Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Car Crash Hearts
I Could Learn To Pity, Yes I Could.
0 reviewsAUTHOR"S NOTE: I am now activley posting on Mibba, here is the link: http://www.mibba.com/Stories/Info/521107/The-Car-Crash-Hearts/ Honestly though, I prefer it; there is a real sense of commu...
0Unrated
I was glad I now had a distraction from school. Jan and Andy-- I couldn’t quite tell you why, and I’d only known them a day, but it felt like I fit right in with them. I think its because they are just like me, except they have come to terms with the fact that they are different than everybody else, and they have written the book on how to not give a shit.
An unofficial island of misfit toys, and I belonged. So, school suddenly felt less impending. The next two days came and went and I found myself getting up each morning with a sense of comfort, knowing that I would ride to school with Andy and Jan, Andy would be playing either Metallica, Iron Maiden, or Judas Priest at eardrum bursting decibels, but I wouldn’t care. Jan would be chatting about her latest venture of justice and equality of animal rights, occasionally yelling for Andy to turn it down so she wouldn’t lose her voice screaming over the music, we weren’t at a metalfest, although she wished we were, which made me laugh. Allie would be talking about the gossip for the day and smoking a cigarette, which I was 90 percent sure she did to look cool. Bob, if he was there, would be sleeping, and if he woke up he would ask where we were going. Bob was not a morning person.
Sure enough, when they pulled up outside and Andy honked his horn, I left the house and walked down the drive. Usually, Addie was gone far before I even made it outside, so I locked the house as usual and made my way to the curb. When I opened the van door, that’s exactly what happened, and I could only grin as we greeted each other, and its not fake, its just seeing people who genuinely make you happy.
I went through my day as usual, my classes seemed easy and I was grateful for that. There was a lot of homework I was being assigned, but I knew I would do fine. I mostly ignored the few kids that stared at me. There were hardly any, not like yesterday. But things in high school change quickly, and after the second day they had forgotten about me. I reminded myself it was better like that, although I was secretly hoping that my reputation would have kids leave me alone. It was better if guys thought I would sooner beat their face in then hit on me with meaningless persistence and cheesy lines.
I know what most boys want, and I’m not interested. I had a boyfriend in my sophomore year of high school. His name was Elliot, and we mostly made out in his van parked outside the mall during school. He made me come dangerously close to failing my sophomore year, he was always convincing me to sneak off with him. He told me he loved me, and he always wanted to be near me. Then, after prom, he made it perfectly clear what he was after. When I wouldn’t do it with him, he made up lies and told the whole school that I was cheating on him, I was a slut who couldn’t keep her legs closed, he even tried to get me to take off my clothes and secretly get pictures, which I’m sure he would have used to slander my name further. It was then I learned my lesson about men; they are all after one thing. I had so many absences at the end of the school year I was only a few more missed days from failing, and my grades had dropped considerably. I pulled myself together and passed by the skin of my teeth. I only allowed myself to have friends from then on. Relationships beyond, there was too much at stake.
When theatre came around I met Jan as usual on outside her art history classroom and walked to the classroom with her. I was always envious when she would talk about art. I wondered to myself why I hadn’t taken it. That’s right, the previous me had made the decision to take guitar. Judging by the fact that I had decided to take a first semester guitar, I hadn’t been planning to make much of my life with music. Or I had been scared of my dreams. At the present moment, it was looking like the universe, having broken my arm and giving me amnesia, and oh, that’s right, my guitar was stolen (all in the same day), I wasn’t fated to be involved with music.
Either way, I found myself thinking more and more about it. As attendance was taken, I suddenly remembered that Patrick had told me he was in theatre. I hadn’t actually seen him since Monday, it was weird. He hadn’t been in guitar class either. The teacher, Mrs. Schumann, called his name but he was apparently not in class.
“Do you know a kid named Patrick? Short, wears glasses? He’s got these ridiculous sideburns. He’s in my guitar class too.”
Jan frowned as she thought, twirling her nose piercing. “Yeah I know him. He was in a few plays last year, but he didn’t have a major role. He’s super quiet, he hardly says a thing. I think he’s probably in this class.” She looked around as well and shrugged. “Why, you have a thing for him?” she said with a teasing smirk.
