Categories > Original > Romance > Kiss Me
A/N: I feel so unloved! Was my last chapter that bad?? I thought it was good enough LOL Anyway, reviews?? Pretty please! I need to know if I'm losing you guys!
“So, what do you wanna do?” Hayden asks as we get into the car after breakfast. The weather’s so nice, but I’m tired. I feel like cuddling up in my bed with Hayden’s arms around me.
“I’m tired.” I blink at him. He smiles.
“Home it is.” He grabs my hand and kisses it. He holds it as we drive back to my place. There, he walks me to the door. “Alright then. I’ll call you.” He says and kisses me.
“Wait, where are you going?” I ask.
“To my house…?” He furrows his brows.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because you’re tired. You should sleep peacefully.”
“But I wanted to cuddle.” I pout. Realization crashes on his face. He chuckles softly. “Are you still leaving?”
“No.” He shakes his head.
“Good.” I take his hand and we go to my bedroom. There, I open my blinds and let the sunshine in. I grab my quilt and lay it on the floor in the sunshine. I put in a mix into my stereo and out comes “Below my Feet” by Mumford and Sons. I grab a pillow. “Come on.” I wave Hayden over. He grins, removes his shoes and cap, and lays down. I put the pillow down and let him lay on it. I snuggle up next to him and rest my head on his chest. I hum in appreciation. He gingerly wraps one arm around me while the other is under his head. “Thank you for breakfast.” I mumble as I close my eyes.
“No problem.” He whispers. “Now, go to sleep.” I nod and let my mind drift.
When I wake up, Hayden is lightly snoring beneath me. I blink and let my eyes adjust to the sunset that’s beaming into my room. Just then, Elio bursts in. Hayden jolts awake and looks up at Elio, who’s looming over us. “Dinner’s ready.” He says. “And Ma said Hayden can stay.”
“Want dinner?” I ask. He nods. I just get up, followed by Hayden, and grab a plate of lasagna with a side salad. Hayden grabs us two Cokes and we head back to my room. We sit on the blanket and I turn on my 30” flat screen. We eat and watch the Big Bang Theory. I laugh as I get the smart jokes, while Hayden laughs at all the dirty jokes. I shake my head at him. He winks at me. I just smirk and we finish our dinner. “Want more?” I sip my Coke.
“Yeah, but I’ll get it.” He stands. “More?” I just shake my head. “Plate.” I hand him my empty plate and he leaves. He comes back with another plateful of lasagna and salad. And another Coke. How can he eat so much?
After dinner, Hayden has to leave. We kiss goodbye and he promises to come by tomorrow morning before work. Which reminds me, I need to call McDonald’s and get my hours back. I go into my room once Hayden is gone and start cleaning up our mess. Then I see he forgot his cap. I’m pretty sure he’s already gone by now. And he’s coming back tomorrow. He can get it then. I pick it up and smell it. It smells of sweat, cologne, and Hayden. I smile. Then I get an idea. I decide to have a little fun.
My parents have already gone to bed, but I know Elio’s still up. So, I lock my door and strip down to my lacey undergarments. I put on Hayden’s cap backwards, like he does, and stand in front of my full length mirror. There, I adjust myself so that no major bruises can be seen, then I take a picture. But it looks ugly. I take a couple more and find one I like. I’m kneeling, my butt on my heels. I’m smiling and have my chest puffed out just a little. I type a quick message: Forgot your hat, handsome ;) and send. I dress and wait for his response.
Thanks for reminding so formally, baby ;)
I smile at his response.
You’re very welcome, babe ;)
I like your winky faces
I like you
LOL & I love you
(kisses!)
I love your kisses ;)
Swoon!
I love it when you hug me tight…
I would, but I can’t. Got an early shift & practice tomorrow. So, goodnight, Sky. (kiss)
I forgot he signed up for summer hockey.
Goodnight, Hayden (kiss)
And with that, I go to sleep a happier girl.
When I wake, it’s eight. I call in and see if I can get my shifts back, or at least rack up some hours at work, but it seems they’ve laid me off. “Alright. Thanks, Christy.” I sigh.
“I’m so sorry, honey. But I’m sure you’ll find a better job soon. Good luck. And take care.” Christy, my shift leader, says. I thank her again and hang up.
“Fuck.” I throw myself onto my bed, but wince as my ribs smart. I grumble. Could I be any more miserable? Just then, my head starts to throb, and after a while it starts to pound. Reminder, never ask that question ever again.
