy.
I giggle at that then get pist off.
My phone buzzes and i snatch it it's this emo guy named Andrew hes really sweet hes more goth though he wear black eyeliner and lipstick and he loves the Victorian age dress and chains he has this awesome hooded cloak like the grim reaper im thinking about trying him out maybe ill turn out bi hes really gay so of course he wont mind hes lonely...
I smile at the text
Hi Frankie... :)
What are you doing up so late Andy?
You sound like my mom Fwankie :( Iv been bored i was reading the Satanist bible and looking up some things that contribute to the Christian bible
:) Your so cute
Blush what was that Frankie
Grins your so naive
Shut Up Frank im just innocent!
You won't be when im done with you
Ooh im so scared of losing my virginity!
I didn't mean that
Oh blush
I gotta go to bed Andy xoxo
Ok night friend
I set the phone down and grab my electric guitar. Her name is Pansy.
"Hey love" I kiss her neck and smile My Pansy...
I start to play I put a spell on you...The Marilyn Manson Version.
I sing the words softly but huskily
"I can't stand the things that you do no no no i ain't lyin..."
As i come to the end my fourth string brakes and snaps across my arm leaving a really deep cut.
"Oh shit that's gonna need stitching..."
I look in the mirror "You fucking idiot what the hell?! Who do you think you are being all flirty and shit your not sexy your fucking PATHETIC!!!!"
I start balling and slamming my fists against my full body mirror and the glasses shimmers down into my hair glasses slicing and getting suck in my hands especially and my arms i slam my fist against the wall the grab my switch razor cutting deep slices into my arms.
The smell of blood and dry wall is to overwhelming my head stirs.
"Ooh...."
I hear my body hit the floor and-
Blackness
"Uhhh...."
I wake up in small puddles of my own blood.
As i begin to drowsily cleaning up the blood splattered everywhere i hear a knock.
"Yo whats up- OH MY FUCKING BLUEBERRIES WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?!" Ray looks in complete shock.
"Hey Ray Ray i murdered the mirror then the wall..." I smile and grumble.
He looks really upset now "Whats that long deep cut on your arm?"
"Pansy did that..." I pick up the broke fourth string. "See?"
"Oh, Frankie...why do you do this to your self?"
I look down "Because im pathetic...and im not special to anyone so no one should care and they don't." I sigh as he cleans up the glass very carefully once all of the evidence is disposed of he sits on my bed with my big first aid kit.
I pull out a pink vomit tub and rest my arm over it as Ray begins to pour half a gallon of alcohol over my arms.
"If it hurts really bad tell me." he says.
"Ok i will."
We spend almost an hour getting all the glass out.
I wince a lot it brings tears to my eyes i know i busted my knuckles and shattered my fists but im in so much pain right now.
"Ahh...Ray it bur-"
He leans over and presses his lips into mine passionately.
He moans "Mmm..."
I blush in shock not even focusing on the pain anymore just his big warm lips and our heated blushing i close my eyes gently and just feel his warmth he pulls away slowly and my eyes flutter open i look into his deep chocolate eyes and pant softly my blush sticks but lightens.
I feel a little of the burn but its mostly gone.
"Ra-" He softly kisses me again.
His cheeks are flaming red i put my purple and black swollen hands on his shoulders and nuzzle his neck.
He whispers "Did that relieve the pain?"
I nod feeling all bubbly inside "Mm hmm... Thanks Ray Ray..."
He blushes "I really love being your best friend." He grins "So are you going to get a piece of Andy?"
I giggle "Maybe."
He laughs "You really should fall in love with him he'd love to marry you and before you ask how i know that he kept going on about everything he absolutely loves about you."
I blush "Whatever there's absolutely nothing to love about me Ray Now help me unpack these boxes."
"No we gotta bandage you up then we can.
He holds each arms for me as i stitch and bandage myself he has to check me into the hospital and i get my wrists X-Rayed and bandage the doc doesn't charge me anywhere i always come in here.
