Categories > Original > Drama > Misfortune and Gold
CHAPTER 10: IT ONLY GROWS
January 2005
Los Angeles, California
"Lets give it up for the very sexy, the one and only, damn girl how we've missed you...DEEEE!" Called out the announcers voice at the Champagne Room.
D sauntered out onto the stage as the music started playing. It was hard for D. Faithless had generated a sizable fan base in LA. People were starting to recognize her from one of her two jobs. When the fans started getting wind that she was a stripper who only moon lighted with the band they began coming to the Champagne Room for a better peek at her. D hated all those guys coming just to see her disrobe. She heard alot of slanderous remarks. The guys had always been good to her and never treated her like a stripper, nor di they let anyone else. She was their friend, their band mate, their little sister. They all felt the need to protect her, but none so much as Seth. Seth really enforced things, so to speak. He made sure she was respected, he demanded it. Sometimes he would go off on guys just because he didnt like the way they had looked at her. He had no reservations about getting into a fight. He got into a lot of fights over her.
Seth's eyes watched from the shadows as D graced the stage in a sexy little business suit and hat. Her legs looked so long and perfectly toned. He watched her body moving to the fast beat of the top 40 song playing. He hated the song, but D made everything go completely silent anyway. He knew he shouldnt have been there. It would embarrass her if she knew he was there. It made him feel like some sort of stalker. He just couldnt help it, she dominated his thoughts. She sparked his curiosity. He had envisioned her out of her clothes a million times as he danced with her. Just this once he had to see her.
The beautiful happy smile she had when they danced together was absent. That is if you could even call what they did together dancing. It was more like foreplay. It had been slowly progressing each night for months, subtly, so Brian wouldnt throw a fit. D didnt seem to mind the things Seth did to her on stage. She seemed as turned on by it all as he did. But right now she looked like she was miserable. She honestly looked on the verge of tears. It made Seth feel bad for her. He hated having to see her do this. It made him want to get Faithless to work even harder. It was hard for him to derive pleasure from this when he saw she had none.
He could hear the vulgar remarks of the patrons. He knew he couldnt get in a fight, then she would know he was there and be mad at him for it. He tried to concentrate on just D. He tried to let the outside world fade away. Soon there was nothing left but D. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. Normally hiding his emotions was just second nature to him, but around D it was getting hard. He simply became someone else when he was around her. If she were any other girl he would have already slept with her and never called her back. There was just something about her. He had fought so hard, for over a year and a half to not even try to kiss her. He thought of her all the time. Being with her on stage was the best part of every day.
It was hard on them both to not act on the feelings they had for one another. It seemed to only fuel their stage shows. Over the time it had gotten harder to wrangle their feelings back into the appropriate places. For Seth he found that by being around her as much as possible it was easier to not act on his intense desires. They formed a genuine friendship. Seth felt a comfort around her that he had only felt with Damon. He spent more time with her than anyone. They were like best friends. Seth even noticed that being around her curbed his sexual desire and made him less of a hound dog. Before her he would go out and get drunk or high every night and drag home dumb blondes, raving red heads, or big breasted brunettes. He was different after D. She brought a breath of life into him.
March 2005
Los Angeles, California
D glared out the window of the van at the passing street lights. The guys were all talking amongst themselves, praising their performances. They were all happy to be going home to sleep in their own beds, lately that had been a rare luxury. Seth sat next to her, seemingly not a part of their conversation. He slowly sipped on a beer. D had noticed in the last months that he was drinking after almost every show. He never really got too drunk, but tonight he looked on the verge of it.
She glanced over at him. He was sweating, they all were, but he appeared to be more. From the corner of her eye she could see him pulling his shirt over his head. He then used it to wipe his face and neck. Her eye was caught by the glisten over his tattoos. They appeared so vibrant under a layer of sweat. He had five now. When she met him he had only one. Each one was strategically located and accented his perfect body. Her favorite one was located on his lower right abdomen, between the hip and belly button at an angle. It perfectly defined the V shape of his lower abs. It was simply his last name, Chandler, written in ornate cursive, but god it was sexy. On his right fore arm was a neat tattoo that said Death if you looked at it from the top and life if you looked at it from the bottom. On his left forearm was a scorpion about to strike. Scrolled across his shoulders in two inch Old English letters was the bands name, Faithless. Down his right bicep was a list of numbers. D didnt know what it was but she was pretty sure they were dates. The top number was 10 31 84 which had to symbolize his birthday. There were eight sets total.
"Pulls ova, Seth slurred, sitting up quickly. "I'ma be sick dawg."
"Dude, dont you puke in my van," Brian yelled out looking at him in the mirror.
"Den pulls da fuck ova," Seth blurted trying his best not to gag.
