FicWad

Chapter 10

I stepped out of the elevator. My entire body ached. I had puked all day long. Things had spewed from every end of me. My nose was running like a faucet had been cut on. I truly felt as if I were dying or something. I craved just one tiny line of that magical powder that could make this all go away.
I had been attempting all day to apologize to Slash for going in his pockets while he was asleep. He was being quite obnoxious and unforgiving. I knew he was done with me. At least there was still Steven. I was on my way to his room now to hopefully charm him out of just one little bump. I had to get something in me soon. My symptoms kept getting worse.
I felt myself getting dizzy and grabbed the railing in the hallway for support. Steven's room was all the way at the end of the hallway. A hallway had never appeared more long. I buckled over with pain. My gag reflex kicked in and I dry heaved a few times. I knew there was nothing to come out of me now except spit or mucus. I sniffled deeply and wiped at my red running nose.
I hear the elevator opening behind me. I do my best to play it straight but I can only manage to hunch over the railing. I start to turn my head to see if Im being gawked at or if the person went the other way. In mid turn my knees buckled and gave away. I hit the floor despite desprately clutching at the railing.
"Lanessa?" I heard my name being said in a soft velvety voice. Only one person called me Lanessa. It was Izzy.
I looke up at him over my shoulder as my white knuckles still cling to the railing as if I may fall farther than the floor. His face in now void of the meanness and spite Ive come to expect. His face was narrowed and his brows ruffled with concern. Those gray eyes seemed so empathetic. He was kind enough to help me to my feet again.
"Take it you didnt score...you look like shit," he quietly remarks as he examines me closely.
Tears well up in my eyes and I dont even know why. Maybe its the pain. Maybe Im embarrassed that Izzy is seeing me like this. Maybe Im angry because I need a fix and cant get one. Maybe I hate the fact that Ive allowed myself to become addicted. Sobs soon follow. I can see Izzy's expression getting softer as he holds me up.
"Come on," he says in a soft whisper, "Ill make it stop."
Im so greatful I can only cry louder. I want it so bad, need it so much, but I cant force my feet to move.
Izzy must know this because he is soon scooping my body up in his arms and is carrying me. "Its ok," his voice rings out so soothingly. He manages to hold me still and unlock his door. He carries me inside and kicks the door shut with his foot. He lays me down gently on his bed. He starts to nervously scurry around his room bringing out dope, a bent black spoon, and a needle.
"No needles," I sniffle as I watch.
He looks to me, "You want it to stop dont you? This is all I have...its ok...I promise Ill make it go away." His face seems so trustworthy and harmless.
I nod drying my nose and my tears. I watch as he cooks up a fix on the nightstand next to me. If I can only get this pain to stop with a needle then so be it. I cant take this any longer. I watch as Izzy draws the golden liquid into the needle and lays it down. His eyes shift to me.
"Dont worry, it cools down fast." His hands reach for his belt buckle and undo it. He pulls his belt off and slides it over my arm. He wraps it around it a few times and tells me to hold it tight.
The tips of his scratchy guitar mutilated fingers glides down my arm softly feeling for a raised vein. "Such beautiful untouched veins..." I hear him draw in a sigh as his eyes float up to meet with mine. "Im sorry I have to do this."
"Im scared," I confess with a shaky voice.
"I promise I wont hurt you," he said in that pillow talk voice of his. His gray eyes dart back down to my arm. He places the tip of the needle over my vein. "You ready?" He asks me.
I nod but I wasnt sure.
I watch as my skin divots in as he gently slides the needle under my skin. He was so gentle I didnt even feel the needle pierce me. I watch as my blood instantly clouds the syringe. Izzy's eyes nervously meet with mine again. He seems hesitant to do this. "Ok...here it comes," he softly replies. "Im just giving you a little bit since you dont shoot. Its gonna hit you a lot harder than youre used to...If you feel sick theres a trash can right here by the bed."
I nod in anticipation of this pain going away. Then I start to feel him slowly push it into me. Its warm. At first its just in my arm, then Izzy removes the needle and the belt. Then the warmness exploded throughout me. I tried to focus on his beautiful gray eyes looking at me with such remorse and concern. I was powerless to hold them open.
"Its ok now," His velvet voice soothes me. I can feel him moving a strand of my hair. "Itll all be over in just a second."
"Mmmmm," I mumble feeling better already.
He softly runs the backs of his fingers down my arm, "I promised you Id make it go away...Im so sorry this happened to you Lanessa. I wish I would have done more to prevent this."
I force my eyes open. "Youve been so mean," the words trickle out of me.
"I know...and Im sorry. I probably just made everything worse." His eyes cant even look at me now. I hear one of his deep sighs, "Whyd you have to walk out on me that morning? Things would be so different right now if..."
"I didnt think Izzy stradlin wanted anything to do with some nobody like me."
I hear him huff, "Izzy Stradlin isnt even real...Hes a fucking cliche...a role to play. We are both just people..." He pauses a moment, "The first time I saw you I felt...something...something Ive never felt before. I wanted you so much...and I thought you didnt want me back..."
"Ive always had my eye on you...you just stayed so distant."
"Im not good with casual sex...I prefer a relationship...and I wasnt so sure that would be possible with you..."
"It would have been," I reply softly as I sit up feeling much better, almost normal but really high.
He tries to look at me, "You believe in second chances?"