“No,” I said quickly, feeling my face get hot. I wasn’t sure why I should be blushing. “He just told me he had theatre, and he’s not here. Oh well, it’s not a big deal.”
I quickly changed the subject and I told Jan that I had been missing doing art regularly, and she instantly brightened. If there’s one thing Jan loves more than anything it’s backing a dying cause.
“Videl, you could so switch into my art period. I’m sure they would be able to teach you. I mean, you’re right handed anyway, right? You only need one hand to paint.” She was smiling enthusiastically.
I bit my lip. “Would they take me? I mean, I’d probably have to start over at a beginner’s course. I used to do it in seventh and eighth grade.”
“What can you do? If you’re good enough, they might take you anyways.”
I pulled out my notebook I had been drawing in, I bit my lip again before I opened it. “Don’t laugh.” I was always really protective of my drawings. It was a pencil drawing of a rose, half weathered, one of my favorite things to draw. Jan’s eyes glossed over as she studied it. “Videl, this is…good.” Maybe I had been too severe on myself.
“You think so?” I said, squinting to study her face. She was serious, looking me dead in the eye.
“Yeah, Videl. You know what? I bet I can sneak you into the studio with you after school and we can have you try a few different painting styles, you know, a portfolio, and then you can show the art director. I bet she’d let you in.”
“Really?” I said, not bothering to mask my hopefulness.
“Dude, yes!” She nodded. I allowed myself a grin, while inside the small hidden part of me was cheering excitedly, ready to prove herself.
[center*
I sat outside in the grass of the courtyard under the tree at lunch, my legs in shorts exposed and soaking in the sunshine. It felt amazing on my skin, and Jan laughed, looking at my high top vans. She peeled one back a little to reveal my tan line.
“Damn! You ever wear anything besides those vans?” I shook my head. “Nope.”
Suddenly, I heard the telltale rattling and Andy and Bob came up to where Jan, Allie and I were sitting in the grass; they had been gone most of the lunch period, went out to the van to ‘move stuff around’. “I hope you’re ready for tonight.” Andy said, flopping onto the grass and rubbing his hands excitedly. When I looked questioningly at him, he looked at Jan. “You didn’t tell her?”
Jan turned to me. “I forgot. There’s a party tomorrow, Bob’s cousin’s house. Andy here has a gig.”
“You’re in a band?”
“Andy is actually in like 15 bands. He’s a bit of a bandwhore.” Andy smiled sheepishly at Jan’s description and lay back in the grass.
“Let me guess.” I said with a smile I was trying to suppress. “Drums.”
“How’d you know?” Andy sat up.
I paused, chewing my burger. “Ain’t it obvious, you look just like Animal*.
They all cracked up, Andy fell back in the grass, rolling around and chuckling.
“He does!” Jan laughed, leaning over and high-fiving me, laughing her gritty laugh. “We’re calling him Animal from now on. You have to see him going behind the kit, cause that’s exactly what he looks like.”
“It’s gonna be the tits. Can you sneak out?” Andy said, sitting up.
“Hell yes.” I said, feeling genuinely excited. I had been feeling so bland every day the moment I left the metal-pounding van, hiding in my room most of the time, waiting for Maryann to pounce me with her self-righteousness and ‘do you know Jesus’ superiority. It hadn’t happened yet, but things were too quiet in the house.
I needed to distract myself.
*
The last period of the day had been on my mind even after school when I walked with Jan after school to the art studio. The art director had already left for the day. “I’m gonna talk to her, get on her good side, and get that key, so you can come in with me after school.” Jan assured me. “Don’t worry.”
I wasn't worried about that, at least I found myself thinking about the kid in my guitar class. He had been out of all the classes so far this week, and I was getting more interested in the strange itinerary the boy in the trucker hat kept.
When we got into the van after school it was apparent what Bob and Andy had been doing, Andy’s drum kit was all loaded into the backseat. Apparently Andy’s mom and him had worked out a compromise, that Andy would keep his drum kit at Bob’s over the summer and give her peace and she would put up with his practicing the rest of the year.
