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The Lawndale Review and After
0 reviewsDaria’s vision for The Lawndale Review continues with the second and final acts, and the aftermath.
2Insightful
Tigresses of Lawndale – 18 – The Lawndale Review and After
By Dr T
Daria’s vision for The Lawndale Review continues with the second and final acts, and the aftermath.
*
NOTE: All the musical numbers are available on youtube if any readers are unfamiliar with them. Thor and Mack’s number in Act II should especially be found to get the full effect.
*
THE LAWNDALE REVIEW: Act II
The audience had made their way out, either to stretch their legs or visit the rest rooms. The program notes for the first act were, as Daria had told them, awaiting the audience members. Because of the timer showing on the side screens, nearly everyone had made it back to their seats when the lights started flash, reminding them that the second act was about start.
The curtains opened, showing a largely blank stage, with only the furthest scenery rod down, giving the largest possible space. The back scenery was a trompe-d’oeil designed by Jane, seemingly extending the stage floor to the faux back wall, as if it was a mostly empty ball room. To the back of stage (still on the left) was a slightly larger band stand, as the instrumentalists of the first act were now joined by a dozen string players from the Lawndale High orchestra. The side screens now displayed the message ‘Classical Lawndale’ for twenty seconds, and then changed to ‘A Display of Dancing’.
The orchestra struck up a Strauss waltz, Wiener Blut. After a few bars, Tori, dressed in an Edwardian ball gown, and Ted, dressed in full evening dress right down to the tails, waltzed onto the stage. They were followed by Mack and Daria, then Thor and Jodie, Jeffey and Quinn, Matthew and Brittany (Quinn had been surprised the boy she thought of as a very cute but quiet geek could ballroom dance), and finally John and Jessica. As the six couples glided gracefully around the stage, the music changed to an instrumental version of Hernado’s Hideaway from the first act and the couples changed partners. It was during a twirl in this song that Daria’s ball gown spun up to her ankles, making Helen give a little gasp, as her daughter was wearing heels – only one inch heels, but heels nevertheless.
The tango gave way to Strauss’ Wine, Women, & Song and another switch of partners and then into The Blue Danube and another partner switch. The final partner switch made the partners Jeffey and Tori, Thor and Daria, Mack and Jodie, Ted and Jessica, John and Brittany, and Matthew and Quinn. It was one of the most famous tangos, La cumparsita. This time, three of the couples stayed well upstage and danced a very straightforward tango. Matthew and Quinn, Mack and Jodie, and especially Thor and Daria danced much more physically intimate versions, and Thor used his strength to dip and support Daria very well, Daria’s hair whipping around at times. Had she been wearing her glasses instead of her contacts, they certainly would have flown off.
The six couples took two sets of well-earned bows before exiting the stage. Then Kevin and three of his offensive linemen brought out two stools and a plain table, setting them in the middle of the stage. One held a long piece of wood, and showed that piano keys had been painted on it before setting in on the table. As the four exited, the side screens changed to The Lawndale Trio. Joey, Jamie, and Stacy then walked out, the first two in tuxedoes and Stacy in a prom dress. All three, however, were wearing football helmets. Stacy sat facing the table, Jamie sat on the other stool (in the center) while Joey, holding timpani mallets, stood on the other side of Jamie, who had a long conductor’s baton. All three then slumped, as if they were puppets at rest.
Then Thor, John, Matthew, and Ted walked on stage and stood next to the band stand. A few in the audience were already giggling.
The four then sang out four notes in turn, holding their notes as the others joined to make a major chord:
Thor: Do!
John: Mi!
Matthew: Sol!
Ted: Do!
The percussion section then started up, and the group gave a very spirited rendition of the Ernie Kovacs Nairobi Trio comedy routine, to the amusement and applause of the audience.
