FicWad

CHAPTER 9: FUTILE RESISTANCE
February 2004-August 2004
Los Angeles, California

6 months later Brian was scheduling them for gigs almost 5 days a wek, as their schedules permitted. It got hard sometimes when Seth, D and Danny all had jobs and Devin was in grad school. Yet, Brian always found a way to get what he wanted. You might say he was getting as he wished. Faithless was pretty well known now. Other bands even tried emulating them, but no one had the on stage charisma of Seth Chandler and Darcy Blackwell. Brian's head was so big now that nothing could discourage him. He was certain of their future. All he talked about was their big break. He just knew it was coming.
Each night on stage Seth and D looked to be having public foreplay, just before going home together and passionately making love until the sun comes up. The appeared as a boyfriend and girlfriend. Most who saw them assumed they were. It often came as a surprise to them when they would find Seth in a pile of girls and D seemingly uncaring. She however did care, she just couldnt let it show. She was insane with jealousy. For Seth the girls were only to compensate for not being able to have D. They knew any involvement between them could chance to jeopardize things. They didnt want to do that, not when this band had the potential to soon be paying the bills. But it just couldnt stop them from wanting one another desperately.
D found herself instantly taken in by Seth. She couldnt help but smile when he entered a room, but then, most people did. Seth was so much fun to be around. His animations and eccentric voice always made him the center of attention. He was a constant amusement to D. She always found herself watching his every move, clinging to every word and memorizing every smile. His smile literally made time stop. She even loved to watch him walk with that swaggering strut. He was hands down a lady killer. No girl could resist him, and D hated the restraint they had to show. She had seen more than her fair share of girls make complete fools of themselves over Seth. They always seemed to be falling in love with him, just after one mere interval of the night or day. She felt it too, and she hadnt even had the pleasure of sleeping with him. Seth gave these girls no reason to behave this way. He never appeared to kiss them. He never let them spend the night. He never gave them his cell phone number. D assumed he must have been great in bed, because one he got one there she always tried in vain to get back there. They seemed to become psychotically hooked afterwards. Even beyond all that he was like a mystery D wanted to solve. He never really told you anything of any importance about himself. He never mentioned life in Phoenix. He never spoke of family or made trips back home. He even dodged questions he felt were too personal.
She remembered asking him once why he always wore those tattered old wrist bands, and did he ever take them off. The smile on his face diminished instantly. D knew there had to be a story there, but it wasnt one he was going to share. He answered her question with a simple no and she could see how uncomfortable she had made him. On another occasion she was brave enough to ask him about his scars at they danced between sets, killing time. She watched as his eyes began to nervously float. She could see this too was another touchy subject. He eventually answered with "rough life, clumsy kid". She knew by his reaction there was more to it than that. That summer she had seen surgical scars on his legs. It was only then that he admitted he had been in a wreck, but gave no details. She assumed most of the scars had been from that. Seth gladly let her believe it.
On few brief occasions D found herself with the side of Seth that wasnt trying to be the center of attention. In these times she found him to not be so full of himself. Nor did he seem like such a womanizer. He could be surprisingly sweet and caring. He was protective of her. He never let her walk home alone at night. He would drop everything for her. Sometimes the attention she got from other men was too lude for his taste and he would intervene. Sometimes it caused a fight, and she had yet to see him lose one. He was so fast and calculated like he knew what the other person was going to do before they did it. She had seen him lay guys out with a single punch. He could certainly hold his own. She also noticed that he seemed to have alot of bad dreams.She had heard him mumble things like no, I's dont, go 'way, John's here, leaves me alone, I's almost done, I's hungry, Donna's home, I's aint goin back, Damon, and mama wake up. She knew he wouldnt tell her what any of it meant if she asked. Sometimes she even say him wake himself up from a dead sleep by jerking or flinching. Sometimes he would come up gasping for air. She wished she knew why but whatever was in his head most assuredly stayed there. He never shared his feelings unless they were based on having fun. Most of the time he acted as if he were standing in the spotlight. When they were alone was the only time he seemed any different. It was then that she could see a curtain dropping or a wall starting to crack. It was as if he let his gaurd down a little.