I get up and take my pain killers. I’m getting a bottle of water from the fridge when my dad comes out of his room dressed for work. He notices me. “What are you doing?” He asks.
“Taking my drugs.” I frown and down two pain killers with chilling water.
“Be careful with those, mija. Don’t wanna overdose on that shit.” He warns. When I don’t answer he asks, “What’s wrong?”
“I got laid off.” I shut the fridge, keeping my water bottle in hand.
“You can get better.” He walks over to the door and grabs his keys from the hook. “Alright, I’m going to work.”
“Bye.” I mutter.
“Remember,” his words stop me as I’m heading back to my room, “’the word of the day is job. J-O-B. Job.’” He quotes the movie Friday. I smile. He winks at me and then leaves. I shake my head and go back to sleep.
It’s noon when I wake again. And the only reason I’m awake is because Elio’s vacuuming. He opens my door and comes in. I grumble and pull my pillow over my face. The vacuum stops. “Get up, lazy ass. Ma said you need to do the laundry and the dishes.” He says with a kick of my mattress. My mom is crazy! I rip the pillow off my face and sit up. Ignoring my ribs.
“Does she not get that we were just in a car accident?”
Elio shrugs.
“Just do it, dude. Then we can go out somewhere.” He suggests. I sigh, but get out of bed. I start on the laundry and load the dishwasher. I hand wash all the dirty pots and pans since they don’t fit in the washer. I start the machine and I’m done. I wipe the counters and pick up the living room. Straightening the couch cushions and the coffee table. Damn, it’s hot in here. The sun is coming through the windows and sliding glass doors. We need the AC installed ASAP.
“Ready?” Elio asks.
“Let me get dressed.” I jog to my room and put on some capris, a muscle shirt, my sneakers, and Hayden’s hat. I grab my wallet, phone, and car keys. Yay! I finally get to drive my Jeep!
Elio hobbles in. I start the car. I smile as it roars to life. “Where we going?” I ask as I put it in reverse and back out.
“Let’s go get some DQ. It’s hot out.” Elio says. I nod and go down Mill Plain to a packed Dairy Queen. “Damn.” Elio whines.
“Don’t be such a baby. Come on.” I park and we get inside. Outside is too hot to sit in the drive thru line for half an hour.
Inside is cool, but there’s really no place to sit. There are people crowded near the soda machines waiting for their orders. “Next!” Yells the cashier. He looks tired. Elio and I look around, but no one’s going. We just shrug and order some blizzards. Elio pays.
It doesn’t take long for them to make two medium blizzards, so we’re out in the sun in a couple of minutes. Which is good. It was too crowded in there.
From DQ, I drive us to the park. It’s quiet. We sit on the swings and finish our blizzards. “So, are you gonna be able to play soccer after that heals up?” I dare ask Elio.
“Doc said it’ll be fine. I just have to keep up with my physical therapy after. But other than that I’ll be good to go for another season.” He grins at the good news. “What about you? Are you gonna be able to draw and paint better?” He smirks. I glare at him.
“I don’t know. Hopefully.” I finish my M&M blizzard.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Elio nods. “Have you heard from PNCA yet?”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “What about you? Decided where you wanna go?”
“Yeah. But I know you won’t like it.” He looks down at the rocks. His blizzard long gone.
“It can’t be that bad. PCC I can deal with.” I smirk, but see he’s not laughing. I furrow my brows. I don’t ask, but instead wait for Elio to say it.
“I’ve been talking with Dad. For a month now.” He starts to play with his fingers, and look everywhere but me. He’s nervous. Elio, just tell me! “And I’ve decided I’m going to enlist.” My heart stops.
“Enlist where?” I breathe.
“You know where.” He keeps playing with his fingers. Fuck! Elio is going to the army? He can’t! What if something happens over there? Fuck that! What if something happens during training? Guys get killed by accidents while training!
“Elio,” I start, but can’t find the words to express my concern and shock.
“I know, Cielo. But I’m not good at anything else. And yeah, I love soccer, but I don’t wanna play soccer for the rest of my life.”
“Yes you are! You’re good at….” I try and think of something. “Math.”
“I barely passed math.”
Damn it!
“Face it, Cielo. I really have no other options. And I don’t wanna work at Jiffy Lube forever either.” He sighs.
“But Elio,” I begin to tear up.
“No buts, Cielo. I already enlisted anyway. Ma doesn’t know yet. But Dad went with me and he says that if I feel that this is what I need to do, then I should do it.” He says. “And it does feel like something I need to do. With the army I can travel, pick up new skills, get college money.”