They let me out at my house and I went up to the door, unlocking it with the key Maryann had given me. It was nice having my own key to a house; I had never owned a key before. The homes I had stayed in before had never even trusted a foster kid to be in the house alone, let alone have a key to come in and out as they pleased. Even though that wasn’t entirely true. I knew Maryann would be home at 5, she was working on charity raisers for her job, and her husband, Mark was bowling. They also had Natalie's little brother, Joshua, who went to the same private school Addie did. They wouldn’t be home til about 5:30. So I had a couple hours to kill until they came home.
I found myself walking down the street, before I realized it I was headed towards the very same park where my life was supposedly changed. It was the weirdest feeling, not knowing your own self. Treating yourself like a stranger. I honestly didn’t know what to do in my own brain these days, so I just did whatever the hell I pleased. I’ve always been an impulsive person. Even as a child I remember thinking if I wanted something, I got it. When my mom had given me up, and I went to live in the orphanage, I don’t think I cared at all. It was what I had wanted. To be far away from her, so she would stop looking at me like I was the root of her problems.
I refocused on the playground in front of me, barren and empty. The park was empty, no one but myself and the breeze rustling the trees. I suddenly made out a silhouette of a small figure sitting on the bench, and I stopped in my tracks. The little boy with black hair looked up.
“Lady!”
Before I could remember to breathe, he came hurtling at me and attached himself to my leg. I threw my arms out for balance and when I'd managed to steady both me and the little thing clinging to me, I looked down.
The kid’s huge hazel eyes were staring back up at me.
"You came back!" He squealed, burying his little face in the faded denim of my jeans. "You came back!"
I closed my eyes and counted to three. I didn't even get past one, so I opened again and rolled them at the top of his head. "Who are you kid?”
He didn’t say anything so I hesitated. “Hey kid, where’s your parents? What’re you doing out here all alone?”
He looked up then, his eyes swimming in tears.
“I don’t have a mommy. She went away.”
I immediately felt uncomfortable, and sorry. “Uh, I’m sorry kid. But I don’t know you,” I said softly.
“Yes you do,” he said, his lip quivering. “You saved me from Shredder. And you don’t remember.” He buried his head in my leg again.
My mouth fell open. It was the fucking kid, of all the people I could meet. I instantly felt a huge knot coil in my stomach, and my first reaction was to run. The situation was now officially weird. I sighed and composed myself, shifted my weight to my other foot and tried to raise my leg a few feet into the air. Hayden gasped and clenched tighter as he went up, little fingernails digging into my calf.
"Now are you gonna let go?"
Hayden struggled to keep his legs wrapped around mine. "...No."
I shook my leg. Nothing fazed him.
"I'm not letting go..." He insisted. Then, he started to slide sideways off my leg, his face falling into surprise as he swung around and under. "I don't want you to leave."
The knot in my stomach just got an upgrade, and is now a deep pit of guilt.
Now he was clutching the underside of my leg.
"Kid, you don't know when to give up."
"Will you come to my house now?" said Hayden's muffled voice from the underside of my leg.
"Will you let go of me?"
Hayden started giggling a little from his awkward position. "Deal."
*
He lied.
You can't tell me a five year old doesn't know how to lie. They're all born with it, and they'll keep it till they're six feet under.
Did I mention it’s hard to walk with one leg thirty pounds heavier than the other? Especially when said leg won't
shutup.
"-and I'm five and I'm kindergarten but I almost wasn't cuz I'm a latey, my birthday is soon, but, well that's what my brother calls them since I was borned after the day kindergarten starts, so I'm going next year in the falltime but I don't like falltime, how come falltime is too cold and I have nasal problems and the air is full of this stuff which makes you sneeze and when you sneeze its not fun, it hurts my nose, did you know I have freckles on my nose? I gots one...two...seventy-thirty...twelve..."
Don't ask me how he was able to count without being able to see them, and I wasn't about to spend the day teaching him that seventy-thirty does not come after '2'. Either way, I was sweating heavily in my hoodie, not having anticipated having 30 pounds attached to my leg, and his incessant chattering didn’t give me any room to think.
When we finally got to his house, Hayden refused to let me go until he showed me his Ninja turtles. Therefore, I clomped up the front porch stairs with my strange growth and Hayden instructed me to open the door, like he was a miniature Napoleon and I was his faithful white steed.