September 2004
Los Angeles, California

Faithless kept getting better and better. The music got more defined. The shows got more elaborate with lights and pyros. Seth and D pushed things further and further on stage. They began traveling outside of LA to gigs. Their popularity was growing. They were the kings of the sunset strip. Everyone wanted to buy them drinks and hang out with them. Club owners knew them by name. By now they had played them all.
Martin decided to teach Seth how to play guitar. He felt it would make more of their songs sound more dynamic if he and Brian played power chords together. Seth picked up the basics in only a week and a half. He liked playing, it made him feel more his part. He began practicing it alot. It took no time for his fingers to be one big split up bloody mess. Brian and Martin assured it was normal and that his fingertips would harden up with time.
Seth even began using the guitar to write song lyrics. He found that sometimes if he had a melody in his head it was easier to play it to them than try to hum it or sing it. After three months he had Brian and Martin's seal of approval to play on stage. He did very good and never messed up. Seth never knew he was so musically inclined.

October 12, 2004
Anaheim, California

Brian cut off the radio playing in the van as they drove to another gig. "Listen up," he said loudly so they could hear in the back, "we're gonna be real busy for the next week. Hope everybody shut off the coffee pots, fed the pets, and made sure the pilots were lit cause we arent gonna be seeing home for a bit."
No one responded. They were indifferent because performing was fun for them all. They were even starting to see a profit from it. It had already become their main source of income. Their day jobs had become only part time jobs. D was thankful for that. Brian and Devin controlled the money for the most part. Some of it had to go to things like gas, permits, up keep of their instruments, and occasionally motel rooms. The rest was split six ways. It was usually a couple hundred per gig. If they did five shows a week that was a grand in their pockets.
D scrambled around in her purse pulling out make up and applying it on one item at a time. Seth sat across from her, reclined on the window, watching her in awe with a slight grin on his lips. He was captivated by her sheer beauty. She couldnt help but feel his stare on her. She looked to see him seeming comfortable and relaxed. His eyes seemed to dance and smile more than his lips did.
"What?" she finally questioned with a shrug.
He shook his head and widened his smile, "I's aint said a thang."
"Hey!" Brian piped up eyeballing Seth in the rear view mirror, "you two quit that flirty shit back there!"
"Shut dat shit up an drives dawg," Seth yelled back. "Aint nobody even flirtin'...shit."
D continued getting ready and Seth continued watching.
"Ya dont even needs alls dat shit...why you's botha?"
"I dont know," she smiled, "to accentuate things I guess."
Seth spoke the word softly, "Accentuate..." He pondered its meaning. "You's aint needin to accentuate thangs. You's like me, pretty anyways," his smile turned smug.
D chuckled at his cockiness. Her glance was caught by his left forearm. She noticed a new tattoo. It was of a scorpion about to strike. She remembered that he had had a perfect round burn scar there. Now it was covered. "Whats with the scorpion?" she asked motioning to the new tattoo.
"Oh dat...gots it las nite. I's figgered dat since my right arm wuz...accentuated...I's might as well accentuate da otha," he smiled glancing at it.
"Why a scorpion?"
"Cuz I'sa scorpio," he spoke in a duh manner. "What is yous?"
"Pisces. What are scorpios like?"
She could hear a devious chuckle under his breath. "Scorpios is...sexual," His smile was barely there and D could see his seriousness. "theys kinda short tempa'd, forceful...determined. We's good at readin peeps. They say we's magnetic..."
"Hummm... see some of that, especially the sexually oriented part," she said cutting her eyes over at him.
His eyes twinkled in the dimness, hypnotizing and piercing her. "Da best you'sll eva get," he said trying to sound as if he were teasing, but he was serious.
"Youre such a ma whore," she smiled shaking her head.
"I's aint tryin ta be, I's swear," he said innocently.
"I believe that," D sarcastically huffed.
"I's dont," he stressed, "I caint explain it...dem girls jus go for me."
"Has it always been like this?" She asked. "Its intense. I dont see how you deal with it."
"I's use to it now," he shrugged, "...An is you's jealous D?" He playfully teased. "Is dat cuz I's get mo trim dan you...or cuz you's wants me all ta yaself?"
"Boy you think youre all that, dont you?" She smiled.
"I know I is," he spoke with a depened tone, staring at her with a dead serious look.
Her eyes locked with his. "What makes you so sure?"
The seriousness was still plastered to his face. "Finds out," he almost whispered. He knew he promised to not sleep with her, but he never agreed to not flirting. He had to get his enjoyment out of her somehow.
She nervously blushed and looked away. "No thanks Romeo." She went back to nervously digging through her purse again. She could still feel his eyes upon her. It was making her nervous but in the best kind of way.
Seth leaned over to her with a soft but deep whisper, "Yous gots mo guts dan dat D."
"Ok," she blushed even more and backed away. "Now youre flirting."
"I know what I's doin," he spoke looking at her with scrunched eyebrows and an unreadable expression.
"Hey dude!" Brian called out seeing him hover over her in the rear view, "back it up!"
"Oh!" Martin laughed as he spun around to tease him, "Back back."
Seth sighed and moved back to the window. He gave D a faint smile concentrated again mostly in his eyes. D amazed him and never got boring. Ther was something about her that he was terribly drawn to. He knew he wanted her, but he didnt know how to be anyones boyfriend. What could he ever do about all the other girls hanging on him? D needed better, yet he wanted her still. He couldnt seem to control it. He knew he was strong minded, but D had a way of finding his weak spots.

