Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Beautiful to me
The rest of that night Gerard and I spent curled up on my couch watching the first 3 original Star Wars Movies. Gerard insisted on me watching it, saying it was epic and by far one of his favorite movies. It was okay, not my favorite but it made me happy to see him so happy. He went on a nerd spree telling me everything about Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader and dear lord don’t get me started on how excited he got over Yoda. I just smiled and let him do his thing.
It’s Monday morning and I am woken up by the annoying beep of my alarm. I groan and reach over to hit the snooze button. I turn over on my back and stare at the ceiling. I do a recap of yesterday and a smile spreads across my lips and my stomach starts dancing. I can’t believe this is happening. There have been several morning where I have woken up wishing I had this feeling in my stomach and right now I am so glad to have it again.
I hop out of bed and go directly into the shower still smiling I even manage to sing a song or two that play on the radio. Once I get out I take a look at myself In the mirror, my blonde hair stuck to the side of my head and my bright blue eyes staring back at me. I let the towel fall to the ground and examine myself. I think of how I looked 4-5 years ago. I was skin and bones, now I have gained a lot of weight since then, but I have curves, a small belly, C cup sized breasts and averaged size thighs. I..look healthy, I smile a real smile for once.
I walk from the connecting bathroom to my bedroom and start to change into my usual attire, scrubs. I throw on a purple pair and do my make up to match. I walk/skip down stairs and make my way to the coffee maker, still smiling, still feeling amazing. I hear foot steps coming from down the stairs and see Arianna come into the kitchen. Her hair a big matted mess and make up smeared everywhere. I let out a small laugh and she glares at me.
“Why are you so happy?! It’s a Monday!” she says in a grumpy tone.
“I just…am” I say taking a sip of my morning coffee. She rolls her eyes and then smiles.
“It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you and Gerard spent all day yesterday together and all last night cuddling on the couch now would it?” she says with a smirk. I shrug my shoulders.
“It might…” I say grinning and taking a sip of coffee.
“Well good, this is the happiest I have seen you in a long ass time” and with that she walks out of the kitchen and I hear her close the door to the restroom. I let out a sigh and look at the clock and see it is time for me to leave for work. I grab my purse and keys and head out the front door.
I look across the street and smile. I see Gerard’s car is still parked there, I get butterflies knowing he is this close. I get in my car and head to the clinic. On the drive there I sing the whole way to the radio I pull into the parking lot and go inside still grinning from ear to ear.
I open the door and see Chaeli sitting at her desk getting set up she looks up from it and waves I wave back just as cheerfully and she gives me a shocked look. Even I can admit I am rarely this happy in the mornings. I head back in to the hospital portion of the shelter and put my lunch in the fridge and pour myself another cup of coffee from the coffee maker we have in the break room. Candice walks in with a frown on and puts something in the fridge also. She looks up at me and scowls then grabs herself a cup of coffee too.
“What the hell are you so happy about this morning?” she questions. I just shrug and continue to take another drink.
“Ahh…so it has to do with that guy. Makes sense” she says pouring sugar into her cup.
“Maybe” I say in a sing song voice and walk out my coffee cup to my lips.
The entire morning I am nothing but smiles and happiness, I didn’t even get mad or flinch when a puppy pee’d and pooped on me today. But after a hectic morning I finally get the chance to go into my office and get caught up on some things. I am not even in my office 10 minutes and Chaeli is knocking at my door.
“Dr. Retorio…there is a man here to see you!” Chaeli says from the other side of the door. My heart soars and I get goosebumps. It’s Gerard. I spring from my desk and briskly walk down the hall and into the lobby area. The moment I see who is there my breath is taken away, and my rate picks up even more and I get a nervous feeling in my stomach.
Standing there is a man about 6 foot, with a buzz cut hair style, bright blue eyes, a small scruffy beard and a smile to die for. He has tattoos that run up both of his arms and he is dressed in a blue button up shirt and a pair of faded jeans. I’ve missed him.
“Johanna!” He says walking up me and giving me a huge hug. I let out a nervous laugh and hug him back.
The man is named Jason. He was a technician for me about 6 months ago, one of the best techs if I do say so myself. We dated for about one year, and I was honestly in love with him until everything went to hell. His twin brother died in combat over in Iraq and it tore him apart, he went into a severe depression and started using alcohol and drugs just like I did. I made him go to rehab cutting our relationship short. I promised to be his friend and that he could have his job back once he was better…oh how I am regretting this now.
“Jason!” I exclaim back feeling at ease in his embrace. He pulls away and looks at me.
“You look amazing! I’ve missed you!” He says hugging me again. I smile and pat his back.
“Are you doing better?” I ask pulling out of his hug. He nods.
“Yeah that place you suggested was just awesome really helped me out, I can’t thank you enough Jo” He says with hope in his eyes.
“Great I am glad! There are awesome people there with amazing skills.”
“So…do you remember what you promised me when I left for rehab?” he says with a smile on his face. I let out a sigh grin and say.
