Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Feels like drowning

Chapter seventeen

by XxlovefrankieroxX 0 reviews

So this is it, we reach the final chapter. Thank you guys so much for all your support, and dont miss the epilogue at the end!

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Fantasy,Romance - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2013-12-24 - 4661 words

Gerard stood on the pier, his torso leant against the rails as he gazed out at the grey water. The wind ruffled his hair and chilled his skin, but he didn’t really feel it. He had left the hospital an hour before and was yet to return home. He had gone straight to the pier, though he didn’t expect to see Frank, it was still daylight and now that no more disappearances had occurred people were beginning to come back in the day.

No one paid the artist any attention as he stared out over the water. His sleeves had ridden up slightly and he was yet to remove his hospital bracelet, he idly hooked a finger beneath it, tugging gently as his eyes remained fixed on the horizon. He wanted to see Frank more than anything… He had spent his three days in the hospital watching the local news and waiting for any more disappearances but there were none. Something had obviously been done to get rid of the Siren problem, but what did that mean for Frank?

Gerard sighed and shivered as the cool wind blew, he had just a light jacket with him but it wasn’t keeping him warm. He knew he should go home and warm up, rest… The doctors were still baffled over his condition, not sure what had happened to him but he had been stable and seemed to be returning to his old self so he had managed to persuade them to let him go. He had been strictly told he would need to rest for a week at least, but standing on the pier wasn’t exactly strenuous.

Gerard turned away from the rails and walked back along the pier towards the harbour wall. The pubs had reopened, but they still weren’t receiving much business. People were still too afraid that the disappearances would start again.

Gerard made his way to the pub he had once taken Frank to for lunch when they had first met. He remembered the way Frank had eaten the food, amazed by its taste, its texture and its smell. Gerard missed that, he missed Frank’s constant awe and curiosity. It reminded him to take more joy from the little things, but it was impossible to be joyful about anything with Frank gone.

Gerard stepped through the heavy doors of the pub and was immediately enveloped by warmth. He shivered with relief and walked slowly to the bar, pulling the sleeves of his jacket over his hands subconsciously as he gazed at the line of spirits above the bar. He hadn’t been allowed to drink anything in hospital of course and now he was out he desperately needed one. He didn’t have a problem, he would never admit that he had a problem. As soon as Frank came back he’d be fine.

The barman looked relieved to have a customer at last, the bar empty other than for two other men who were sat at opposite ends of the room, drinking beer and messing with their phones. The place had always been popular, with tourists and locals alike but it would be a while before people would recover from the many lives that had been lost.

The barman smiled encouragingly at Gerard, trying too hard to put him at ease and Gerard’s voice was quiet as he mumbled what he would like drink.

“Comin’ right up.” The barman smiled, grabbing a glass and pushing it beneath the optic that held some spiced rum. It would warm Gerard up and suited the cold weather outside. He had asked for a double, but when he watched the barman put down the glass and add a cube of ice he couldn’t help but think it wasn’t enough.

“Pretty cold out there.” The barman said conversationally as Gerard slid onto one of the stools, paying for his drink and taking the glass in hand. “Nights are starting to draw in too… Hoping custom will pick up soon.”

Gerard kept quiet and simply nodded, downing his glass in one and sliding it back to the barman to refill. The man looked somewhat baffled but he turned and added more rum to the glass before handing it Gerard again.

“Bad day?”

“Something like that.” Gerard mumbled, his cheeks pink. Was it that obvious? “More of a bad year… really.”

“I hear ya.” The barman nodded sagely, leaning his elbow on the bar and watching Gerard sip his rum this time. The artist didn’t want to look like an alcoholic, or worse, some sad lonely man drowning his sorrows in an empty bar. “Since those disappearances started I think everyone’s been having a bad year… Wait, oh God you’re not the family of a victim are you?”

“No.” Gerard sighed, the barman sighing with relief and blushing himself for almost slipping up.

“Sorry… You just never know now. It’s awful really, just awful. I knew a few of the sailors myself… Regulars, ya know?” Gerard got the impression that the barman was mostly talking to himself, but he could understand the need to have a friendly ear to chat to, even if the ear wasn’t listening. “It’s the not knowing that makes it worse though… You know some people have been wondering if we have like a uh… Oh what’s it called, that triangle thing.”