I was little more than nervous about going into someone else's house with a five year old for backup, but I couldn't just leave.
I didn't intend to walk off with somebody else's small child on my leg.
Especially not one that I had apparently throw myself in front of a car for two weeks earlier.
The house was quiet and dark when I stepped inside. There was a set of stairs off to the right and a dining room. On the other side was a hall and a bathroom. Hayden didn't hesitate; he commanded me down the linoleum tiled hall and into what appeared to be a living room.
It looked just like my house, only smaller.
"Kid, is anyone here?"
Hayden shook his head. “My brother and my Daddy’s was supposed to be watching me, but I don't know where he went.”
“They leave you by yourself?” I said, feeling now more concerned than ridiculous. And when I'm worried, I usually let it out in an angry manner.
The kid was quiet, so I decided not to press it for now. I could chew whoever it was out when someone decided to come take care of this kid.
“Will you let go of me now?” I said tiredly. It seemed there were some things the kid just didn't respond to.
The kid finally loosened his grip around my leg and looked up at me again. “I didn’t want you to leave again. Last time, you almost di-di-“
“Died?”
His eyes clouded up at this and he looked down. He was so short and tiny I immediately bent and put my arms around his shoulders, which began to shake. I held him tightly.
“Hey, kid. Calm down. Don’t cry. I'm alright, I just, bumped my head really hard. And I can’t remember some things, but that’s okay. I'm not going anywhere.” He stopped hiccupping and looked at me again. “Can I show you my ninja turtles now? My mommy gave them to me.”
I sighed and patted his back. I wasn’t about to leave him, even if I had no idea what I was doing in this strange house. “I can’t stay, just until someone comes back to watch you.”
Hayden frowned, looking up with tears in his eyes. “My mommy left me, and she didn’t come back. So you have to come back.”
“Okay,” I answered; anything to calm him down.
He held out his tiny pinky finger. “Promise?”
I held out mine and looped it in his. “Promise.”
That’s when I heard the front door open and close, and I froze.
*
AUTHOR"S NOTE: I am now activley posting on Mibba, here is the link:
http://www.mibba.com/Stories/Info/521107/The-Car-Crash-Hearts/
Honestly though, I prefer it; there is a real sense of community, something this place has not seen in a long time. Mibba is the best site I've been on for writing. If you would like to see more updates, please don't be a silent reader; give me feedback, reviews, etc. I love it! Thanks guys
xoxo Videl aka Sabrina
An unofficial island of misfit toys, and I belonged. So, school suddenly felt less impending. The next two days came and went and I found myself getting up each morning with a sense of comfort, knowing that I would ride to school with Andy and Jan, Andy would be playing either Metallica, Iron Maiden, or Judas Priest at eardrum bursting decibels, but I wouldn’t care. Jan would be chatting about her latest venture of justice and equality of animal rights, occasionally yelling for Andy to turn it down so she wouldn’t lose her voice screaming over the music, we weren’t at a metalfest, although she wished we were, which made me laugh. Allie would be talking about the gossip for the day and smoking a cigarette, which I was 90 percent sure she did to look cool. Bob, if he was there, would be sleeping, and if he woke up he would ask where we were going. Bob was not a morning person.
Sure enough, when they pulled up outside and Andy honked his horn, I left the house and walked down the drive. Usually, Addie was gone far before I even made it outside, so I locked the house as usual and made my way to the curb. When I opened the van door, that’s exactly what happened, and I could only grin as we greeted each other, and its not fake, its just seeing people who genuinely make you happy.
I went through my day as usual, my classes seemed easy and I was grateful for that. There was a lot of homework I was being assigned, but I knew I would do fine. I mostly ignored the few kids that stared at me. There were hardly any, not like yesterday. But things in high school change quickly, and after the second day they had forgotten about me. I reminded myself it was better like that, although I was secretly hoping that my reputation would have kids leave me alone. It was better if guys thought I would sooner beat their face in then hit on me with meaningless persistence and cheesy lines.
