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Here we go on the second chapter! Don’t forget that I encourage comments!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I quite obviously make no money in writing this…

On The Wrong Side of Sanity

Chapter 2: The Calm that Comes Before

I woke up for the second time that morning, still a bit too early. The sun hadn’t yet peeked out from over the horizon, and most of the school was still comfortably asleep. Sleeping in a dorm with loudly snoring classmates had always been somewhat difficult because I was such a light sleeper, but it had been an even more difficult trick to master ever since Sirius died. The nightmares of his death didn’t help, not when I would wake up just about to scream his name, hoping desperately that I could reverse his fall into the veil or go back to prevent it. The seemingly sparse amount of time that I’ve had to myself to get through the grief just hasn’t been enough.

After laying in bed for ten minutes staring at the ceiling and listening to Ron, Seamus, and Dean snoring, I decided to get up and head to the showers. It was a relief to finally get up after trying so long in vain to get more sleep. I swung my feet over the side of the bed and stood up quickly. I was briefly assaulted by dizziness from standing up so fast, but it swiftly passed. The cold floor woke me up a little more, though I still wished for a pair of slippers. After grabbing my glasses from the bedside table, I rummaged through my trunk to find some clothes, having some difficulty in the early morning darkness. I passed Neville on my way to the showers. It was slightly surprising to see him awake already.

“Morning, Harry,” he mumbled.

I nodded in return and continued on to take my morning shower. The water splashed out of the shower head outrageously cold until I gathered my wits enough to realize that I had turned the wrong knob too far. Merlin, I needed sleep. My shower finished, I dried off and threw some clothes on before heading out to the common room with plans to put some finishing touches on an essay that was due in charms. I got somewhat distracted by a spat in the common room between a couple of third year students, but the two participants soon left for their respective dormitories. With the common room empty, I took a seat and stared at the parchment in front of me, having no real energy to start adding whatever points that I had forgotten to write about earlier.

A sound coming towards me some few minutes later woke me from my staring contest with the parchment. Wryly, I noted that the essay had won. Looking around, I saw that the common room had filled up a bit more. A few first years were sitting at another small table across the room, leaning over the large table to look at each other’s assignments. I guess procrastination was a rather Gryffindor trait. The only exception I could think of was Hermione and Percy. Lavender Brown sat in one of the large armchairs in front of the fire reading a textbook, most likely trying to get ready for classes today, or perhaps getting up to date with the latest fashions. With girls, who knew? Hermione approached me from the opposite side of the common room at a swift pace, books in hand and ready for the day.

“Do you know if Ron is almost ready? We really don’t want to be too much longer. I’m pretty sure Professor Snape hinted at a pop quiz over the areas that are most likely to hide a Lethifold and how to spot and repel them for today,” she said, worrying her bottom lip. I don’t think she’s noticed that habit. I shrugged in answer to her question before turning my attention elsewhere. I wasn’t really awake enough, nor in the mood to hold a conversation at the moment.

The view from the window caught my attention. The darkness had fled the sky with the rising of the sun, making the stars fade away into nothing. Snow blanketed the ground outside, creating the illusion that the ground was smooth and unblemished despite the near constant use from the many students residing in the castle. The many branches of the evergreen trees near the edge of the Forbidden Forest bent slightly under the weight of the snow they now carried. It was the first heavy snow of winter, and the sun was nearly blinding with the light of the morning reflecting off of the freshly fallen snow. This early in the day, there were no tracks in the snow, and the evidence of people walking on the grounds had been erased by the most recent snowfall.

In the chair across from me, Hermione shifted in impatience, still worrying her bottom lip.

Soon enough, Ron galloped down the stairs as he usually did and the three of us headed to the Great Hall. There wasn’t much talk between us this early in the morning, as Hermione was the only one of us who was able to truly wake up before breakfast, and even she usually had a spot of tea to help her through morning classes. After entering the Hall, I took a moment to glare at Malfoy as we walked to the Gryffindor table. He ignored it, and I almost felt a little put-out that he hadn’t risen to the bait. Malfoy-baiting was a great way to start the morning and chase away any remaining feelings of melancholy from the poor sleep I’ve been getting.

The owl post came while I was working on finishing the last of my eggs. A speckled brown owl dropped the Prophet in front of Hermione and flew off once she had placed a few Knuts in the pouch it carried. One of the bird’s feathers floated down into my orange juice once it had taken flight. With a sigh, I pushed the glass away. While I was busy mourning the loss of my drink, Hermione was perusing the front page for any relevant stories. After a few minutes, she shook her head in sadness and handed the front page to me.

“There was another attack. A small half-blood family near London,” she informed me. I looked over the article Hermione had pointed out to me, skimming over the facts. It looked like the attacked had been somewhat expected, because the family had obviously fought back. There had been reports of Bellatrix Lestrange in the area, and so it was widely believed that she had been the culprit of the attack.

