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Joels p.o.v

I'm walking home, and my head is spinning. Reign just gave me her diary to read, which seems kind of extreme. What could be so bad that she can't tell me herself? I see my house coming into view and I pick up my pace. I hope Benji covered for me. Do I even tell Benji what happened tonight? Do I tell him that I've got her diary?
I walk in through the kitchen entrance and make my quickly to the stairs. The house is quiet and dark, which means that everyone's already retired for the night.
I climb the stairs quickly and make my way to my room. I open the door and walk in, the lamps on and Benji's sitting on his bed looking through a magazine.
'Dude where have you been?' He asks in a hushed voice putting the magazine down.
'I was with Reign, we were talking and stuff.' I whisper taking off my jacket and trainers.
'ooh so you and Reign huh?' he says lying flat on his bed.
'There's no ooh about it bro, we were just talking.' I say sitting on down on my bed.
'Sure you were, and I'm an only child.' He replies sarcastically before switching his lamp off and turning over to face the wall.
I finish undressing, and grab Reign's diary. I switch my lamp on and get comfortable. I open the first page and begin to read.

Dear Diary, June 6th 1995
I've never written one of these before so I'm not sure how to go about it. What I do know is that my life seems to be turning upside down and I'm not sure how to stop it. A few weeks ago my dad died in a car accident. I've never felt so alone. He was everything to me, my mum and I have never really been that close I was daddy's girl and that suited me fine. Ever since then all my mum seems to do is drink. I get it, she's grieving but I'm grieving too and all she does is ignore me. Not once has she said a comforting word to me. I hope things get better. I'm going to be positive and see what happens.
I miss my daddy so badly, there are no words to describe the pain I feel.

Dear Diary June 15th '95
School sucks!! I was made to see the guidance canceller today; I didn't have much to say. I don't want to speak to anyone. I just want to be left alone.
When I got home from school earlier, mum was passed out on the kitchen table again. I'm getting used to seeing her like that. It felt good to just leave her there, I have no sympathy for her. Today went by really fast Celina (best friend) asked me to come over, I told her I didn't want to. I really don't feel like hanging out with anyone I really want to be on my own.
I'm going now, I'm starting to get pissed off just writing. 'night.

Dear Diary June 20th '95
Celina is avoiding me maybe it's cause I've been avoiding her. I called her twice yesterday and again before I started writing this. That's cool. I don't want to be around her anyway. I'm fine by myself. I had a huge argument with my mum before school this morning we seem to clash a lot. She wanted to know why the house was messed up. I had to remind her that in her drunken state she tends to be a bit piggish and messy. And that in her sober state she tends to forget her antics of the night before. Well obviously she didn't appreciate being told she's forgetful and piggish in the same sentence. She started screaming and shouting the usual, which goes along the lines of her telling me that she never wanted me and how I'm a burden blah blah blah, well you get the picture. Well I don't need that shit in the morning so I just left her to it and went to school. When I came home she wasn't here, which is fine by me, I don't think I'd be too distressed if she never came home.

Dear Diary June 30th '95
I'm crying as I'm writing this. I just had a huge argument with my mother. She got so angry that she hit me. She's never hit me before and it hurts like hell. My cheek is all bruised and sore. I'm glad it's Friday night it gives it time to heal before school on Monday. I'm not sure how I feel about life right now I think I'm actually numb. I'm not happy but I'm not sad, I'm existing but not living. Weird huh? I going to go and put some ice on my cheek, with any luck my mum would've passed out by now. Later xx

Dear Diary July 6th '95
13.50pm

Today is my 15th birthday, and no I haven't celebrated. I don't think anyone's even remembered.
I spent most of the morning buying make up to hide my bruises. My mum seems to be hitting me frequently nowadays. I don't do anything I just take it. I don't really feel anything anymore I'm really numb. The teachers have noticed that I'm "withdrawn", and they noticed the bruises. I told them I had a couple of fights and that it was nothing.
My mum asked me to come home early today, for the last couple of nights I've been coming home around midnight, as to avoid her. I got to go coz she's calling me. Speak to you later.

1.00am July 7th '95
Hey diary,
Wassup, Imma not sure if you can tell but I'm just a litle drunk. My mother gave me a surprise surprise for my birfday. It was a man. But not a man for me, nope not for me, a man for her. His name is Bo, I mean what kind of name is Bo, dat's sumting dat you tie ribbon into. Lol. Of course I told her taht her dating is bullshit so soon afta the death of her husband. She told me that we have to moooooveeee on and "get over it". Well you know wat I told her, I told her taht she was a dirrty tramp and a whore. She tuk it quiet well actually, she only hit me once, but it sent me crashing into the table and now my ribs are hurty and my head is bleeding a litle. Hey Dairy I'm having trouble writin dis so im gonna going coz I keeps spilling my drink and dats not cool. So long and goodnight.

I stopped reading. I didn't realize but my heart is beating quite fast. I looked at my alarm clock it was 2.00am. I had to get some sleep but I didn't want to stop reading. Reign had it pretty hard and by the way things are going it don't look like it going to get better. No wonder why she didn't want to talk about it, her life sucks.
I forced myself to stop reading I get up and put the diary in my bag, I'd carry on reading tomorrow.
I switched off my bedside lamp and fell asleep to the sound of Benji breathing.