“But it’s not like we don’t have enough money for college, Elio. I know you’ve saved up plenty. And so have I. And so have Mom and Dad. Tia can help you out.” I try to convince him otherwise. But I see in his eyes that he’s already made his decision. Without me.
“That’s not the point, Cielo!” He’s getting frustrated. “The point is, I don’t know what else to do! I graduated a super senior.”
“But at least you graduated.” I chip in.
“But that’s not good enough.” He finally looks at me. His eyes show fear. And love. “Cielo, I know it’ll be hard, but just understand that I feel like I need to do this. I don’t know exactly why, but there really is nothing else I wanna do. I’ve considered going to college. Going and getting another job. But nothing appeals to me.” His eyes bore into mine. “I feel like if I keep at what I’m doing I’m going to stay here forever. I won’t ever get to see Germany, or Spain. I’ll never get to meet new people. I’ll just be stuck here.
Living day by day. Paycheck to paycheck.” I let one tear fall and wipe it away instantly. “I talked to the recruiters at school and they’ve helped me decide. Fighting for your luxury to sit here and not worry about being bombed or attacked. I’m doing this for us. I’m fighting for you and for Ma, and for Dad. I’m fighting for your future, Cielo. Because that’s what a big brother does.” He puts a hand over mine. “I know I’ll be gone a lot, and we won’t get to talk as much, but you can send me letters. I can call and Skype. I will still be here for you. I’ll just be farther away and harder to reach.” He chuckles a little. I smirk. “I will be here.” He tightens his hold on my hand.
“Just promise me you’ll come back alive, okay?” I say.
“I promise.” He says just for my reassurance. Because I know this is a promise no one can really make. “You are important to me. I want you to go to college and find an awesome art job. I want you to be happy with what you have, and will have. Because of me, you will be free to do whatever you want, because you can. Because we’re making the sacrifice for you.” He’s already sounding like a proud soldier. I can’t help but smile a little. I love my brother. He is the best man I know. Even though I am not entirely happy with his decision, I know he’ll find himself out in the world somewhere. I understand that he has to take this journey so that he can grow. I just wished you could have grown with me. Here. But just because I want it to be so, doesn’t mean it can be.
We head back home after a long crying session. “When are you planning on telling Mom?” I ask once we’re inside.
“Sometime this week. I leave next month for camp. So, it has to be this week.” He says. I just nod. “Don’t overthink this, Cielo. Everything will be okay.” Elio hugs me. I hug him back with all of my might.
“I just don’t want to lose you.” I mumble into his shoulder.
“You won’t.” He reassures me. He kisses my hair and releases me. I smile at him and I go to my room. I’m taking off my shoes when my phone rings. A text from Hayden.
Just got off work. I’m heading to practice.
OK. Have fun : )
will do ;)
I don’t reply. I’m sure he’ll call later.
Hayden eventually does call later and I agree to meet him at his house. When I get there, I break down. Again. He holds me close and tells me that Elio is just doing what he thinks is right. I calm down and Hayden wipes at my tear stained face.
“You just need a little faith. He’ll be back before you know it.” Hayden smiles at me. I nod. “Now, stop crying.” Hayden kisses my lips softly. He runs his thumb over my bottom lip. “I love you. And so does Elio.”
“I know.” I blush and wipe the snot from my nose.
At home, I hear my mom crying on the couch. Elio’s hugging her and my dad is sitting in his recliner. Watching. I’m assuming he told her. I join them and kiss my mom’s head. Elio pulls me into their hug. But I don’t cry. I’ve done enough of that. I just hold them. Then, my mom stops. She wipes her nose. “Que Dios lo vendiga, hijo.” She caresses his face while uttering the words of his blessing. “Te quiero.” She kisses his cheeks.
“Go to sleep, Ama.” He tells her. She nods. My dad stands. He gives Elio a pat on the shoulder before he follows Mom to their bedroom. Elio lets out a relieved sigh. I go to sit next to him.
“That was the hardest thing I’ve had to do.” He runs a hand through his dark hair. Soon his hair will be gone. Shaved into a buzz cut.
“The next will be pulling a trigger.” I murmur.
“Don’t be like that.” He says. I sigh.
“Sorry.” I mutter.
“Just don’t think negatively about this. It’s bad juju.” He smirks. I giggle.
“Dully noted.” I say.
“So, what did Hayden say about this?”
“Nothing much. Just that you’ll be back and I need faith.” I smile. “And I need to stop crying.” I giggle.
“Well, he took some part in helping me decide. He was the first person I went to when I even vaguely considered the army.” Elio says.
