FicWad

A/N: Thanks for reading, folks! Things are going a bit slower than I had anticipated for these first few chapters as I read through them over and over to avoid having to go back and make corrections after posting. Don’t worry, though! I’m working on getting chapters out as soon as I’m satisfied with them.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I quite obviously still make no money in writing this…

On The Wrong Side of Sanity

Chapter 3: All in a Hand Basket
Life is the fire that burns and the sun that gives light.
Life is the wind and the rain and the thunder in the sky.
Life is matter and is earth, what is and what is not, and what beyond is in Eternity.
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca


I ran through the tall grass as fast as I could, my breath coming in gasps. I was running out of energy, my pace slowing. The tall dead grass kept the ground hidden, and slowed my pace even more. My foot caught on a rock as I ran, causing me to tumble to the ground as I had several times already. Each time I fell wasted precious seconds that I didn’t have to spare. I pushed myself back up, and started trying to make up for the time I had spent getting back to my feet. My ankle began to throb in protest to the abuse. I wasn’t really sure I could outrun the inevitable this time. I closed my eyes and came to a stop, bending at the waist to try to catch my breath a little. The stillness of the night mocked me.

Bellatrix was standing mere meters away from me when I finally looked up, her eyes shining in horrible anticipation. Her breathing was as heavy as mine, and sweat speckled her forehead. The cool night’s breeze ruffled the woman’s matted hair. I stared at her in abject horror. The madwoman cackled in glee, my wand held loosely in her left hand, her own wand in her right. My heart seemed as if it was beating in my throat and my legs felt nearly numb. I was terrified. I wasn’t yet ready to give up, but I felt as if I had run out of options.

“Poor wittle Harry. Are you all alone? Little boys out at night need to be punished,” she shouted at me, grinning wildly. I stared at her, unable to draw my gaze away. I was angry; at her, at the fear that I felt, and at the whole situation. No, it was more than anger. I felt rage.

Pure rage.

She should be dead. I hated her. I hated her, and I wanted her dead. With or without a wand, I could take her down and make her regret everything. I would make her beg.

I would make her pay.

I started to charge her, wanting to take her to the ground, but suddenly her wand was up and leveled at me. I saw her lips move, but I didn’t hear what she said. It seemed as if I saw the red light gather at the tip of the wand in slow motion. The light hit me in the chest with enough force to send me falling backwards.

The ground did not come up to meet me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke with a gasp, wrapped in my bed covers as if I had been tossing in my sleep all night. The details of the dream began to fade as soon as I realized that I had been dreaming. Soon, all I could recall was that the dream had been about her again. I couldn’t even remember if Sirius had been a part of it or not, like it seemed he often was nowadays.

I slid out of bed in a heap and threw on some clothes so that I could go downstairs where, hopefully, breakfast was waiting. As I stumbled down the stairs, I was able to hear the sound of dishes clinking in the kitchen which brought a small smile to my face. Mrs. Weasley was already bringing food out to the table, with Hermione, who had arrived a few days earlier, to help.

“Here, dear. You go ahead and sit down now. Breakfast is just about done. If you want, you can go make sure the boys are up,” said the Weasley matron. Hermione nodded and turned towards the stairs. She smiled when she saw me there, and whispered a good morning as she passed on her way to wake up the rest of the house.

I made my way over to the table and sat down comfortably. After having spent so much time in the Burrow after being introduced to the wizarding world, it felt like my home. Five minutes later, everyone was sitting around the table and digging in to the wonderful breakfast.

“Hey, Harry. You wanna go check out the village today? Hermione mentioned that she wants to get out or something,” Ron said around a mouthful of pancakes, which earned him a glare from the witch that was mentioned.

“Sure,” was my only response. I certainly wanted out of the house for a bit. I loved the Burrow, it was like a home. It was comfortable here, but having been kept inside for so long was tiring.

“Cool,” Ron mumbled after swallowing his food first for once. “We’ll go around noon or so. More stores will be open then.”