Two of the same four football players came out and removed the ‘set’ for the Trio. The orchestra then struck up a merry but simple tune, and the side screens changed to Three Little Maids. The orchestra played the brief intro theme, and when the tune reprised, Quinn, Jodie, and Daria came skipping out, dressed as Lawndale cheerleaders, right down to the pom poms and saddle shoes. Five other singers, also dressed as cheerleaders, filed in skipping before the backdrop.
Quinn, Jodie, Daria:
Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a school-girl well can be,
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,
Three little maids from school!
Quinn
Everything is a source of fun. (Titters)
Daria
Nobody's safe, for we care for none! (Chuckles)
Jodie
Life is a joke that's just begun! (Laughs)
Quinn, Daria, Jodie
Three little maids from school!
Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary
Three little maids from school!
Three little maids from school!
Quinn
One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum
Daria
Two little maids in attendance come
Jodie
Three little maids is the total sum.
Quinn, Daria, Jodie
Three little maids from school!
Quinn
From three little maids take one away
Daria
Two little maids remain, and they
Jodie
Won't have to wait very long, they say
Quinn, Daria, Jodie
Three little maids from school!
Girls
Three little maids from school!
Quinn, Daria, Jodie and girls
Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary
Quinn, Daria, Jodie
Three little maids from school!
Quinn, Daria, Jodie and girls
Three little maids from school!
The trio upfront curtsied, followed by the ‘chorus.’ The chorus and Quinn filed off-stage while Daria and Jodie walked off-stage on the opposite side, in front of the band stand. As they all moved, Kevin came out from behind the bandstand pulling a loaded hand-truck. After a little maneuvering, he got the hand-truck into position and let down its covered load. He then exited the stage. The side screen’s now just read ‘Verdi.’
Thor and Mack walked on stage, followed by Stacy and, with her hands hidden behind her, Jane. Thor and Mack were still wearing their tail coats, but had taken off their ties, shirts, and cummerbunds, and were now wearing bright white ‘muscle’ t-shirts. Stacy whisked off the cover, displaying a large anvil, and the side-screens obligingly changed to Anvil Chorus from Verdi’s il trovatore. As the orchestra struck up the music, Thor and Mack stripped off their jackets and handed them to Stacy. Jane presented each teen with a ball peen hammer, and then the girls left the stage. Mack and Thor played the percussion part perfectly through the first time through the music.
As the music started the second time through, Jane and Stacy returned. Mack and Thor stripped off their t-shirts to the delighted hoots from the audience, and Jane and Stacy took their t-shirts and hammers off stage. As they left, a grinning Kevin came out with small sledge hammers, which the two used for the second run through. Musically, it made no difference, but many enjoyed the sight.
Mack and Thor had to take three bows as the stage was cleared. Then Tori, still in her Edwardian gown, came out to sing three Gilbert and Sullivan ballads (Poor Wand’ring One from Pirates of Penzance, Sorry her lot who loves too well from HMS Pinafore, and The sun whose rays are all ablaze from The Miakdo).
When Tori finished, eleven of the most athletic singers Thor could find in the school accompanied him on to the stage dressed as pirates and with wooden swords in hand. They then did a rousing version of With Cat-like Tread to end the second act. All-in-all, Ms Li was happier with the second act than the first, despite the display of beefcake, and was especially happy that this was a one-time performance.
*
Act Two:
Five dances: Strauss’ Wiener Blut; Wine, Women, & Song, and Blue Danube; Hernando’s Hideaway from the musical Pajama Game, music and lyrics by Adler and Ross; La cumparsita by Gerardo Matos Rodriguez.
‘Lawndale Trio’ – Solfeggio by Robert Maxwell, Nairobi Trio sketch created by Ernie Kovacs
Three Little Maids from The Miakdo by Gilbert & Sullivan
Anvil Chorus – from the opera il trovatore by Giuseppe Verdi – at least on youtube, this particular staging seems favored by gay men’s choirs.