“Wait, what?” I ask. My brows furrowed. Hayden didn’t tell me that.
“Yeah.” Elio nods. “He told me to do some more research so that way I know everything and that this is what I really want.” Elio gives me a suspicious look. “He didn’t tell you, did he?”
I just shake my head. Elio sighs.
“Cielo, I’m sorry. I thought you knew. But, don’t be mad at him. He was just trying to help.”
“How can I not be mad at him? He didn’t tell me anything about this.”
“Well, I told him not to tell anybody. I didn’t want you guys to try and convince me to stay. I needed to make this decision for me. Without the family.” Elio tries to defend him.
“But I’m his girlfriend! And your sister! How can he not tell me?” I stand. I’m so heated right now!
“Because I told him not to! I needed to tell you guys myself! Not him!” Elio stands too.
“Well, I don’t care! He’s been keeping stuff from me! I mean, what else is he keeping from me?” I ask. More to myself than anyone else.
“Don’t overthink this, Cielo.” Elio warns. I just glare at him and stomp to my room.
Hayden! Damn him! He didn’t tell me about customizing my pieces, he wasn’t going to tell me about Bailey being at his guy weekend, and he didn’t tell me about Elio! Not even hinting at it! I slam my door and start ripping off my clothes. Attempting to get ready for bed. Then, my phone rings. Walk the Moon. I just ignore it.
It eventually stops ringing, but then it rings again! I pick up this time. “You piece of shit! Don’t call me, don’t text me! Don’t even talk to me! Not that you do anyway!” I shout and hang up. After that, he doesn’t call. Good!
I go to bed angry. But I don’t sleep. I’m too mad! I just run around in my head. Chasing my thoughts. Soon, I get a headache. I’m tired. Weathered down by my anger. I shut my eyes and let the darkness creep around me. And soon, my anger is forgotten. For a little while.
When I wake, Hayden is sitting on my bean bag chair. Watching me. The sunshine comes through my parted blinds. I sit up. “What do you want?” I ask.
“Why are you mad at me?” He cocks his head to one side. “I mean, I call to say good night but you don’t pick up at first. Then, when you do, you yell at me. The reason is one I can’t find. So, why are you mad at me?” He asks again. My anger from last night bubbles to the surface.
“I’m mad because you never seem to tell me important things.” I say.
“And what things are you talking about?” He asks rather calmly.
“Like Elio enlisting.”
He sighs. “I didn’t tell you because he told me not to.”
“And it’s bros over hos, right?” I quip.
“No.”
“Okay, then, why didn’t you tell me you were framing my art in your room? Lauren told me.” I bring up graduation.
“It slipped my mind. I figured you were gonna see them sooner or later.” He argues.
“Did it slip your mind when Bailey went to your guys weekend?” I quip, but instantly regret it. Hayden just opens and closes his mouth. “I mean, you weren’t going to tell me about that.” I continue. “You’ve been withholding information from me. We have no real communication in this relationship.”
“You don’t always tell me things.”
“But those things are feelings. I can’t verbalize feelings. You know that. But you’re hiding events from me. Not feelings. I told you about Trevor. Even at the beginning of our relationship I’ve been telling you things. That time he wouldn’t stop calling and texting me. I told you. I even showed you the messages! Yes, I didn’t immediately tell you when we had a moment in the backyard at that party, but I admitted then and there that he touched me. Why can’t you do that same?” My hurt feelings show. Yes, I am hurt that Hayden doesn’t tell me things.
After a moment or two, Hayden still doesn’t say anything. I get up and get ready to shower. I’m headed out when Hayden stands and stops me. His hand on my arm. “Sky,” He searches my eyes. “I’m sorry. The only reason I don’t tell you is because I find something else to tell you. Something more important. Like, I love you.” I melt. How can he always do this to me? In that instant, I forgive him. “But I realize that I should start trying to communicate more with you.”
“And I’ll start trying not to be so mad at you for protecting a friend.” I smirk, referring to Elio.
“Good.” He smiles and kisses me passionately. Morning breath and all.
I pull back when a thought crosses my mind. “How did you get in?” I ask.
“Elio let me in. I called him last night about you. I had to come see for myself. Just to make sure you were that pissed at me.” He chuckles a little.
“Well, I was. So mad I wanted to kick your skinny, white boy ass.” I tease.
“You like my skinny, white boy ass.” He smiles. I blush.
“Well, it is mighty fine.” I grab his behind and squeeze a little. He blushes this time. “And as much as I’d love to keep touching you, I need to shower.” I peck his lips.
