Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Feels like drowning

Chapter sixteen

by XxlovefrankieroxX 3 reviews

Sorry this took so long guys. I really can't apologise enough. Its once again unbeta-d because I took so long to write it, and so I apologise for that too. I think there's only one or two chapters...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Fantasy,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2013-12-08 - 4189 words

The ocean floor held the scene of devastation that the fight between the merpeople and Sirens had left. The Sirens were all dead, largely thanks to Bob and his harpoon. Their black blood spread out from their wounds like misty tendrils that wouldn’t dissolve into the water. It was unlike anything Frank had ever seen before, and it made him feel uneasy as he swam slowly past every pale body, making sure that they all were really dead.

Frank’s skin crawled from the way dead, open eyes stared at him and he kept his arms tight to his body, trying to make sure he didn’t touch a single tentacle of blood. His heart was racing and a lump in his throat was making him feel suffocated, but he pushed on, checking the Sirens whilst Bob checked the merpeople.

When the two mermen had made it back from helping Gerard it had been clear the merpeople were losing. Most of the women had fled, and the few men left were either dead already or about to be killed, trapped by the charms of the Sirens. Frank had watched in horror as one by one men were kissed until their life left them, their soulless bodies sinking to the ocean floor, skin now grey and veins standing out in stark relief.

Frank’s sexuality and love for Gerard had managed to keep him from getting seduced himself, but he had seen that Bob was struggling. He had picked up his harpoon on the way back, but as soon as they came into the realm of the sirens his grip had grown slack and no matter what Frank shouted at him he couldn’t stop him from drifting towards a Siren who held her arms out to him. The only thing that had saved them was Jamia.

Jamia had refused to join the fight, but she appeared then as if from nowhere. When all the women had started to return to the town in panic Jamia had feared the worst and couldn’t stop herself from hurrying to see if Bob was okay. When she had seen him then, swimming, dazed towards one of the Sirens she had cried out at him to stop.

Bob had spared Jamia just a small glance, just long enough to witness a Siren send a rock smashing down into her skull and for her blood to start misting through the water, staining it red for a long moment.

The spell on Bob had cracked just as suddenly as Jamia’s skull, and with a scream filled with pure agony he had charged through the water, slicing with his harpoon and killing Siren after Siren as Frank had remained paralyzed, unable to do anything but stare and try to realise that what was he was seeing was real and not just a terrible nightmare.

As the Sirens fell to Bobs fury Frank had swam towards Jamia without thinking. He felt like he was moving in slow motion, or like he was watching one of those human films. It just didn’t feel real. This couldn’t happen, these kinds of things just didn’t happen… But no matter how much he tried to make the scene around him disappear, he couldn’t do it.

Frank had fallen to Jamia’s side but he had only been there for a few seconds before Bob was pushing him out of the way, sobbing Jamia’s name as he lifted her into a sitting position in his arms.

Frank had hovered uncertainly by Bob’s shoulder for a long moment before the merman had told him to make sure all the Sirens were dead, unable to move himself for a long time.

Frank could hear Bob trying to wake Jamia up when he had first swam away, but he didn’t try long. Bob was a practical man and soon he realised it was clear Jamia wasn’t going to open her eyes so he forced himself to take a deep breath and swim around the rest of the fallen merpeople, praying he would find a survivor, but just like all the Sirens were dead, so were the mermen.

Frank turned to face Bob after checking the final Siren, bile rising in his throat. They were all dead, but Frank felt no pleasure knowing that technically the town was now safe. By the looks of things too many were dead for them to even classify as a town anymore.

“Bob.” Frank’s voice wavered and he blushed, clearing his throat. He was trying to be strong, trying to think of something positive but there was nothing. He was full of dread, terrified that he was about to confirm Jamia’s death and he wasn’t sure he could cope. He hadn’t even been able to make amends with her, she couldn’t be gone.

“They’re all dead.” Bob whispered, not turning to look at Frank. His voice was gruff, strained from how he was trying to talk through his tears. He was staring down at the bodies of the merpeople strewn around them, disgusted by their prominent veins and ashen skin. He knew they would need to be taken back to the town and given a respectful send off, but Bob wasn’t sure he could handle even touching their bodies. They didn’t look like the men he remembered anymore, the Siren’s had pulled the souls right out of them and there was something otherworldly and ominous about their corpses.

“The Sirens are all dead too.” Frank whispered, swimming closer to the blonde man and going to place his hand on his shoulder, but in the end he hesitated and drew his hand back. He was wracked with guilt and he wasn’t sure whether Bob would want him to comfort him or not.

“We should move the bodies.” Bob still didn’t look at Frank, it was as if he was unable to pull his eyes away from the merman he was staring at. “And the Sirens… we shouldn’t leave them here either.”