Brian quickly pulled over on the side of the freeway. Seth jumpped up and slid the van door open and leaned out.
"Dude!" Martin said rather disgusted as Seth began vomiting right next to him, You could have got out!"
"Sorry dawg," Seth said wiping his mouth. "Too mas cervezas."
D had noted many times that when Seth got trashed he would mix english and spanish together. He seemed to know more words than the average person. She wondered if he could speak it. Seth made his way back to his seat and rested his head on the window in the hopes that the world would stop spinning.
"You ok?" D asked in concern. She didt like seeing him like this. She preferred it when he was the life of the party and not the puking drunk in the back.
Seth's eyes slightly opened as he turned his head to look at her. He didnt even hear what she had asked him. He could only stare, mesmerized by her picturesque face. He reached over and moved a strand of hair from her cheek. "You's s'a beautiful," he muttered quietly.
D's heart melted as she shyly smiled as she noticed his eyes sparkling with the passing of the dim street lights. She could see how drunk he was. "Youre so drunk," she rolled her eyes.
"You is," he spoke faintly, staring into her aqua eyes. They were so hypnotic to him. He loved the color of them. He had never seen eyes like that that werent contacts. The color reminder him of the color of the ocean meeting the horizon. D looked away not knowing what to say. She soon felt his fingertips lightly run down her bare arm. They felt scratchy from all the dry and dead skin from slicing them open when he played guitar. She looked back over at him trying to decipher the look in his face. His lips were slightly parted, as if he wanted to speak but wasnt, or couldnt. She studied the scar across his lip. It gave him character, she couldnt imagine him without his scars.
"Hey!" Brian barked seeing their strong eye contact with one another in the rear view mirror, "Knock that shit off!"
Seth sighed becoming aware of his behavior. He truly had almost lost himself. He looked back out the window. Not pursuing her was the hardest promise he had ever had to keep. He didnt catch himself watching other girls with wonder and amazement. He never took note of the way they smelled unless their perfume was overwhelming. He didnt memorize little details about them like the structure of their jaw line, or the curve in their hips. He had never been completely lost in their eyes, nor kept a dull ache in his chest when they were around. D was an exception to any rule he had ever known This was all new territory for him and he couldnt grasp what any of it meant.
When the van pulled up outside of Seth's apartment building Brian turned around. "Roll out dawg," he chuckled making fun of the way Seth talked. Seth only rolled his eyes and struggled to get up.
"Hey guys," D said, "Im gonna help him upstairs. Ill just walk home from here."
"Uhhh..." Devin sort of stuttered as he looked to Brian then back to D, "thats probably not such a good idea...I mean...you know how he gets with you sometimes...and hes drunk..."
"Come on Devin, Im not one of Seth's bimbos. I think I can resist him," she said rolling her eyes and helping Seth get out of the van.
"What da fuck dawg?" he mumbled, "Why I's always gots to be tryin ta fuck D?" Caint she's jus be my friend dawg? Caint she at least be dat?" He asked as his voice progressively got louder.
No one said anything as Seth drunkenly rambled on and on about how he wasnt trying to sleep with D. Martin helped Seth down off the van as he continued to cruely spout out how he was sick of Brian always getting in the middle of he and D. He was a bit belligerent by now. He was cursing Brian with everything he could think of. D was pretty sure she even heard some spanish in there.
"Come on dude," Martin spoke, "youre just drunk...its over. D's gonna help you upstairs, alright?" He asked trying to help stabilize him on his wobbly feet.
"He aint gone do shit! He need me!!! Rememba dat shit dawg?!" Seth jerked away from Martin, "A'ite!! Straight!"
"Sleep it off dude," Brian called out. He knew Seth needed him just as much as he needed him. There was no way he would go back to Phoenix to do nothing. Seth loved the attention he got from all this way too much to leave. He could say as he liked, Brian knew better. He knew he was only drunk. Martin got back in the van and the guys took off.
D grabbed Seth around the waist and headed them to the stairs.
"Ya know," he drunkenly slurred as they started up the stairs, "If you's wanted ta come ova alls ya had ta do wuz ask."
"Yeah yeah," D sighed as she struggled with his weight, "come on Romeo."
When they reached his door Seth stumbled trying to get his keys out of his pocket, unable to. "Brian an dees fuckin pants...my shit wud be no pro'lem...but naw...he gots me wearin dis...dis shit. I aint even knowin what it is...tight ass shit...tiny ass pockets..." he continued rambling on about how he hated the clothes Brian made him wear on stage. D got tired of waiting for him to find his keys. She rolled her eyes and shoved her hand into his pocket to retrieve them.
"Ooooh," Seth smiled cutely, "dat aint no key." His eyes were barely open but his smile was wide and playful.
