FicWad

It's been awhile since I've been here.
Each memory that is passed, the all come flooding back.
Now I look in the place you used to stand,
But the spot is empty.
So am I.

I've been left here alone.
To run through the woods,
Letting time pass me by.
But as the day goes by I remember that you were here last year.

The leaves fall and I trudge through the mud.
With people that don't even care.
I know your probably one of those people,
But I long to think differently.

The silence of the woods,
Strikes me in the evening.
As the sun is set by now.
All I can hear are my strangled breath,
Waiting for the seeker to find me.
I can see the trees surrounding and hear the leaves crunch beneath my heaving body.
I tip toe to hide my presence,
Thinking they can hear me.
But they're looking away, the flashlight pointed towards the dark woods.
Bodies hidden behind the trees,
Everyone aiming at the same target.
Some take the risk and run,
While I stay hidden in the dark.
The time has stopped and I blocked out the noise.

All I can see,
All I can hear,
Is my strangled breath.

But as the crackling of the fire brings me back to reality,
I'm sat around with everyone else.
As they share stories and play games,
I play with the fire waiting for it to burn the branch I stole from the trees.
The smell of the smoke finds itself sticking to my sweater.
Clinging on for dear life.
But my dear,
Just last year you sat by the fire with me here.

The night comes to an end,
We all decide to climb in bed.
Turn off the lights,
Turn on the fans to keep from falling into an awkward silence.
But as I hear the beds squeak at any sudden movement,
The heater try and come alive.
I can only lay awake hearing the deep breathing from everyone in the room.
Getting a sound night sleep, dreaming.
While I can only look out the window and see the dark, fearing.

When the morning comes,
I drag myself off the bed.
Getting ready for the day ahead.
Just last year you were still here.
Seeing the people I call my friends,
I can only think how little they know.
But I come aware,
Nobody knows everything about me.

How I need the music to keep me alive,
Even though I drag myself through the pointless days.
Spitting out lie after lie after lie.
How the woods make me feel distance from the real world,
How the loneliness buries me everyday,
But somehow I manage to keep a smile on my face.
How I wish I had you with me,
Sleeping across from me as you were last year.
No one knows,
How I think.
How I feel.
How I really am.
My favorite color.
My favorite animal.
My thoughts.

Now the heater has turned off.
The silence has flooded back.
Besides my strangled breathe.