Noon turned into three o’clock, after a game of two-on-two quidditch between me, Ron, and the twins ran on too long. As Hermione, Ron, and I walked through the muggle village, I wondered how different things could have been if I had lived here instead of at Private Drive. People seemed to be kinder here, at least. Not in as much of a rush as it seemed everyone was in where I had grown up. The three of us spent an hour or so just looking through the shops or whatever other buildings caught our fancy. Ron was especially interested in a movie theater, which had bright flashing lights around the entrance. Hermione decided that since Ron had never actually gone to a muggle theater before, we could catch a movie later in the day if we had the time.

After some time of following my two friends around more shops, and a bit of time watching Hermione glare at Ron for saying something stupid, I came up with an excuse to slip away.

“Hey guys, there’s something that I need to go pick up,” I said, watching as they turned their attention to me.

“Oh, ok. Sure. Where’d you wanna go? I don’t need to look at these anyway. Out of my price range, you know,” Ron said, indicating some jewelry that he had been looking at while giving Hermione sideways glances.

“Well, I kinda need to go alone. You know. There were some things I saw earlier,” I said, hoping that they would just take me at my word. Naturally, it was Hermione that protested first.

“You know that we’re supposed to stay together in the village! It’s the only reason Mrs. Weasley let us go today!” she exclaimed. Ron simply rolled his eyes behind her.

“Hermione, no one in this village is going to attack me. Seriously, there are so many precautions being used for my stay here, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had warded the entire area. I’m not going to be gone for hours on end. I just need to nip back and grab something. I’ll be back shortly. Definitely in time for the movies, ok?” I nearly pleaded.

“C’mon Hermione, he said he won’t be long. Jeeze, he’s hardly even let out of the house!” Ron exclaimed. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him in response, but then seemed to deflate a bit.

“Oh, all right. Ron and I will stop at that café over there. Don’t be long, ok? I swear, more than one hour and I will have the whole Order looking for you. Got it?” Hermione threatened.

“Loud and clear. Less than an hour. No problem,” I responded, glad that I could get out of the village. As I turned around and walked away, I swore that I could still feel the bushy-haired witch’s eyes still on me, as if I was going to try to disappear.

After wandering for only ten minutes, I started towards the nearby woods. To my surprise, I found a clearing that had absolutely no buildings near enough to be noticeable. It was relaxing.

The place was nice to look at, especially since it was so quiet. The birds were settling down in the light of dusk. Not even the normal day-to-day bickering between my friends could be heard from here. I was sadly glad to have snuck away. It didn’t matter though; I’d see them in less than an hour or so.

A light breeze ruffled my clothes and hair. I took a deep, relaxing breath. Even the bitter cold of the day couldn’t bother me at the moment. I so rarely had time for myself away from the prying eyes of fans and friends alike.

“I wish it could be like this forever,” I said to no one but the sky. Maybe I was talking to myself, who knew? No one was here to hear me.

A branch cracked, and I startled. I glanced around, and saw the cause of the noise. Heavy snow had piled up on the branches of an old, frail tree. I nearly laughed at my own twitchiness. I watched as the snow fell to the ground in large clumps, and then stared at the area that it had landed. I was sure my time enjoying the freedom was about at an end. I knew I should go back to the village proper and actually pick up those gifts that I had hinted about before the shops all closed.

My way back to the village was slow and calm. I was in no rush to get back into the business of life, but I certainly couldn’t hide from it forever. I could already see the first few houses. I looked back to my little hiding place once more and stopped. There was a dog there, which looked remarkably like the Grim. Like Sirius. I turned around and took a few steps toward the animal, my heart aching. The dog quickly ran off, obviously spooked. I stayed there a bit to stare at were the animal had stood, simply reminiscing, I’m not sure. It was the only reason that I noticed another form creeping up through the trees, staying low to the ground with a hand pointed in my direction. A hand which held a wand.

“Oooh, looky what we have here!”

I knew that voice, oh how I would never forget that voice. It was her.

“Well, come on, dearest. Don’t you want to play?” she asked; her sing-song voice just as grating as ever. “Doesn’t baby want to play today?”

I took a step toward her, pulling my own wand out at the same time. Bellatrix was playing the same game as always. Taunt the target, make them mad. But with me, she didn’t even really have to do that anymore. She had already done enough to my life. And I was angry. I wanted her to hurt.

I wanted her to scream.

