Categories > Celebrities > Metallica > Ripe
The last concert was over, in the morning we would be on our way back home and I was counting the hours left. I was busy packing up Jason’s stuff when an unknown voice interrupted me; I looked up and saw a girl around seventeen with a huge mass of curly, acid green hair.
“Are you lost?” I asked. “If you are looking for the band…”
“No!” She cut me off. “Well, them too, but I wanted to talk to you, mainly.”
That took me by surprise. “Me? Why me? You want to become a roadie and need some tips?”
“No, no, I know who you are. I mean, I am a fan of yours, that’s why I’d like to talk to you.” She looked nervous and fidgeting.
“Really? You’re a Geryon fan?” She nodded. “Well, that’s great, but you cannot stay here. Why don’t you go meet the band and then wait for me? You can come back to the hotel with me so we can chat.”
Her face lightened up when I told her that, she nodded frantically with a big smile on her face. “Oh, thank you, thank you so much!” She exclaimed. Even though I wasn’t in my best mood, I didn’t feel like letting down a fan.
She turned around and skipped out of stage, when I stopped her. “Wait!” I yelled. “You didn’t tell me your name.”
“Sorry, it’s Annie! I’ll be waiting for you.”
I was kind of stupefied; I had already met some people who were both fans of mine and Metallica’s, but that girl seemed to want to meet me more than she did with Metallica. I finished my duties and looked for Annie, who was waiting next to the tech bus; she was chatting with Duncan, who didn’t miss the occasion to crack a joke.
“Are you trying to make an attempt on a teenager’s virtue, April? I thought better of you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Leave the kid alone, Duncan. Believe it or not, there’s somebody who likes my music.”
“Fine, fine, but treat her well, ok?” he said laughing. “Let’s get on the bus now.”
“My room-mates won’t come back here for a while, so we can talk in peace.” I said, taking off my jacket and kicking off my biker boots. I sat down on my bed with my legs crossed and Annie did the same. We drank (no alcohol, since she was underage), we talked, we laughed; I was having a good time, which was incredibly refreshing after all those bitter days. Annie was a very nice kid, cheerful and enthusiastic.
“The first time I saw you playing was in 1987, I was fifteen back then. I didn’t even like metal, but my boyfriend dragged me to the concert and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.” Said Annie. “I liked the music a lot, but the most special thing was watching you performing on stage; it was a trigger moment for me. For the first time, I started thinking: “God, I want to do that, that could be me, why can’t that be me?” but I was too tense to come and greet you after the concert; anyway, next day I bought a bass and taught myself how to play.”
“That’s great, it’s always flattering to be someone’s inspiration. Do you have a band? What kind of music do you play?”
“I don’t really have a band, I play with different guys from time to time. I’m into hardcore punk, mainly, and a bit into heavy metal too.” She told me. “ Listen, I know you discussed this a hundred times, but can I ask you about…”
“How does it feel to be a woman playing metal?” I interrupted her.
“Yeah, I know you must be tired of repeating it, but as a musician, I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Other people are not always accepting.”
“I understand, I have met my share of jerks too. The only thing I can tell you is that you shouldn’t care about what those people say. I mean, always listen to other people’s opinions, because they can help you improve, but don’t let anyone put you down because of your sex. When they start making sexist arguments, tell them you don’t fucking care about what they think of women.”
“It’s just that sometimes I feel insecure and doubt of myself, like I don’t belong in a hardcore band.”
“Don’t. These people may think they are the gatekeepers of music, but they’re just full of shit. You don’t knock gently on the door and ask if you –pretty please with a cherry on top– can join the big boys’ club. You have as much right as anyone else to play your music, just go ahead. Figure out what you want to do and how to do it the best way and focus on that.”
“I know I sound like a little girl, but it’s always nice to see a fellow lady hopping on stage and do her thing.”
“I understand, having a female role model gives you some sense of security.”
“Didn’t you have any when you started? I knew about Kira Roessler of Black Flag and Lorna Doom of the Germs, but never had the occasion to see them live.”
“Well, before I got into metal, I had a few. In Junior High I loved Bonnie Raitt and Nancy Wilson of Heart. But most bass players have been men, so…”
“What about when you began playing metal?”
“There were Girlschool and Wendy O. Williams, then others started around the same time I did.”