I know what most boys want, and I’m not interested. I had a boyfriend in my sophomore year of high school. His name was Elliot, and we mostly made out in his van parked outside the mall during school. He made me come dangerously close to failing my sophomore year, he was always convincing me to sneak off with him. He told me he loved me, and he always wanted to be near me. Then, after prom, he made it perfectly clear what he was after. When I wouldn’t do it with him, he made up lies and told the whole school that I was cheating on him, I was a slut who couldn’t keep her legs closed, he even tried to get me to take off my clothes and secretly get pictures, which I’m sure he would have used to slander my name further. It was then I learned my lesson about men; they are all after one thing. I had so many absences at the end of the school year I was only a few more missed days from failing, and my grades had dropped considerably. I pulled myself together and passed by the skin of my teeth. I only allowed myself to have friends from then on. Relationships beyond, there was too much at stake.
When theatre came around I met Jan as usual on outside her art history classroom and walked to the classroom with her. I was always envious when she would talk about art. I wondered to myself why I hadn’t taken it. That’s right, the previous me had made the decision to take guitar. Judging by the fact that I had decided to take a first semester guitar, I hadn’t been planning to make much of my life with music. Or I had been scared of my dreams. At the present moment, it was looking like the universe, having broken my arm and giving me amnesia, and oh, that’s right, my guitar was stolen (all in the same day), I wasn’t fated to be involved with music.
Either way, I found myself thinking more and more about it. As attendance was taken, I suddenly remembered that Patrick had told me he was in theatre. I hadn’t actually seen him since Monday, it was weird. He hadn’t been in guitar class either. The teacher, Mrs. Schumann, called his name but he was apparently not in class.
“Do you know a kid named Patrick? Short, wears glasses? He’s got these ridiculous sideburns. He’s in my guitar class too.”
Jan frowned as she thought, twirling her nose piercing. “Yeah I know him. He was in a few plays last year, but he didn’t have a major role. He’s super quiet, he hardly says a thing. I think he’s probably in this class.” She looked around as well and shrugged. “Why, you have a thing for him?” she said with a teasing smirk.
“No,” I said quickly, feeling my face get hot. I wasn’t sure why I should be blushing. “He just told me he had theatre, and he’s not here. Oh well, it’s not a big deal.”
I quickly changed the subject and I told Jan that I had been missing doing art regularly, and she instantly brightened. If there’s one thing Jan loves more than anything it’s backing a dying cause.
“Videl, you could so switch into my art period. I’m sure they would be able to teach you. I mean, you’re right handed anyway, right? You only need one hand to paint.” She was smiling enthusiastically.
I bit my lip. “Would they take me? I mean, I’d probably have to start over at a beginner’s course. I used to do it in seventh and eighth grade.”
“What can you do? If you’re good enough, they might take you anyways.”
I pulled out my notebook I had been drawing in, I bit my lip again before I opened it. “Don’t laugh.” I was always really protective of my drawings. It was a pencil drawing of a rose, half weathered, one of my favorite things to draw. Jan’s eyes glossed over as she studied it. “Videl, this is…good.” Maybe I had been too severe on myself.
“You think so?” I said, squinting to study her face. She was serious, looking me dead in the eye.
“Yeah, Videl. You know what? I bet I can sneak you into the studio with you after school and we can have you try a few different painting styles, you know, a portfolio, and then you can show the art director. I bet she’d let you in.”
“Really?” I said, not bothering to mask my hopefulness.
“Dude, yes!” She nodded. I allowed myself a grin, while inside the small hidden part of me was cheering excitedly, ready to prove herself.
[center*
I sat outside in the grass of the courtyard under the tree at lunch, my legs in shorts exposed and soaking in the sunshine. It felt amazing on my skin, and Jan laughed, looking at my high top vans. She peeled one back a little to reveal my tan line.
“Damn! You ever wear anything besides those vans?” I shook my head. “Nope.”
Suddenly, I heard the telltale rattling and Andy and Bob came up to where Jan, Allie and I were sitting in the grass; they had been gone most of the lunch period, went out to the van to ‘move stuff around’. “I hope you’re ready for tonight.” Andy said, flopping onto the grass and rubbing his hands excitedly. When I looked questioningly at him, he looked at Jan. “You didn’t tell her?”
Jan turned to me. “I forgot. There’s a party tomorrow, Bob’s cousin’s house. Andy here has a gig.”
“You’re in a band?”