I narrowed my eyes at her, my palms were sweating, and the grip I had on my wand was hard enough to hurt. Lestrange brandished her wand, and a dark, sickly-looking curse hurled at me. I dived to the left, nearly hitting a tree, and returned the favor. The bitch didn’t even bother to move, simply sending the curse in another direction. I felt my entire body tense in anger.

“Is that all you’ve got, Hawwy? Didn’t your professors teach you any better? No? How about your mutt? Didn’t he get to teach you anything about dueling before he died?” She giggled.

“Don’t you DARE mention him!” I screamed. My sight nearly went red, and I was almost trembling in fury. I sent a body-bind in her direction. She merely stepped out of the way, and returned with a blood-boiling curse.

The next few moments came and went so fast, I wasn’t even sure what happened. Spells were flying so fast, gouging holes into the trees, melting the snow around us in their brilliance. I couldn’t lose, though. I had to win this.

I had to win, for him.

My wand arm was caught by one bright blue spell which made me gasp in pain, and my left knee felt as if it had caught on fire. I was desperate. I had no idea what spell she was using. How could I win? Would I die just like Sirius? By the wand of his insane relative?

NO.

No, no, no no no no no!!

“I HATE YOU!” I screamed at her. My face felt hot, sweat, or maybe even tears ran down my face. My ears were ringing.

Spells flew out of my wand faster and faster. One spell nicked her in the neck, but it didn’t slow her down at all. I felt desperate. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t care if she did, though.

Finally, I hit her with something better. It was nothing but a leg-locker, which I didn’t even remember throwing at her. It did the trick, though. The black-haired witch started to tumble, over-balanced and unable to take a step. I relaxed.

She didn’t.

“Scindam Faciem!” She screamed, her wand still somehow pointing directly at me.

I clutched my face as pain hit me. I was nearly blinded by my own blood. I heard Lestrange call out another spell, but nothing came in my direction. Even so, I quickly wiped the blood from my eyes as best I could, fearing to give her too much time to prepare. When I saw her again, she was once more standing comfortably, grinning at me with that awful smile, one only seen on the faces of maniacs.

“You’re much more fun to play with than cousin dearest. He never put up quite a fight. I can still remember the surprised look on his face as he fell to his death. Can you? I’ve cherished that memory, you know. Only second best compared to the awfully loud screams of the Longbottoms. I only wish I could have been there for your parents, Potter.” She took a second to grin at me before continuing, lavishing in her victory.

“I would have loved to make them scream, too. Maybe even give Lily to Greyback. Wouldn’t that have been exciting? I’m sure Daddy dearest would ha-.”

“Avada Kedavra!”

Lestrange never finished her sentence.

Blood pooled around Lestrange’s head, a steady stream leaking from the small wound in her neck. Her head had fallen in just the right position to allow her blank eyes to stare back at me accusingly. I couldn’t move. My breaths came in short gasps as I stared at the body in front of me. She was dead.

I had killed her.

Nausea quickly assaulted me and bile rose in my throat. I fell to the ground heaving over and over; my stomach was determined to get rid of everything, while my face continued to drip blood into the snow around me.

She was dead. I killed her and now she’s dead.

I glanced at my wand lying innocently at my feet where I had dropped it. I couldn’t believe it.

I’d just used the killing curse, and now Lestrange was dead. How had I done that? Why had I done that?

I finally collapsed backwards to sit once my stomach had stopped expelling everything it could. Shivers not caused by the chill night came over me. I heard a pop somewhere to my right, but ignored it in favor of just staring at the cooling body in front of me. It felt like it had been years since I had gone out to check out the muggle village with my friends. We were going to go out to dinner together and maybe to a movie after that. How did this happen?

A few more pops sounded around me, and then I noticed some people were yelling. I didn’t look up at them until someone approached me.

“Mr. Potter? Mr. Potter, are you ok?”

I finally looked away from the dead woman to figure out what this new person wanted. It must have been an Auror from the look of his robes. He was walking towards me slowly, his wand lowered but still pointing at me. It finally clicked why there were Aurors here.

I had killed someone.

“Mr. Potter, I’m going to need to see your wand.”


…


Here we are peeps! Finally another chapter comes out! Next one shouldn’t take too long at all! Now be nice and review!