FicWad

Everything Ken says hits me, it is true, he pretty much summed up all of my fears and worries. I let the tears poor down my face. Gerard rushes over to me and pulls me into his chest.
“Don’t you listen to him Johanna, don’t you even dare! Things are different now and you know that!” He scolds. I continue to cry harder, and push Gerard away from me. I look up at him, worry in his eyes. I wipe my tears away.
“just…just leave me alone right now Gerard” I say running past him and up my stairs to my room.
I slam the door shut and flop onto my bed and start crying. Why do I keep doing this to myself?! Ken was such a fun loving guy who would be here, who would care and support for me, why did I do it?! I cry harder and I hear a faint knock on my door. I look over and see Gerard peaking his head in.
“Go away! I command shoving my face deeper into my pillow. I fill the bed go down, and I know he is sitting next to me but I don’t look at him. He places his hand in the small of my back, making me go numb yet again. How I long for a drink of Vodka. I finally clam my crying down and Gerard speaks.
“Jo…I know…YOU know this isn’t going to be easy, we knew that from the get go remember? Way back when, but I know you and I can make it through this. I promise. You and I are meant to be, and you know deep in your heart that is true, that you and me, we are supposed to be together.” He whispers. I still don’t remove my head from the pillow. I just take in what he said.
Is he right? Were we meant to be together? Is that why I haven’t been able to move past him? Why every time I kissed another guy I pictured his lips? I shake my head and finally peel my head away from the pillow and look up into his hazel eyes. He smiles down at me.
“This isn’t going to be easy Gerard, I don’t….I don’t do well with being left alone, you know this. I just…I just don’t know” I say trying to hold back more tears.
“We will go down that road when it gets here, but as of now, there is no chance of me leaving you for a long period of time” he begins to rub my back and I feel a small amount of comfort inside.
“Okay” I say simply. He smiles again at me and kisses me softly. My whole body tingles, and I shiver. Gerard pulls back.
“You cold?” he asks reaching for a stray blanket on the bed. I just shake my head no. He shrugs and puts the blanket down.
“You better head home, its getting late” I say pointing to my digital clock on my night stand. Gerard furrows his eye brows and frowns.
“You don’t want me to stay?” he asks innocently.
“Of course I do…I just want to start things slow. Get used to this again. Last time we rushed into it and things went to shit…If we do this Gerard I want to do it right.” I explain. He just nods and rubs the back of his neck.
“I understand, but in that case I will see you tomorrow. He gently kisses the top of my head and walks out the door, gently closing it behind him.
I shove my face back into my pillow and let out a scream. A scream of happiness, confusion, anger and sadness.
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I away the next morning with my eyes glued shut. I must have cried sometime in my sleep last night. I slowly rub my eyes and stare up at the white ceiling above me. I then take in a deep breath and that’s when I smell pancakes. I spring myself up into a sitting position on my bed and still trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes.
What is Arianna doing?! She never makes breakfast, unless Ray stayed the night and he is making it. The smell of pancakes grows stronger and my mouth begins to water. I haven’t had pancakes since the last time Gerard made them for me. I slowly make my way to the door and down the stairs. I sharply turn the corner in anticipation that Arianna is making pancakes but what I see is Gerard.
He is standing in front of the stove with a red apron on over his tight fitting jeans and Nirvana shirt. I twist my head to the side. How did he get in here? Why is he making me pancakes? And why does he look so damn sexy! Sensing my presence Gerard turns around and smiles at me.
“Morning” he says flipping over a pancake.
“Morning…what are you doing here?” I ask slowly walking over to him.
“Making you your favorite breakfast” he says plainly. He still remembers my favorite breakfast? I get goose bumps and smile.
“Oh…Well thank you” I say sitting at my bar. Gerard just nods and says
“Of course”
“But…how did you get in here?” I ask.
“The whole hiding your key under the door matt is not very original Jo” he says with a laugh. I let out a frustrated sigh. Gerard turns around and puts a plate in front of me. Two pancakes with smiley faces, my heart rate picks up when I look at them, remembering.
“IS there something wrong with them?” he asks worried.
“No…No they are perfect” I say grabbing a fork and taking a bite. He just gives me a weird look and sits next to me and joins me.
“So how did you sleep?” He asks trying to make small talk.
“Good” I simply say taking another bite of my breakfast.
“Jo, what did you mean by take it slow? With us…with this” he says pointing between us with his fork. I swallow my food and reply.
“Gerard…we rushed things in the past. What was it one week and we were in love? A month later you were moved in. 2 months later we had…relations…and 3 months after that I had a scare, and that’s what broke us up. It was just…so fast, too fast. I don’t want it to be like this now….now that we have this second chance” I say honestly. Gerard nods seeming to understand.
“I agree…way to fast. So where do we start?” he says taking a sip of his Orange juice.
“What do you mean start?”
“Where do we go from here? Do I call you my girlfriend? Are you a girl I’m just seeing? Do I ask you out on a date? Do I make you fall in love with my all over again? Where do we start Johanna?” he asks getting frustrated. I sigh and reply
“The last two” I say taking the last bite.
“Ask you out on a date? And make you fall in love with me again?” he repeats.
“Yes” I put down my fork and turn my whole body to face him. He crinkles up his nose and rubs the back of his neck. I know he is frustrated and uncomfortable.
“Fine…Johanna, would you like to go out with me today?” he asks. I feel my heart pick up speed again.
“I’d love too” I say jumping off of the bar stool. A huge grin comes across his face and I give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Then go get ready” he commands. I raise my eyebrow and before I ask he answers my question,
“You know I don’t do cheesey dinners and movies, I’ve got a whole day planned, so the sooner you get ready the sooner we can go.” I go to open my mouth again and he again stops me,
“No I am not telling you what we are doing just go get ready” He knows me so well….
“Fine..” I say turning my back and heading out of the kitchen when he calls after me.
“Oh and Johanna” I swiftly turn around on my heals and face him.
“yes?” I ask.
“It will take less than a week this time…” and with that he walks out of the room.
I stand there a bit wondering what he means, I am so confused yet so excited at the same time. Is this normal?.