Poor Wand’ring One from Pirates of Penzance, Sorry her lot who loves too well from HMS Pinafore, and The sun whose rays are all ablaze from The Miakdo, all by Gilbert & Sullivan
With Cat-like Tread from Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert & Sullivan
*
LAWNDALE REVIEW: Act III
As the timer on the screen ran down towards the end of the second intermission, the curtains opened about a quarter of the way to a totally darkened stage and the side screens went temporarily dark as well. Daria walked out, wearing a long dressing gown and sandals. “Welcome to our final act. As I mentioned in the opening number, it’s cold outside, at least for Maryland in March. We might even suffer from a late ice storm tomorrow.” Daria gave a little shiver. “To take our minds off things, we take you in the last act far away – the place is Southern California, the time is nearly forty years ago.”
Ms Li paled as she glanced over to DeMartino, who was grinning like a maniac as he stood off to the side of the first row.
Sure enough, the curtains fully opened and the lights came up, revealing a ‘beach’ with an ocean backdrop. Instead of the bandstand, there was a small platform with four guitarists, a bass player, a keyboardist, and three percussionists. Daria walked over and removed her robe, showing her in a very conservative two piece swim suit. “Hit it!” she commanded.
The side screens lit up with Lawndale Spring Break – At the Beach for ten seconds, and then as the band struck up the theme tune to Beach Blanket Bingo, seventeen other teens joined Daria on stage to sing and dance the tune.
As the teens sang and gyrated in their swim wear (no thongs, but still fairly typical California two piece suits for the girls, which made Li frown), the only good thing Ms Li could find in the performance, other than acknowledging it was well-done, was that they hadn’t chosen the theme of How to Stuff a Wild Bikini.
When the theme song ended, half of the teens sat in couples on the ‘beach’ and ‘talked’, while the others milled about in the background, doing the same. Four of the male members of the select choir split off and did an a cappella version of the Beach Boys’ Sloop John B.
After the applause died down, the ‘beach goers’ all started moving slowly around the stage for about thirty seconds, again in couples. By then, the nine couples had formed a pattern which would bring them around the stage. As each couple came to the front and started slowly walking down the stage, they took turns singing Wouldn’t it be nice? – also by the Beach Boys. When that song of teenage longing was over, the couples kept going until Thor and Daria again started the lead walk. Then Thor pulled Daria to the front of the stage, and as they promenaded slowly back, he sang Under the Boardwalk to her.
In the audience, Jake was very affected by seeing Daria and Quinn in the Wouldn’t it be nice? number. He had slowly starting letting Daria go that afternoon the previous June when he had left her and Jane at the art colony. He knew that when she left for Ashfield this coming summer, she would be gone as an everyday part of his life, as she and Jane would be heading to Boston from camp, not coming back to Lawndale. Now he saw that Quinn would be starting to break away as well.
His physical heart was now strong, but his emotional heart broke a little bit more.
Helen, on the other hand, was very pleased with Thor’s serenade, or at least the look of affection Daria was giving him as he sang to her. Daria had shown this night that she could act, but Helen doubted she was that good an actress. She had suspected for weeks that the two were sexually active in some manner, but to her surprise, she was not worried about it. Daria had come almost completely out of her shell over the previous year, and Helen doubted she would be making any life-altering mistakes. She could even accept Daria’s occasional flirtations with Jane, as it was clear that Jane was interested in John.
Helen sat back and enjoyed both the song and the look on her daughter’s face. She had always wondered if Daria had kept her emotions hidden for so long because the only real alternative was to wear them on her sleeve, and she decided that was a good explanation.
Thor’s serenade ended, and the couple moved back to the other couples. Tori, Ted, and another couple now came forward and sang the Mamas and the Papas song California Dreamin’, while the rest of the couples swayed to the tune, the boys holding the girls from behind. Only Helen noticed that Quinn and her ‘date’ slipping off stage soon after the song had begun.
The girls left on stage then retreated towards the rear and the boys lined up opposite the musicians for the next number.