“Of course…when can you start?”
“Tomorrow?” he says enthusiastically.
“Sounds good! I’ve missed my A+ tech!” I cheer back. He reaches in for another hug. Why does he have to keep hugging me?
“Do you want to dinner and do some catching up?” he asks tightening our embrace.
“Sure” I whimper out. Then the alarm for the door goes off signaling that someone has walked in. I peek over Jason’s shoulder and see it is Gerard, with an angry/quizzical expression on his face. Jason lets go of our hug and turns around and faces him.
I look over and Chaeli who is just rolling her eyes when she sees Gerard. I let out a quiet laugh at her reaction.
Gerard walks up to me and Jason and stands up straight. They are both sizing each other up. Oh good lord.
“Gerard this is my FRIEND Jason, Jason this is my…..” and that’s it. I don’t know what to call Gerard right now at the moment we haven’t really discussed anything else other than taking things slow. Gerard looks at me again and gives me a ‘are you fucking serious you don’t know?’ look then finishes my sentence “boyfriend”. Jason gets a hurt look on his face and my heart sinks.
“O…oh” He stutters. But he manages to give Gerard his hands and they shake hands. Phew glad that’s over!
“Well now that you two have met, Gerard Jason is an old friend of mine and he has been out of town for a couple of months and was wondering if I would go to dinner with him…would you mind?” I ask. Wait why am I asking him for permission?!
“No sounds good, I could use some dinner later” he says inviting himself. What an ass! My smile turns to a frown and I roll my eyes at him. He notices.
“Yeah sounds…great!” Jason enthuses with a fake grin.
“Alright well I will meet you at the usual place 6?” I ask he nods. He nods at me and walks out the door. Gerard lets out a scoff, and I storm away from him and back into my office. He follows.
“What?” he asks leaning in the door way. I turn around and am taken back by how handsome he looks. The bond back between us, he makes it so hard to be mad at him, but I still try.
“You just invited yourself to dinner!” I explain. Gerard shrugs.
“So?” he says simply
“So? Really?! He is a friend Gerard, you have nothing to worry about” I state.
“Yeah…doesn’t seem that way”
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“The way he looked at you…no he was not going to be a ‘friend’ so yes I am going, if you’re mad then oh well, I’ll pick you up here at 5:30 and we’ll go to dinner” he demands and before I can protest as if he knows what I am going to do he comes up to me and kisses me and my mind goes blank and my body goes numb.
“I’m not taking any chances, it’s you and me okay? I am not losing you again to some other guy if you say he is just a friend then I believe you, but I don’t believe him. Sorry.” He kisses me again and walks out of my office. I smile again and let the butterflies fill my stomach. What will this night hold?
It’s Monday morning and I am woken up by the annoying beep of my alarm. I groan and reach over to hit the snooze button. I turn over on my back and stare at the ceiling. I do a recap of yesterday and a smile spreads across my lips and my stomach starts dancing. I can’t believe this is happening. There have been several morning where I have woken up wishing I had this feeling in my stomach and right now I am so glad to have it again.
I hop out of bed and go directly into the shower still smiling I even manage to sing a song or two that play on the radio. Once I get out I take a look at myself In the mirror, my blonde hair stuck to the side of my head and my bright blue eyes staring back at me. I let the towel fall to the ground and examine myself. I think of how I looked 4-5 years ago. I was skin and bones, now I have gained a lot of weight since then, but I have curves, a small belly, C cup sized breasts and averaged size thighs. I..look healthy, I smile a real smile for once.
I walk from the connecting bathroom to my bedroom and start to change into my usual attire, scrubs. I throw on a purple pair and do my make up to match. I walk/skip down stairs and make my way to the coffee maker, still smiling, still feeling amazing. I hear foot steps coming from down the stairs and see Arianna come into the kitchen. Her hair a big matted mess and make up smeared everywhere. I let out a small laugh and she glares at me.
“Why are you so happy?! It’s a Monday!” she says in a grumpy tone.
“I just…am” I say taking a sip of my morning coffee. She rolls her eyes and then smiles.
“It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you and Gerard spent all day yesterday together and all last night cuddling on the couch now would it?” she says with a smirk. I shrug my shoulders.
“It might…” I say grinning and taking a sip of coffee.
“Well good, this is the happiest I have seen you in a long ass time” and with that she walks out of the kitchen and I hear her close the door to the restroom. I let out a sigh and look at the clock and see it is time for me to leave for work. I grab my purse and keys and head out the front door.
I look across the street and smile. I see Gerard’s car is still parked there, I get butterflies knowing he is this close. I get in my car and head to the clinic. On the drive there I sing the whole way to the radio I pull into the parking lot and go inside still grinning from ear to ear.
I open the door and see Chaeli sitting at her desk getting set up she looks up from it and waves I wave back just as cheerfully and she gives me a shocked look. Even I can admit I am rarely this happy in the mornings. I head back in to the hospital portion of the shelter and put my lunch in the fridge and pour myself another cup of coffee from the coffee maker we have in the break room. Candice walks in with a frown on and puts something in the fridge also. She looks up at me and scowls then grabs herself a cup of coffee too.