"Shut up," she smiled shaking her head at his flirtation as she opened the door. He stumbled in almost tripping over the treshold. D grabbed him to balance him. "I got you," she said holding him tight.
Seth looked to her and threw his arm around her shoulders. She led him through the dark apartment to his bedroom. She flipped on his lights and he collapsed down on the bed. D was rather shocked to see that his bed was perfectly made. In fact, nothing in the room was out of place. It was surprisingly tidy for a young bachelor. Seth let one foot drop to the floor to stop the world from spinning. D began unlacing his boots. She could hear him softly mumbling a few more things about Brian's choice in wardrobe. D only smiled at him as she listened. Silence fell on the room as she threw the second boot onto the floor.
"D..." he lightly murmured, "please dont walk home."
"Ill be ok," she nodded.
"No," he shook his head, "I's aint wantin you's ta gets hurt...jus stays wit me."
"Ill be fine."
"No...Please D...I's aint tryin to do nothin wit you's...I jus wants ya to be safe...I...caint..."
"Im a big girl Seth, Ill be fine," she assured him.
"Jus stay," he said sounding almost as if he were pleading with her.
"Im tired...I just want to go home and go to bed," she complained.
"Please D," he said trying to sound his most sincerest. I'sd worry bout you's all nite...you's s'a beautiful...an...an they's s'a many bad peeps in da world. Please...jus stay."
"Fine," she sighed giving in.
"Thanks...really," he said sitting up, fumbling, trying to get his shirt off.D helped him.
"You want these wrist bands off?" she asked as her hand touched one.
"Seth moved his arm and adamantly shook his head. "Theys neva come off."
"Do you have an extra pillow and a blanket?" she asked.
Sethran his hand across the empty side of his bed. "You' can sleeps 'ere."
D shook her head with a sarcastic smile, "Uh, no, I dont think so."
"Its a'ite," he smiled, "Iffin I bite I'sll kiss it an makes it betta."
"I am not about to lay on your dirty sheets. Theres no telling when you washed them last or how many sets of DNA are just crawling around all over them."
He chuckled lightly. "Ya's might be right." He looked into her eyes. He could feel the hands on the clock freeze...dust particles just froze in mid air. Breathing ceased completely. Nothing remained except her beautiful face looking at him and radiating enough heat to feel from 3 feet away. He had never seen anything more beautiful than D. He didnt want her to leave the room. Not just yet. In the back of his mind he couldnt help but process all the different things he could do to her in that room. But he knew he couldnt. "Wud you's stay a minute? Talks ta me...jus til I's falls asleep."
"About what?"
He shrugged with a smile, "Whateva."
D sat down on the edge of the bed and thought about something to say. Her glance was caught by his metal S necklace dangling down into his armpit. She reached out and picked it up, examining it more closely. It was covered in scratches. The edges were so worn that the silver metal overlay had rubbed down to the copperish color of the true cheap metal underneath. "I never see you out of this stuff. Do you seriously never take it off?"
"Not s'a much," he yawned.
"What about when you shower? Do you shower in these wrist bands? I bet they stink," she said moving her nose closer to his wrist for a whiff.
Seth had just enough cognitive skill to move it before she could. "Wud you's quit worryin bout my bling?"
D dismissively smiled as silence wrapped the up again. Seth sort of had an eager look on his face, as if hw was anticipating what she would say next. "So...do you have any brothers or sisters?"
He shook his head, "Naw...jus me...far as I knows. What bout you's?"
D nodded, "Two halves Ive never met. I dont even know if they know about me."
"They's aint knowin what they be missin," he smiled.
D glanced down. "So are your parents back in Phoenix?"
Seth thought for a minute, unclear how to answer. He finally came to the conclusion that since they were both technically buried there he would say yes. "Yeah."
"What are their names?" She asked.
"Dis 21 questions wit Seth or somethin?" He asked. D knew he was about to change the subject, just like he always did when things got too personal. But this time, to her surprise, he softly uttered the names, "Corey an Vera." No one had ever asked him their names before. He had been reluctant to answer. Now he was sort of shocked he had. He really hoped she didnt ask anything else about them. There was nothing to tell her, not the usual boring stuff he knew she would expect to hear about parents. His closet was a bit more stocked with skeletons of the past than most. It really wasnt skeletons so much as it was secrets. They were secrets he kept with the intent on not evoking sympathy and trying to appear more normal. He was anything but normal. At times his insides screamed to be let out. But he put on an act to convince everyone he was a certain way. Really, no one knew Seth, not even Seth.
D examined the largest of his scars on his face, going down his left cheek bone. There was one on the right one too, though it wasnt as long and was located closer to his eye. She could see that the scar on his lip went into his mouth, she assumed the entire lip must have been split open like a snakes tongue. She could make them out running into his eyebrows, but he didnt appear to be missing any hair in them. One ran completely down onto his eyelid. On his jaw she could see a deep pitted one. "Are all your scars from your wreck?"
