Categories > Cartoons > Futurama

The Replacement Delivery Crew

by KurtPikachu2001 0 reviews

While Fry, Leela, and Bender are out of the way, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg try their hand at a delivery mission.

Category: Futurama - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2013-12-31 - 2761 words - Complete

0Unrated
Futurama

Fanfic Title:

The Replacement Delivery Crew

By: Trenton Sands

Opening Credits Scene:


Futurama


Not On The Boulevard of Broken Dreams


Screen: Beavis and Butt-head



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Scene 1:


While Fry, Bender, and Leela were on a mission, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg are once again, left behind.


Amy: Oh, no!


Hermes: What is it, Amy?


Amy (holding cookie tray): My cookies for the Kappa Kappa Wong Bake Sale are undercooked!


Hermes: I thought you graduated. You're a doctor now.


Amy: I'm still a part of them....


Hermes: I know what happened to your cookies. Someone forgot the light the oven.


Amy: Who? Scruffy?


Hermes: No, more like.............ZOIDBERG!!!!


Zoidberg runs in wearing a siren hat.


Zoidberg: What's the emergency? Who started the fire? Was it Billy Joel?


Hermes: You ARE an emergency! Amy's cookies didn't cook because you forgot to light the oven!


Zoidberg: I'm afraid to light the oven! It tried to eat me!


Amy (laughs): No it didn't. Bender tried to push you in.


Zoidberg: I refuse to go near it.


Hermes: Light the oven or your fired!


Amy: And that would be no loss to us!


Zoidberg: I'd rather be fired.


Hermes (lights a match): Fine! Everytime I want something done right, I'll always have to do it myself!


Seconds later, an explosion is heard that sends Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg flying into the air.


Hermes: Sweet parking lanes of Maine!


Zoidberg runs away and Amy has a bowl of cookie dough on her head.


Amy: Why can't this ever happen to Fry, Bender, and Leela?


Zoidberg: Earthquake! Run for your lives!



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Scene 2:


Later that day, Fry, Bender, and Leela came back from the mission. The place is clean now.


Leela: We're back from the mission!


Fry: We got an oven from the Maytag planet.


Bender: I beat the crap out of that repair man there.


Farnsworth: Ah, good. You're the best delivery crew ever!


Leela: Wow, thanks! Never heard you say that before.


Fry: You usually insult us.


Bender: Fry, 90 pound people like you are insultable.


Fry: Why do you keep reminding me of how skinny I am?


Leela: Let's just install the new oven we got.


Bender and Leela go to install the oven. Meanwhile, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg walked into the conference room.


Hermes: Best delivery crew ever, huh?


Farnsworth: Got a problem with that? File a report.


Amy: My cookies got undercooked.


Zoidberg: Yes, and there was an earthquake.


Hermes: No, the oven exploded when I tried to light it.


Amy: That's right. There was a huge mess and we had to clean it up! Cookie dough was in my hair.....


Zoidberg: That oven could've ate me....


Farnsworth: What are you guys getting at?


Hermes: Why is it Fry, Bender, and Leela go on missions.....


Amy: While we're stuck here and have silly shananagens happen to us?


Hermes: Next time, _WE_ go on a mission.


Amy: Because we, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg can do better!


Zoidberg: I'm included?


Farnsworth: You guys are not the delivery crew! Now go do whatever it is you do!


Hermes: Well, looks like we have to take matters into our own hands.


Zoidberg: Last time we went on a mission, we were captured. Then we had a vision of what our lives would be like in 10 years. (see Haunted Moon Yonder for details)


Amy: That won't happen again, anyone got a plan?


Fry: What up, dawgs! The oven's installed. You can make your cookies now, Amy.


Hermes: Take your announcement somewhere else you brainless manorexic!


Fry runs away and cries.



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Scene 3:


The next day, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg were on top of a building waiting for the others to arrive.


Hermes: Got the brain slugs ready?


Amy (holding box): Check.


Hermes: Okay, here's the plan. I'll get Bender, Amy you get Leela, and Zoidberg you get Fry.


Zoidberg: I will obey you! Once we get thought with Fry, Bender, and Leela we'll throw them in a.....


Amy: Don't say it!


They all leave the top of the building once they saw Fry, Leela, and Bender.


