Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Beautiful to me
5:30 comes too quick for me, and before I know it Gerard is knocking on my bedroom door. I turn down my radio and grab my purse and do a once over in the mirror. A pair of nice fitting jeans and a Blue flowing top. I open the door and see Gerard leaning in the doorway wearing his usual attire, his black jacket, a Misfits T-shirt and a pair of black pants. He looks extremely handsome right now. I finally make it up to his eyes and realize he is checking me out too. I blush and try to remember I am mad at him.
“Shall we go” I say walking past him. He sighs and we head out the front door.
“So where is the ‘usual’ place” he asks in a snarky tone.
“A sports bar/ gril off of Main Street” I say calmly.
“Sports? Really?” He says agitated.
“Yes, Gerard, I like sports…a lot.” I say truthfully.
“Didn’t know that” he says in a calmer tone.
“There’s a lot you don’t know” I sass back. He lets out an agitated sigh.
“Obviously, isn’t that why we are taking things slow this time?” he mentions.
“Yes. But if we are taking things slow then why did you call yourself my boyfriend?” I hiss. He gets a hurt expression on his face and I automatically feel regret for what I said.
“What did you want me to tell the guy? ‘oh we are just rekindiling our old flame but taking things slow this time around’ make him think he has even a shot with you?” He says getting angrier. I look away from him and out into the dark night. He has a point, Jason would take a shot if he could, I just can’t let Gerard know or find out that we dated pretty seriously in the past. Otherwise I could see him going into full jelousy/protective mode.
“Fine Gerard. I get it. But please, he is just a friend, don’t be too big of an asshole tonight though please?” I beg. He put s his hand on my leg and takes his eyes off of the road and looks me in the eyes for a brief moment giving me chills.
“No promises”
We pull into the parking lot and end up having to park at the end of the parking lot because the place is pretty busy tonight. Gerard and I walk into the restaurant in silence. We are greeted by an overly cheerful waitress who is wearing a Bronco jersey.
“Just two tonight?” she says over the loud music and TV’s. Just as I am about to answer I look over her shoulder and see Jason waving at us from across the room.
“Uh looks like we already have a table” I say pointing to him. She smiles
“Of course” and lets us past her. I briskly walk over to the tall table where Jason sits. He gets out of his seat and gives me a more than friendly hug. I can feel the hate coming off of Gerard. I look back at him and scowl, he then softens the glare on his face and takes a seat next to me.
“I haven’t been in here in months!” I enthuse. Jason nods taking a sip of his pop.
“Yeah me either!” He says back. Gerard sits there looking annoyed at our enthusiasm.
“So….Gerard what do you do for a living?” Jason asks in a friendly tone.
“I’m an artist” Gerard simply states.
“Oh…I hear there isn’t much business with this economy now a days in that career field” Jason takes a sip of his pop and Gerard rolls his eyes.
“More than you would think…” Gerard sasses. I gently kick him from underneath the table and he glares at me.
“Hi there! My name is Mindy! What can I get you guys to drink tonight?!” A small brunette girl asks.
“I’ll just have a sprite…” I say she nods writing it down then looks towards Gerard.
“I’ll have a coke”
“Okay and are you guys ready to order or….?”
“Just get us the wing platter” I said dryly. She nods and walked away from the table.
“So how did you two meet?” Jason asks pointing in between us. My heart rate picks up and I don’t want to tell the story, it will be too obvious...but Gerard speaks.
“I was playing in a band at the time, she came to one of my shows, was totally fan girling over me, saying she loved my music, I thought she was cute so I asked her out” he lies. I give him an evil stare and he has a playful grin on his face. Jason laughs.
“I never thought you’d be a fan girl Jo, specially since you refused to go to any shows with me” Jason states. Gerard’s eyes get wide.
“Well what can I say….I was on a lot of allergy medication at the time…and was delusional, his band wasn’t that good.” Gerard lets out a scoff and I laugh.
Jason sighs in relief.
The rest of the night is spent with Jason and I talking about vet stuff, and sports. Gerard seems rather bored, and barely eats his dinner. I take that as a good sign, he feels no threat. The dinner comes to an end and Gerard seems relieved. I excuse myself from the boys to go use the restroom and of course there is a huge line. Why are they are always huge lines for the girls room?! I stand there with my arms crossed waiting impatiently, this is going to take at least 15 minutes! Ugh!
I walk outside and I am shocked by what I see. Jason and Gerard are leaning up against Gerard’s car laughing and smoking a cigarette. I approach them slowly, as if I am walking up to a baby deer and don’t want to scare it away.