“Fine. I’ll wait.”
“So, what do you wanna do?” Hayden asks as we get into the car after breakfast. The weather’s so nice, but I’m tired. I feel like cuddling up in my bed with Hayden’s arms around me.
“I’m tired.” I blink at him. He smiles.
“Home it is.” He grabs my hand and kisses it. He holds it as we drive back to my place. There, he walks me to the door. “Alright then. I’ll call you.” He says and kisses me.
“Wait, where are you going?” I ask.
“To my house…?” He furrows his brows.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because you’re tired. You should sleep peacefully.”
“But I wanted to cuddle.” I pout. Realization crashes on his face. He chuckles softly. “Are you still leaving?”
“No.” He shakes his head.
“Good.” I take his hand and we go to my bedroom. There, I open my blinds and let the sunshine in. I grab my quilt and lay it on the floor in the sunshine. I put in a mix into my stereo and out comes “Below my Feet” by Mumford and Sons. I grab a pillow. “Come on.” I wave Hayden over. He grins, removes his shoes and cap, and lays down. I put the pillow down and let him lay on it. I snuggle up next to him and rest my head on his chest. I hum in appreciation. He gingerly wraps one arm around me while the other is under his head. “Thank you for breakfast.” I mumble as I close my eyes.
“No problem.” He whispers. “Now, go to sleep.” I nod and let my mind drift.
When I wake up, Hayden is lightly snoring beneath me. I blink and let my eyes adjust to the sunset that’s beaming into my room. Just then, Elio bursts in. Hayden jolts awake and looks up at Elio, who’s looming over us. “Dinner’s ready.” He says. “And Ma said Hayden can stay.”
“Want dinner?” I ask. He nods. I just get up, followed by Hayden, and grab a plate of lasagna with a side salad. Hayden grabs us two Cokes and we head back to my room. We sit on the blanket and I turn on my 30” flat screen. We eat and watch the Big Bang Theory. I laugh as I get the smart jokes, while Hayden laughs at all the dirty jokes. I shake my head at him. He winks at me. I just smirk and we finish our dinner. “Want more?” I sip my Coke.
“Yeah, but I’ll get it.” He stands. “More?” I just shake my head. “Plate.” I hand him my empty plate and he leaves. He comes back with another plateful of lasagna and salad. And another Coke. How can he eat so much?
After dinner, Hayden has to leave. We kiss goodbye and he promises to come by tomorrow morning before work. Which reminds me, I need to call McDonald’s and get my hours back. I go into my room once Hayden is gone and start cleaning up our mess. Then I see he forgot his cap. I’m pretty sure he’s already gone by now. And he’s coming back tomorrow. He can get it then. I pick it up and smell it. It smells of sweat, cologne, and Hayden. I smile. Then I get an idea. I decide to have a little fun.
My parents have already gone to bed, but I know Elio’s still up. So, I lock my door and strip down to my lacey undergarments. I put on Hayden’s cap backwards, like he does, and stand in front of my full length mirror. There, I adjust myself so that no major bruises can be seen, then I take a picture. But it looks ugly. I take a couple more and find one I like. I’m kneeling, my butt on my heels. I’m smiling and have my chest puffed out just a little. I type a quick message: Forgot your hat, handsome ;) and send. I dress and wait for his response.
Thanks for reminding so formally, baby ;)
I smile at his response.
You’re very welcome, babe ;)
I like your winky faces
I like you
LOL & I love you
(kisses!)
I love your kisses ;)
Swoon!
I love it when you hug me tight…
I would, but I can’t. Got an early shift & practice tomorrow. So, goodnight, Sky. (kiss)
I forgot he signed up for summer hockey.
Goodnight, Hayden (kiss)
And with that, I go to sleep a happier girl.
When I wake, it’s eight. I call in and see if I can get my shifts back, or at least rack up some hours at work, but it seems they’ve laid me off. “Alright. Thanks, Christy.” I sigh.
“I’m so sorry, honey. But I’m sure you’ll find a better job soon. Good luck. And take care.” Christy, my shift leader, says. I thank her again and hang up.
“Fuck.” I throw myself onto my bed, but wince as my ribs smart. I grumble. Could I be any more miserable? Just then, my head starts to throb, and after a while it starts to pound. Reminder, never ask that question ever again.
I get up and take my pain killers. I’m getting a bottle of water from the fridge when my dad comes out of his room dressed for work. He notices me. “What are you doing?” He asks.