“And Jamia?” Frank didn’t like the sound of moving the Sirens bodies, especially with their blood suspended around them like something solid. He decided to ignore the suggestion instead and just ask the question that was burning in him. He was angling his body towards Jamia, going to swim to her, but he wanted Bob to join him. Perhaps she wasn’t dead, perhaps she was just unconscious and they could still save her.

“She –”

“She’s gone.” Bob spoke quickly, as if he was trying to spit the words out before they got lodged in his mouth. Frank stared at the back of his head for a long moment, trying to let those words sink in but they couldn’t. They sounded all wrong… They sounded like a lie.

“I… No… Are you sure?” Frank turned to start swimming towards her body, her blood now dissolved into the water so that she looked almost peaceful, like she was simply sleeping. There was blood staining her hair, and a long crack down the back of her skull but it was frighteningly easy to look past that and believe that she was still alive.

Bob turned slowly, tears making his eyes blood shot. He watched Frank swimming towards the mermaid and felt anger start to rise inside him. In his grief he could feel himself starting to blame the younger man even though deep down he knew this was his fault too. Frank had wanted to call the fight off but Bob had insisted… But he couldn’t bring himself to accept that Jamia’s death was his fault, he needed to blame someone other than himself he was going to cope at all.

“She’s dead Frank!” Bob shouted the words before he even realised he was thinking them, flicking his tail harshly and sending a spray of sand over one of the mermen’s bodies as he swam rapidly after Frank. “I wouldn’t say she wasn’t if I wasn’t fucking sure! Her brains are all over the sand, but if you think you can still save her be my guest!”

Frank winced but ignored Bob’s words, reaching Jamia and sinking down beside her body. Bobs tone had been clearly venomous, and Frank knew that he was being blamed for what had happened. But Frank couldn’t blame Bob, he was blaming himself too…

“Jay…” Frank’s chest felt like it was being crushed as he gently touched Jamia’s shoulders with his hands and delicately brushed her hair off her face. Her eyes were open and her mouth was wide, her face frozen in the terror she had felt in her last moments of life.

Frank’s hands shook as he tenderly slid the mermaids eyelids closed, his heart racing so fast it felt as though it was going to speed out of his chest. He felt sick and his throat hurt, but he couldn’t bring himself to cry. He was somewhat more composed than Bob as he gently closed Jamia’s jaw too and then inspected the damage to her head.

It was obvious that there was nothing that could be done. Jamia was dead and already her skin was losing its colour. Frank was too afraid to move her in case her skull fell apart, he wanted her to remain beautiful in death, he didn’t want to take back a mutilated corpse.

Once Frank had done all he could he sat back on his tail and just stared at Jamia. A million things were going through his head but he could focus on none of them, they just blurred together to make a tangle of sadness that consumed him. This was all his fault, he knew that, and now Jamia was dead and he had never had chance to apologise for leaving her for so long. The few survivors left in the town would all have to grieve over the many dead, and Frank couldn’t help but wonder if it wouldn’t be better for them to all have been killed. At least then he wouldn’t have to face the difficulty of going back and giving them the awful news.

“So?” Frank jumped, having almost forgotten about Bob floating behind him. “Can you save her, oh amazing one? I saved your stupid human, can you bring back the woman who was supposed to be your mate?”

“You know I can’t…” Frank whispered, bowing his head and squeezing his eyes shut. “I wish that I could.”

“That’s not good enough.” Bob growled, suddenly grabbing Frank’s shoulder and wrenching him upwards. He spun him round so that they were face to face and Frank was forced to look at the pain shining in Bob’s eyes. It was suddenly painfully obvious that Bob had loved her, and that just made Frank feel worse.

“Bob I loved her too ya know, in my own way I did lo –”

Bob’s fist crunched into Frank’s jaw before he even had chance to register that it was coming towards him. He gasped and flew backwards, clutching his jaw and finally tears began to make his vision blur, brought on by the pain blossoming across the side of his face. He stared at Bob with wide eyes, but he supposed he shouldn’t be shocked.

“This is all your fault.” Bob whispered, his words spat with hate that made Frank’s stomach sink. “If you hadn’t come back none of this would have happened… You only wanted us to fight because of the humans and now everyone is dead because of /you/.”

“I didn’t want any of this.” Frank whispered, his voice gruff as he cradled the side of his face. “/You/ were the one who wanted to go ahead with all this, I told you I didn’t want to!”

“It was your idea in the first place!” Bob snapped back, his fists clenched ominously in front of him but Frank found he didn’t even care if he hit him again. “All because of your precious human. You should never have stayed on land in the first place, if I hadn’t gone to save him with you then Jamia might still be alive.”

