Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Unexpected
Chapter 21
IZZY'S POV
Fuck. The measly little fix Nikki gave me aint cutting it. I wish he would just go away.
"So I guess you should know that Lanessa's on the way," he looks at me with that demented sadist gring of his. "Should be pretty intense. Guess you could use a drink." He pulls himself up by the pole and makes his way to his dresser. I watch as he pulls out an entire, unopened bottle of Jack. "That oughta do it," he smirks tossing it to me. It would have smashed into the wall if I wouldnt have caught it. "Nice reflexes Iz...you really wanted that didnt you."
I quickly uncap the bottle and take down a guzzle. I still fucking hate Nikki though. "That wife of yours can bee quite the hellcat when shes pissed," Nikki says to me with that all too happy smile on his face. Its too god damn reminicent for my liking. After I finish this bottle Im going to permanently take it from his smart ass face.
"I dont need you to tell me about my god damn wife man."
Nikki holds his hands in the air, "Just saying..."
Then the air is filled with the strangest sound. Is it his doorbell? Is that tune the fucking funeral march?
Nikki looks to me and smiles sarcastically. "Ah...there she is now."
Nikki leaves to go let her in and my stomach starts to tie in knots. What the fuck kind of lie could I come up with. I couldnt. All I could tell her to explain was the truth. Im a junkie...its what we do. But then, maybe she got that already. She had been around plenty of junkies, me, Slash, Steven, and this piece of shit. I take another guzzle before I see her standing in the doorway.
Its hard to read her expression. She doesnt even have one. I can see her looking me over. I know I look like shit. Shes not moving, not saying one word. I take another chug of liquid courage. Well since shes not gonna break the ice I will. "So you fucked Motley Crue huh?"
She looks at me, "So you fucked hundreds of groupies huh? Probably some in the 10 days since you fucking ran off."
I shake my head no, "I told you I dont cheat Lanessa."
"So is this how its gonna be Iz? We just go back to being junkies?"
My eyes fall to the floor. "I cant do it," I almost whisper. "It always comes knocking at my door."
"Izzy I want it too...but I thought we both wanted more than this."
I softly repeat myself, I cant fucking do it...I can maintain...I swear to you...just chipping. I wont let us get like we were again...I promise."
"I cant believe youre saying this shit Iz...Im happy to be clean. I dont want fucking smack anymore."
Ok...so what do I say to that. I know she wants me to quit too...but I cant fucking do it. There's no way I can tour with the guys sober. I look over to her, "Baby...I cant do it. If you want to leave me I understand...But I just cant do it."
She walks in and shuts the door. she makes her way to the bed and sits next to me. "Izzy..." she says with a long pause, "Im pregnant."
My eyes dart up to her face. "What?" I faintly choke out.
"Im pregnant."
Jesus fucking christ. "Since when?"
"Since Christmas. I was gonna tell you after we detoxed."
Im a loss of words. I dont know how I feel about this at all. Ive never given a second thought to kids before. Not even sure if I like them. Fuck me. What do I say to her? What can I say? I know this is supposed to change thing, but what are they? "A baby?"
She nods with a smile. Fuck. That means shes happy about it.
"Wasnt planning on that happening so soon."
"Arent you happy? Isnt that a reason to get sober?"
Yeah, it was a reason to get sober but I didnt want to. Was I happy? I couldnt even comprehend it. How could I be happy?
"We never talked about kids." I say looing back down.
"Yeah well sometimes these things happen unexpectedly."
I slightly huff.
"So are you saying you dont want it?"
I can hear the hurt in her voice. "No," I say, "you just sort of dropped a bomb on me here. I gotta let it sink in."
"Will you come back to Indiana with me?" She asks softly.
I cant go back there and detox again. I just cant fucking do it. Im weak. I fucking love smack...apparently more than my wife and kid. "I cant," I shake my head. I know shes gonna start crying and shit now. She surprises me and doesnt.
"Then can we at least get the fuck out of Nikki's house?"
I look to her and nod, "Gladly."
So we left and I had to watch her graciously hug and thank Nikki for all that he had done. Fucking prick. As she hugs him he gives me a smirk that says 'I had her first'. Like I need reminding. I would never get the mental image of her gang banging him and the other crue fucks out of my head. God damnit I fucking hat Nikki Sixx.
So I took Lanessa to my house. I myself hadnt been there in months. It was pretty dusty. Lanessa walked around looking at my things. I had basically your typical bachelor pad with a bar, hot tub, king sized bed, and an arcade. I also had a half pipe in the back yard. I had black leather furniture and practically bare walls.
"This suits you," I hear her say as I go straight for the bar. I assume she wants to talk now. Fuck what do I say to her? And goddamnit shes pregnant. I seriously never saw that one coming. Why had she waited so long to tell me. A part of my brain wanted to say it wasnt mine, but I knew it was. Fuck. Not ay all looking forward to this conversation. Damn...do I have dope stashed anywhere in here?