“Taking my drugs.” I frown and down two pain killers with chilling water.
“Be careful with those, mija. Don’t wanna overdose on that shit.” He warns. When I don’t answer he asks, “What’s wrong?”
“I got laid off.” I shut the fridge, keeping my water bottle in hand.
“You can get better.” He walks over to the door and grabs his keys from the hook. “Alright, I’m going to work.”
“Bye.” I mutter.
“Remember,” his words stop me as I’m heading back to my room, “’the word of the day is job. J-O-B. Job.’” He quotes the movie Friday. I smile. He winks at me and then leaves. I shake my head and go back to sleep.
It’s noon when I wake again. And the only reason I’m awake is because Elio’s vacuuming. He opens my door and comes in. I grumble and pull my pillow over my face. The vacuum stops. “Get up, lazy ass. Ma said you need to do the laundry and the dishes.” He says with a kick of my mattress. My mom is crazy! I rip the pillow off my face and sit up. Ignoring my ribs.
“Does she not get that we were just in a car accident?”
Elio shrugs.
“Just do it, dude. Then we can go out somewhere.” He suggests. I sigh, but get out of bed. I start on the laundry and load the dishwasher. I hand wash all the dirty pots and pans since they don’t fit in the washer. I start the machine and I’m done. I wipe the counters and pick up the living room. Straightening the couch cushions and the coffee table. Damn, it’s hot in here. The sun is coming through the windows and sliding glass doors. We need the AC installed ASAP.
“Ready?” Elio asks.
“Let me get dressed.” I jog to my room and put on some capris, a muscle shirt, my sneakers, and Hayden’s hat. I grab my wallet, phone, and car keys. Yay! I finally get to drive my Jeep!
Elio hobbles in. I start the car. I smile as it roars to life. “Where we going?” I ask as I put it in reverse and back out.
“Let’s go get some DQ. It’s hot out.” Elio says. I nod and go down Mill Plain to a packed Dairy Queen. “Damn.” Elio whines.
“Don’t be such a baby. Come on.” I park and we get inside. Outside is too hot to sit in the drive thru line for half an hour.
Inside is cool, but there’s really no place to sit. There are people crowded near the soda machines waiting for their orders. “Next!” Yells the cashier. He looks tired. Elio and I look around, but no one’s going. We just shrug and order some blizzards. Elio pays.
It doesn’t take long for them to make two medium blizzards, so we’re out in the sun in a couple of minutes. Which is good. It was too crowded in there.
From DQ, I drive us to the park. It’s quiet. We sit on the swings and finish our blizzards. “So, are you gonna be able to play soccer after that heals up?” I dare ask Elio.
“Doc said it’ll be fine. I just have to keep up with my physical therapy after. But other than that I’ll be good to go for another season.” He grins at the good news. “What about you? Are you gonna be able to draw and paint better?” He smirks. I glare at him.
“I don’t know. Hopefully.” I finish my M&M blizzard.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Elio nods. “Have you heard from PNCA yet?”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “What about you? Decided where you wanna go?”
“Yeah. But I know you won’t like it.” He looks down at the rocks. His blizzard long gone.
“It can’t be that bad. PCC I can deal with.” I smirk, but see he’s not laughing. I furrow my brows. I don’t ask, but instead wait for Elio to say it.
“I’ve been talking with Dad. For a month now.” He starts to play with his fingers, and look everywhere but me. He’s nervous. Elio, just tell me! “And I’ve decided I’m going to enlist.” My heart stops.
“Enlist where?” I breathe.
“You know where.” He keeps playing with his fingers. Fuck! Elio is going to the army? He can’t! What if something happens over there? Fuck that! What if something happens during training? Guys get killed by accidents while training!
“Elio,” I start, but can’t find the words to express my concern and shock.
“I know, Cielo. But I’m not good at anything else. And yeah, I love soccer, but I don’t wanna play soccer for the rest of my life.”
“Yes you are! You’re good at….” I try and think of something. “Math.”
“I barely passed math.”
Damn it!
“Face it, Cielo. I really have no other options. And I don’t wanna work at Jiffy Lube forever either.” He sighs.
“But Elio,” I begin to tear up.
“No buts, Cielo. I already enlisted anyway. Ma doesn’t know yet. But Dad went with me and he says that if I feel that this is what I need to do, then I should do it.” He says. “And it does feel like something I need to do. With the army I can travel, pick up new skills, get college money.”
