Categories > Anime/Manga > Gintama > Odd Jobs Crack
Don't Overuse Time Skip Jokes
0 reviewsThe obligatory time skip... done a little differently.
0Unrated
Odd Jobs Crack
A Gintama thingy
by
EvilFuzzy9
... ... ... ... ...
"Jeez, aru!" yelled Kagura, sweat pouring down her face. "I feel like we've been running for two years!"
"Two years, a month, and a day!" shouted Shinpachi in reply. He was completely drenched in sweat, and so ruddy in the cheeks that he could have passed for a bespectacled tomato.
"That long?!" exclaimed Kagura, wide-eyed. "What's up with that author, aru?!"
"I don't knoooooow!" Shinpachi wailed frustratedly.
She turned her head to look at Shinpachi. She then had to fight the urge to blush.
The young samurai's clothes were clinging rather close to his form, and the front of his shirt was hanging open from the excessive amount of running they had been doing. Despite his generally nerdy demeanor, Kagura had to admit that Shinpachi's sword training was certainly doing some very nice things with his upper body. His muscles were very well defined, if not particularly bulky.
His butt was very nice too, from what she could see through his hakama. Though that might have been from the running, actually.
And now that Kagura thought about it, her own upper body also felt pretty different. And had Shinpachi grown out his hair? It was practically past his shoulders, now!
Kagura really did blush this time.
"Did you get shorter, aru?" she asked. It seemed like there was less of a height difference between them...
"Eh?" said Shinpachi. He turned his head to look at her. "What do mean, Kagu—"
His words were suddenly choked off. His eyes went as wide as dinner plates. His jaw dropped.
BO-BO-BO-BOING
Shinpachi was blown backwards by the force of a truly explosive nosebleed.
"Aru?" said Kagura confusedly. Her head followed Shinpachi's backwards flight, and she had to stop moving forward or risk whiplash we was going so far back. "Quit messing around, Patsuan. What are you doing, aru?"
Shinpachi landed in a heap in front of a melon stand. His upper lip was stained deep crimson with his nasal hemorrhaging.
"Ka...Ka...Ka-gu-ra...channnnn...!" Shinpachi squeaked, redfaced and rigid. "Y-y-you have b-b-b—!" he pointed shakily at Kagura's chest.
She looked down, following the gesture.
Her eyes widened at the sight of two ripe, round melons being smuggled in her shirt.
She blinked.
"I HAVE BOOBS, ARU!" she shouted excitedly.
"I KNOOOOOOOW!" wailed Shinpachi, sounding almost torn between being happy for Kagura and being happy for himself. "You look just like you did after that time skip arc!"
"Aru?" said Kagura. She blinked. "I DO, DON'T I?!"
She then stared at Shinpachi.
"So that's what Shin-chan would have looked like after two years...?" she murmured. Her cheeks were tinged faintly pink. "Nice... he looks like a younger version of that bishounen glasses guy in the movie..."
Shinpachi twitched.
"THAT GUY IS ME!" he snapped irritably.
Kagura's eyes widened. A bit of blood trickled from her own nose.
"...wow. I am one lucky girl, aru..." she mumbled.
"Who are you calling lucky?" Shinpachi grumbled, standing back up and brushing himself off. "Now we'll have to go and buy ourselves all new clothes..." He gave the strained front of Kagura's poor, suffering cheongsam a sidelong glance. "...especially you, Kagura-chan. You'll have to go bra-shopping with Ane—"
He cut himself off, recalling how poorly Otae had reacted when everyone but Hijikata had been given bigger boobs than her in that gender-swap fiasco.
"—er, on second thought, maybe we should think of someone else..." he murmured sheepishly.
Then he averted his gaze, sheepish, when he felt an unseasonably chilly wind blow down this Kabukicho alley.
"Brrr..." Kagura shivered, crossing her arms under her chest. "I'm cold, aru..."
Shinpachi blushed redder than a beet.
A bit more blood trickled from his nostrils.
"I...I wonder if we were the only ones affected by this timeskip...?" he mumbled half to himself.
... ... ... ... ...
"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE WERE THE ONLY ONES AFFECTED BY THE TIMESKIP!" Shinpachi roared in frustration.
"I don't see what's so bad about that, aru," said Kagura. "That means the author only has to describe our own changed appearances."
Shinpachi leveled a dark look at Kagura.
"Okay, Kagura-chan?" he said, eyes narrowed nearly into slits. "Two things. One: I am the only one whose new look needs to be described. You look exactly the same way you did in the time skip episode. You even have the exact same goggles, now!"
"I do, aru~!" singsonged Kagura cheerfully, fiddling with said protective eyewear.