Not the scars, he thought to himself. They were no topic he wanted to discuss. He could see her eyes carefully examining them one by one. Truth be known, Seth had tried his best to forget what had caused each one. There were too many to keep track of. There were far too many trips to the ER to remember. There were too many fights he wanted to forget. There were too many accidents to possibly make mental note of. "Nots all of em," he finally shook his head.
"Was it a bad wreck?" She cautiously asked.
Seth was quiet for a long moment, trying his best to find a way to change the subject. Yet at the same time he did want her to know him better. Right now all she knew him as was the good looking flirty front man. It was all just an act he played for people, one that made him feel better about himself. Seth had so many more layers than that, but he kept the biggest part of his personality locked away. He didnt want people to see the broken damaged kid inside. e didnt want people to know the torture, pain, and hopelessness of his childhood. He just didt want people to look at him differently. He didnt want to always be looked at with sympathetic eyes. He just wanted to appear normal.
"They's say I almost died," Seth almost whispered. "Cudn't walk for a long ass time. Kinda hurts my game a bit," he said knowing there was double meaning to the word game. He knew she wouldnt catch it and that was fine by him.
"I find that hard to believe," she slightly huffed. "I bet you dont even know how many girls youve slept with, do you?"
"Naw," he shook his head, "do you's?"
She smirked, "Not quite all of them."
Seth squint one eye at her, "No shit D." He turned on his charming grin, "You's wants ta help me get my numbas up?" He watched as her ears and cheeks began turning bright pink. He loved making her blush.
"No," she chuckled at his flirtation. More silence blanketed them as D tried to think of something else to say. "You ever get homesick?"
"Naw," he shook his head, "I's straight. Phoenix aint gots nothin for me no mo."
"What about your parents?"
There was another long moment of uncomfortable silence. Even if they werent both dead it still wouldnt matter, neither of them had ever wanted him anyway. "Theys gone," he eventually broke the silence. The look on his face had changed.
"Gone?" D asked.
Seth sighed, "Jus leaves it alone D." More silence wrapped around them. Why didnt he want to talk about his parents? And what exactly did he mean by gone? D's eyes fell on the list of numbers scrolled down his arm.
"What are all these numbers? Dates?" She asked to which he nodded yes. "Then the first one has to be your birthday, 10 31 84, right?" She assumed. He nodded yes. "Whats 11 21 92?" She asked him.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and thought about that day. He thought back to the 8 year old kid who found his mom dead. It wasnt something he wanted to tell D about. "Jus a day I's didnt wants ta forget."
"And 01 14 94?"
"Notha day I's wanted ta rememba." His thoughts broke off to Donovan. That date actually symbolized two things to him,the day Donovan dies and the day he became a ward of the state.
D wondered if all his answers would be so vague? Would he tell her what any of them meant? "What is 01 23 98?"
His eyes float up to the ceiling. That was one day he prayed no one ever found out about. That day was his deepest darkest secret. He would be all to happy to take the signifigance of that day with him to his grave. That was the day he tried to take his own life. "Dat wuz a real import'nt day."
"What about 08 15 98?" She kept on.
Seth smiled slightly. That one he would tell her. "Day I's lost my virginity."
D rolled her eyes and calculated in her head that he had only been 13 years old. "And 09 17 01?"
"My wreck," he sighed.
"03 19 03?"
"Day I's got wit Faithless."
"And the last one...08 03 03?"
Seth was silent. It was the day he met her. He felt too insecure to tell her that. He kind of felt silly for having it tattooed. He did maul it over in his brain for over a year before deciding. The deciding factor was that it was probably one of the best days of his life. D had brought him so much joy, even without being intimate. She made him happy. She made him want to be better. She made him look forward to tomorrow. "S'a far...da best day eva." He smiled and took in her beauty. "A'ite...my turn." The expression began taking on a new form. He drew his breath in to ask. "Why you's a strippa D?" That was something he tryely wanted to know. She could have been anything she wanted to be, why that? Why when she seemed to hate it so much? Why would someone so beautiful do that to themselves?
D glanced down to her hands in her lap. "Well," she sighed, "it was that or my choice of prostitution or pornography. I was barely 18 and on my own. I had trouble paying my bills with two jobs. But in one night...just one night of stripping I could pay half of them.
Seth looked at her in silence for a long while. The alcohol in him hid what he was really thinking from her. He hated that she was a stripper. He wished she wasnt. "I promise you's D...Ya aint gone be strippin much longa. I's gone get us dat papah...an we's aint neva gone work no mo bullshit jobs."
D smiled slightly wishing for him to be right. "You should get some sleep."