Hermes: Since brain slugs won't work on Bender, I know a different way to get him. Wait here for furthur instructions.


Just then a hoverlimo comes Bender's way.


Bender: Wow! Awesome! A hoverlimo! I'll get Elzar or Calculon are in it and want me to hang out with them!


When Bender runs up to the hoverlimo, a window rolls down.


Bender: So long, chumps, I'm going to......


Hermes subdues Bender with a tazer. He carries Bender and throws him in a dumpster.


Zoidberg: Hope his ghost doesn't come back. Why are you throwing him in my dumpster where I live?


Amy: No surprise you live there!


Hermes (sees Leela): Okay, Amy. Get your brain slug ready. Go get Leela.


Amy: I'll be happy to get her!



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Scene 4:


Leela walks down the street to Planet Express and Amy stops her.


Amy: Leela! I need your help!


Leela: What do you need help with?


Amy: My tiny cellphone I use to call Kiff! I dropped it on the street!


Leela: Okay, no worries. We'll find it. Where did you drop it?


Amy (pointing to the street): Over there.


Leela knelt down to find the cellphone and Amy sneaks up and puts a brain slug on Leela's head. Leela was subdued.


Amy (carries Leela): Yes! I did it! I did it! Hermes!


Then Amy runs to the dumpster and throws Leela in with an unconscience Bender.


Hermes: Good job, Amy. (sees Fry) Zoidberg! Fry's coming.


Zoidberg: I see him.


Hermes: Okay, good for you. (gets in Zoidberg's face) And whatever you do, DON'T SCREW UP!!!!!


Zoidberg (salutes and hits Hermes): Aye, Aye Captain!


Hermes (kicks Zoidberg): Get out of here!


Zoidberg walks up to Fry casually as Hermes and Amy watch.


Fry: Yo, Zoid Dogg! What up?


Zoidberg: Hi, Fry. Want to walk to Planet Express together? I hate being alone.


Fry: OKay, if you really want to.


Zoidberg: So, what kind of video games are you younguns into these days?


Fry: Sonic the Hedgehog! He's the greatest video game hero ever created! I _hate_ Mario!


Zoidberg: Why don't you and I talk about this Sonic!


Fry: Well, Bender usually makes fun of me.....so......OKay!


VO: Moments Later.....


Fry: Anyway, everytime Sonic, Princess Sally and the Freedom Fighters won a battle, Dr. Robotnik would always beat up Snively for it.


Zoidberg: Wow! Sounds interesting and scary at the same time.


Fry: I like the collect the comic books and I have all the Sonic cartoons on DVD.


Hermes and Amy were watching and wondering what's keeping Zoidberg.


Amy: What's he doing?


Hermes: I don't know. we never should've trusted him, that's for sure!


Zoidberg: I got a surprise for you Fry.


Fry: Really? What is it?


Zoidberg: Just look up in the sky!


Fry: Don't see anything. What's it supposed to be?


Zoidberg puts the brain slug on Fry's head. Fry is subdued.


Zoidberg: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! In yo face! In yo face! In you face mothabeep!


Running down the street, Zoidberg carries and throws him in the dumpster along with Leela and Bender.


Hermes: What took you so long you slimy barnicale?


Amy: He's here and he did his deed.


Hermes: Now it's our turn to be the delivery crew!


Amy: Make that, Replacement Delivery Crew!


Zoidberg (chortling) Heh heh heh heh heh heh! This is gonna be cool! Huh huh huh huh huh!



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Scene 5:


With Fry, Bender, and Leela subdued, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg are about to go into Planet Express.


Amy: Splay? What do we tell the Professor?


Hermes: We'll tell him they're indisposed at the moment.


Zoidberg: What does that mean?


Amy: It means they're in the bathroom or something!


Zoidberg: OKay, gotcha! Gotcha By Golly Wow!


Hermes: That's "Betcha" By Golly Wow!


They all walk into Planet Express and se Farnsworth there.


Farnsworth: Good news, every...... What? Where's Fry, Leela, and Bender?


Amy: They can't make it today.


Hermes: Yes, there indisposed at the moment!


Zoidberg: Does that mean they're in the bathroom?


Hermes hits Zoidberg.