“Another thing I wanted to ask you: Are you going to start another band? It would be a pity to lose you so soon.”
“Thank you, and don’t worry, I’m not retiring yet, just wait and see. I have plans.”
When Annie had to leave, I offered to call her a taxi, but she insisted she just needed to call a friend of hers, so we waited together for her lift to come. Half an hour later, around a quarter to one, my room-mates came and dragged me to Lars’s room.
“Lars and Kirk are throwing a goodbye party and you need to come.” They said. I tried to protest, say that I wasn’t in the mood, but they were inflexible. “We’re probably never going to see you again, the last thing we can do is get flat-out wasted together. You don’t even have to talk to Kirk.” Or Lars, I hope. And James. And Leonard. And…
Kirk and Lars had connecting rooms so we all could fit in together (counting the groupies), but even then, we were packed like sardines. In the squashed, alcohol fueled mass, it turned out to be pretty easy to ignore and be ignored by unwanted people. At three in the morning, a few people had left, a few had passed out, but most could still stand on their feet or, at least, keep their eyes open. Two girls were making out on the bed and the guys had gathered around cheering them up; as the girls started taking off their clothes, I decided to take my leave, sure that nobody would notice.
I had just left when someone grabbed my elbow and made me turn on my heels. It was Jason. “Can we talk, please?” he asked.
“We already did.” I replied.
“I don’t want to leave you like that. Please, we can go to my room.”
I sighed. “I don’t know, it doesn’t sound like a good idea; someone could see us.”
“Nobody is watching us, and I don’t think anyone will ask you where you have been, in the morning. They probably won’t remember where they’ve been themselves.”
“All right, let’s go.” I didn’t know what was left to say, but he looked so sad I didn’t want to refuse him.
We went into Jason’s room and fell into an uncomfortable silence. I didn’t know what to do with myself; we were standing in front of each other carefully avoiding to cross our gazes. I looked at the window like there was something incredibly interesting going on outside. It was raining heavily.
“Well, you wanted to talk.” I said, breaking the silence. “then talk.”
Jason licked his lips and sat down on a chair, then stood up once again, rubbing his palms on his pants. “Well, I…” he coughed, “I didn’t want to, you know, just let you go away that way.”
“Which way? Jason, do you want to keep in touch with me once I’m gone? If we are discreet, we may manage it, but do you think it’s a good idea? I ruined our friendship when I seduced you.”
“You didn’t ruin our friendship! And why do you keep taking all the blame? You didn’t force yourself on me, I’m just as responsible as you.”
“Yes, but considering your crush on me…”
“You didn’t know about it. Listen, I gave it a thought, and I don’t see why we shouldn’t keep in touch. Kirk doesn’t have to know and I won’t harbor the delusion that something can happen between us, ok?”
“I don’t know, I’m ambivalent about this, I’m not sure we can make it work. God, if only I could go back in time…”
“I wouldn’t change one thing.” He stated firmly. “I don’t regret it at all and I’m sorry if you do. I mean, I understand if you do; you just needed some release and I was there, but I don’t regret it.”
“Oh, Jason, I don’t regret it because I didn’t like it; it was good, very good. I regret it because of all the mess that followed.” I said, “And you didn’t just happen to be there, I am attracted to you.” He looked at me in surprise. “I do, I’ve always considered you to be attractive, it’s just that I could easily dismiss the fact when I was with Kirk. At first, because I was completely satisfied with him and I didn’t even consider other guys as possible romantic or sexual partners. Then, because I was too concentrated on trying to save our relationship.”
Jason blushed and smiled at me, “Well, that’s good to hear.”
“But it’s another reason why I need to go away for good. Keep kicking ass with Metallica, find a woman to fall in love with, be happy. Don’t think about what could have happened between us.”
He sighed. “Can I… can I give you one last kiss?” I nodded. He cupped my face with both hands and brushed his lips against mine.
I put my arms around his waist and pulled him closer, kissing him deeper, but he pulled away when I touched him under his sweater. “April, you don’t have to.”
I snorted. “Of course I don’t have to, it’s not a service I offer. I want to. And if you want it too, this can be our last goodbye.”
Jason captured my mouth again, with more passion and force; I pushed him towards the bed and made him sit down. I took off his sweater and sat on his lap, going for his neck and jaw, kissing, sucking and nibbling, careful not to leave a mark. I was probably being paranoid, but didn’t want to risk.
