Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Lost and lonely
Your Voice Is My Security Blanket
0 reviews"Don't you breathe for me undeserving of your sympathy"
0Unrated
I sat in the kitchen area of my motel room, phone book on the table, pen in hand, staring at the funeral directors page..
When I got back to the bus I grabbed my bag and got a taxi to the nearest motel. I needed some peace and quite and although I love Ally and the guys, they wouldn’t give me that. They would be asking questions and wanting to help but I need to do this by myself. I was the only one who knew my mother, new her likes and dislikes and although she was an addict she was still a person. A living human being with a big heart. She just got consumed by her misery and couldn’t help herself or me.
I got up and made a coffee, I knew Ally and the guys would be worried but I just needed to get away from them and think. They can be a little to much sometimes but it’s only because they care. Sometimes I think they care to much for there own good. I grabbed my coffee and sat back down. I scanned the pages but nothing looked good or was cheap enough. The prices where Crazy just for a coffin. I pushed the book away and threw my head down onto the table, I needed help. There was no way I could do this on my own. I have never organised a funeral before in my life. I used to think it would be a piece of cake, but until you are actually faced with the task of doing it, You have no idea.
‘Slit wrist theory’ blastred through the room making me jump. I picked up my phone and answered without even looking at the screen. “Hello?”
“Cassie, Baby where are you?” Gerard’s sweet voice rang through my ears. My hands trembled as I tried to keep myself together. Just hearing his voice is enough to throw me into the state of a basket case.
“I’m at the little motel we passed by on our way in this morning. I just needed time to myself. I’ve been staring at the fucking phone book for the past 2 hours trying to figure out which funeral directors to call. I cant do it on my own. I thought I could. But I can’t” I signed and slouched back in the chair. Tears rolled freely down my cheek’s
“Do you want me to come and help baby?” His voice was so soft and caring it broke my heart even more, Ally had told me a few weeks ago that Gerard went through a rough time when his grandmother passed. He doesn’t drink anymore though, he was strong enough to clean himself up and move to the future.
“Please, I-I just need you to come down here.”
“I’m leaving now, what room you at?”
“13”
“On my way baby, put the door on the latch and go lay down ok?”
“ok.. Gee nobody else, just you. Please” I hung up and put the door on the latch like he asked. Wiping my eyes I crawled onto the bed and berried my face into the pillow. I was so tired. I use to wonder why one minute people would be full of energy, then they are told someone close to them has passed away and then they just look exhausted. But now I know, its mentally and physically draining.
I knew Gerard would be here in a few minutes but I was to tired to keep my eyes open. Within seconds I was out, My dreams filled with memories of my momma.
Il mio angelo custode
It's super short i know but when you have a one year old crawling all over you trying to get your attention it's hard to write anything longer before he starts screaming and wakes up Mr. Grumpy Guts!
Please R&R and i will try get another chapter up soon. before this time next week i promise. it's just hard at the moment to write and upload when Josh is around and Jacob is Ill
[*love ya'll
When I got back to the bus I grabbed my bag and got a taxi to the nearest motel. I needed some peace and quite and although I love Ally and the guys, they wouldn’t give me that. They would be asking questions and wanting to help but I need to do this by myself. I was the only one who knew my mother, new her likes and dislikes and although she was an addict she was still a person. A living human being with a big heart. She just got consumed by her misery and couldn’t help herself or me.
I got up and made a coffee, I knew Ally and the guys would be worried but I just needed to get away from them and think. They can be a little to much sometimes but it’s only because they care. Sometimes I think they care to much for there own good. I grabbed my coffee and sat back down. I scanned the pages but nothing looked good or was cheap enough. The prices where Crazy just for a coffin. I pushed the book away and threw my head down onto the table, I needed help. There was no way I could do this on my own. I have never organised a funeral before in my life. I used to think it would be a piece of cake, but until you are actually faced with the task of doing it, You have no idea.
‘Slit wrist theory’ blastred through the room making me jump. I picked up my phone and answered without even looking at the screen. “Hello?”
“Cassie, Baby where are you?” Gerard’s sweet voice rang through my ears. My hands trembled as I tried to keep myself together. Just hearing his voice is enough to throw me into the state of a basket case.
“I’m at the little motel we passed by on our way in this morning. I just needed time to myself. I’ve been staring at the fucking phone book for the past 2 hours trying to figure out which funeral directors to call. I cant do it on my own. I thought I could. But I can’t” I signed and slouched back in the chair. Tears rolled freely down my cheek’s
“Do you want me to come and help baby?” His voice was so soft and caring it broke my heart even more, Ally had told me a few weeks ago that Gerard went through a rough time when his grandmother passed. He doesn’t drink anymore though, he was strong enough to clean himself up and move to the future.
“Please, I-I just need you to come down here.”
“I’m leaving now, what room you at?”
“13”
“On my way baby, put the door on the latch and go lay down ok?”
“ok.. Gee nobody else, just you. Please” I hung up and put the door on the latch like he asked. Wiping my eyes I crawled onto the bed and berried my face into the pillow. I was so tired. I use to wonder why one minute people would be full of energy, then they are told someone close to them has passed away and then they just look exhausted. But now I know, its mentally and physically draining.
I knew Gerard would be here in a few minutes but I was to tired to keep my eyes open. Within seconds I was out, My dreams filled with memories of my momma.
Il mio angelo custode
It's super short i know but when you have a one year old crawling all over you trying to get your attention it's hard to write anything longer before he starts screaming and wakes up Mr. Grumpy Guts!
Please R&R and i will try get another chapter up soon. before this time next week i promise. it's just hard at the moment to write and upload when Josh is around and Jacob is Ill
[*love ya'll
Sign up to rate and review this story