"Nite D," he nodded.
January 2005
Los Angeles, California
"Lets give it up for the very sexy, the one and only, damn girl how we've missed you...DEEEE!" Called out the announcers voice at the Champagne Room.
D sauntered out onto the stage as the music started playing. It was hard for D. Faithless had generated a sizable fan base in LA. People were starting to recognize her from one of her two jobs. When the fans started getting wind that she was a stripper who only moon lighted with the band they began coming to the Champagne Room for a better peek at her. D hated all those guys coming just to see her disrobe. She heard alot of slanderous remarks. The guys had always been good to her and never treated her like a stripper, nor di they let anyone else. She was their friend, their band mate, their little sister. They all felt the need to protect her, but none so much as Seth. Seth really enforced things, so to speak. He made sure she was respected, he demanded it. Sometimes he would go off on guys just because he didnt like the way they had looked at her. He had no reservations about getting into a fight. He got into a lot of fights over her.
Seth's eyes watched from the shadows as D graced the stage in a sexy little business suit and hat. Her legs looked so long and perfectly toned. He watched her body moving to the fast beat of the top 40 song playing. He hated the song, but D made everything go completely silent anyway. He knew he shouldnt have been there. It would embarrass her if she knew he was there. It made him feel like some sort of stalker. He just couldnt help it, she dominated his thoughts. She sparked his curiosity. He had envisioned her out of her clothes a million times as he danced with her. Just this once he had to see her.
The beautiful happy smile she had when they danced together was absent. That is if you could even call what they did together dancing. It was more like foreplay. It had been slowly progressing each night for months, subtly, so Brian wouldnt throw a fit. D didnt seem to mind the things Seth did to her on stage. She seemed as turned on by it all as he did. But right now she looked like she was miserable. She honestly looked on the verge of tears. It made Seth feel bad for her. He hated having to see her do this. It made him want to get Faithless to work even harder. It was hard for him to derive pleasure from this when he saw she had none.
He could hear the vulgar remarks of the patrons. He knew he couldnt get in a fight, then she would know he was there and be mad at him for it. He tried to concentrate on just D. He tried to let the outside world fade away. Soon there was nothing left but D. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. Normally hiding his emotions was just second nature to him, but around D it was getting hard. He simply became someone else when he was around her. If she were any other girl he would have already slept with her and never called her back. There was just something about her. He had fought so hard, for over a year and a half to not even try to kiss her. He thought of her all the time. Being with her on stage was the best part of every day.
It was hard on them both to not act on the feelings they had for one another. It seemed to only fuel their stage shows. Over the time it had gotten harder to wrangle their feelings back into the appropriate places. For Seth he found that by being around her as much as possible it was easier to not act on his intense desires. They formed a genuine friendship. Seth felt a comfort around her that he had only felt with Damon. He spent more time with her than anyone. They were like best friends. Seth even noticed that being around her curbed his sexual desire and made him less of a hound dog. Before her he would go out and get drunk or high every night and drag home dumb blondes, raving red heads, or big breasted brunettes. He was different after D. She brought a breath of life into him.
March 2005
Los Angeles, California
D glared out the window of the van at the passing street lights. The guys were all talking amongst themselves, praising their performances. They were all happy to be going home to sleep in their own beds, lately that had been a rare luxury. Seth sat next to her, seemingly not a part of their conversation. He slowly sipped on a beer. D had noticed in the last months that he was drinking after almost every show. He never really got too drunk, but tonight he looked on the verge of it.
She glanced over at him. He was sweating, they all were, but he appeared to be more. From the corner of her eye she could see him pulling his shirt over his head. He then used it to wipe his face and neck. Her eye was caught by the glisten over his tattoos. They appeared so vibrant under a layer of sweat. He had five now. When she met him he had only one. Each one was strategically located and accented his perfect body. Her favorite one was located on his lower right abdomen, between the hip and belly button at an angle. It perfectly defined the V shape of his lower abs. It was simply his last name, Chandler, written in ornate cursive, but god it was sexy. On his right fore arm was a neat tattoo that said Death if you looked at it from the top and life if you looked at it from the bottom. On his left forearm was a scorpion about to strike. Scrolled across his shoulders in two inch Old English letters was the bands name, Faithless. Down his right bicep was a list of numbers. D didnt know what it was but she was pretty sure they were dates. The top number was 10 31 84 which had to symbolize his birthday. There were eight sets total.
"Pulls ova, Seth slurred, sitting up quickly. "I'ma be sick dawg."
"Dude, dont you puke in my van," Brian yelled out looking at him in the mirror.
"Den pulls da fuck ova," Seth blurted trying his best not to gag.
Brian quickly pulled over on the side of the freeway. Seth jumpped up and slid the van door open and leaned out.