Boys:
She was afraid to come out of the locker
she was as nervous as she could be
she was afraid to come out of the locker
she was afraid that somebody would see
Girls:
Two three four
tell the people what she wore
All:
It was an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
that she wore for the first time today
At that point, Jane and Stacy came out from opposite wings and started to dance up stage. Both, of course, wore polka dot two piece swim suits.
an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
so in the locker she wanted to stay
Jane and Stacy froze, and the song continued.
Girls:
Two three four
stick around we’ll tell you more
Quinn and Brittany poked their heads out from opposite wings, while Jane and Stacy stayed frozen. Then Quinn and Brittany walked to towards the apron with blankets over their shoulders and mimicked the actions to the verse.
Boys:
She was afraid to come out in the open
so a blanket around her she wore
she was afraid to come out in the open
and so she sat bundled up on the shore
Girls:
Two three four
tell the people what she wore
All: (With Quinn and Brittany standing up and dropping the blankets and dancing [to the applause of most of the males in the audience], with Jane and Stacy joining in.)
It was an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
that she wore for the first time today
an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
so in the blanket she wanted to stay
Girls:
Two three four
stick around we’ll tell you more
Boys:
Now she's afraid to come out of the water
and I wonder what she's gunna do
now she's afraid to come out of the water
and the poor little girl’s turning blue
Girls:
Two three four
tell the people what she wore
Tiffany and Leah now came out, hand and hand before separating, Tiffany dancing between Stacy and Quinn, Leah between Jane and Brittany.
All:
It was an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
that she wore for the first time today
an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
so in the water she wanted to stay
From the locker to the blanket
from the blanket to the shore
from the shore to the water
yes there isn't any more
After the applause died down, Daria stepped up to the front of the stage. “Ah, spring break.” She sighed and said, “There’s one thing better, and that will occur in just a few months!”
With that, the cast sang the finale, (School’s Out for Summer!) which was accepted with generous applause, as were the curtain calls. Daria was surprised that she earned as much applause as any of the rest of the cast.
*
Act Three
Beach Blanket Bingo – theme from the movie Beach Blanket Bingo, words and music by Guy Hemric and Jerry Styner.
Sloop John B – West Indies folk song, as arranged by Lee Hayes and then adapted by Brian Wilson and Al Jardine.
Wouldn’t it be nice? – music by Brian Wilson, lyrics by Tony Asher and Brian Wilson.
Under the Boardwalk – music and lyrics by Kenny Young and Arthur Resnick.
California Dreamin’ – music and lyrics by John Phillips and Michelle Phillips.
Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini – music and lyrics by Paul Vance and Lee Pockriss
School’s Out – music and lyrics by Alice Cooper, Michael Bruce, Glen Buxton, Dennis Dunaway, and Neal Smith
**
Ms Li would have liked to have at least scolded Daria and DeMartino, but too many important people, who had come to the show only because they had felt obligated to, had congratulated her on the fine performances. Worse, Vitale had gotten a number of members of the county and city school boards to come, and they had all been among those who had congratulated her. Li had wondered why the auditorium was standing room only – the first sell out the Review had ever had. Daria and the other connected members of the cast had obviously done a good job promoting the show behind the scenes. She had to acknowledge that there was nothing she could do about the few things she had personal objections to since it was a one time show, and that under the circumstances there was no way she could really get away with any punishments. She therefore accepted the congratulations sent her way and decided to ignore any of what she felt were the negatives of the show.
The cast party was held at the room over the Pizza King. Other than Kevin, who was just starting to understand how much ribbing he was going to get for his ‘big role’ in the first act, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. The party lasted only until midnight, although Daria, Jane, and Thor stayed a bit longer to help John do the major clean up. Because of the forecast ice storm the next afternoon and evening, the couples agreed to wait until early Sunday afternoon to decide if they were going to do anything else that weekend.