“Hey…” I say slowly. Gerard and Jason stop laughing and look at me. Gerard quickly puts out his cigarette then walks up to me. I raise an eyebrow at him.
“Alright well we better get going” Gerard says plainly.
“It was nice meeting you” Jason says sticking out a hand, Gerard firmly takes it.
“And I’ll see you tomorrow right boss?” Jason kids, I nod
“Of course!” I go to give him a hug and he hugs back but not as tight. What happened?!
I slowly get into Gerard’s car feeling uneasy for some reason. Gerard starts the car and turns down the radio to where we can barely hear the words being sung. Something is definitely up.
“So what did you think of Jason now?” I pry
“He’s….a good guy. I don’t think I have anything to worry about” he says honestly.
“And what made you change your mind?”
“Just an inner inkling I guess” I raise my eyebrow at him again.
“Put that down, nothing fishy is going on. You were right, I have nothing to be worried about” he says looking at me this time. My heart soars and I feel some relief.
“Okay…good” I say leaning back into my chair and looking at the road ahead of us. The rest of the ride home was in silence and we finally get to my front door, Gerard stands there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. He is just so cute!
“Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” He says rubbing the back of his neck.
“You guess?” I ask in panic.
“Sorry…of course I’ll see you tomorrow….maybe” he teases. He can see the tiny bit of panic in my eyes he laughs and then states “Johanna I went almost 5 years without seeing you…..I am not going to go another day…understand??” He says seriously. I nod.
“are you sure? After all….I am just a ‘fan girl’ “ I quote after him. He lets out a laugh and does a half smile.
“You’re cute when you do that” I say honestly.
“Sure you’re not just hopped up on allergy medication?” he teases back. I let out a small laugh and then he kisses me. I feel him smile in our kiss, I’ve missed this. This feeling of pure bliss, and joy with him. I just wish I could harbor this happiness that I am feeling right now, and save it for when I am feeling sad.
We part from our kiss, and I find myself wanting more. But then I have to remind myself that we are taking things slow.
“Goodnight Gerard” I say stepping into my house.
“Good night Johanna” he says back. I laugh and so does he. I shut the door behind me and head up to my room.
I start to take off my clothes and get into my pajamas when my phone falls out of my packet and lands on the floor with a thud. I pick it up and flip it open to see a missed call from Gerard at 8:57 pm. But we were at the restaurant then…why would he call? I quickly press the number one on my key pad and it says I have one new message from Gerard. I listen closely and all I here is a bunch of shuffling. He must have accidently butt dialed me. Just as I am about to erase the message I hear talking.
“So You and Johanna are the real deal huh?” I hear Jason’s voice on the other end say.
“Yeah I guess you can say that” Gerard says calmly.
“I can tell you guys are man, the way she looks at you…. I wish she would’ve looked at me like that” – Jason
“What do you mean?”-Gerard
“She didn’t tell you?” Jason questions.
“Tell me what?” Gerard asks getting agitated.
“We…we dated pretty seriously…for about a year, until my brother died then it all went to shit” Jason confesses. I hear Gerard let out a sigh.
“No…she didn’t tell me that” He says angrily. I feel my stomach start to do flips. Oh god
“Oh well….must be for the best then….but I mean, I can’t lie man, she is amazing, beautiful…” Jason starts but then Gerard interrupts him
“Okay yeah I get it” he says getting agitated even more.
“Woah just let me finish, what I was going to say was, I came back here hoping to be with her, she was all I could think about when I was in rehab, I was just so in love with her hell I still am but when I saw you for the first time, I thought I could win her over from you no problem. Then…then tonight I saw the way she looks at you…and the way you looked at her, it just took me back, I don’t know what you guys have, but don’t let it go. And I promise not to fuck with what you guys have, even I have to have respect for what you two guys have” I hear Gerard let out a sigh.
“Thanks man…I appreciate it” Gerard says sincerely.
“I don’t mean to pry even more, but how long have you guys been seeing each other? I mean I was in rehab maybe 6 months.” Jason asks. I hear Gerard sigh again and I know he is pushing smoke out of his lungs.
“It’s…complicated…” Gerard trails off.
“It can’t be that complicated” Jason encourages
“Wanna bet?” I hear Gerard say with a laugh.
“Try me, she is going to be at least another 10 minutes, you saw that line right? Women….” Jason says again. Gerard laughs and says
“ We’ve known each other for 5 or so years….when she lived in Jersey we dated very seriously for about 6 ish months. But then things got hard…she wanted a different life then what I wanted, she left and we found each other again and here we are…that’s the shortened version of it”
“Oh I see….so you loved her a lot even back then?” Jason questions.