“But it’s not like we don’t have enough money for college, Elio. I know you’ve saved up plenty. And so have I. And so have Mom and Dad. Tia can help you out.” I try to convince him otherwise. But I see in his eyes that he’s already made his decision. Without me.
“That’s not the point, Cielo!” He’s getting frustrated. “The point is, I don’t know what else to do! I graduated a super senior.”
“But at least you graduated.” I chip in.
“But that’s not good enough.” He finally looks at me. His eyes show fear. And love. “Cielo, I know it’ll be hard, but just understand that I feel like I need to do this. I don’t know exactly why, but there really is nothing else I wanna do. I’ve considered going to college. Going and getting another job. But nothing appeals to me.” His eyes bore into mine. “I feel like if I keep at what I’m doing I’m going to stay here forever. I won’t ever get to see Germany, or Spain. I’ll never get to meet new people. I’ll just be stuck here.
Living day by day. Paycheck to paycheck.” I let one tear fall and wipe it away instantly. “I talked to the recruiters at school and they’ve helped me decide. Fighting for your luxury to sit here and not worry about being bombed or attacked. I’m doing this for us. I’m fighting for you and for Ma, and for Dad. I’m fighting for your future, Cielo. Because that’s what a big brother does.” He puts a hand over mine. “I know I’ll be gone a lot, and we won’t get to talk as much, but you can send me letters. I can call and Skype. I will still be here for you. I’ll just be farther away and harder to reach.” He chuckles a little. I smirk. “I will be here.” He tightens his hold on my hand.
“Just promise me you’ll come back alive, okay?” I say.
“I promise.” He says just for my reassurance. Because I know this is a promise no one can really make. “You are important to me. I want you to go to college and find an awesome art job. I want you to be happy with what you have, and will have. Because of me, you will be free to do whatever you want, because you can. Because we’re making the sacrifice for you.” He’s already sounding like a proud soldier. I can’t help but smile a little. I love my brother. He is the best man I know. Even though I am not entirely happy with his decision, I know he’ll find himself out in the world somewhere. I understand that he has to take this journey so that he can grow. I just wished you could have grown with me. Here. But just because I want it to be so, doesn’t mean it can be.
We head back home after a long crying session. “When are you planning on telling Mom?” I ask once we’re inside.
“Sometime this week. I leave next month for camp. So, it has to be this week.” He says. I just nod. “Don’t overthink this, Cielo. Everything will be okay.” Elio hugs me. I hug him back with all of my might.
“I just don’t want to lose you.” I mumble into his shoulder.
“You won’t.” He reassures me. He kisses my hair and releases me. I smile at him and I go to my room. I’m taking off my shoes when my phone rings. A text from Hayden.
Just got off work. I’m heading to practice.
OK. Have fun : )
will do ;)
I don’t reply. I’m sure he’ll call later.
Hayden eventually does call later and I agree to meet him at his house. When I get there, I break down. Again. He holds me close and tells me that Elio is just doing what he thinks is right. I calm down and Hayden wipes at my tear stained face.
“You just need a little faith. He’ll be back before you know it.” Hayden smiles at me. I nod. “Now, stop crying.” Hayden kisses my lips softly. He runs his thumb over my bottom lip. “I love you. And so does Elio.”
“I know.” I blush and wipe the snot from my nose.
At home, I hear my mom crying on the couch. Elio’s hugging her and my dad is sitting in his recliner. Watching. I’m assuming he told her. I join them and kiss my mom’s head. Elio pulls me into their hug. But I don’t cry. I’ve done enough of that. I just hold them. Then, my mom stops. She wipes her nose. “Que Dios lo vendiga, hijo.” She caresses his face while uttering the words of his blessing. “Te quiero.” She kisses his cheeks.
“Go to sleep, Ama.” He tells her. She nods. My dad stands. He gives Elio a pat on the shoulder before he follows Mom to their bedroom. Elio lets out a relieved sigh. I go to sit next to him.
“That was the hardest thing I’ve had to do.” He runs a hand through his dark hair. Soon his hair will be gone. Shaved into a buzz cut.
“The next will be pulling a trigger.” I murmur.
“Don’t be like that.” He says. I sigh.
“Sorry.” I mutter.
“Just don’t think negatively about this. It’s bad juju.” He smirks. I giggle.
“Dully noted.” I say.
“So, what did Hayden say about this?”
“Nothing much. Just that you’ll be back and I need faith.” I smile. “And I need to stop crying.” I giggle.
“Well, he took some part in helping me decide. He was the first person I went to when I even vaguely considered the army.” Elio says.
“Wait, what?” I ask. My brows furrowed. Hayden didn’t tell me that.