“The Bermuda triangle.” Gerard filled in, growing thoughtful. Perhaps the Bermuda triangle was simply a Siren stronghold, or perhaps it was something entirely different. There was enough mythical things in Gerard’s life for him to deal with, he didn’t even want to try to consider.

“Yeah, that’s the one!” The barman grinned, obviously thrilled to have some input. “I personally don’t much about it, I only know it’s creepy that all those men disappeared… and for seemingly no reason. Haven’t even found the bodies –”

“I’m sorry,” Gerard interrupted, turning his eyes on the barman. “But can we not talk about this?”

“Oh! Oh, sorry of course… Sorry. I talk too much. Sorry.” The barman looked flustered and apologised too much for Gerard who just tuned out, his stomach churning and he pushed the rest of his rum away. Suddenly he didn’t want to drink anymore.

Gerard supposed despite seeing it so often on the news, he had forgotten that other people were suffering so much from the disappearances. He had known of course that it was awful that so many men had lost their lives, and that the town was frightened, but hadn’t even considered the family and friends of the sailors who would be grieving. Never knowing what happened to the men they loved. Gerard suddenly felt ashamed of himself for coping so awfully with Frank leaving… The merman had had no real choice, and now the Sirens had been stopped. Gerard only hoped Frank was still safe.

Gerard softened and stared at his rum, downing the last of it and gazing into the empty glass. The barman hesitated before asking him if he wanted another but Gerard smiled, shook his head, and asked for a pineapple juice instead.


Gerard stayed in the bar until closing, even chatting to the barman and trying to be friendly. He had to get his life back on track he decided. Needed to start selling paintings again, and to be more positive. Frank would be allowed back on land in just seven months. That felt like a long time to Gerard, but he reasoned… just one more month and they’d be halfway. As long as Frank was safe and well, Gerard would be fine.

Gerard made his way to the pier to wait and see if Frank would appear. He wasn’t sure if he had asked him to come at night, or if Frank had suggested it, or if Gerard had simply dreamt it all… His memories from the night Frank saved him were vague and unclear, but he prayed that they had made some agreement to meet before the year ended. Either way, he would wait every night until Frank returned just in case.

Gerard slowly sat down and let his legs dangle over the edge of the pier, resting his forehead on the rail. He felt tired and even colder than before after leaving the warmth of the pub, but he would wait regardless.

The sky was cloudless and starry, but that made the night even colder. Gerard huddled inside his jacket, feeling his eyes begin to droop. He was sure he wouldn’t fall asleep, he was too cold, but no sooner had the thought passed his mind than he dropped unconscious, his body still exhausted after his Siren ordeal.

For hours Gerard slept against the hand rail of the pier, his lips parted and his cheeks and nose bright red from the cold. He would have stayed there for much longer, perhaps all night, if a warm hand didn’t gently touch his cheek and brush his hair aside.

“Mm…” Gerard stirred awake, mumbling softly and slowly raising a hand to rub at his eyes. When he opened them he was at first confused, realising he must have fallen asleep but he couldn’t guess for how long. To begin with he didn’t notice what had woke him, but then a wave surged up and with it came Frank, the merman planting his hands on the wood of the pier so that he could lever his body upwards and sit beside Gerard.

“Frank!” Gerard gasped, his hands shaking as he immediately flung his arms around the merman’s neck. The relief of seeing him alive and well was overwhelming and it woke Gerard up rapidly. He felt like he could cry as he squeezed Frank tight. The younger man held him just as desperately, burying his face into Gerard’s neck and getting him wet as he groaned quietly.

“Gerard… Oh… It’s such a relief to see you.” Frank’s heart was pounding as he clung to his lover, his body tense and his eyes stinging with tears. He had been coming to the pier every night since leaving Gerard for the ambulance, praying to see him. Now he was no longer welcome with the merpeople he had been sleeping in the harbour, he knew it was risky, but he just needed to be as close to land as possible.
“Frankie… I’m so glad you’re okay…” Gerard rocked Frank gently in his arms, gazing up at the stars through blurred vision as he clutched the merman to him. In his head he was silently thanking God, thanking any superior being which might control their fate for bringing Frank back to him safely. Gerard had never been religious, but in that moment it just felt right to thank /someone/.