“No, if you hadn’t allowed yourself to get seduced by a Siren Jamia would still be alive.” Frank snarled back, gasping when Bob punched him hard again. He flew back even further and whimpered as pain seared through his eye. He couldn’t stop himself from sobbing then, overcome with sadness and guilt, but Bob only shook his head in disgust and leant down to scoop Jamia’s body into his arms.

“I’m going back to the town to tell them what you’ve done.” He whispered, choked by the lump in his own throat. “Don’t bother coming back… /ever/.”

Frank watched through teary eyes as Bob swam away, carrying Jamia’s broken body with him. He watched until they disappeared, swallowed from view by the water and then he sank down onto the ocean floor and just cried.

Frank didn’t want to leave, as much as he didn’t want to face the other merpeople he didn’t want to abandon them either. He wanted to help send off their dead, he wanted to be able to pay his last respects and apologise for the destruction he had brought on them all. But the pain in his face was warning enough that if he dared try and return Bob would kill him, and so he forced himself to rise back up and with one final, pained look at the dead around him he turned and swam away from the Sirens and his town forever.


When Gerard woke up the first thing he was aware of was the aching pain throughout his entire body. It felt as though he had been hit by a truck, and even just the tiniest movement made him wince in agony. He couldn’t remember what had happened to him at first, and he felt disorientated when he slowly opened his eyes and found himself in an unfamiliar room. The ceiling lights were long and bright, blinding him until his eyes adjusted, but it felt like it took too long for him to finally see again.

The next thing the artist noticed was the wire coming out of the back of his hand. It was the only one on him as far as he could tell and he took that to be a good sign. Obviously he was in hospital, but he couldn’t be too badly hurt if he was only attached to a drip. There was a heart monitor and breathing apparatus beside the bed, but neither seemed to be switched on.

The curtain around the bed was drawn, sectioning Gerard off from the rest of the ward. He listened but he couldn’t hear anyone else, just the gentle click and whirs of different machines. He guessed that it must be daytime if the lights were on and he wondered what day it was… How long had he been asleep? When he had last had his eyes open it had been night he was sure of that, but his memory was a little foggy.

Slowly… Slowly… Gerard gritted his teeth and forced himself up into a sitting position, his bones ached fiercely from the effort, but he soon slumped again against the pillows piled up behind him. He felt more awake now he was half sat up, and he felt some relief to be feeling so alert. His memory was coming back in stages too, but that didn’t make him feel better in the slightest.

Gerard looked around until he found a red button with ‘call nurse’ written in black above it. He leant across and jabbed it with his thumb, his body burning all the time and he decided the first thing he would do was ask for some painkillers. Then he’d see about how long it would take to get out of here.

“Frankie…” Gerard tested his voice, the word coming out in a broken whisper and he realised for the first time how thirsty he was. He felt as though he hadn’t drank in years, or eaten either, and he began to worry he had been asleep for too long. He desperately wanted to know if Frank was okay, after his own encounter with a Siren he couldn’t imagine the fight with an entire colony had gone well. He prayed that he would see Frank again, but he didn’t even know how long of the year apart he had left anymore.

Gerard lay motionless in the hospital bed, thinking about Frank and feeling his worry increase until his curtain was whipped back with a flourish and a young nurse appeared.

“Ah, Mr Way! You’re finally awake.” She grinned, closing the curtain again behind her and walking to Gerard’s side where she fiddled with his drip for a moment. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful.” Gerard admitted quietly, watching the nurse closely. He wasn’t feeling awake enough to handle her bright energy and he groaned as she moved him to sit up more. “My entire body hurts, I need some painkillers.”

“You’re already on a morphine drip.” The nurse indicated the tube in his hand and shrugged at him. “You’re on the highest dose, we can’t give you any more than you have. You seem awfully alert considering…” The nurse trailed off, frowning at Gerard. The artist could understand why, not only was he still in pain but the morphine didn’t seem to be affecting him at all. Gerard had felt the effects of the drug only once in his life, when he had been a teenager and broken three of his ribs, and at the time he had felt so high he had become convinced the doctors were trying to kill him… Now though, he felt as sober as any other day.

“We’re not even sure what happened to you.” The nurse continued speaking, looking suspiciously at Gerard as she checked his temperature and pulse. “Do you remember anything?”

Gerard shook his head quickly, knowing it was his best bet to just keep silent about what had happened. He wondered if what the Siren had done to him was causing his blood to dissolve the morphine before it could make it into his system. He wondered if he would ever be normal again… Would the pain even stop? Gerard knew nothing about the effects of a Siren kiss, Frank had never talked to him about it.