October 31, 2004
Encino, California

Tonight was Seth's 20th birthday. As usual they had a show. Tonight was Halloween so they dressed up to do their show. Seth got to wear his baggy rapper wear for a change and call it a costume. He did go a little more overboard with the gangster thug stuff and bling. D dressed as a sexy devil with red horns and a red skin tight dance leotard with a tail. Brian dressed in a suit and tie like a businessman. Danny dressed up as Frankenstein. Martin was the silliest of them all in a pink tutu and tiara. Even Devin joined in on the fun and dressed himself as a stick of dynamite. He spiked his red hair up as a flame. They had a blast.
Brian's birthday present to Seth, to them all in fact, was a motel with private rooms for them all for the night. He assumed Seth would like to get lucky for his birthday. Seth of course procured himself a girl to take back to his room. She was dressed up as some generic naughty nurse. She was wasted and Seth wasnt in much better shape. He seemed to be enjoying his birthday.
That is until he came tapping at D's door a few hours later...
D was quite shocked to see him there. "Uhhh...do you need an ice bucket or are you lost?" She asked peering at him.
"Naw," he smiled glancing at the ground. "I's kinda gots a visita I caint wake up...so she's caint leave. I's kinda bored, an my rooms othawise occupied...thought maybe you'sd be up an we's could kick it. I'sll give whats her face a few hours ta sleeps it off an sends 'er packin an crash."
"Well...whats wrong with the guys? Cant you go hang out with one of them?"
"Naw D...they's...entertainin." he smiled to her with that impeccable smile.
"Well whos to say Im not?" She questioned.
Seth cocked that damn half smile at her. "I know you's aint."
D sighed and opened the door wider to let him in. Seth casually strolled in and draped himself over the end of the bed. "So it my birthday an all...does I gets a kiss?"
"Gonna take more than a birthday," she huffed rolling her eyes.
"Hummm," he frowned, "s'a much for dat...but aint I's 'spose ta gets somethin'," he asked. He watched D nervously scurry about the room picking up things of hers and straightening them.
"You did," she answered, "shes passed out in your room and you cant get rid of her."
"Dat aint nothin special. Like I's gone rememba dat a week from now," he reclined his head on his hand.
"Well a kiss from me would probably escape your memory in half an hour," she said sitting on the bed and reclining back on the pillows. She picked up the TV remote and tried to play it cool.
"Lets see den," he winked at her with his fascinating smile.
"Sorry...that birthday wish aint happening Romeo." Her cheeks and ears began turning red as a small trace of a smile crossed her lips. A part of her would love to kiss him.
Seth smiled at her bright red ears. He loved making her blush. "I's jus playin," he said hoping to relax her. Silence blocked the air as they tried to think of something to say to one another.
"You seemed stiff tonight on some steps...you sore?" D asked.
"Yeah...ol' football injuries fuckin wit me tonite."
"Football huh?" She asked.
Seth nodded in silence wanting to change the subject.
"Things have really taken off lately. Did you think it would?"
He shrugged, "Neva thought much bouts it. Dis Brians thang...I's jus good at it...an I's likes bein on stage...so...you's gone give me a present or what?" He asked with a playful look in his eyes. He loved watching her squirm.
"Not my fault you chose the village drunk," she shrugged with a smile.
"Naw, I likes it when they's ready ta get down ta bidness s'a they can get gone."