We rolled on the bed, taking off each other’s clothes, hungry for more. The first time, I had left him do all the work; that time, I explored his body, caressed his skin, traced his muscles, making him writhe and moan.
I straddled him again and stroke his dick with both hands; his hips pushed up to meet my movements, he was as hard as he could be.
“Fuck, April! You better slow down, or this gonna end up soon.”
I poured some spit on his erection and gave him one last stroke before taking him. I placed one hand on his chest to get some leverage and guided him into me; I moved slowly, to feel every inch sliding in. When his cock was completely inside, I clenched my inner muscles and made him gasp. Jason’s hands were gripping the sheet so hard his knuckles turned white; his face was contorted with pleasure, but also with the strain of trying to calm himself.
I bent down over him and gently kissed his lips. I didn’t move, I was in no hurry; his hands went to my shoulders to keep me against himself. When Jason’s breath relaxed, I rose up and started rotating my hips tentatively; as I gradually sped up, his hands grabbed my hips to guide my movements. I threw my head back as I came, quickly followed by Jason; the room filled with our screams and moans, covering the noise of the rain tapping on the window.
I collapsed on him, resting my head on his chest; we were breathing heavily. Jason caressed my back lazily and I concentrated on his heartbeats. We didn’t fall asleep.
I took a shower and left Jason’s room at five-fifteen; we hugged without a word. It wasn’t necessary. A couple of people were sleeping in the hallway; I passed them by, entered my room and reached the bed, careful not to disturb my room-mates. I lied down and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the wake-up call.
My own notions go a choking my throat.
All bad thoughts still float around in a fury
luring me into one big abyss of hit and miss.
I empty all of this.
"Babes in Toyland - Ripe":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8ngO4dnUxc
Author’s note: So, this is the end. Not the happiest end possible, but they’ll all survive; Metallica will go where we all know and April will start a new band and become one of the pioneers of stoner rock/metal along with Monster Magnet, Kyuss and Sleep.
I was listening to the song quoted at the end when I came up with the ending of this story. It also provided the title.
Although the story is over, I may come back to revise it and make a few changes here and there. No sequels planned.
Thank you for having followed me; feel free to leave a comment, if you wish.
“Are you lost?” I asked. “If you are looking for the band…”
“No!” She cut me off. “Well, them too, but I wanted to talk to you, mainly.”
That took me by surprise. “Me? Why me? You want to become a roadie and need some tips?”
“No, no, I know who you are. I mean, I am a fan of yours, that’s why I’d like to talk to you.” She looked nervous and fidgeting.
“Really? You’re a Geryon fan?” She nodded. “Well, that’s great, but you cannot stay here. Why don’t you go meet the band and then wait for me? You can come back to the hotel with me so we can chat.”
Her face lightened up when I told her that, she nodded frantically with a big smile on her face. “Oh, thank you, thank you so much!” She exclaimed. Even though I wasn’t in my best mood, I didn’t feel like letting down a fan.
She turned around and skipped out of stage, when I stopped her. “Wait!” I yelled. “You didn’t tell me your name.”
“Sorry, it’s Annie! I’ll be waiting for you.”
I was kind of stupefied; I had already met some people who were both fans of mine and Metallica’s, but that girl seemed to want to meet me more than she did with Metallica. I finished my duties and looked for Annie, who was waiting next to the tech bus; she was chatting with Duncan, who didn’t miss the occasion to crack a joke.
“Are you trying to make an attempt on a teenager’s virtue, April? I thought better of you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Leave the kid alone, Duncan. Believe it or not, there’s somebody who likes my music.”
“Fine, fine, but treat her well, ok?” he said laughing. “Let’s get on the bus now.”
“My room-mates won’t come back here for a while, so we can talk in peace.” I said, taking off my jacket and kicking off my biker boots. I sat down on my bed with my legs crossed and Annie did the same. We drank (no alcohol, since she was underage), we talked, we laughed; I was having a good time, which was incredibly refreshing after all those bitter days. Annie was a very nice kid, cheerful and enthusiastic.