Daria didn’t get to sleep until after 1:30 that morning and so slept through until nearly noon. To her surprise, when she finally made it to the kitchen only her mother was there. She glanced out the window, and saw that the sleet had already started. “Where are Dad and Quinn?”
“Quinn and Stacy are at Tiffany’s until tomorrow, or maybe even Monday if the storm is nasty enough,” Helen said. “You’re father is out salting the sidewalk and driveway. Would you like breakfast or lunch?”
“Considering how much pizza I ate last night, I think I should just have some tea,” Daria replied. “I’ll fix it; you go ahead and say what you want to say.”
“What do you mean?” Helen asked, surprised.
Daria refrained from rolling her eyes as she walked to the cupboard. “Mom, after all these years, I know when you want to lecture me, even though I can’t imagine what I could have done wrong to deserve one.”
“I. . . .”
“Therefore, you instead want to interrogate me.” Daria started water heating in the microwave. “Is this about the performance I put on last night?”
“Yes,” Helen simply stated.
“You want to know why I did so now, at this late stage of my high school career, instead of acting this way for the last three or four years, I suppose?”
“Yes,” Helen agreed. “You were very good,” she added.
“Thank you,” Daria said. The timer went off and she added the tea bag to the hot water. “Ideally, I would not have been on stage last night. I wanted to create the Review in part to give me some experience with stage craft. I hope to write plays as well as other forms of literature. However, to bring my vision to the stage, I also had to lead by example. I was willing to sacrifice a small part of my self-image to act on stage, and by self-image I mean how I want to be able to see myself, not how others view or think of me. I don’t know if you can accept or understand that – I feel I did sacrifice a small part of my self, my actual self, and I dislike having to had to have done that. However, I was willing to do so because I wanted the result to be as close to what I had imagined as possible.” Daria judged the tea needed to steep a bit more, so took out a saucer and moved towards the table. “If it matters to you, I believe I did a decent job at getting the results I wanted, considering the limitations of cast and rehearsal time.”
She sat across the table from her mother. “What I did by going on stage instead of staying back stage went against the grain, but I thought the sacrifice would be worth it. To have acted this way in some other, earlier context would have been sacrificing my self not to my goals, but to yours, or even worse, to peer pressure. To have done either would have been false, even soul destroying. I love you, but I hope you will not be offended when I say I do not love you that much.” She took a test sip of her tea.
Helen could only blink.
“I guess you need to think about that,” Daria said simply.
“Yes, I think I do,” Helen acknowledged. “We all have to do things we dislike. Sometimes, we have little choice, as not doing them can come at a far higher price than doing them. Did you dislike performing as much as you thought?”
Daria nodded. “I hated it last summer, and disliked it last night. I knew I could do it, but I would have preferred not to.”
“Then I’ll think about what you said, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow if I have questions.”
“Fair enough,” Daria replied.
“You really were a very good performer,” Helen said.
“Thank you. Without the stage microphones, I couldn’t have done any of the singing well enough,” she pointed out. “I was by far the weakest singer.”
“I know,” Helen agreed. “I meant the physical performance.”
Daria blushed slightly. “Thank you.”
The storm intensified, and Jake went out twice more to salt the drive and sidewalk. The second time, he barely made the trip without slipping and hurting himself on the ice. Still, as cold as the weather was outside, the atmosphere between his wife and eldest daughter was colder inside. Daria dealt with that by going to bed around 9:00.
Daria was therefore startled but not too sleepy when she found herself waking up the next morning at around 7:00 with Helen seated next to her on the bed.
“Couldn’t wait to start the debate?” Daria asked sleepily. “Can it at least wait until I pee?”
“That can wait,” Helen answered, “but I just got a phone call from the Villars. For some reason, Theo went out last night.”
“An accident?” Daria asked. When Helen merely nodded, she asked, “How bad?”
“Bad, but I don’t know how bad.”