"I take it theres no spooning with you huh?"
Seth slightly chuckled, "Theys aint da brightest girls D...I's s'prised half of em even find they way home. They always be tryin ta plan our weddin' an shit before I's can even roll ova."
"Poor Seth...everybody loves him," D rolled her eyes.
"They's aint lovin me...they's lovin my dick."
D shook her head with a smile, "If you say so Romeo."
He rolled onto his side more for a better look at her face. "Loves ta show ya sometime," he smiled with that alluring half grin. "Is my birthday case I's forgot ta say..."
"And youre damn sure not getting that from me for your birthday."
"What can I gets den?" He asked his eyes scanning her.
"Obviously nothing sexual."
"Can I's gets a lap dance?" he smiled. "Wit ya clothes on?" He added in the hopes of not completely freaking her out.
"Are you high?" She asked lookingat him strangely.
"Not s'a much," he shook his head smiling. "Come on D," he said in a serious tone, there may have even been a little begging present. "Gives me a lap dance." His words seemed so harmless and inviting. He made it almost sound captivating.
"No way," she refused.
"Come on D, you'sll give a dozen a nite ta complete strangas almost butt ass naked...but you's wont give ya friend, ya band mate one wit ya clothes on?" He emphatically asked. "Dat aint even right D," he faked being offended.
"Oh my god! Would it shut you up?"
He squint one eye and thought. "Maybe for tonite." His eyebrow rose as he waited for D to say something.
She sighed and stood up. Go sit over there," She pointed at a chair while she put the TV on Music Vision. Seth made it across the room and to the chair in one movement so it seemed. He couldnt believe he actually talked her into it. He dropped the shades on top of his head down over his eyes to conceal them. A broad smile came to his face as he slouched down in the chair. He tried to calm down and not look like he was new to this sort of thing. A song came on and D began dancing to it~ looking disinterested.
"You's could be mo sexy," he smiled watching her. He knew she was only pretending to look like she wasnt interested. She wouldnt have done it otherwise.
"You sure you want me to do this?" She asked with a questionable tone. She asked like it would hurt or was a bad idea. Of course he wanted her to do this. What kind of stupid question was that? He was 20 years old tonight, not 70. He wanted this and a whole lot more.
"Well hells yeah," he nodded. D came over to him dancing, dropping to the ground and giving it her all. She was driving him wild.But it wasnt enough. He leaned forward to her and wrapped his arms around her waist and forced her to sit down with him. "My lap aint up there," he smiled. His face was just an inch or so from hers. His breath was racing. D began grinding in his lap to the song on the TV. Seth's hands gripped at her inner thighs his eyes prowled her body through the shades. No girl had ever made a Tshirt and shorts seem so hot. "Shit D..." he moaned as his hands began moving along her sides and to her back.
"Hey...no touching," she smiled. She had him right where she wanted him.
He deviously smiled at her, "My birthday." She soon could feel his hands working their way under her shirt and going for her bra clasp. She didnt know if he was carried away or testing her to see how far she would let him go. She wasnt going to let him go that far.
"Ok," she smiled getting up quickly, "Happy birthday."
Seth looked to her with erratic breathing and smiled. "Tease," he sighed.
"Slut," she smiled back.
"Come on D...what yous scared of...dat I's gone take it...or dat you's wants it?" His smile just wasnt fair.

