(#) bride_of_nickula 2005-09-24Firstly, the present tense and almost script format is a little off-putting. It's sometimes hard to visualise who's talking when it's almost all dialogue.
Oh, and "mom" isn't used in the UK. American characters would use it, but I doubt if Andrea would.
However, the storyline is intriguing enough for me to want to find out what happens next!
The cross-over is a difficult format to do well, so I hope you can pull it off.
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