“ Loved? Man…I still love her. She’s it…the one, and I will never let her go again, she thinks I am going to but I’m not, I love that girl, and whether she knows it or not…she still loves me” and that’s when the message ends.
“Shall we go” I say walking past him. He sighs and we head out the front door.
“So where is the ‘usual’ place” he asks in a snarky tone.
“A sports bar/ gril off of Main Street” I say calmly.
“Sports? Really?” He says agitated.
“Yes, Gerard, I like sports…a lot.” I say truthfully.
“Didn’t know that” he says in a calmer tone.
“There’s a lot you don’t know” I sass back. He lets out an agitated sigh.
“Obviously, isn’t that why we are taking things slow this time?” he mentions.
“Yes. But if we are taking things slow then why did you call yourself my boyfriend?” I hiss. He gets a hurt expression on his face and I automatically feel regret for what I said.
“What did you want me to tell the guy? ‘oh we are just rekindiling our old flame but taking things slow this time around’ make him think he has even a shot with you?” He says getting angrier. I look away from him and out into the dark night. He has a point, Jason would take a shot if he could, I just can’t let Gerard know or find out that we dated pretty seriously in the past. Otherwise I could see him going into full jelousy/protective mode.
“Fine Gerard. I get it. But please, he is just a friend, don’t be too big of an asshole tonight though please?” I beg. He put s his hand on my leg and takes his eyes off of the road and looks me in the eyes for a brief moment giving me chills.
“No promises”
We pull into the parking lot and end up having to park at the end of the parking lot because the place is pretty busy tonight. Gerard and I walk into the restaurant in silence. We are greeted by an overly cheerful waitress who is wearing a Bronco jersey.
“Just two tonight?” she says over the loud music and TV’s. Just as I am about to answer I look over her shoulder and see Jason waving at us from across the room.
“Uh looks like we already have a table” I say pointing to him. She smiles
“Of course” and lets us past her. I briskly walk over to the tall table where Jason sits. He gets out of his seat and gives me a more than friendly hug. I can feel the hate coming off of Gerard. I look back at him and scowl, he then softens the glare on his face and takes a seat next to me.
“I haven’t been in here in months!” I enthuse. Jason nods taking a sip of his pop.
“Yeah me either!” He says back. Gerard sits there looking annoyed at our enthusiasm.
“So….Gerard what do you do for a living?” Jason asks in a friendly tone.
“I’m an artist” Gerard simply states.
“Oh…I hear there isn’t much business with this economy now a days in that career field” Jason takes a sip of his pop and Gerard rolls his eyes.
“More than you would think…” Gerard sasses. I gently kick him from underneath the table and he glares at me.
“Hi there! My name is Mindy! What can I get you guys to drink tonight?!” A small brunette girl asks.
“I’ll just have a sprite…” I say she nods writing it down then looks towards Gerard.
“I’ll have a coke”
“Okay and are you guys ready to order or….?”
“Just get us the wing platter” I said dryly. She nods and walked away from the table.
“So how did you two meet?” Jason asks pointing in between us. My heart rate picks up and I don’t want to tell the story, it will be too obvious...but Gerard speaks.
“I was playing in a band at the time, she came to one of my shows, was totally fan girling over me, saying she loved my music, I thought she was cute so I asked her out” he lies. I give him an evil stare and he has a playful grin on his face. Jason laughs.
“I never thought you’d be a fan girl Jo, specially since you refused to go to any shows with me” Jason states. Gerard’s eyes get wide.
“Well what can I say….I was on a lot of allergy medication at the time…and was delusional, his band wasn’t that good.” Gerard lets out a scoff and I laugh.
Jason sighs in relief.
The rest of the night is spent with Jason and I talking about vet stuff, and sports. Gerard seems rather bored, and barely eats his dinner. I take that as a good sign, he feels no threat. The dinner comes to an end and Gerard seems relieved. I excuse myself from the boys to go use the restroom and of course there is a huge line. Why are they are always huge lines for the girls room?! I stand there with my arms crossed waiting impatiently, this is going to take at least 15 minutes! Ugh!
I walk outside and I am shocked by what I see. Jason and Gerard are leaning up against Gerard’s car laughing and smoking a cigarette. I approach them slowly, as if I am walking up to a baby deer and don’t want to scare it away.
“Hey…” I say slowly. Gerard and Jason stop laughing and look at me. Gerard quickly puts out his cigarette then walks up to me. I raise an eyebrow at him.
“Alright well we better get going” Gerard says plainly.
“It was nice meeting you” Jason says sticking out a hand, Gerard firmly takes it.