“Andy is actually in like 15 bands. He’s a bit of a bandwhore.” Andy smiled sheepishly at Jan’s description and lay back in the grass.
“Let me guess.” I said with a smile I was trying to suppress. “Drums.”
“How’d you know?” Andy sat up.
I paused, chewing my burger. “Ain’t it obvious, you look just like Animal*.
They all cracked up, Andy fell back in the grass, rolling around and chuckling.
“He does!” Jan laughed, leaning over and high-fiving me, laughing her gritty laugh. “We’re calling him Animal from now on. You have to see him going behind the kit, cause that’s exactly what he looks like.”
“It’s gonna be the tits. Can you sneak out?” Andy said, sitting up.
“Hell yes.” I said, feeling genuinely excited. I had been feeling so bland every day the moment I left the metal-pounding van, hiding in my room most of the time, waiting for Maryann to pounce me with her self-righteousness and ‘do you know Jesus’ superiority. It hadn’t happened yet, but things were too quiet in the house.
I needed to distract myself.
*
The last period of the day had been on my mind even after school when I walked with Jan after school to the art studio. The art director had already left for the day. “I’m gonna talk to her, get on her good side, and get that key, so you can come in with me after school.” Jan assured me. “Don’t worry.”
I wasn't worried about that, at least I found myself thinking about the kid in my guitar class. He had been out of all the classes so far this week, and I was getting more interested in the strange itinerary the boy in the trucker hat kept.
When we got into the van after school it was apparent what Bob and Andy had been doing, Andy’s drum kit was all loaded into the backseat. Apparently Andy’s mom and him had worked out a compromise, that Andy would keep his drum kit at Bob’s over the summer and give her peace and she would put up with his practicing the rest of the year.
They let me out at my house and I went up to the door, unlocking it with the key Maryann had given me. It was nice having my own key to a house; I had never owned a key before. The homes I had stayed in before had never even trusted a foster kid to be in the house alone, let alone have a key to come in and out as they pleased. Even though that wasn’t entirely true. I knew Maryann would be home at 5, she was working on charity raisers for her job, and her husband, Mark was bowling. They also had Natalie's little brother, Joshua, who went to the same private school Addie did. They wouldn’t be home til about 5:30. So I had a couple hours to kill until they came home.
I found myself walking down the street, before I realized it I was headed towards the very same park where my life was supposedly changed. It was the weirdest feeling, not knowing your own self. Treating yourself like a stranger. I honestly didn’t know what to do in my own brain these days, so I just did whatever the hell I pleased. I’ve always been an impulsive person. Even as a child I remember thinking if I wanted something, I got it. When my mom had given me up, and I went to live in the orphanage, I don’t think I cared at all. It was what I had wanted. To be far away from her, so she would stop looking at me like I was the root of her problems.
I refocused on the playground in front of me, barren and empty. The park was empty, no one but myself and the breeze rustling the trees. I suddenly made out a silhouette of a small figure sitting on the bench, and I stopped in my tracks. The little boy with black hair looked up.
“Lady!”
Before I could remember to breathe, he came hurtling at me and attached himself to my leg. I threw my arms out for balance and when I'd managed to steady both me and the little thing clinging to me, I looked down.
The kid’s huge hazel eyes were staring back up at me.
"You came back!" He squealed, burying his little face in the faded denim of my jeans. "You came back!"
I closed my eyes and counted to three. I didn't even get past one, so I opened again and rolled them at the top of his head. "Who are you kid?”
He didn’t say anything so I hesitated. “Hey kid, where’s your parents? What’re you doing out here all alone?”
He looked up then, his eyes swimming in tears.
“I don’t have a mommy. She went away.”
I immediately felt uncomfortable, and sorry. “Uh, I’m sorry kid. But I don’t know you,” I said softly.
“Yes you do,” he said, his lip quivering. “You saved me from Shredder. And you don’t remember.” He buried his head in my leg again.
My mouth fell open. It was the fucking kid, of all the people I could meet. I instantly felt a huge knot coil in my stomach, and my first reaction was to run. The situation was now officially weird. I sighed and composed myself, shifted my weight to my other foot and tried to raise my leg a few feet into the air. Hayden gasped and clenched tighter as he went up, little fingernails digging into my calf.
"Now are you gonna let go?"