“You have no idea how worried I was…” Gerard sighed, pressing kiss after kiss to Frank’s neck, jaw and face. The younger man laughed softly, though it was tinged with sadness.

“I was worried about /you/.” He cooed, cupping his hands around the back of Gerard’s neck as he leaned back to gaze at him. “Oh Gee… I wish I could be back with you on land.” He whispered, feeling choked up but he tried hard not to cry.

Frank didn’t know how he was going to last another seven months without his lover. He had no friends anymore, he had been outcast and was now the enemy of everyone he had ever known. All he had left was Gerard, but already being out of the water was making his lungs ache and his tail was growing dry and uncomfortable.

“Frankie… Frankie Frankie Frankie… Promise me you’ll come here every night. I have to see you every night if I’m having going to handle being apart from you.” Gerard groaned, too overcome by his own emotions to notice that Frank wasn’t quite himself. He kissed his lips over and over, Frank sighing into his mouth and trying to reciprocate but everything in him just ached. He wished more than anything that he could go back to Gerard’s apartment with him and sleep for a thousand years.

“I will Gerard… I will, I promise.” He whispered, nodding his head and sighing as he closed his eyes for a moment, clutching Gerard’s shirt and resting their foreheads together. “But right now you need to get home, you’re freezing… You shouldn’t have been sleeping out here.” He whispered.

“What? No! No way, I’m not going home so soon, Frankie I’ve been dying to see you.” Gerard gasped, horrified Frank would be sending him away already and he cupped his face as he met his gaze. “Frank I’m not leaving, I love you.”

“And I love you.” Frank replied, his voice growing thick with tears and Gerard watched in astonishment as Frank began to cry. “You have no idea how much… I’ve lost everything except you, I need to be home with you… I need to be out of this God damn ocean Gerard please, please take me home.”

Frank fell against Gerard’s chest and began to sob in earnest, stunning the artist into the silence. The sudden outburst had seemed to come out of nowhere and Gerard just felt confusion as he tenderly held Frank too him and rubbed his naked back. He hushed him gently, letting him hide in his jacket for a long moment.

Frank felt embarrassed and his cheeks grew hot as he held onto Gerard. The crying was making his gills burn as they too tried to draw in air along with his mouth, but he couldn’t stop the tears. For two days he had swam aimlessly about the harbour, hiding from sight from the humans and thinking of all he had witnessed and all he had lost. Sweet, sweet Jamia… His best friend… Half of the town that had helped raised him. All of it… gone. Only Gerard remained, and yet Frank had to be separated from him for another seven months. It was almost too much to bear.

“Frankie…” Gerard whispered softly, closing his eyes as he planted a soft kiss to Frank’s forehead. “Please don’t cry… You know I’d take you home any moment if I could.” He sighed, trying to think of a way that they could make it work. He could buy a bathtub, fill it with water so Frank wouldn’t be uncomfortable. If he could get enough money he could convert the bathroom into a wet room… but that was no good, he couldn’t keep Frank in one place like a prisoner.

“You can’t stay locked away in my shower Frankie.” He chuckled weakly, tenderly rubbing the nape of Frank’s neck with his fingertips, soothing him. “You need to have space, freedom… You have your friends in your town to spend time with. You’ll be fine baby.”

“Not anymore Gee.” Frank groaned, moving up to lay his head on Gerard’s shoulder instead, his sobbing had ceased but silent tears continued to roll down his cheeks as he stared blankly over the dark, cold water. “I’ve been outcast.”

“What!?” Gerard’s eyes grew wide and he pulled back to look at Frank’s face, his heart missing a beat. “What do you mean outcast?”

“I mean… If I go back there, they’ll kill me.” Frank said simply, his voice cool and calm. He was still in shock really, part of him still didn’t believe Bob had meant what he said. “The Sirens killed almost everyone Gee… They killed Jamia.”

Gerard gasped quietly, a lump rising in his own throat and he tightened his arms around Frank. Although he didn’t know Jamia personally he knew she was Frank’s friend and he realised now that Frank was grieving.

