Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > The Secret is Out
There was a slight knock on the Lab’s door and then a shy head looming up from the door, disrupting the intimate moment Jared was having. It was Shannon.
“May I?” the drummer asked shyly. Jared just nodded. “I’ve been looking for you all day.” Shannon said, coming closer from behind to where Jared was sitting. And as soon as he steadied himself behind his baby brother, he knew where he had been all that time.
Pictures of Jared and Audrey flooded the screen of the computer, tons of them. Jared didn’t even bother to switch tabs to cover that he was doing: reliving his past and with it, torturing himself. To his left there was a bottle of some alcoholic drink, which more than half of it was gone, the emerald liquid shone in the dim light.
“You’ve found me.” Jared said absentmindedly, his voice raspy from the liquor.
Shannon couldn’t help feel sorry for his baby brother. He knew how much he had loved that girl, or at least he imagined. He had given up to so many things for her in hopes she would notice his sacrifice and end the stupid game they had started. He hoped she would tell him she loved him, too, that she had grown fond of him, but it never happened. She did end the game they started, by going away from him. Forever. And that tore him apart. Since then he hadn’t been the same. It seemed like life had been sucked out of him when she walked out the door. The beaming blue eyes were long gone, they had lost their glint, the spark that let everybody know how happy he was, how alive he felt. Now, Jared wasn’t the one sitting at the computer. No one knew who Jared was anymore, not even Jared himself. And Shannon didn’t know what to do to get his baby brother back.
“Dude,” he said, bringing a chair over to where his brother was. He sat on it. “She’s gone. And she is not coming back. You need to stop this torture. It’s killing you.”
Jared puffed and let out a low, sad laughter, shrugging. “I’m used to it.” Dry tears were covering his cheeks and voice. He sounded tired and drunk.
Shannon unplugged the computer when he saw Jared’s eyes still staring at the pictures, not even once bringing his attention to the drummer.
“What the fuck, man?” Jared snapped and yelled at his brother.
“You must stop. You have to move on, Jared. She didn’t care about you, she didn’t love you. You have to forget about her.” Shannon’s words hurt Jared deep inside his soul. He still wanted to believe she had loved him. The tears she had shed the night she left had to mean something, didn’t they?
Hurt, the blue eyes decided to take it out on his brother. “What do you know?” He yelled. “You’ve never been in a serious relationship; it’s all sex and games to you. You’ve never been in love; you’ve never loved someone but yourself. Don’t fucking come here and try to give me a lecture, Shannon. You, among all people, are the least indicated one to lecture me.”
It was true. Shannon hadn’t had a serious relationship in a while now, but it didn’t mean he didn’t know of love. There were people whom he loved more than he loved himself and among them was Jared.
The younger brother took the nearly empty bottle and brought it to his lips, but before it could make contact with them, Shannon took it away from his hands violently. It fell to the floor, crashing loudly against the tiles. The shatters scattered all over the floor and the liquid splashed in all directions. And it maddened Jared even more.
“Look at what you fucking did!” he yelled, standing up dramatically from his seat to avoid getting dirty or cut. “You’ve made a fucking mess, asshole!” He spat mercilessly at his brother.
Shannon didn’t even flinch. He knew Jared wasn’t in his five senses and he knew how hurt he was. He understood him; he really did, even though Jared thought he understood nothing at all.
Jared headed towards the door, stumbling upon everything on his way.
“Jared...” Shannon called when his brother found the doorknob.
“Leave me the fuck alone.” He said and got out of the Lab, slamming the door shut on his way out.
Shannon let out a loud, frustrated sigh as he raked his fingers through his long hair. He closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose a bit with his thumb and forefinger in an attempt to ease the thumping ache in his head.
Jared worried him; he worried him more that he would ever want to. He had tried to stay out of it because he thought Jared would have been able to get himself out of this depression, but he hadn’t. He had sunk in his feeling and broken memories even more for that matter. And to Shannon, it didn’t seem like Jared wanted to actually get out of there. He seemed determined to rot in this new sort of life he had claimed he was used to. Shannon couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t just stand by and watch him slowly slip into this abyss without doing anything. The thing is he didn’t know what to do, what to say to get his baby brother out of this. He just hoped and prayed wholeheartedly to whatever higher being was out there that Jared would find a way out of this sick life he had built, and soon.