Lestrange. There were only a few people that I hated with such a passion, and she was among them. My hands gripped the paper tightly as I thought about what that bitch had done. My knuckles turned white from the grip I had on the paper. With a deep, calming breath, I put the paper down, not wanting to think about how that family had most likely suffered at her hands. Lestrange was a sadistic bitch, her track record with previous victims, such as the Longbottoms, only proved that.

“Harry, you ok, mate?”

I looked at Ron, who was still stuffing his mouth with the sausages, and nodded before turning back to my own breakfast.

“I’m fine.”

After breakfast we made our way to the defense classroom and saw the usual pack of students waiting at the door. No one wanted to be late to Defense Against the Dark Arts class anymore. Not ever. Being late was akin to simply inviting Snape to rip into you like an angry Horntail. Like the git ever actually needed a reason more than the general existence of children.

I was still disappointed by the fact that Snape now had the post as the defense professor. It had been my favorite subject at Hogwarts since I first arrived, despite a number of less than desirable professors (Umbrige and Lockheart being at the top of that list). Snape was the one teacher I just couldn’t stomach, even when he wasn’t singling me out, and unlike almost any professor before him, with the exception of the Ministry’s lackey - Dolores Umbrige, he was able to make me honestly dislike coming to the class. I was not sure whether the break I was getting in Potions class with Professor Slughorn was even worth it.
Snape glided into the room with his usual flair and barked out orders to sit down and shut up, and which page today’s lesson was over. After opening the book, I saw that we were working on the movements to a few counter curses. I looked over to Hermione and could see from the set of her lips that she was actually disappointed that there was no pop quiz after all.

I looked at my book and got started reading about the counter to the disfigurement curse and practicing the wand movements, getting irritated for no real reason that I could decipher. It was just that kind of day.

“Potter! If you keep waving your wand around like that, you are more likely to decapitate some unsuspecting fool rather than actually save them! I have absolutely no idea how you have confounded any of your previous professors into giving you anything but failing marks,” Snape suddenly yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts. Snape then returned to his desk mumbling under his breath about incompetence and the like.

Well, I had found my reason. I looked back to the book and saw that I had skipped a line while reading. It was even worse when Snape was actually right. The professor started lecturing us a few minutes later about the counter curses that we were working on, and I just tuned him out. I really didn’t feel in the mood to listen to him now, even if the counter curses he was talking about could save me in a fight.

My bad mood continued to plague me throughout the class. I generally hate being even remotely near our esteemed ex-Potions Master, no matter the reason. While I clearly understood that it was my irresponsible actions that lead to Sirius’s death, I still blamed him for being such an arse about things. If he hadn’t treated me so horribly and had actually tried to teach me Occlumency, I wouldn’t have gone on that ill-planned rescue attempt. Hell, if he had tried to inspire just the least amount of trust in me, I would have left him to take care of things. Maybe. It didn’t matter now, though. Sirius had already died; there was no changing that now. I was brought out of my thoughts as the class ended and everyone packed up quickly to leave, relieved to get away from the normally ill-tempered professor.

Ron and Hermione joined me in the hallway to walk to Charms. It was then that I remembered that I had never gotten around to putting the finishing touches on my essay. At least I had already pretty much finished it. Ron, on the other hand, had waited until after dinner last night to even start working on it, and had tried to rope Hermione into helping him. As usual, it hadn’t worked.

We entered the Charms classroom together, nearly the last to arrive. Professor Flitwick was crouched behind the podium, straightening the books that he often used as a stepping stool. The three of us settled down in our usual seats in the back of the room, and prepared ourselves for the class. Once everyone was seated and quiet, Professor Flitwick started the lesson.

“Today, we will be working on a spell to make objects react to people. This can take the shape of a door opening whenever someone approaches, or a cloak holder bending over a bit to be more accessible. This spell has even been used on gargoyles guarding properties; however the spellwork for a complete working gargoyle is far beyond what we will be doing today. We will be charming doorknockers to knock whenever they are approached. Now, since you have already learned the sticking charm, you may go ahead and stick your doorknocker to the wall, when you are finished, please stand quietly beside it while I show you the correct spell,” he informed the class.

Charms passed relatively quietly, with only a few mistakes here and there while the doorknockers where charmed to stick themselves to a wall and animated. Thankfully there were no unfortunate explosions, although one Hufflepuff accidentally charmed his own robe to stick to the ceiling, leaving him hanging until Professor Flitwick noticed the boy’s predicament. I couldn’t help but laugh a bit as the Hufflepuff tried to explain how he had made that mistake. After the class, we packed up our belongings and headed to lunch. Ron and Hermione chatted around me, which was actually somewhat comforting. Nothing was required of me except to listen, and I still felt like a part of the group. I’m honestly glad that they acted like nothing was wrong right now, though sometimes I feel like an arse for not talking with them more. Maybe it’s because I was still keeping that great secret to myself: the Prophecy.