“And… Bob?” He asked quietly, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

“He’s the one who sent me away.” Frank sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and bowing his head as a wave of hurt passed over him. “He was in love with Jamia. I never knew but… Well. We had a fight and now I can’t go back. I’m stuck until I can finally get my legs back.”

“Oh Frankie…” Gerard sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and holding Frank close for a long while. He wanted to say something to comfort him but it was hard to think straight when all he could think was how unfair it all was. Frank had only been trying to protect everyone and now he was left to grieve, alone and abandoned by the few survivors left. Gerard couldn’t even be there for him all the time, and that hurt most of all.

“Well I…” Gerard trailed off, biting his lip, trying to think of what someone who was good at comforting people might say. “I’m sure Bob didn’t mean it.” He offered. “People say things they don’t mean when they’re grieving… Maybe just give him some time and then try talking to him about it?”

“You really want me to risk it?” Frank asked quietly, looking at Gerard with those deep, innocent eyes of his and Gerard sighed, melting into his gaze.

“No…” He confessed quietly, feeling weak and cowardly. “No I don’t want you to… I want you to be safe. Always.”

“Then I need to stay as far away from the town as possible.” Frank shrugged, speaking like it wasn’t a big deal but Gerard’s heart was breaking at the thought.

“You mean… Alone?” He asked quietly, Frank shrugging and idly drawing patterns over Gerard’s chest.

“I have no other choice.” He sighed, trying hard not to let himself become upset again. He would supress his emotions as much as possible, and just focus on surviving until he could get back onto land. “But if I see you every night, it will make things easier. Much easier.” Frank managed a small but genuine smile, his eyes soft as he gazed into Gerard’s.

The artist sighed, wanting to complain and give another solution. One that wouldn’t involve Frank living in isolation all the time, but his mind came up blank. He wouldn’t let him risk his life, not now he knew he was safe.

Reluctantly Gerard gave in and forced a smile back, nodding his head and tenderly kissing Frank’s lips. “Alright…” He agreed, stroking his thumb beneath Frank’s eye. “I’ll be here every night, I promise you.”

Frank smiled warmly, nodding his head and relaxing slightly. Being in Gerard’s arms made him feel much better. He could cope when he was here, even if it was only for a short amount of time, in the freezing cold night. He would take just a second with Gerard if that’s all he could have, it made his heart stop hurting for as long they were together. Even if being out of the water made him feel like the air was suffocating him, he would wait long enough to feel like he was drowning before saying goodnight.

“I love you Gee…” He whispered, smiling and kissing the older man when he murmured the words back into his mouth.


Months dragged by for both Frank and Gerard. Though they saw each other most nights, whenever no one was around to witness them, it was torture spending the days without each other, especially for Frank. Being alone in the harbour, wasting every day swimming lazily about the anchors and fishing nets he began to feel incredibly lonely.

Frank knew nothing of how the other merpeople were doing, after three months he considered risking returning to the town, but Gerard seemed anxious by the idea so Frank had forgotten it. By month five the urge was almost irresistible. He hated how things had been left with Bob and he wanted to see him again before he went back on land.

Winter became spring, and spring became summer, and the final month seemed to roll around all of a sudden after a lifetime of waiting. When Frank realised he had only weeks now before he could go on land again he decided to risk going back to the town after all. This time though he didn’t suggest the idea to Gerard, not wanting him to worry.

Frank knew that when he left the ocean he would never return. He would stay with Gerard and lose his ability to metamorphose after two months together, and from then on any time in the ocean would be spent as a human with his lover. If Frank wanted a chance to make amends with Bob, he had to do it then.

Swimming deeper into the ocean than he had been since being outcast Frank began to feel nervous, the water felt colder the deeper he went but he remembered his way back perfectly. It felt good to stretch his tail and swim properly, not worrying about straying too far from the harbour. He felt alive again.

For a while Frank just swam, focusing on nothing but the muscles of his tail and the cool water being drawn through his gills. He began to feel gradually less anxious, remembering that he could swim fast when he had the space and that if anything bad happened he had a good chance that he would be able to swim away. Though it had been so long now since the fight with the Sirens, surely the animosity Bob harboured for him would have blown over by now.