Zoidberg: Ouch! I have sympathy for Gilligan!


Farnsworth: Well, I guess I have no choice but to send you three.


Amy (Leela-like): What's the mission?


Scruffy comes in with a box of DVDs.


Farnsworth: You guys will send this box of DVDs to the Planet Zulu Dawn.


Zoidberg: What kind of planet is it?


Farnsworth: The planet's culture is like how Africa was in the 1800s. Shaka Zulu is the dictator there.


Hermes: We accept this mission, Zulu Dawn here we come!


And with that, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg board the Planet Express ship with Hermes flying. The ship takes off.



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Scene 6:


The Planet Express ship makes it's way to Zulu Dawn.


Zoidberg (to Amy): What up, Amy? Would you like to go out with me?


Amy: Spwell No! I already have a boyfriend!


Zoidberg (to Hermes): Hey, Hermes dude! Would you like to go to the bar and check out some hot chicks? (drinks a Slurm can).


Hermes: What the beep do you think you're doing?


Zoidberg: I'm acting like Fry! What was the mission again? Word!


Amy: We are not them, and we will not act like them!


Hermes: That's right. So go do us a solid and flush yourself down the toilet!


Zoidberg: See? You guys are acting like Leela and Bender do when they get mad at Fry!


Hermes: Okay, almost there. Prepare to land!


Amy: Yes! This is our chance to prove we can do deliveries better!


Hermes: I agree! Once they Professor sees what a good job we did.....


Zoidberg: We'll be the new crew!


Amy: Spluh! And Fry, Bender, and Leela will end up scrubbing bathrooms!


Hermes: That should be Zoidberg's job!


Zoidberg: (sighs despondently) Ohhhhhhhhhhh.


As the Planet Express ship lands in Zulu Dawn, back on Earth, Scruffy goes by a dumpster and looks. He sees Fry and Leela with brain slugs on their heads and he revives Bender with a power shocker and takes off the Brain Slugs.



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Scene 7:


Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg are in Zulu Dawn. The planet looked like an 1800s African Village.


Hermes: Once we're the new crew, Fry, Bender, and Leela will have crazy things happen to them!


They all walk into a Zulu Ritual Dance. Zoidberg joins in on it.


Hermes: Stop that right now, you're embarrasing us!


Amy: We're here to make a delivery.


Zoidberg: Here it comes....right on time! It's the ZZZOOOOOOIIIIIIDDDDDD TRAIN!


Then Shaka Zulu's head comes and stops the dance.


Shaka Zulu's Head: ZULU!


Zoidberg: ZoidLU!


Shaka Zulu's Head sees Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg.


Zulu #1: Sir, there's some outsiders here.


Zulu #2: Looks like they have something for us.


Shaka Zulu Head: Come forward to Shaka! Welcome to the Citadel!


Amy: This dude's got a bigger ego than Bender.


Hermes: Greetings kind sir. We're here from Earth and we brought you a gift.


Amy and Zoidberg open the box of DVDs.


Zoidberg: It's DVDs.


Amy: Of Al Jolsen......wait.......AL JOLSEN!


Shaka Zulu: Shaka does not approve of such offensiveness!


Zoidberg: This is a pickle guys! This is a pickle!


Shaka Zulu's Head: You three are hereby banned from the Citadel! After them!


A horn is heard and the Zulus chase Hermes, Amy, Zoidberg.



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Scene 8:


Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg continue to be chased by the Zulus. Until a priest finds them and leads them away.


Priest: Quick! Come this way!


The Priest leads them to a trailer for shelter.


Priest: So, my children. Have any sins to confess?


Hermes: Yes, I regret subduing our friends so we can go on a mission.


Priest: Ah, envy.


Zoidberg: Thank you for leading us to safety and...


Hermes: Shut up, Zoidberg! This is all your fault! All you do is hold us down!


Amy: No, spluh! If you never came with us, we'd do this mission just fine!


Priest: Hey, you're supposed to love thy neighbor!


Zoidberg: Hear that guys? You have to love me!


Priest: If you don't, you'll burn in eternal hellfire!


Zoidberg: That's right! If you don't love Zoidberg, you'll go to hell!


Just then, the Zulus ran to the trailer and tried to tip it over.