There had been chances to tell them, many chances. Especially during my stay at the burrow over the summer. The words just wouldn’t come out, and I honestly don’t know why. I felt awkward every time I tried to get myself to tell them. Maybe I should just get it over with. I have to eventually. It wouldn’t be fair to them, otherwise. But, I suppose that conversation would have to wait a bit longer.

With lunch over, Ron and I headed back to the Gryffindor common room for our free period while Hermione went off to her Arithmancy class. It was a good thing that I could relax now, especially with the awful sleep I got. After what felt like fifteen rounds of being trounced at chess and then a bit of fun with exploding snap, Hermione met up with us again and we all headed to double Potions with Professor Slughorn.

A few hours later, Ron, Hermione, and I were heading down to the Great Hall for dinner. The sound of the many conversations in the Great Hall reached out into the hallway. Occasionally, the sound of laughter from behind the doors would drown out everything else.
How many times had I walked into that hall and had hundreds of eyes follow me in fear? In hatred? How about adoration? One could start to hate this hall with all of the numerous uncomfortable moments I had suffered here. Still, it had happened in the past and will probably happen again in the future. Nothing I could really change about that, was there?
When the three of us entered the Great Hall and sat down in our usual spot at the table, Ron turned to me.

“So, do you wanna come over to my house for Christmas break? Mum said she’d love you have you over. It’ll be cool,” he asked.

I honestly had to think about whether I really wanted to go. I saw as Ron’s eyes flicked over to Hermione. It was obvious neither of them wanted me to stay at the castle alone. I guess it would be more enjoyable at the Burrow, though. It would also be a good time to tell them about the prophecy if Hermione visited, since there wouldn’t be any classes that they could be distracted from.

“Umm..sure. Yeah, that sounds good,” I replied. I could have agreed with a bit more enthusiasm, but now I was nervous. I still didn’t feel ready to tell them. Ron, however, seemed relieved that I had agreed.

“Great! Hermione said that she’d be able to come over sometime, too,” Ron exclaimed happily.

After dinner, the three of us gathered in the Gryffindor common room in front of the fireplace; a very popular area, especially during the winter months. We each settled in our favorite spots in the overstuffed armchairs to spend some quiet time just hanging out. Hermione got out a book, and looked ready to settle down for what she would call some ‘light reading’. Ron and I sat back in our chairs, staring drowsily at the low-burning fire in the hearth, enjoying how the fire warmed our toes.

“Ron, have you started packing yet?” Hermione asked after a few minutes, giving Ron a look that clearly stated her assumption on the matter. “You know, there are only a few more days left until Christmas break begins.”

“Oi, gimme a break, ‘Mione. It’s not like we’re leaving tomorrow,” he complained. Hermione just rolled her eyes and then looked at me expectantly.

“I don’t really have much left to pack, so no worries there,” I told her. She leaned back in her chair, seeming satisfied with my answer and so letting me off the hook for the moment. I was sure that the break wouldn’t last too long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days passed even slower than I thought possible, mostly because I was looking forward to the break from school work, even if I was somewhat dreading the talk that I knew I would have to have with my two best friends.

When the time came to leave for break, Ron was unsurprisingly throwing clothes that were laying on the floor into his wooden chest without thought, trying to hurry as much as he could. I waited for him to finish packing, watching him throw things around from the comfort of my bed. My clothes were already packed, and sat next to my bed.

“Did you really have to wait until the very last second to pack?” I asked, tossing him a pair of pants that had hit me in the face in their brief flight towards his luggage.
“Oh, shut it. I’m almost done, anyway,” he snapped as he threw one of his knitted sweaters in with the rest of his clothes.

With the last of his belongings finally stuffed into the chest and the lid forced shut, the two of us headed down the stairs toward the common room.

Hermione was waiting for us when we came down the stairs from the boy’s dormitories, her luggage sat on the floor beside her and her arms crossed. She greeted us with a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head.

“I told you that you should start packing early,” she said.

“Don’t look at me! I was done packing hours ago!” I replied, my hands raised in defense. Pointing to Ron, I continued. “He was the one holding us up.”

Ron sent me a glare, and I decided that it was probably time to lay off teasing him for a while. Hermione just rolled her eyes again and moved us toward the hall.