"Bye Frank."
"Thanks doc."
Ray drives us back and shakes his fro at me "Geez Frank your such a beautiful mess..."
"I blush am not now stop quoting songs and get your ass up the stairs so we can unpack my shit."
"Its bad you even know what song that is." He retaliates.
"Shut the hell up and help me!"
"Fine Frankie..."
God i have lots of boxes to unpack thank god i didn't have to change schools and Ray now lives two doors down instead of five miles away. I smile at that thought.
Me and Ray unpack tons of stuff and i tell him where to put everything its Saturday so he stays over late until all i have is five boxes left to unpack i have comic books on a shelf in the closet along with a bag of my secret possessions and all my clothes are hung up my magazines and Cd's are finally neat and orderly and i cleaned everything im a total germaphobe along with my excessive amounts of vitamins i have to swallow every morning. Speaking of which i forgot to take them...Shit.
Well whatever... I go and take a shower using Ax shampoo and when i step out i dry my hair and throw on a pair of black skinnies with red stitches up the sides and a black and red iron maiden tee.
I open the steamy bathroom and smear red eyeliner under my eyes with a skillful hand.
Ray is sitting on my bed now just with his Zombie Rule tee instead of his Metallica hoodie
He holds up my nail polish bag "Wanna?"
"Yeah sure i need to paint mine again anyway."
I sit with him and he paints my bitten down nails black one by one.
"So there's this kid he lives across the street from here...his names Gerard."
I look at him "You know you or Andy are confusing me with my sexuality you two id date but come to think of it i have never really LIKED any girls besides that one Jamia chick but she cheated so whatever. ay i really think i am Gay. So about This Gerard dude...is he hot?"
"Well i guess, he's goth he has silky black shoulder length hair and he's milk white he wears eyeliner a lot and he's really quiet and iv only seen him smile once and that was when a butterfly landed on hid nose while he was tending to "his roses"."
I looked at him "He plants flowers?"
"No just roses."
I giggled "That's kinda cute whats does he dress like?"
He looked at me "I think you mean WHO does he dress like?"
I look up confused. "Huh?"
Ray laughs "Frank you two dress almost the same actually you dress more like his brother because his brothers wears the darker colored skinnies like you but Gerard only wears black ones. For some reason he loves to wear ties and black suites and he wears band tees and black jeans Doc Martens and Converse."
"How do you know all this shit, Stalker."
"No we ride the bus together he's transferring to our school Monday him and his brother he stands at the bus stop with me and he barely ever says anything to anybody he talks to no one. I asked him why he never does and why he only mumbles to himself and you know what he told me?"
"What?" I ask as he's on my pinkie.
"He said everyone always hurts him and breaks his heart so he never let's anyone get close."
I frown "I know the feeling."
"Not as bad as he does frank he has quite a history a couple of my friends told me some stuff. Frank he's been hurt in every size shape or form picked on and betrayed hurt and crying everything his boyfriends either used him to get to someone else or they fucked him and left him an insulting letter or email. Well not fucked he's a virgin but blowjobs or hand jobs they'd treat him like there whore and throw him away it's terrible."
I look sadly down "I want to meet him want to help, show him that some people really do care..."
He looks down sadly "I know and you'll be able to but Andy might be a problem. Gerard gets so broken if he see's the person he loves even hugging another guy if he knows that they used to have feeling for each other. Anyway people told me that when he's heart broken he doesn't come to school for weeks then when he finally does he can't hardly write or walk because he abuses himself."
He finishes my nails and looks at me "I have a friend his names Bob he has a huge crush on Andy so I'll take care of that."
I smile "Ooh Bobby's gonna get a nice piece of ass!"
"Shut up Frank." He grins pushing me.
I just giggle and look serious. "So what about me what will i do with him he's a mess!"