"Dude!" Martin said rather disgusted as Seth began vomiting right next to him, You could have got out!"
"Sorry dawg," Seth said wiping his mouth. "Too mas cervezas."
D had noted many times that when Seth got trashed he would mix english and spanish together. He seemed to know more words than the average person. She wondered if he could speak it. Seth made his way back to his seat and rested his head on the window in the hopes that the world would stop spinning.
"You ok?" D asked in concern. She didt like seeing him like this. She preferred it when he was the life of the party and not the puking drunk in the back.
Seth's eyes slightly opened as he turned his head to look at her. He didnt even hear what she had asked him. He could only stare, mesmerized by her picturesque face. He reached over and moved a strand of hair from her cheek. "You's s'a beautiful," he muttered quietly.
D's heart melted as she shyly smiled as she noticed his eyes sparkling with the passing of the dim street lights. She could see how drunk he was. "Youre so drunk," she rolled her eyes.
"You is," he spoke faintly, staring into her aqua eyes. They were so hypnotic to him. He loved the color of them. He had never seen eyes like that that werent contacts. The color reminder him of the color of the ocean meeting the horizon. D looked away not knowing what to say. She soon felt his fingertips lightly run down her bare arm. They felt scratchy from all the dry and dead skin from slicing them open when he played guitar. She looked back over at him trying to decipher the look in his face. His lips were slightly parted, as if he wanted to speak but wasnt, or couldnt. She studied the scar across his lip. It gave him character, she couldnt imagine him without his scars.
"Hey!" Brian barked seeing their strong eye contact with one another in the rear view mirror, "Knock that shit off!"
Seth sighed becoming aware of his behavior. He truly had almost lost himself. He looked back out the window. Not pursuing her was the hardest promise he had ever had to keep. He didnt catch himself watching other girls with wonder and amazement. He never took note of the way they smelled unless their perfume was overwhelming. He didnt memorize little details about them like the structure of their jaw line, or the curve in their hips. He had never been completely lost in their eyes, nor kept a dull ache in his chest when they were around. D was an exception to any rule he had ever known This was all new territory for him and he couldnt grasp what any of it meant.
When the van pulled up outside of Seth's apartment building Brian turned around. "Roll out dawg," he chuckled making fun of the way Seth talked. Seth only rolled his eyes and struggled to get up.
"Hey guys," D said, "Im gonna help him upstairs. Ill just walk home from here."
"Uhhh..." Devin sort of stuttered as he looked to Brian then back to D, "thats probably not such a good idea...I mean...you know how he gets with you sometimes...and hes drunk..."
"Come on Devin, Im not one of Seth's bimbos. I think I can resist him," she said rolling her eyes and helping Seth get out of the van.
"What da fuck dawg?" he mumbled, "Why I's always gots to be tryin ta fuck D?" Caint she's jus be my friend dawg? Caint she at least be dat?" He asked as his voice progressively got louder.
No one said anything as Seth drunkenly rambled on and on about how he wasnt trying to sleep with D. Martin helped Seth down off the van as he continued to cruely spout out how he was sick of Brian always getting in the middle of he and D. He was a bit belligerent by now. He was cursing Brian with everything he could think of. D was pretty sure she even heard some spanish in there.
"Come on dude," Martin spoke, "youre just drunk...its over. D's gonna help you upstairs, alright?" He asked trying to help stabilize him on his wobbly feet.
"He aint gone do shit! He need me!!! Rememba dat shit dawg?!" Seth jerked away from Martin, "A'ite!! Straight!"
"Sleep it off dude," Brian called out. He knew Seth needed him just as much as he needed him. There was no way he would go back to Phoenix to do nothing. Seth loved the attention he got from all this way too much to leave. He could say as he liked, Brian knew better. He knew he was only drunk. Martin got back in the van and the guys took off.
D grabbed Seth around the waist and headed them to the stairs.
"Ya know," he drunkenly slurred as they started up the stairs, "If you's wanted ta come ova alls ya had ta do wuz ask."
"Yeah yeah," D sighed as she struggled with his weight, "come on Romeo."
When they reached his door Seth stumbled trying to get his keys out of his pocket, unable to. "Brian an dees fuckin pants...my shit wud be no pro'lem...but naw...he gots me wearin dis...dis shit. I aint even knowin what it is...tight ass shit...tiny ass pockets..." he continued rambling on about how he hated the clothes Brian made him wear on stage. D got tired of waiting for him to find his keys. She rolled her eyes and shoved her hand into his pocket to retrieve them.
"Ooooh," Seth smiled cutely, "dat aint no key." His eyes were barely open but his smile was wide and playful.
"Shut up," she smiled shaking her head at his flirtation as she opened the door. He stumbled in almost tripping over the treshold. D grabbed him to balance him. "I got you," she said holding him tight.