IZZY'S POV
Fuck. The measly little fix Nikki gave me aint cutting it. I wish he would just go away.
"So I guess you should know that Lanessa's on the way," he looks at me with that demented sadist gring of his. "Should be pretty intense. Guess you could use a drink." He pulls himself up by the pole and makes his way to his dresser. I watch as he pulls out an entire, unopened bottle of Jack. "That oughta do it," he smirks tossing it to me. It would have smashed into the wall if I wouldnt have caught it. "Nice reflexes Iz...you really wanted that didnt you."
I quickly uncap the bottle and take down a guzzle. I still fucking hate Nikki though. "That wife of yours can bee quite the hellcat when shes pissed," Nikki says to me with that all too happy smile on his face. Its too god damn reminicent for my liking. After I finish this bottle Im going to permanently take it from his smart ass face.
"I dont need you to tell me about my god damn wife man."
Nikki holds his hands in the air, "Just saying..."
Then the air is filled with the strangest sound. Is it his doorbell? Is that tune the fucking funeral march?
Nikki looks to me and smiles sarcastically. "Ah...there she is now."
Nikki leaves to go let her in and my stomach starts to tie in knots. What the fuck kind of lie could I come up with. I couldnt. All I could tell her to explain was the truth. Im a junkie...its what we do. But then, maybe she got that already. She had been around plenty of junkies, me, Slash, Steven, and this piece of shit. I take another guzzle before I see her standing in the doorway.
Its hard to read her expression. She doesnt even have one. I can see her looking me over. I know I look like shit. Shes not moving, not saying one word. I take another chug of liquid courage. Well since shes not gonna break the ice I will. "So you fucked Motley Crue huh?"
She looks at me, "So you fucked hundreds of groupies huh? Probably some in the 10 days since you fucking ran off."
I shake my head no, "I told you I dont cheat Lanessa."
"So is this how its gonna be Iz? We just go back to being junkies?"
My eyes fall to the floor. "I cant do it," I almost whisper. "It always comes knocking at my door."
"Izzy I want it too...but I thought we both wanted more than this."
I softly repeat myself, I cant fucking do it...I can maintain...I swear to you...just chipping. I wont let us get like we were again...I promise."
"I cant believe youre saying this shit Iz...Im happy to be clean. I dont want fucking smack anymore."
Ok...so what do I say to that. I know she wants me to quit too...but I cant fucking do it. There's no way I can tour with the guys sober. I look over to her, "Baby...I cant do it. If you want to leave me I understand...But I just cant do it."
She walks in and shuts the door. she makes her way to the bed and sits next to me. "Izzy..." she says with a long pause, "Im pregnant."
My eyes dart up to her face. "What?" I faintly choke out.
"Im pregnant."
Jesus fucking christ. "Since when?"
"Since Christmas. I was gonna tell you after we detoxed."
Im a loss of words. I dont know how I feel about this at all. Ive never given a second thought to kids before. Not even sure if I like them. Fuck me. What do I say to her? What can I say? I know this is supposed to change thing, but what are they? "A baby?"
She nods with a smile. Fuck. That means shes happy about it.
"Wasnt planning on that happening so soon."
"Arent you happy? Isnt that a reason to get sober?"
Yeah, it was a reason to get sober but I didnt want to. Was I happy? I couldnt even comprehend it. How could I be happy?
"We never talked about kids." I say looing back down.
"Yeah well sometimes these things happen unexpectedly."
I slightly huff.
"So are you saying you dont want it?"
I can hear the hurt in her voice. "No," I say, "you just sort of dropped a bomb on me here. I gotta let it sink in."
"Will you come back to Indiana with me?" She asks softly.
I cant go back there and detox again. I just cant fucking do it. Im weak. I fucking love smack...apparently more than my wife and kid. "I cant," I shake my head. I know shes gonna start crying and shit now. She surprises me and doesnt.
"Then can we at least get the fuck out of Nikki's house?"
I look to her and nod, "Gladly."
So we left and I had to watch her graciously hug and thank Nikki for all that he had done. Fucking prick. As she hugs him he gives me a smirk that says 'I had her first'. Like I need reminding. I would never get the mental image of her gang banging him and the other crue fucks out of my head. God damnit I fucking hat Nikki Sixx.
So I took Lanessa to my house. I myself hadnt been there in months. It was pretty dusty. Lanessa walked around looking at my things. I had basically your typical bachelor pad with a bar, hot tub, king sized bed, and an arcade. I also had a half pipe in the back yard. I had black leather furniture and practically bare walls.
"This suits you," I hear her say as I go straight for the bar. I assume she wants to talk now. Fuck what do I say to her? And goddamnit shes pregnant. I seriously never saw that one coming. Why had she waited so long to tell me. A part of my brain wanted to say it wasnt mine, but I knew it was. Fuck. Not ay all looking forward to this conversation. Damn...do I have dope stashed anywhere in here?
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