The scene at the train was the same as it always was. Students were all chatting happily among themselves, glad to be out of classes for the winter holidays. Many people were rushing here and there to find an empty compartment. Every once in a while I could see the professors that were prowling along the train, making sure no squabbles started and keeping things as organized as possible so the train could leave on time. It was almost odd to see how normal everything was, even though everyone knew that Voldemort was really back and that people might die. It took a second for me to realize that, even though everyone looked happy and carefree, there were plenty of people who looked tenser. I could see older students scanning the crowd around them more often instead of allowing themselves to get lost in conversation with their friends. It was a sad change to see, though it made me feel somewhat better to know that my friends and I weren’t the only ones.

Ginny found us as we were getting on the train and guided the three of us to a compartment that she had found near the back. When everyone had situated their belongings, we sat down to chat while we waited for the train to leave Hogsmeade Station. The conversation was rather lighthearted, about nothing more important than the latest pranks that had been pulled or who had recently been forced to have detention with Filch. It was refreshing. The train finally pulled out of the station while the four of us were talking about our plans for the holidays.

“Well, my parents had been talking about taking a small trip to Spain, but I’m not sure now. The last time I owled them, they wrote back about something going on with work. But they did say that I would be able to spend four days at the Burrow!” Hermione said.

“Hopefully I’ll still be home when you visit,” Ginny said. “Luna invited me over to spend the night sometime over the holiday.”

“Where is she, by the way,” I asked. “I figured she’d sit with us on the train.”

“She was invited to sit with some other sixth year Ravenclaws. I think she’s gotten a little more popular with her house since she started hanging out with you,” Ginny replied.

I couldn’t help but wonder if the other Ravenclaws had really changed their opinion of Luna. Five years of being mostly ostracized from her house because of her interest in beings that most people considered make-believe couldn’t have changed just like that. Still, I hoped that these Ravenclaws were actually interested in getting to know Luna.

Ginny and I started a game of wizarding chess while Ron watched us play, occasionally letting us know when one of us had made a wrong move. Hermione settled back to read a textbook about Transfiguration. An hour later, a light tap on the door to our compartment caught our attention. The door opened to reveal Luna, who promptly made herself comfortable next to me and Ginny.

“I thought you were sitting with some other Ravenclaws,” Ron said, looking up from the chessboard. I saw Hermione look up from her book to level a small glare at Ron for his tactless words before turning her attention to Luna.

“They seemed to be infested with Kippyflets, which made them focus on just one subject and unable to talk about anything else. They didn’t want me to help get rid of the Kippyflets, so I left before they got to me too,” Luna explained. Curious, I couldn’t help but ask.

“What were they talking about?”

Luna looked at me, her eyes sharper than usual, before she simply replied, “You.”

Well, that figures. I shouldn’t have been so surprised. I was also rather disappointed that Luna still didn’t really have friends in her own house.

Once Luna got out her most recent issue of the Quibbler, she settled back and studied whatever was on the page that she had opened to. The rest of the compartment went back to what they were doing before Luna had entered. Not long afterwards, Neville also joined us in the compartment, saying that he needed a break from whatever argument Seamus and Dean had gotten into.

When we finally arrived at Kings Cross Station and got off of the train, the station was as hectic as it always was. Neville’s Grandmother found us right away. I watched her as she walked over to us, her stride swift, rather like that of Professor Snape’s. After a quick goodbye, Neville was herded out of the station under the intimidating eyes of his grandmother. Luna saw her father next, and made her way over to him with a content smile on her face.

Five minutes later, two hands landed hard on my shoulders. I spun around quickly, my heart nearly in my throat, and almost pulled my wand on Fred and George, both of which had wide grins on their face. Next time they did that, they were liable to get cursed. It would serve them right. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came up close behind them.

“Everyone ready to go?” Mr. Weasley asked.

“Well, Hermione’s parents haven’t shown up yet,” Ron replied. “Could we wait for them?”

“Oh, of course! We wouldn’t leave you here alone, dearie,” Mrs. Weasley said to Hermione.
It was about ten minutes later that the Grangers finally made it to the station. I was the first to notice them as they hurried over.

“Oh Hermione, we’re sorry we’re so late. The office held us up, and then the traffic was absolutely awful. Are you all ready to go? Your grandmother should be at the house soon, and we still need to ready the guest room for her,” Mrs. Granger said hastily. Hermione just smiled and nodded before turning around to say goodbye.

“I’ll see you guys soon. Hope you have a great Christmas!” she said before giving Ron and then me a hug.

Once Hermione was gone, it was time for the rest of us to go as well. The trip was blessedly short, and soon everyone was carrying their luggage up to their rooms at the Burrow. I gratefully sat down on my bed in Ron’s room, comforted by the sight of the familiar walls, and even by the sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen.

It felt like home.



A/N: Don't worry about the slow pace, things are GOING DOWN soon. A nice little intro before we really get down into the fun stuff. So no worries, 'cause we're goin' places ladies and gents!
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