Hayden struggled to keep his legs wrapped around mine. "...No."
I shook my leg. Nothing fazed him.
"I'm not letting go..." He insisted. Then, he started to slide sideways off my leg, his face falling into surprise as he swung around and under. "I don't want you to leave."
The knot in my stomach just got an upgrade, and is now a deep pit of guilt.
Now he was clutching the underside of my leg.
"Kid, you don't know when to give up."
"Will you come to my house now?" said Hayden's muffled voice from the underside of my leg.
"Will you let go of me?"
Hayden started giggling a little from his awkward position. "Deal."
*
He lied.
You can't tell me a five year old doesn't know how to lie. They're all born with it, and they'll keep it till they're six feet under.
Did I mention it’s hard to walk with one leg thirty pounds heavier than the other? Especially when said leg won't
shutup.
"-and I'm five and I'm kindergarten but I almost wasn't cuz I'm a latey, my birthday is soon, but, well that's what my brother calls them since I was borned after the day kindergarten starts, so I'm going next year in the falltime but I don't like falltime, how come falltime is too cold and I have nasal problems and the air is full of this stuff which makes you sneeze and when you sneeze its not fun, it hurts my nose, did you know I have freckles on my nose? I gots one...two...seventy-thirty...twelve..."
Don't ask me how he was able to count without being able to see them, and I wasn't about to spend the day teaching him that seventy-thirty does not come after '2'. Either way, I was sweating heavily in my hoodie, not having anticipated having 30 pounds attached to my leg, and his incessant chattering didn’t give me any room to think.
When we finally got to his house, Hayden refused to let me go until he showed me his Ninja turtles. Therefore, I clomped up the front porch stairs with my strange growth and Hayden instructed me to open the door, like he was a miniature Napoleon and I was his faithful white steed.
I was little more than nervous about going into someone else's house with a five year old for backup, but I couldn't just leave.
I didn't intend to walk off with somebody else's small child on my leg.
Especially not one that I had apparently throw myself in front of a car for two weeks earlier.
The house was quiet and dark when I stepped inside. There was a set of stairs off to the right and a dining room. On the other side was a hall and a bathroom. Hayden didn't hesitate; he commanded me down the linoleum tiled hall and into what appeared to be a living room.
It looked just like my house, only smaller.
"Kid, is anyone here?"
Hayden shook his head. “My brother and my Daddy’s was supposed to be watching me, but I don't know where he went.”
“They leave you by yourself?” I said, feeling now more concerned than ridiculous. And when I'm worried, I usually let it out in an angry manner.
The kid was quiet, so I decided not to press it for now. I could chew whoever it was out when someone decided to come take care of this kid.
“Will you let go of me now?” I said tiredly. It seemed there were some things the kid just didn't respond to.
The kid finally loosened his grip around my leg and looked up at me again. “I didn’t want you to leave again. Last time, you almost di-di-“
“Died?”
His eyes clouded up at this and he looked down. He was so short and tiny I immediately bent and put my arms around his shoulders, which began to shake. I held him tightly.
“Hey, kid. Calm down. Don’t cry. I'm alright, I just, bumped my head really hard. And I can’t remember some things, but that’s okay. I'm not going anywhere.” He stopped hiccupping and looked at me again. “Can I show you my ninja turtles now? My mommy gave them to me.”
I sighed and patted his back. I wasn’t about to leave him, even if I had no idea what I was doing in this strange house. “I can’t stay, just until someone comes back to watch you.”
Hayden frowned, looking up with tears in his eyes. “My mommy left me, and she didn’t come back. So you have to come back.”
“Okay,” I answered; anything to calm him down.
He held out his tiny pinky finger. “Promise?”
I held out mine and looped it in his. “Promise.”
That’s when I heard the front door open and close, and I froze.
*
AUTHOR"S NOTE: I am now activley posting on Mibba, here is the link:
http://www.mibba.com/Stories/Info/521107/The-Car-Crash-Hearts/
Honestly though, I prefer it; there is a real sense of community, something this place has not seen in a long time. Mibba is the best site I've been on for writing. If you would like to see more updates, please don't be a silent reader; give me feedback, reviews, etc. I love it! Thanks guys
xoxo Videl aka Sabrina
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