Though Frank’s heart still hurt whenever he thought about Jamia and the way she had looked after the Siren fight, he had overcome his grief for her. Bob had been in love with her, Frank knew that, but it had been six months so far and Frank just hoped that had been time enough for Bob to get over the worst of his sorrow.

As Frank got closer to the town he began to slow down, using just his caudal fin to propel himself through the water. He was still feeling calm, but he knew that he should be cautious. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he reached the town, so as he reached its border he simply drifted into it, keeping as slow and silent as possible.

Though Frank hadn’t known what to expect, it was still a shock for him as he glided through the water to find that the town was silent and empty… Like a ghost town. The makeshift homes that the merpeople had created themselves were empty and lifeless, some of them even caved in. Frank looked into all of them, and swam to the drop off to inspect not only his old cave but any others he had known to be occupied, but all were empty.

Frank swam back into the centre of the town, looking around slowly and feeling his stomach sink. There was no one here. For a minute a blind panic consumed him, a million things racing through his mind and he wondered if the rest of the survivors had been killed somehow, if the Sirens had returned… But no sailors had gone missing, and after a while Frank realised with a jolt that the few possessions people had owned were also gone.

“Oh…” Frank felt a crushing disappointment hit him as he realised the merpeople must have simply moved away. He couldn’t really blame them if they had… This place held bad memories now, too many had been lost, too many homes had been left empty for it to be possible for anyone to forget what horrors they had witnessed. Of course they would have chosen to leave.

Frank felt pain slice through his heart and a sob rise in his throat. They had all gone and left him behind… Not so much as a message in a bottle left for him. He truly did have nothing left now but the human world.


The final month in the ocean passed in a dazed blur for Frank who could never quite believe that the merpeople had all gone. He spent his days worrying over them, hoping they were okay and wishing to see them again, even if only to apologise to Bob once more. But of course they never showed, and soon enough they were pushed out of his mind when on a warm, summer night he was able to leave the water at last.

Gerard made his way to the pier with a racing heart, his hands trembling as they held some clothes for Frank to change into. It didn’t feel possible that this could really be the night, and as desperate as he was to take Frank home he was trying not to get his hopes up just in case something went wrong.

Gerard had coped only by seeing Frank on all the nights he was able to, and he had come far in the year they had spent apart. After his rocky start he had recovered himself and his mermaid themed art had taken off. He was earning more money than ever, painting more than ever, and was more than ready to take his lover home.

The artist reached the pier in the hours just after midnight, as he always did, and after a quick scan to make sure no one was around he ducked beneath the rails and landed on the slim patch of sand beneath.

Frank was waiting in the shallow water when Gerard appeared and he smiled nervously at him as he leant up on his elbows.

“Gee!” He beamed, laughing quietly as Gerard dropped the clothes and waded into the water to lift Frank into his arms. They kissed deeply as Gerard carried Frank onto the sand, holding him up by the waist.

Even in the air Frank’s tail dragged in the sand, his caudal fin curling upwards at the ends where it began to dry. He paid no mind to it though, focusing instead on kissing Gerard and trying to ignore the pounding of his heart. His tail didn’t seem to be doing anything, and Frank felt sick at the thought that he may never get his legs back.

Counting down the seconds, it felt like an age for the two men before Frank suddenly gasped and threw his head back, gritting his teeth and digging his nails into Gerard’s shoulders as his tail began to split from the middle.

Gerard’s eyes widened and he held Frank out at arms-length, watching in awed silence as his tail began two halves, and then his fins disappeared and became feet, and lastly his scales seemed to sink back into his skin. The gills on his neck closed up until there was no sign that they had ever been there, and when Frank slumped into Gerard’s arms he was human again.

Gerard lowered himself down onto the sand, resting back on his knees as he held Frank gently and moved to tenderly cup his face.

“Frankie?” He whispered softly, smoothing his thumb beneath Frank’s cheekbone. For a moment Frank simply breathed deeply, but then he slowly opened his eyes and smiled at the artist. The smile was exhausted, emotional and full of relief and he fell into Gerard’s arms with a sob of delight.

“Gee!” He whimpered, crushing his lips to Gerard’s and holding him tight. He had his legs, he was human again at last and after the longest, most painful year of his life he was finally able to return to Gerard’s apartment and be with him forever.
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