Seth looked to her and threw his arm around her shoulders. She led him through the dark apartment to his bedroom. She flipped on his lights and he collapsed down on the bed. D was rather shocked to see that his bed was perfectly made. In fact, nothing in the room was out of place. It was surprisingly tidy for a young bachelor. Seth let one foot drop to the floor to stop the world from spinning. D began unlacing his boots. She could hear him softly mumbling a few more things about Brian's choice in wardrobe. D only smiled at him as she listened. Silence fell on the room as she threw the second boot onto the floor.
"D..." he lightly murmured, "please dont walk home."
"Ill be ok," she nodded.
"No," he shook his head, "I's aint wantin you's ta gets hurt...jus stays wit me."
"Ill be fine."
"No...Please D...I's aint tryin to do nothin wit you's...I jus wants ya to be safe...I...caint..."
"Im a big girl Seth, Ill be fine," she assured him.
"Jus stay," he said sounding almost as if he were pleading with her.
"Im tired...I just want to go home and go to bed," she complained.
"Please D," he said trying to sound his most sincerest. I'sd worry bout you's all nite...you's s'a beautiful...an...an they's s'a many bad peeps in da world. Please...jus stay."
"Fine," she sighed giving in.
"Thanks...really," he said sitting up, fumbling, trying to get his shirt off.D helped him.
"You want these wrist bands off?" she asked as her hand touched one.
"Seth moved his arm and adamantly shook his head. "Theys neva come off."
"Do you have an extra pillow and a blanket?" she asked.
Sethran his hand across the empty side of his bed. "You' can sleeps 'ere."
D shook her head with a sarcastic smile, "Uh, no, I dont think so."
"Its a'ite," he smiled, "Iffin I bite I'sll kiss it an makes it betta."
"I am not about to lay on your dirty sheets. Theres no telling when you washed them last or how many sets of DNA are just crawling around all over them."
He chuckled lightly. "Ya's might be right." He looked into her eyes. He could feel the hands on the clock freeze...dust particles just froze in mid air. Breathing ceased completely. Nothing remained except her beautiful face looking at him and radiating enough heat to feel from 3 feet away. He had never seen anything more beautiful than D. He didnt want her to leave the room. Not just yet. In the back of his mind he couldnt help but process all the different things he could do to her in that room. But he knew he couldnt. "Wud you's stay a minute? Talks ta me...jus til I's falls asleep."
"About what?"
He shrugged with a smile, "Whateva."
D sat down on the edge of the bed and thought about something to say. Her glance was caught by his metal S necklace dangling down into his armpit. She reached out and picked it up, examining it more closely. It was covered in scratches. The edges were so worn that the silver metal overlay had rubbed down to the copperish color of the true cheap metal underneath. "I never see you out of this stuff. Do you seriously never take it off?"
"Not s'a much," he yawned.
"What about when you shower? Do you shower in these wrist bands? I bet they stink," she said moving her nose closer to his wrist for a whiff.
Seth had just enough cognitive skill to move it before she could. "Wud you's quit worryin bout my bling?"
D dismissively smiled as silence wrapped the up again. Seth sort of had an eager look on his face, as if hw was anticipating what she would say next. "So...do you have any brothers or sisters?"
He shook his head, "Naw...jus me...far as I knows. What bout you's?"
D nodded, "Two halves Ive never met. I dont even know if they know about me."
"They's aint knowin what they be missin," he smiled.
D glanced down. "So are your parents back in Phoenix?"
Seth thought for a minute, unclear how to answer. He finally came to the conclusion that since they were both technically buried there he would say yes. "Yeah."
"What are their names?" She asked.
"Dis 21 questions wit Seth or somethin?" He asked. D knew he was about to change the subject, just like he always did when things got too personal. But this time, to her surprise, he softly uttered the names, "Corey an Vera." No one had ever asked him their names before. He had been reluctant to answer. Now he was sort of shocked he had. He really hoped she didnt ask anything else about them. There was nothing to tell her, not the usual boring stuff he knew she would expect to hear about parents. His closet was a bit more stocked with skeletons of the past than most. It really wasnt skeletons so much as it was secrets. They were secrets he kept with the intent on not evoking sympathy and trying to appear more normal. He was anything but normal. At times his insides screamed to be let out. But he put on an act to convince everyone he was a certain way. Really, no one knew Seth, not even Seth.
D examined the largest of his scars on his face, going down his left cheek bone. There was one on the right one too, though it wasnt as long and was located closer to his eye. She could see that the scar on his lip went into his mouth, she assumed the entire lip must have been split open like a snakes tongue. She could make them out running into his eyebrows, but he didnt appear to be missing any hair in them. One ran completely down onto his eyelid. On his jaw she could see a deep pitted one. "Are all your scars from your wreck?"