Hermes: Sweet Kawaiis of Hawaii! They found us!


Zoidberg: We're boned!


Amy: If only Fry, Bender, and Leela can save us!


Zoidberg: Did you bring that cellphone of yours?


Amy: I did (dails her cellphone): Hope they're there.


Hermes: Don't swallow it this time.


Priest: We'll have to put our faith in the Lord your friends will come. Let's pray. As I walk though the valley....



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Scene 9:


Back in NNY. Scruffy leads Fry, Bender, and Leela to Planet Express.


Bender: Can someone give me the number of that hovertruck that hit me?


Leela: What the hell happened to us?


Fry: This is what hangovers feel like. And I'm not talking Bradley Cooper.


Scruffy: I know what happened. Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg did this.


Fry: Whatever posessed them to do such a thing?


Leela: The nerve of them...


Scruffy: They got jealous of all the missions you guys go on, so the Professor let them go on one.


The vidphone rings and Bender goes to answer it.


Bender: Bender's Roadkill Grill!


Amy (over phone): Bender, Thank God!


Bender: You think I'm a God?


Hermes: No, idiot! We need you all to come to Zulu Dawn!


Zoidberg: We're in big trouble and we're not in Little China!


Bender: We'll be right over!


Leela: We don't have a ship.


Scruffy: Let you guys use my hovercraft.


Fry: We'll take it.


Fry, Bender, and Leela all go into Scruffy's hovercraft and go to Zulu Dawn.



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Scene 10 Conclusion:


Back at Zulu Dawn, the Zulus tipped over the trailer and Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg were forced out.


Priest: Don't worry. I got this.


The Priest tries to tip the trailer back over.


Priest: God, give me strength!


The Zulus all gang up on them.


Hermes: We need all the strength we can get!


Amy: Hope we don't end up on a totem pole.


Zoidberg: I'd hate to have my head on a pike.


Priest: Please Zulus. Do yourselves a favor. Obey the Lord.....


Just then, a laser blast is heard. It's Bender with a laser gun. The Priest runs away.


Bender: That's right! Obey me! Lord Bender!


The Zulus all ran away from the laser blast. Fry, Bender, and Leela run out of the hovercraft.


Leela: Are you guys okay?


Hermes: Now that you're here.


Zoidberg: We're so sorry for what we did to you.


Amy: Can you forgive us?


Fry: We do! No problem!


Bender: Not me! It'll do a lot more than sorry to undo the damage you did!


Everyone laughs.


Amy: That's our Bender!


Leela: Come guys. Let's go home.


They all boarded the hovercraft and went straight back to Earth. The next day, Fry, Bender, and Leela were ready for a mission.


Fry: Okay, Professor. Give it to us.


Leela: What's the mission?


Farnsworth: There is no mission. Because of the actions of Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg, they will make deliveries once a week. Today is the day they do so. They will only do Earthbound deliveries. I sent them to deliver a piano. So, you three take the day off!


Bender: So, anyone want to watch Mystery Science Theater 4000? We'll get hammered during it!


Leela: Sure, I'm up for it.


Fry: Cool how it made a comeback for this day and age. Bender, you remind me of Crow!


Bender: Yeah, and you remind me of a dumb, scrawny Joel! (laughs)


Fry: (sighs)


Meanwhile at an Apartment Complex, Hermes and Amy were pushing up a piano with a rope.


Hermes: Zoidberg! Take over!


Amy: We need a break! Push this up.


Zoidberg: All righty then!


Hermes: I'm glad we're doing Earthbound deliveries.


Amy: It's safer that way.


Just as Zoidberg was pushing up the piano, his claws were sweaty.


Old Lady (calling out a window): C'mon! Where's that piano already? You're all worst than those piano delivery men from Nutley!


Zoidberg: Indeed my friends! I am done with space, cold turkey! Wait! I'm going to spit on my claws!


Hermes and Amy: Zoidberg, No!


Zoidberg spat on his claws and the piano landed on him with his head sticking out. Birds flew around his head. Piano keys were on his teeth.


Hermes: Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten us into.


Amy: What do you have to say for yourself?


Zoidberg (spits out the piano keys): BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLB!!!! That's all folks!



THE END


Closing Credits

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