November 2004
Los Angeles, California

After almost 12 days on the road they were finally finishing up their last song. D looked at the look in Seth's eyes. He was looking at her differently tonight. Usually what they did on stage felt like playful harmless flirtation, but tonight, there was something different. It wasnt just in the way he looked at her, it was in the way he touched her as well. His hands gripped at her more than normal. His normal smile was absent and left with eyebrows that stayed in a befuddled scrunch. He did things that night that he just normally didnt do, like run his tounge across her throat and lis her ears. D didnt really know what to make of it.
Seth didnt understand it either he just felt the impulse to be as close to her as possible. He wanted her so bad tonight. He couldnt seem to make it go away, nor could he control himself. At one point he almost lost his place in a song because he was so caught up in the way she smelled. It reminded him of Washington apples at Christmas time. What was she doing to him? Why couldnt he stop thinking about her? Was it because she was considered forbidden? Or was there more to it than that? Seth didnt understand anything but the desire. Since the partial lap dance he felt obsessed with her. None but her even seemed to get his attention. What was going on?
When they got off stage Brian was the first one to ask him what he was thinking. Brian honestly couldnt tell if it was signs that the two of them had gone beyond a working relationship, or if Seth was simply carried away because he wanted her. Either way it was just a bit too much for the stage. Seth already had a sexual prowl on stage, this sent it over the edge.
"Dude, what was that shit with D?" Brian asked in a bold tone.
"I's jus tryin out differ'nt shit," Seth thoughtlessly mumbled as he wiped sweat from his face. He hadnt realized he had gotten so obvious out there. He casually motioned to D, "You's got a problem wit it?" He asked her.
D only shook her head no and nervously looked away.
"Dude, it was too...too real," Brian shook his head.
"Da crowd seem ta go for it, D say its straight...what da problem is?" Seth shrugged. About that time a few girls came up to Seth, flirting with him. He instantly turned on his charm and redirected his focus to them. It needed to be anywhere but on D. Seth knew he wanted her and he knew the band needed her. He knew he pushed girls away from him oce they had served a purpose. He didnt want D to end up leaving too. Yet, when he was around her there was just this dull ache in his chest that never left. While he hated it, he wanted so much for it to never go away. He had never been so confused.
D waited until all the guys had left and walked over to Seth. He was otherwise entertained by some girls neck as a second girl ran her hands through his hair. D cleared her throat to get his attention. He looked up, surprised to see her.
"D," he said his eyes getting larger. The two girls continued trying to kiss all over him and distract him. "Ladies," he finally spoke, "gimmie a sec...a'ite?" They both frowned at gave D looks that could kill as they moved away a few yards. "Wuz up D?" He said pulling a fake smile to his face.
"Thats what I'd like to know," she said studying his expression. She could tell he was hiding behind that fake smile.
Seth glanced to his hands, "I's jus couldnt stop D," he shrugged. His creased forehead showed his concern. D could tell he seemed troubled somehow. "I's jus couldnt control da shit tonite."
"What shit?" She asked. She didnt know what to think about his expression. He looked terribly conflicted and erratic. This was unlike him.
"Da stage shit," he sighed. "You's dont know what dat shit be like for me. I needs ice on my nuts when we's get off stage. Why you's thank I always find some hoe right afta iffin we's got time? Shits hard...literally," he half smiled, "Look it...I's sorry D...I's jus got carried away."
D felt empathy towards him and sighed, "Just next time you plan on taking things a step further on stage...just give me a heads up so I can prepare. Its not so easy for me either," she softly said.
Seth seemed a little surprised to hear her say that. He knew a part of her must have liked it. "Straight," he nodded. D turned to leave and soon heard him purr in a sultry voice. "Ya know yous liked it."
D smiled at him over her shoulder, "Cocky."
"Tease," he smiled back.