“May I?” the drummer asked shyly. Jared just nodded. “I’ve been looking for you all day.” Shannon said, coming closer from behind to where Jared was sitting. And as soon as he steadied himself behind his baby brother, he knew where he had been all that time.
Pictures of Jared and Audrey flooded the screen of the computer, tons of them. Jared didn’t even bother to switch tabs to cover that he was doing: reliving his past and with it, torturing himself. To his left there was a bottle of some alcoholic drink, which more than half of it was gone, the emerald liquid shone in the dim light.
“You’ve found me.” Jared said absentmindedly, his voice raspy from the liquor.
Shannon couldn’t help feel sorry for his baby brother. He knew how much he had loved that girl, or at least he imagined. He had given up to so many things for her in hopes she would notice his sacrifice and end the stupid game they had started. He hoped she would tell him she loved him, too, that she had grown fond of him, but it never happened. She did end the game they started, by going away from him. Forever. And that tore him apart. Since then he hadn’t been the same. It seemed like life had been sucked out of him when she walked out the door. The beaming blue eyes were long gone, they had lost their glint, the spark that let everybody know how happy he was, how alive he felt. Now, Jared wasn’t the one sitting at the computer. No one knew who Jared was anymore, not even Jared himself. And Shannon didn’t know what to do to get his baby brother back.
“Dude,” he said, bringing a chair over to where his brother was. He sat on it. “She’s gone. And she is not coming back. You need to stop this torture. It’s killing you.”
Jared puffed and let out a low, sad laughter, shrugging. “I’m used to it.” Dry tears were covering his cheeks and voice. He sounded tired and drunk.
Shannon unplugged the computer when he saw Jared’s eyes still staring at the pictures, not even once bringing his attention to the drummer.
“What the fuck, man?” Jared snapped and yelled at his brother.
“You must stop. You have to move on, Jared. She didn’t care about you, she didn’t love you. You have to forget about her.” Shannon’s words hurt Jared deep inside his soul. He still wanted to believe she had loved him. The tears she had shed the night she left had to mean something, didn’t they?
Hurt, the blue eyes decided to take it out on his brother. “What do you know?” He yelled. “You’ve never been in a serious relationship; it’s all sex and games to you. You’ve never been in love; you’ve never loved someone but yourself. Don’t fucking come here and try to give me a lecture, Shannon. You, among all people, are the least indicated one to lecture me.”
It was true. Shannon hadn’t had a serious relationship in a while now, but it didn’t mean he didn’t know of love. There were people whom he loved more than he loved himself and among them was Jared.
The younger brother took the nearly empty bottle and brought it to his lips, but before it could make contact with them, Shannon took it away from his hands violently. It fell to the floor, crashing loudly against the tiles. The shatters scattered all over the floor and the liquid splashed in all directions. And it maddened Jared even more.
“Look at what you fucking did!” he yelled, standing up dramatically from his seat to avoid getting dirty or cut. “You’ve made a fucking mess, asshole!” He spat mercilessly at his brother.
Shannon didn’t even flinch. He knew Jared wasn’t in his five senses and he knew how hurt he was. He understood him; he really did, even though Jared thought he understood nothing at all.
Jared headed towards the door, stumbling upon everything on his way.
“Jared...” Shannon called when his brother found the doorknob.
“Leave me the fuck alone.” He said and got out of the Lab, slamming the door shut on his way out.
Shannon let out a loud, frustrated sigh as he raked his fingers through his long hair. He closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose a bit with his thumb and forefinger in an attempt to ease the thumping ache in his head.
Jared worried him; he worried him more that he would ever want to. He had tried to stay out of it because he thought Jared would have been able to get himself out of this depression, but he hadn’t. He had sunk in his feeling and broken memories even more for that matter. And to Shannon, it didn’t seem like Jared wanted to actually get out of there. He seemed determined to rot in this new sort of life he had claimed he was used to. Shannon couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t just stand by and watch him slowly slip into this abyss without doing anything. The thing is he didn’t know what to do, what to say to get his baby brother out of this. He just hoped and prayed wholeheartedly to whatever higher being was out there that Jared would find a way out of this sick life he had built, and soon.
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