Not the scars, he thought to himself. They were no topic he wanted to discuss. He could see her eyes carefully examining them one by one. Truth be known, Seth had tried his best to forget what had caused each one. There were too many to keep track of. There were far too many trips to the ER to remember. There were too many fights he wanted to forget. There were too many accidents to possibly make mental note of. "Nots all of em," he finally shook his head.
"Was it a bad wreck?" She cautiously asked.
Seth was quiet for a long moment, trying his best to find a way to change the subject. Yet at the same time he did want her to know him better. Right now all she knew him as was the good looking flirty front man. It was all just an act he played for people, one that made him feel better about himself. Seth had so many more layers than that, but he kept the biggest part of his personality locked away. He didnt want people to see the broken damaged kid inside. e didnt want people to know the torture, pain, and hopelessness of his childhood. He just didt want people to look at him differently. He didnt want to always be looked at with sympathetic eyes. He just wanted to appear normal.
"They's say I almost died," Seth almost whispered. "Cudn't walk for a long ass time. Kinda hurts my game a bit," he said knowing there was double meaning to the word game. He knew she wouldnt catch it and that was fine by him.
"I find that hard to believe," she slightly huffed. "I bet you dont even know how many girls youve slept with, do you?"
"Naw," he shook his head, "do you's?"
She smirked, "Not quite all of them."
Seth squint one eye at her, "No shit D." He turned on his charming grin, "You's wants ta help me get my numbas up?" He watched as her ears and cheeks began turning bright pink. He loved making her blush.
"No," she chuckled at his flirtation. More silence blanketed them as D tried to think of something else to say. "You ever get homesick?"
"Naw," he shook his head, "I's straight. Phoenix aint gots nothin for me no mo."
"What about your parents?"
There was another long moment of uncomfortable silence. Even if they werent both dead it still wouldnt matter, neither of them had ever wanted him anyway. "Theys gone," he eventually broke the silence. The look on his face had changed.
"Gone?" D asked.
Seth sighed, "Jus leaves it alone D." More silence wrapped around them. Why didnt he want to talk about his parents? And what exactly did he mean by gone? D's eyes fell on the list of numbers scrolled down his arm.
"What are all these numbers? Dates?" She asked to which he nodded yes. "Then the first one has to be your birthday, 10 31 84, right?" She assumed. He nodded yes. "Whats 11 21 92?" She asked him.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and thought about that day. He thought back to the 8 year old kid who found his mom dead. It wasnt something he wanted to tell D about. "Jus a day I's didnt wants ta forget."
"And 01 14 94?"
"Notha day I's wanted ta rememba." His thoughts broke off to Donovan. That date actually symbolized two things to him,the day Donovan dies and the day he became a ward of the state.
D wondered if all his answers would be so vague? Would he tell her what any of them meant? "What is 01 23 98?"
His eyes float up to the ceiling. That was one day he prayed no one ever found out about. That day was his deepest darkest secret. He would be all to happy to take the signifigance of that day with him to his grave. That was the day he tried to take his own life. "Dat wuz a real import'nt day."
"What about 08 15 98?" She kept on.
Seth smiled slightly. That one he would tell her. "Day I's lost my virginity."
D rolled her eyes and calculated in her head that he had only been 13 years old. "And 09 17 01?"
"My wreck," he sighed.
"03 19 03?"
"Day I's got wit Faithless."
"And the last one...08 03 03?"
Seth was silent. It was the day he met her. He felt too insecure to tell her that. He kind of felt silly for having it tattooed. He did maul it over in his brain for over a year before deciding. The deciding factor was that it was probably one of the best days of his life. D had brought him so much joy, even without being intimate. She made him happy. She made him want to be better. She made him look forward to tomorrow. "S'a far...da best day eva." He smiled and took in her beauty. "A'ite...my turn." The expression began taking on a new form. He drew his breath in to ask. "Why you's a strippa D?" That was something he tryely wanted to know. She could have been anything she wanted to be, why that? Why when she seemed to hate it so much? Why would someone so beautiful do that to themselves?
D glanced down to her hands in her lap. "Well," she sighed, "it was that or my choice of prostitution or pornography. I was barely 18 and on my own. I had trouble paying my bills with two jobs. But in one night...just one night of stripping I could pay half of them.
Seth looked at her in silence for a long while. The alcohol in him hid what he was really thinking from her. He hated that she was a stripper. He wished she wasnt. "I promise you's D...Ya aint gone be strippin much longa. I's gone get us dat papah...an we's aint neva gone work no mo bullshit jobs."
D smiled slightly wishing for him to be right. "You should get some sleep."
"Nite D," he nodded.
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