"And," continued Shinpachi, "Two: MY OWN SISTER DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME!" he wailed, tearing at his hair (which had been trimmed down and tied off into a ponytail).
"Isn't that a good thing?" wondered Kagura. "She was pretty mad at us last chapter, aru."
"THE LAST CHAPTER WAS TWO YEARS AGOOOOO!" shouted Shinpachi frustratedly.
"For us and the author, maybe," said Kagura. She paused, thoughtful. "And the readers too, I guess. Aru."
Shinpachi sighed. He shook his head, taking deep, calming breaths.
"Okay," he said. "We can handle this. Sure, we're suddenly two years older—"
"—Hey, aru!" Kagura exclaimed, face brightening with a smile. "Maybe we got stronger?" she said. "If we spent those two years training, aru!"
"We didn't spend them training, Kagura-chan!" said Shinpachi, looked exasperated.
"Running is a kind of training, aru!" she retorted.
Shinpachi threw up his hands. "Okay! So maybe we have better cardio," he said. "But that wouldn't make us any better fighters!"
Kagura smiled. Her eyes glinted savagely, and she brandished her umbrella.
"There's only one way to be sure of that, aru," she said dangerously. "You up to a match, Patsuan~?"
Shinpachi gulped.
"Um, we just finished sparring last chapter?" he said, feeling uncomfortably aware of the fact that he did not have any kind of sword or remotely sword-like weapon on him.
Kagura's grin turned downright vicious.
"Last chapter was two years ago, Shin-chan~!"
She swung her umbrella, completely destroying a nearby storefront just with the air pressure from her swing.
Shinpachi naturally did the brave thing and turned tail to run like hell.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, running down the street. "HEEEEEELP! HEEEEEEEELP!"
Kagura joined pursuit after him.
"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU, ARU!" she shouted, gleefully ferocious.
A Gintama thingy
by
EvilFuzzy9
... ... ... ... ...
"Jeez, aru!" yelled Kagura, sweat pouring down her face. "I feel like we've been running for two years!"
"Two years, a month, and a day!" shouted Shinpachi in reply. He was completely drenched in sweat, and so ruddy in the cheeks that he could have passed for a bespectacled tomato.
"That long?!" exclaimed Kagura, wide-eyed. "What's up with that author, aru?!"
"I don't knoooooow!" Shinpachi wailed frustratedly.
She turned her head to look at Shinpachi. She then had to fight the urge to blush.
The young samurai's clothes were clinging rather close to his form, and the front of his shirt was hanging open from the excessive amount of running they had been doing. Despite his generally nerdy demeanor, Kagura had to admit that Shinpachi's sword training was certainly doing some very nice things with his upper body. His muscles were very well defined, if not particularly bulky.
His butt was very nice too, from what she could see through his hakama. Though that might have been from the running, actually.
And now that Kagura thought about it, her own upper body also felt pretty different. And had Shinpachi grown out his hair? It was practically past his shoulders, now!
Kagura really did blush this time.
"Did you get shorter, aru?" she asked. It seemed like there was less of a height difference between them...
"Eh?" said Shinpachi. He turned his head to look at her. "What do mean, Kagu—"
His words were suddenly choked off. His eyes went as wide as dinner plates. His jaw dropped.
BO-BO-BO-BOING
Shinpachi was blown backwards by the force of a truly explosive nosebleed.
"Aru?" said Kagura confusedly. Her head followed Shinpachi's backwards flight, and she had to stop moving forward or risk whiplash we was going so far back. "Quit messing around, Patsuan. What are you doing, aru?"
Shinpachi landed in a heap in front of a melon stand. His upper lip was stained deep crimson with his nasal hemorrhaging.
"Ka...Ka...Ka-gu-ra...channnnn...!" Shinpachi squeaked, redfaced and rigid. "Y-y-you have b-b-b—!" he pointed shakily at Kagura's chest.
She looked down, following the gesture.
Her eyes widened at the sight of two ripe, round melons being smuggled in her shirt.
She blinked.
"I HAVE BOOBS, ARU!" she shouted excitedly.
"I KNOOOOOOOW!" wailed Shinpachi, sounding almost torn between being happy for Kagura and being happy for himself. "You look just like you did after that time skip arc!"
"Aru?" said Kagura. She blinked. "I DO, DON'T I?!"
She then stared at Shinpachi.
"So that's what Shin-chan would have looked like after two years...?" she murmured. Her cheeks were tinged faintly pink. "Nice... he looks like a younger version of that bishounen glasses guy in the movie..."
Shinpachi twitched.
"THAT GUY IS ME!" he snapped irritably.