Ray sighs "I know but you are too just to a lesser extent. Frank he's a lost soul and quite "frankly" you will be his angel. Love him Frank be his one and only lose your virginities together treat him like a prince be sweet to him buy him expensive stuff and marry him trust me he'll fall for you if you just be really sweet to him it'll be hard to get close though he's scared of people now...his last boyfriend made him go to Los Angelas just so he could walk in on him fucking his new super model boyfriend and laugh in his face he called him all sorts of things it was most likely the worst thing he's ever went through but i won't tell you details or anything else get to know him your self."
I nod to him. "Fair enough, what color?"
He grins and closes his eyes "Surprise me!"
I giggle "Ok."
I pick up neon pink and bite my tongue to hold back a devious laugh as i paint the bright polish on his well taken care of nails he's such a fucking girl.
"So Ray do you ya know like anyone?"
He furrows his eyebrows "You mean like i wanna fuck em like or im completely in love with them like?'
"The in love like." I look up to make sure he hasn't peeked though if he had I'd be getting strangled right now so appearantly he hasn't.
"Yeah i do actually it'd be really ironic if you went out with Gerard because were best friends and im in love with his super sexy little brother. I saw him the first time and he's just so my type he's shy and awkward and he walks all cute hes the one you dress like his names Mikey and he's really skinny and lean but he's a little muscular his smile is really cute though i rarely see him smile he's appearantly a total smart ass and he makes everyone laugh but he almost always wears this poker face he's really nervous and panicky but it's so cute." He sighs dreamily.
I giggle "So what's there last name?'
"Way." He giggles all girly.
"As i said before...stalker! You stalk the Way Brothers!"
"No i stalk the sexy tight package little Mikey Way not morbid bad ass Gerard Way. Oh yeah despite all the hurt he goes through i heard he's actually really funny and a total bad ass when it comes to sticking up for people he's a smart ass too."
I grin "That's cool. I really can't wait to meet them- WAIT DID YOU SAY LITTLE BROTHER!?!?!?!"
"Dude! Chillax! Gerard's fifteen Mikey's thirteen and me and you are both fifteen. Mikey skipped a grade so he's in tenth now like us he skipped sixth grade so he and Gerard have been like hand in hand always."
I sigh in relief "Oh Ok then Raymond."
"How DARE you call me that if i could open my eyes id tickle you like hell!"
I laugh "I'm actually scared is the bad part."
I begin to clear coat his nails "What's your favorite pie Ray?"
"Pecan." He gets a dreamy smile "Mmm..."
I giggle "Mines cherry."
He snorts "And your sure your gay?"
"Shut the fuck up Toro!!"
He bursts into laughter as im finishing his pinky and i blow on his nails.
"Okay open your eyes."
He looks at them and gawks at them.
"I'LL MURDER YOU IERO!!!!"
I run out my door and down the stairs with him chasing me and i squeak as his hand brushes my shirt.
My mom catches him around the waist she's actually sober and she laughs.
"What the hell are you two doing?" She smiles we look almost exactly alike except shes blonde and her eyes and chin are different i favor my dad alot too though.
"THAT BASTARD PAINTED MY NAILS PINK WHILE I HAD MY EYES CLOSED!!!!!!SEE!?!?!?!?!"
He holds up his beefy hands so she can see.
"Oh well then go kick his ass Toro!!" She let's him go.
"Mom!! Oh Fuck! I run down into the basement and hide in the dryer.
I usually curse my tiny little body but right now im loving it i look at my black converse that i threw back on earlier..
I pant slightly and hear him rummaging threw stuff looking for me then my heart rate speeds up and i move my foot and my shoe squeaks. Oh shit
Your Fucked
Obviously...
Ray snickers and turns on the dryer.
I start spinning "AHHHHHHHHHHHH RAY LET ME OUUUUUTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He lets me stay there for another few seconds then opens the door and i fly out onto the carpet dizzy and hot.
He slams the door. "Don't fuck with ^Toro."
I sigh unable to breath. "And to think i bought you french vanilla ice cream..."
He bursts into laughter.
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