By Dr T
Daria’s vision for The Lawndale Review continues with the second and final acts, and the aftermath.
*
NOTE: All the musical numbers are available on youtube if any readers are unfamiliar with them. Thor and Mack’s number in Act II should especially be found to get the full effect.
*
THE LAWNDALE REVIEW: Act II
The audience had made their way out, either to stretch their legs or visit the rest rooms. The program notes for the first act were, as Daria had told them, awaiting the audience members. Because of the timer showing on the side screens, nearly everyone had made it back to their seats when the lights started flash, reminding them that the second act was about start.
The curtains opened, showing a largely blank stage, with only the furthest scenery rod down, giving the largest possible space. The back scenery was a trompe-d’oeil designed by Jane, seemingly extending the stage floor to the faux back wall, as if it was a mostly empty ball room. To the back of stage (still on the left) was a slightly larger band stand, as the instrumentalists of the first act were now joined by a dozen string players from the Lawndale High orchestra. The side screens now displayed the message ‘Classical Lawndale’ for twenty seconds, and then changed to ‘A Display of Dancing’.
The orchestra struck up a Strauss waltz, Wiener Blut. After a few bars, Tori, dressed in an Edwardian ball gown, and Ted, dressed in full evening dress right down to the tails, waltzed onto the stage. They were followed by Mack and Daria, then Thor and Jodie, Jeffey and Quinn, Matthew and Brittany (Quinn had been surprised the boy she thought of as a very cute but quiet geek could ballroom dance), and finally John and Jessica. As the six couples glided gracefully around the stage, the music changed to an instrumental version of Hernado’s Hideaway from the first act and the couples changed partners. It was during a twirl in this song that Daria’s ball gown spun up to her ankles, making Helen give a little gasp, as her daughter was wearing heels – only one inch heels, but heels nevertheless.
The tango gave way to Strauss’ Wine, Women, & Song and another switch of partners and then into The Blue Danube and another partner switch. The final partner switch made the partners Jeffey and Tori, Thor and Daria, Mack and Jodie, Ted and Jessica, John and Brittany, and Matthew and Quinn. It was one of the most famous tangos, La cumparsita. This time, three of the couples stayed well upstage and danced a very straightforward tango. Matthew and Quinn, Mack and Jodie, and especially Thor and Daria danced much more physically intimate versions, and Thor used his strength to dip and support Daria very well, Daria’s hair whipping around at times. Had she been wearing her glasses instead of her contacts, they certainly would have flown off.
The six couples took two sets of well-earned bows before exiting the stage. Then Kevin and three of his offensive linemen brought out two stools and a plain table, setting them in the middle of the stage. One held a long piece of wood, and showed that piano keys had been painted on it before setting in on the table. As the four exited, the side screens changed to The Lawndale Trio. Joey, Jamie, and Stacy then walked out, the first two in tuxedoes and Stacy in a prom dress. All three, however, were wearing football helmets. Stacy sat facing the table, Jamie sat on the other stool (in the center) while Joey, holding timpani mallets, stood on the other side of Jamie, who had a long conductor’s baton. All three then slumped, as if they were puppets at rest.
Then Thor, John, Matthew, and Ted walked on stage and stood next to the band stand. A few in the audience were already giggling.
The four then sang out four notes in turn, holding their notes as the others joined to make a major chord:
Thor: Do!
John: Mi!
Matthew: Sol!
Ted: Do!
The percussion section then started up, and the group gave a very spirited rendition of the Ernie Kovacs Nairobi Trio comedy routine, to the amusement and applause of the audience.
Two of the same four football players came out and removed the ‘set’ for the Trio. The orchestra then struck up a merry but simple tune, and the side screens changed to Three Little Maids. The orchestra played the brief intro theme, and when the tune reprised, Quinn, Jodie, and Daria came skipping out, dressed as Lawndale cheerleaders, right down to the pom poms and saddle shoes. Five other singers, also dressed as cheerleaders, filed in skipping before the backdrop.