“And I’ll see you tomorrow right boss?” Jason kids, I nod
“Of course!” I go to give him a hug and he hugs back but not as tight. What happened?!
I slowly get into Gerard’s car feeling uneasy for some reason. Gerard starts the car and turns down the radio to where we can barely hear the words being sung. Something is definitely up.
“So what did you think of Jason now?” I pry
“He’s….a good guy. I don’t think I have anything to worry about” he says honestly.
“And what made you change your mind?”
“Just an inner inkling I guess” I raise my eyebrow at him again.
“Put that down, nothing fishy is going on. You were right, I have nothing to be worried about” he says looking at me this time. My heart soars and I feel some relief.
“Okay…good” I say leaning back into my chair and looking at the road ahead of us. The rest of the ride home was in silence and we finally get to my front door, Gerard stands there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. He is just so cute!
“Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” He says rubbing the back of his neck.
“You guess?” I ask in panic.
“Sorry…of course I’ll see you tomorrow….maybe” he teases. He can see the tiny bit of panic in my eyes he laughs and then states “Johanna I went almost 5 years without seeing you…..I am not going to go another day…understand??” He says seriously. I nod.
“are you sure? After all….I am just a ‘fan girl’ “ I quote after him. He lets out a laugh and does a half smile.
“You’re cute when you do that” I say honestly.
“Sure you’re not just hopped up on allergy medication?” he teases back. I let out a small laugh and then he kisses me. I feel him smile in our kiss, I’ve missed this. This feeling of pure bliss, and joy with him. I just wish I could harbor this happiness that I am feeling right now, and save it for when I am feeling sad.
We part from our kiss, and I find myself wanting more. But then I have to remind myself that we are taking things slow.
“Goodnight Gerard” I say stepping into my house.
“Good night Johanna” he says back. I laugh and so does he. I shut the door behind me and head up to my room.
I start to take off my clothes and get into my pajamas when my phone falls out of my packet and lands on the floor with a thud. I pick it up and flip it open to see a missed call from Gerard at 8:57 pm. But we were at the restaurant then…why would he call? I quickly press the number one on my key pad and it says I have one new message from Gerard. I listen closely and all I here is a bunch of shuffling. He must have accidently butt dialed me. Just as I am about to erase the message I hear talking.
“So You and Johanna are the real deal huh?” I hear Jason’s voice on the other end say.
“Yeah I guess you can say that” Gerard says calmly.
“I can tell you guys are man, the way she looks at you…. I wish she would’ve looked at me like that” – Jason
“What do you mean?”-Gerard
“She didn’t tell you?” Jason questions.
“Tell me what?” Gerard asks getting agitated.
“We…we dated pretty seriously…for about a year, until my brother died then it all went to shit” Jason confesses. I hear Gerard let out a sigh.
“No…she didn’t tell me that” He says angrily. I feel my stomach start to do flips. Oh god
“Oh well….must be for the best then….but I mean, I can’t lie man, she is amazing, beautiful…” Jason starts but then Gerard interrupts him
“Okay yeah I get it” he says getting agitated even more.
“Woah just let me finish, what I was going to say was, I came back here hoping to be with her, she was all I could think about when I was in rehab, I was just so in love with her hell I still am but when I saw you for the first time, I thought I could win her over from you no problem. Then…then tonight I saw the way she looks at you…and the way you looked at her, it just took me back, I don’t know what you guys have, but don’t let it go. And I promise not to fuck with what you guys have, even I have to have respect for what you two guys have” I hear Gerard let out a sigh.
“Thanks man…I appreciate it” Gerard says sincerely.
“I don’t mean to pry even more, but how long have you guys been seeing each other? I mean I was in rehab maybe 6 months.” Jason asks. I hear Gerard sigh again and I know he is pushing smoke out of his lungs.
“It’s…complicated…” Gerard trails off.
“It can’t be that complicated” Jason encourages
“Wanna bet?” I hear Gerard say with a laugh.
“Try me, she is going to be at least another 10 minutes, you saw that line right? Women….” Jason says again. Gerard laughs and says
“ We’ve known each other for 5 or so years….when she lived in Jersey we dated very seriously for about 6 ish months. But then things got hard…she wanted a different life then what I wanted, she left and we found each other again and here we are…that’s the shortened version of it”
“Oh I see….so you loved her a lot even back then?” Jason questions.
“ Loved? Man…I still love her. She’s it…the one, and I will never let her go again, she thinks I am going to but I’m not, I love that girl, and whether she knows it or not…she still loves me” and that’s when the message ends.
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