“You’re sure? Absolutely nothing at all?” The nurse asked gently, looking at Gerard with gentle, understanding eyes and the artist had the sudden, overwhelming urge to tell her everything. He opened his mouth to do so before changing his mind and shaking his head again. He wanted to get out of hospital, not get put into a psychiatric ward.

“I only remember going to to the harbour and then… just waking up here. I must have passed out or something.” Gerard spoke as innocently as possible, weakly running a hand through his hair. “Do you know how long I’ve been unconscious?”

“Only about fourteen hours.” The nurse sighed, clearly disappointed that Gerard didn’t remember more. “We received a phone call late last night about you being found on the harbour. We thought you had been saved from drowning, and though we found water in your lungs it shouldn’t have caused you to remain out for so long. We’ll run some more tests, but perhaps it’s just the effect of the shock.”

“Shock?” Gerard repeated, the nurse nodding and smiling gently at him.

“Yes, we think you must have gone into severe shock at some point. Your skin was grey when you arrived here, and your breathing was very shallow. You also screamed whenever we moved you, so we thought that you might be in pain – which is why we gave you the morphine. But we’ve found no sprains or breaks in your bones, and all your organs seem to be fine.”

Gerard blushed and bit his lips, nodding his head quietly. It was clear that the nurse was very confused over his condition and he wasn’t looking forward to meeting a doctor. He would go through whatever tests they gave him but deny all knowledge and probably leave a medical mystery. He couldn’t believe he had even been passed out for so long, the last thing he remembered was seeing the blue lights of the ambulance, lying in Frank’s arms. The Siren must have taken more out of him than he thought.

“Well… Now you’re awake I’ll get someone to bring you some food and water, and the doctor will be up shortly.” The nurse sighed once it was clear Gerard didn’t want to say much more. “You should get some rest.”

“Do you know when I’ll be out of here?” Gerard asked softly, keeping as still as possible so that his body didn’t ache. He wanted to appear comfortable but he knew full well that he looked as in pain as he felt.

“Well… Once we’ve done some more tests we’ll have a better idea, but as soon as you feel better we can let you go.” The nurse smiled sympathetically, waiting a moment before telling Gerard once again to get some rest, leaving quietly and closing the curtain behind her.


The ocean felt colder than usual… hostile. Bob felt sick at the thought of pushing Jamia over the drop off to let her sink into the abyss, but it was the traditional send off for all the merpeople’s dead and already the rest of the killed had been left to sink into oblivion.

The remaining survivors kept at a respectful distance as Bob gently brushed a lock of hair off Jamia’s face before running his thumb along her cheekbone. He had cried so much in the past day he had no more energy in him to carry on. His face remained calm though his eyes betrayed his true feelings of despair as he leant down to kiss the mermaids forehead.

Jamia had been dressed for her send off by the other women. A circlet of seaweed and shells had been placed on her head, helping to cover the seaweed bandages holding her skull together. Her hair was fanned out delicately around her, dotted with pearls. She looked beautiful and peaceful, and Bob didn’t think he would ever recover from the grief that was consuming him.

“Jamia…” He whispered, closing his eyes as he touched their foreheads together. “I should have told you long ago that I love you. I’m sorry.” Bob could feel sobs rising in his chest again and he struggled to hold them back, wishing with all his might that Jamia would wake up. He longed for her to open her eyes and be alive again, to be able to tell her he loved her and have her say it back. So many regrets were tormenting him; he should have told her he loved her, he shouldn’t have fought with the sirens, he shouldn’t have been seduced…. He shouldn’t have sent Frank away.

Bob didn’t want to think about Frank. He was still holding onto the anger that had caused him to send the younger man away, but with each hour that anger was dissolving and he was beginning to realise he was making a mistake. Frank would have wanted to pay his last respects to Jamia and Bob had taken that chance away from him, but it was all too late now.

Bob gradually managed to tear himself away from Jamia’s body, watching with an increasing feeling of suffocation as two mermaids swam forward to lift Jamia’s body and let It sink down into the darkness of the drop off, weighted down by rocks tied to her tail.

Bob turned away, unable to watch Jamia’s body disappear. He swam away from the other merpeople, struggling to breathe as grief sank through his heart like the harpoon he had killed so many Sirens with. No one could understand how he was feeling, and he wanted no one to come near him as he swam back towards the town.

“Bob - What about Frank?” One of the women called after him, causing Bob to tense up and squeeze his eyes shut for a moment.

“He won’t come back…” He said softly, feeling a deep longing to be with his friend again. Frank was the only one who could ever fathom what Bob was feeling, and yet the blonde found himself growing bitter again. “If he does show up… Then we’ll kill him.”
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