FicWad

He rushed back into his apartment. No one was there, finally he was on his own. All he could see in his head were the hazy thoughts of what had happened the past few days. Harlow in her coma, being admitted, killing a man, finding who did this, becoming unraveled. All of it was haunting him. All of it was enough to drive him entirely was he already insane? The thought, that single thought was enough to plague him. He was going to have to live with all these doubts. Was going to have to live with the vicious thoughts of doubting his own mind.

Locking all of the locks he stared at the door for awhile, picking at his nails and trying to keep his breathing calm. That man could come back. There had to be a reason why no one was able to find him. There had to be a reason why there hadn't been a body. That nurse could come back. That nurse could come right up to this door and start again the cycle he had suffered so cruelly from. That was what they wanted of him. They wanted to see him suffer, to fall apart, to let go of the last fragments of sanity that he had left. He had no choice in the matter, not anymore.

He slid down the wall, lowering his face to his hands and shook his head. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be. If he was losing his mind then he was losing everything else as well. He was scared that maybe being admitted was really the best thing for him to do. Maybe being away from the threat that he feared so much was what could help. But he couldn't think that way, if he did all his strength, his defenses, it would all eventually fall apart and he would be nothing left but what they wanted him to be. The ashes of his former self.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and his eyes shot up to the pounding. He knew who it was. He knew who wanted to come in. He wouldn't let them in though, he refused to. He wasn't ready to give in, wasn't ready to find himself emptied of all strength. They couldn't have him just yet, he still had some fragments of strength left. That had to count for something. He wouldn't let it not matter. He was alive just like everyone else. For how long he wasn't too sure but for now he knew that there was life running in his veins.

Again the knock came and his breath hitched in his chest. He wanted to scream. No one was getting inside of here, no one was going to see him like this. He had to heal first. He had to heal and then everything would go back to normal. He had to find his own closure and everything would come together again. Then that door would open and whoever it was pounding there would either disappear or be allowed in. Not yet. Not now. He wasn't ready. Would he even ever be ready? He wasn't sure that he could be. If that was even a possibility anymore.

Using the wall to guide him to his feet he stood up and looked around, away from the locks that were firmly set in place. This place that had once been a sanctuary of sorts after finding himself released of the bounds of agony that he had suffered in for so long. Now all this place was was tainted. Tainted and torn apart by death. He saw death everywhere, the taste of it was in his mouth, the sight of it before his eyes. He couldn't live within these walls anymore, all he could do was find somewhere else to hide away, somewhere else where safety could reside with him. Was there even such a place?

He backed away from the heavy knocks on the door and immediately went down into the basement, flicking on the light and looking around the gray painted box of an area. The shelves were bare, everything was gone. His throat felt dry suddenly, prickly in his coarseness. His mind was nearly spinning and he felt altogether like he was going to fall apart. Everything was gone. His evidence that he had suffered with something by somebody. There wasn't anything left that proved his story. How was anyone going to believe him now?

He fell to his knees. He was alone. Alone in his suffering and no one at all cared. His fingers clawed at the floor beneath him as every thought in his head became incoherent, became a mix spiral of things that he couldn't grasp onto. He felt himself scream but he didn't hear it. All there was was a deafening pain echoing inside of his body. He was falling apart at the seams, the only ones left holding him together. Why was he left in this isolation? Why did he allow himself to fall apart? He couldn't understand it, he didn't want to. The fear was becoming too much.

There was a sound from upstairs and numbly, he stopped. Sucking in a breath he rose to his feet and shakily reached for the light, flicking it off and drowning himself in darkness. No one would know he was here, they would leave soon enough. Whoever it was. He stiffly stood there, fear rushing through him. It could be him, could be the nurse. Could be anyone at all waiting for him. They could wait up there all day. If they were following after him, trailing him, they would know that he had come back here, that he was somewhere in this apartment and they would wait. Might as well show himself. Might as well take care of this, end it, once and for all.

He turned the light back on and the footsteps from upstairs stopped, halted at the flash of light. He guided himself along the walls and brought himself to the stairs, taking one creaky step at a time. His hand reached out and he opened the door, stepping through. The light shone on him and his eyes squinted a little, looking around for signs of the intruder. There was glass on the ground by the sliding door, that's how they had gotten in. He didn't step towards it, didn't want to. His breath was heavy and shaky and his head was still swimming with all of those tormented thoughts.

But then he came into sight. This was why they hadn't found the body. He was standing right here, in front of him. Those wide sinister eyes, the same knowing smirk on his lips. Yes he had found him again and this time Jared knew he wasn't going to escape like before.

"We meet again." The man whispered, taking his hands out of his pockets.

Jared shook his head.

This couldn't be happening. Not again.