“The first time I saw you playing was in 1987, I was fifteen back then. I didn’t even like metal, but my boyfriend dragged me to the concert and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.” Said Annie. “I liked the music a lot, but the most special thing was watching you performing on stage; it was a trigger moment for me. For the first time, I started thinking: “God, I want to do that, that could be me, why can’t that be me?” but I was too tense to come and greet you after the concert; anyway, next day I bought a bass and taught myself how to play.”
“That’s great, it’s always flattering to be someone’s inspiration. Do you have a band? What kind of music do you play?”
“I don’t really have a band, I play with different guys from time to time. I’m into hardcore punk, mainly, and a bit into heavy metal too.” She told me. “ Listen, I know you discussed this a hundred times, but can I ask you about…”
“How does it feel to be a woman playing metal?” I interrupted her.
“Yeah, I know you must be tired of repeating it, but as a musician, I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Other people are not always accepting.”
“I understand, I have met my share of jerks too. The only thing I can tell you is that you shouldn’t care about what those people say. I mean, always listen to other people’s opinions, because they can help you improve, but don’t let anyone put you down because of your sex. When they start making sexist arguments, tell them you don’t fucking care about what they think of women.”
“It’s just that sometimes I feel insecure and doubt of myself, like I don’t belong in a hardcore band.”
“Don’t. These people may think they are the gatekeepers of music, but they’re just full of shit. You don’t knock gently on the door and ask if you –pretty please with a cherry on top– can join the big boys’ club. You have as much right as anyone else to play your music, just go ahead. Figure out what you want to do and how to do it the best way and focus on that.”
“I know I sound like a little girl, but it’s always nice to see a fellow lady hopping on stage and do her thing.”
“I understand, having a female role model gives you some sense of security.”
“Didn’t you have any when you started? I knew about Kira Roessler of Black Flag and Lorna Doom of the Germs, but never had the occasion to see them live.”
“Well, before I got into metal, I had a few. In Junior High I loved Bonnie Raitt and Nancy Wilson of Heart. But most bass players have been men, so…”
“What about when you began playing metal?”
“There were Girlschool and Wendy O. Williams, then others started around the same time I did.”
“Another thing I wanted to ask you: Are you going to start another band? It would be a pity to lose you so soon.”
“Thank you, and don’t worry, I’m not retiring yet, just wait and see. I have plans.”
When Annie had to leave, I offered to call her a taxi, but she insisted she just needed to call a friend of hers, so we waited together for her lift to come. Half an hour later, around a quarter to one, my room-mates came and dragged me to Lars’s room.
“Lars and Kirk are throwing a goodbye party and you need to come.” They said. I tried to protest, say that I wasn’t in the mood, but they were inflexible. “We’re probably never going to see you again, the last thing we can do is get flat-out wasted together. You don’t even have to talk to Kirk.” Or Lars, I hope. And James. And Leonard. And…
Kirk and Lars had connecting rooms so we all could fit in together (counting the groupies), but even then, we were packed like sardines. In the squashed, alcohol fueled mass, it turned out to be pretty easy to ignore and be ignored by unwanted people. At three in the morning, a few people had left, a few had passed out, but most could still stand on their feet or, at least, keep their eyes open. Two girls were making out on the bed and the guys had gathered around cheering them up; as the girls started taking off their clothes, I decided to take my leave, sure that nobody would notice.
I had just left when someone grabbed my elbow and made me turn on my heels. It was Jason. “Can we talk, please?” he asked.
“We already did.” I replied.
“I don’t want to leave you like that. Please, we can go to my room.”
I sighed. “I don’t know, it doesn’t sound like a good idea; someone could see us.”
“Nobody is watching us, and I don’t think anyone will ask you where you have been, in the morning. They probably won’t remember where they’ve been themselves.”
“All right, let’s go.” I didn’t know what was left to say, but he looked so sad I didn’t want to refuse him.
We went into Jason’s room and fell into an uncomfortable silence. I didn’t know what to do with myself; we were standing in front of each other carefully avoiding to cross our gazes. I looked at the window like there was something incredibly interesting going on outside. It was raining heavily.
“Well, you wanted to talk.” I said, breaking the silence. “then talk.”
Jason licked his lips and sat down on a chair, then stood up once again, rubbing his palms on his pants. “Well, I…” he coughed, “I didn’t want to, you know, just let you go away that way.”