“Yeah.” Elio nods. “He told me to do some more research so that way I know everything and that this is what I really want.” Elio gives me a suspicious look. “He didn’t tell you, did he?”
I just shake my head. Elio sighs.
“Cielo, I’m sorry. I thought you knew. But, don’t be mad at him. He was just trying to help.”
“How can I not be mad at him? He didn’t tell me anything about this.”
“Well, I told him not to tell anybody. I didn’t want you guys to try and convince me to stay. I needed to make this decision for me. Without the family.” Elio tries to defend him.
“But I’m his girlfriend! And your sister! How can he not tell me?” I stand. I’m so heated right now!
“Because I told him not to! I needed to tell you guys myself! Not him!” Elio stands too.
“Well, I don’t care! He’s been keeping stuff from me! I mean, what else is he keeping from me?” I ask. More to myself than anyone else.
“Don’t overthink this, Cielo.” Elio warns. I just glare at him and stomp to my room.
Hayden! Damn him! He didn’t tell me about customizing my pieces, he wasn’t going to tell me about Bailey being at his guy weekend, and he didn’t tell me about Elio! Not even hinting at it! I slam my door and start ripping off my clothes. Attempting to get ready for bed. Then, my phone rings. Walk the Moon. I just ignore it.
It eventually stops ringing, but then it rings again! I pick up this time. “You piece of shit! Don’t call me, don’t text me! Don’t even talk to me! Not that you do anyway!” I shout and hang up. After that, he doesn’t call. Good!
I go to bed angry. But I don’t sleep. I’m too mad! I just run around in my head. Chasing my thoughts. Soon, I get a headache. I’m tired. Weathered down by my anger. I shut my eyes and let the darkness creep around me. And soon, my anger is forgotten. For a little while.
When I wake, Hayden is sitting on my bean bag chair. Watching me. The sunshine comes through my parted blinds. I sit up. “What do you want?” I ask.
“Why are you mad at me?” He cocks his head to one side. “I mean, I call to say good night but you don’t pick up at first. Then, when you do, you yell at me. The reason is one I can’t find. So, why are you mad at me?” He asks again. My anger from last night bubbles to the surface.
“I’m mad because you never seem to tell me important things.” I say.
“And what things are you talking about?” He asks rather calmly.
“Like Elio enlisting.”
He sighs. “I didn’t tell you because he told me not to.”
“And it’s bros over hos, right?” I quip.
“No.”
“Okay, then, why didn’t you tell me you were framing my art in your room? Lauren told me.” I bring up graduation.
“It slipped my mind. I figured you were gonna see them sooner or later.” He argues.
“Did it slip your mind when Bailey went to your guys weekend?” I quip, but instantly regret it. Hayden just opens and closes his mouth. “I mean, you weren’t going to tell me about that.” I continue. “You’ve been withholding information from me. We have no real communication in this relationship.”
“You don’t always tell me things.”
“But those things are feelings. I can’t verbalize feelings. You know that. But you’re hiding events from me. Not feelings. I told you about Trevor. Even at the beginning of our relationship I’ve been telling you things. That time he wouldn’t stop calling and texting me. I told you. I even showed you the messages! Yes, I didn’t immediately tell you when we had a moment in the backyard at that party, but I admitted then and there that he touched me. Why can’t you do that same?” My hurt feelings show. Yes, I am hurt that Hayden doesn’t tell me things.
After a moment or two, Hayden still doesn’t say anything. I get up and get ready to shower. I’m headed out when Hayden stands and stops me. His hand on my arm. “Sky,” He searches my eyes. “I’m sorry. The only reason I don’t tell you is because I find something else to tell you. Something more important. Like, I love you.” I melt. How can he always do this to me? In that instant, I forgive him. “But I realize that I should start trying to communicate more with you.”
“And I’ll start trying not to be so mad at you for protecting a friend.” I smirk, referring to Elio.
“Good.” He smiles and kisses me passionately. Morning breath and all.
I pull back when a thought crosses my mind. “How did you get in?” I ask.
“Elio let me in. I called him last night about you. I had to come see for myself. Just to make sure you were that pissed at me.” He chuckles a little.
“Well, I was. So mad I wanted to kick your skinny, white boy ass.” I tease.
“You like my skinny, white boy ass.” He smiles. I blush.
“Well, it is mighty fine.” I grab his behind and squeeze a little. He blushes this time. “And as much as I’d love to keep touching you, I need to shower.” I peck his lips.
“Fine. I’ll wait.”
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