Kagura's eyes widened. A bit of blood trickled from her own nose.
"...wow. I am one lucky girl, aru..." she mumbled.
"Who are you calling lucky?" Shinpachi grumbled, standing back up and brushing himself off. "Now we'll have to go and buy ourselves all new clothes..." He gave the strained front of Kagura's poor, suffering cheongsam a sidelong glance. "...especially you, Kagura-chan. You'll have to go bra-shopping with Ane—"
He cut himself off, recalling how poorly Otae had reacted when everyone but Hijikata had been given bigger boobs than her in that gender-swap fiasco.
"—er, on second thought, maybe we should think of someone else..." he murmured sheepishly.
Then he averted his gaze, sheepish, when he felt an unseasonably chilly wind blow down this Kabukicho alley.
"Brrr..." Kagura shivered, crossing her arms under her chest. "I'm cold, aru..."
Shinpachi blushed redder than a beet.
A bit more blood trickled from his nostrils.
"I...I wonder if we were the only ones affected by this timeskip...?" he mumbled half to himself.
... ... ... ... ...
"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE WERE THE ONLY ONES AFFECTED BY THE TIMESKIP!" Shinpachi roared in frustration.
"I don't see what's so bad about that, aru," said Kagura. "That means the author only has to describe our own changed appearances."
Shinpachi leveled a dark look at Kagura.
"Okay, Kagura-chan?" he said, eyes narrowed nearly into slits. "Two things. One: I am the only one whose new look needs to be described. You look exactly the same way you did in the time skip episode. You even have the exact same goggles, now!"
"I do, aru~!" singsonged Kagura cheerfully, fiddling with said protective eyewear.
"And," continued Shinpachi, "Two: MY OWN SISTER DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME!" he wailed, tearing at his hair (which had been trimmed down and tied off into a ponytail).
"Isn't that a good thing?" wondered Kagura. "She was pretty mad at us last chapter, aru."
"THE LAST CHAPTER WAS TWO YEARS AGOOOOO!" shouted Shinpachi frustratedly.
"For us and the author, maybe," said Kagura. She paused, thoughtful. "And the readers too, I guess. Aru."
Shinpachi sighed. He shook his head, taking deep, calming breaths.
"Okay," he said. "We can handle this. Sure, we're suddenly two years older—"
"—Hey, aru!" Kagura exclaimed, face brightening with a smile. "Maybe we got stronger?" she said. "If we spent those two years training, aru!"
"We didn't spend them training, Kagura-chan!" said Shinpachi, looked exasperated.
"Running is a kind of training, aru!" she retorted.
Shinpachi threw up his hands. "Okay! So maybe we have better cardio," he said. "But that wouldn't make us any better fighters!"
Kagura smiled. Her eyes glinted savagely, and she brandished her umbrella.
"There's only one way to be sure of that, aru," she said dangerously. "You up to a match, Patsuan~?"
Shinpachi gulped.
"Um, we just finished sparring last chapter?" he said, feeling uncomfortably aware of the fact that he did not have any kind of sword or remotely sword-like weapon on him.
Kagura's grin turned downright vicious.
"Last chapter was two years ago, Shin-chan~!"
She swung her umbrella, completely destroying a nearby storefront just with the air pressure from her swing.
Shinpachi naturally did the brave thing and turned tail to run like hell.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, running down the street. "HEEEEEELP! HEEEEEEEELP!"
Kagura joined pursuit after him.
"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU, ARU!" she shouted, gleefully ferocious.
A/N: One of the fans of this, reviewing an A:TLA fic of mine, suggested a time skip as a way to speed up finishing this story. That was a few months ago.
But it really has been two years since the last update of this fic! And ShinKagu is still a mindbogglingly nonexistent pairing on this site. Also, almost NO Shinpachi-centric fics, either. Most of the recent ones that do list him as a character, it's just as a minor one.
Clearly, it is up to this particular lunatic to DO SOMETHING about that.
Namely?
MAYBE FINISH THIS FIC, I DON'T KNOW. IT STILL HOLDS UP REALLY WELL TO ME, SMALL ERRORS ASIDE, AND SOME OF THE BETTER CHAPTERS OF IT STILL GAVE ME SOME GUTBUSTING LAUGHS, SO IT'S NOT LIKE I'D BE EMBARRASSING MYSELF BY UPDATING THIS, PLUS I COULD ALWAYS USE SOME NON-SMUT TO WORK ON TO MAKE SURE I'M NOT COMPLETELY PIGEON-HOLED
AND STUFF
Updated: 2-3-14 (last update was 1-2-12)
TTFN and R&R!
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