“Which way? Jason, do you want to keep in touch with me once I’m gone? If we are discreet, we may manage it, but do you think it’s a good idea? I ruined our friendship when I seduced you.”
“You didn’t ruin our friendship! And why do you keep taking all the blame? You didn’t force yourself on me, I’m just as responsible as you.”
“Yes, but considering your crush on me…”
“You didn’t know about it. Listen, I gave it a thought, and I don’t see why we shouldn’t keep in touch. Kirk doesn’t have to know and I won’t harbor the delusion that something can happen between us, ok?”
“I don’t know, I’m ambivalent about this, I’m not sure we can make it work. God, if only I could go back in time…”
“I wouldn’t change one thing.” He stated firmly. “I don’t regret it at all and I’m sorry if you do. I mean, I understand if you do; you just needed some release and I was there, but I don’t regret it.”
“Oh, Jason, I don’t regret it because I didn’t like it; it was good, very good. I regret it because of all the mess that followed.” I said, “And you didn’t just happen to be there, I am attracted to you.” He looked at me in surprise. “I do, I’ve always considered you to be attractive, it’s just that I could easily dismiss the fact when I was with Kirk. At first, because I was completely satisfied with him and I didn’t even consider other guys as possible romantic or sexual partners. Then, because I was too concentrated on trying to save our relationship.”
Jason blushed and smiled at me, “Well, that’s good to hear.”
“But it’s another reason why I need to go away for good. Keep kicking ass with Metallica, find a woman to fall in love with, be happy. Don’t think about what could have happened between us.”
He sighed. “Can I… can I give you one last kiss?” I nodded. He cupped my face with both hands and brushed his lips against mine.
I put my arms around his waist and pulled him closer, kissing him deeper, but he pulled away when I touched him under his sweater. “April, you don’t have to.”
I snorted. “Of course I don’t have to, it’s not a service I offer. I want to. And if you want it too, this can be our last goodbye.”
Jason captured my mouth again, with more passion and force; I pushed him towards the bed and made him sit down. I took off his sweater and sat on his lap, going for his neck and jaw, kissing, sucking and nibbling, careful not to leave a mark. I was probably being paranoid, but didn’t want to risk.
We rolled on the bed, taking off each other’s clothes, hungry for more. The first time, I had left him do all the work; that time, I explored his body, caressed his skin, traced his muscles, making him writhe and moan.
I straddled him again and stroke his dick with both hands; his hips pushed up to meet my movements, he was as hard as he could be.
“Fuck, April! You better slow down, or this gonna end up soon.”
I poured some spit on his erection and gave him one last stroke before taking him. I placed one hand on his chest to get some leverage and guided him into me; I moved slowly, to feel every inch sliding in. When his cock was completely inside, I clenched my inner muscles and made him gasp. Jason’s hands were gripping the sheet so hard his knuckles turned white; his face was contorted with pleasure, but also with the strain of trying to calm himself.
I bent down over him and gently kissed his lips. I didn’t move, I was in no hurry; his hands went to my shoulders to keep me against himself. When Jason’s breath relaxed, I rose up and started rotating my hips tentatively; as I gradually sped up, his hands grabbed my hips to guide my movements. I threw my head back as I came, quickly followed by Jason; the room filled with our screams and moans, covering the noise of the rain tapping on the window.
I collapsed on him, resting my head on his chest; we were breathing heavily. Jason caressed my back lazily and I concentrated on his heartbeats. We didn’t fall asleep.
I took a shower and left Jason’s room at five-fifteen; we hugged without a word. It wasn’t necessary. A couple of people were sleeping in the hallway; I passed them by, entered my room and reached the bed, careful not to disturb my room-mates. I lied down and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the wake-up call.
My own notions go a choking my throat.
All bad thoughts still float around in a fury
luring me into one big abyss of hit and miss.
I empty all of this.
"Babes in Toyland - Ripe":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8ngO4dnUxc
Author’s note: So, this is the end. Not the happiest end possible, but they’ll all survive; Metallica will go where we all know and April will start a new band and become one of the pioneers of stoner rock/metal along with Monster Magnet, Kyuss and Sleep.
I was listening to the song quoted at the end when I came up with the ending of this story. It also provided the title.
Although the story is over, I may come back to revise it and make a few changes here and there. No sequels planned.
Thank you for having followed me; feel free to leave a comment, if you wish.
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