“What the hell are you so happy about this morning?” she questions. I just shrug and continue to take another drink.
“Ahh…so it has to do with that guy. Makes sense” she says pouring sugar into her cup.
“Maybe” I say in a sing song voice and walk out my coffee cup to my lips.
The entire morning I am nothing but smiles and happiness, I didn’t even get mad or flinch when a puppy pee’d and pooped on me today. But after a hectic morning I finally get the chance to go into my office and get caught up on some things. I am not even in my office 10 minutes and Chaeli is knocking at my door.
“Dr. Retorio…there is a man here to see you!” Chaeli says from the other side of the door. My heart soars and I get goosebumps. It’s Gerard. I spring from my desk and briskly walk down the hall and into the lobby area. The moment I see who is there my breath is taken away, and my rate picks up even more and I get a nervous feeling in my stomach.
Standing there is a man about 6 foot, with a buzz cut hair style, bright blue eyes, a small scruffy beard and a smile to die for. He has tattoos that run up both of his arms and he is dressed in a blue button up shirt and a pair of faded jeans. I’ve missed him.
“Johanna!” He says walking up me and giving me a huge hug. I let out a nervous laugh and hug him back.
The man is named Jason. He was a technician for me about 6 months ago, one of the best techs if I do say so myself. We dated for about one year, and I was honestly in love with him until everything went to hell. His twin brother died in combat over in Iraq and it tore him apart, he went into a severe depression and started using alcohol and drugs just like I did. I made him go to rehab cutting our relationship short. I promised to be his friend and that he could have his job back once he was better…oh how I am regretting this now.
“Jason!” I exclaim back feeling at ease in his embrace. He pulls away and looks at me.
“You look amazing! I’ve missed you!” He says hugging me again. I smile and pat his back.
“Are you doing better?” I ask pulling out of his hug. He nods.
“Yeah that place you suggested was just awesome really helped me out, I can’t thank you enough Jo” He says with hope in his eyes.
“Great I am glad! There are awesome people there with amazing skills.”
“So…do you remember what you promised me when I left for rehab?” he says with a smile on his face. I let out a sigh grin and say.
“Of course…when can you start?”
“Tomorrow?” he says enthusiastically.
“Sounds good! I’ve missed my A+ tech!” I cheer back. He reaches in for another hug. Why does he have to keep hugging me?
“Do you want to dinner and do some catching up?” he asks tightening our embrace.
“Sure” I whimper out. Then the alarm for the door goes off signaling that someone has walked in. I peek over Jason’s shoulder and see it is Gerard, with an angry/quizzical expression on his face. Jason lets go of our hug and turns around and faces him.
I look over and Chaeli who is just rolling her eyes when she sees Gerard. I let out a quiet laugh at her reaction.
Gerard walks up to me and Jason and stands up straight. They are both sizing each other up. Oh good lord.
“Gerard this is my FRIEND Jason, Jason this is my…..” and that’s it. I don’t know what to call Gerard right now at the moment we haven’t really discussed anything else other than taking things slow. Gerard looks at me again and gives me a ‘are you fucking serious you don’t know?’ look then finishes my sentence “boyfriend”. Jason gets a hurt look on his face and my heart sinks.
“O…oh” He stutters. But he manages to give Gerard his hands and they shake hands. Phew glad that’s over!
“Well now that you two have met, Gerard Jason is an old friend of mine and he has been out of town for a couple of months and was wondering if I would go to dinner with him…would you mind?” I ask. Wait why am I asking him for permission?!
“No sounds good, I could use some dinner later” he says inviting himself. What an ass! My smile turns to a frown and I roll my eyes at him. He notices.
“Yeah sounds…great!” Jason enthuses with a fake grin.
“Alright well I will meet you at the usual place 6?” I ask he nods. He nods at me and walks out the door. Gerard lets out a scoff, and I storm away from him and back into my office. He follows.
“What?” he asks leaning in the door way. I turn around and am taken back by how handsome he looks. The bond back between us, he makes it so hard to be mad at him, but I still try.
“You just invited yourself to dinner!” I explain. Gerard shrugs.
“So?” he says simply
“So? Really?! He is a friend Gerard, you have nothing to worry about” I state.
“Yeah…doesn’t seem that way”
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“The way he looked at you…no he was not going to be a ‘friend’ so yes I am going, if you’re mad then oh well, I’ll pick you up here at 5:30 and we’ll go to dinner” he demands and before I can protest as if he knows what I am going to do he comes up to me and kisses me and my mind goes blank and my body goes numb.
“I’m not taking any chances, it’s you and me okay? I am not losing you again to some other guy if you say he is just a friend then I believe you, but I don’t believe him. Sorry.” He kisses me again and walks out of my office. I smile again and let the butterflies fill my stomach. What will this night hold?
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