Quinn, Jodie, Daria:
Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a school-girl well can be,
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,
Three little maids from school!
Quinn
Everything is a source of fun. (Titters)
Daria
Nobody's safe, for we care for none! (Chuckles)
Jodie
Life is a joke that's just begun! (Laughs)
Quinn, Daria, Jodie
Three little maids from school!
Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary
Three little maids from school!
Three little maids from school!
Quinn
One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum
Daria
Two little maids in attendance come
Jodie
Three little maids is the total sum.
Quinn, Daria, Jodie
Three little maids from school!
Quinn
From three little maids take one away
Daria
Two little maids remain, and they
Jodie
Won't have to wait very long, they say
Quinn, Daria, Jodie
Three little maids from school!
Girls
Three little maids from school!
Quinn, Daria, Jodie and girls
Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary
Quinn, Daria, Jodie
Three little maids from school!
Quinn, Daria, Jodie and girls
Three little maids from school!
The trio upfront curtsied, followed by the ‘chorus.’ The chorus and Quinn filed off-stage while Daria and Jodie walked off-stage on the opposite side, in front of the band stand. As they all moved, Kevin came out from behind the bandstand pulling a loaded hand-truck. After a little maneuvering, he got the hand-truck into position and let down its covered load. He then exited the stage. The side screen’s now just read ‘Verdi.’
Thor and Mack walked on stage, followed by Stacy and, with her hands hidden behind her, Jane. Thor and Mack were still wearing their tail coats, but had taken off their ties, shirts, and cummerbunds, and were now wearing bright white ‘muscle’ t-shirts. Stacy whisked off the cover, displaying a large anvil, and the side-screens obligingly changed to Anvil Chorus from Verdi’s il trovatore. As the orchestra struck up the music, Thor and Mack stripped off their jackets and handed them to Stacy. Jane presented each teen with a ball peen hammer, and then the girls left the stage. Mack and Thor played the percussion part perfectly through the first time through the music.
As the music started the second time through, Jane and Stacy returned. Mack and Thor stripped off their t-shirts to the delighted hoots from the audience, and Jane and Stacy took their t-shirts and hammers off stage. As they left, a grinning Kevin came out with small sledge hammers, which the two used for the second run through. Musically, it made no difference, but many enjoyed the sight.
Mack and Thor had to take three bows as the stage was cleared. Then Tori, still in her Edwardian gown, came out to sing three Gilbert and Sullivan ballads (Poor Wand’ring One from Pirates of Penzance, Sorry her lot who loves too well from HMS Pinafore, and The sun whose rays are all ablaze from The Miakdo).
When Tori finished, eleven of the most athletic singers Thor could find in the school accompanied him on to the stage dressed as pirates and with wooden swords in hand. They then did a rousing version of With Cat-like Tread to end the second act. All-in-all, Ms Li was happier with the second act than the first, despite the display of beefcake, and was especially happy that this was a one-time performance.
*
Act Two:
Five dances: Strauss’ Wiener Blut; Wine, Women, & Song, and Blue Danube; Hernando’s Hideaway from the musical Pajama Game, music and lyrics by Adler and Ross; La cumparsita by Gerardo Matos Rodriguez.
‘Lawndale Trio’ – Solfeggio by Robert Maxwell, Nairobi Trio sketch created by Ernie Kovacs
Three Little Maids from The Miakdo by Gilbert & Sullivan
Anvil Chorus – from the opera il trovatore by Giuseppe Verdi – at least on youtube, this particular staging seems favored by gay men’s choirs.
Poor Wand’ring One from Pirates of Penzance, Sorry her lot who loves too well from HMS Pinafore, and The sun whose rays are all ablaze from The Miakdo, all by Gilbert & Sullivan
With Cat-like Tread from Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert & Sullivan
*
LAWNDALE REVIEW: Act III
As the timer on the screen ran down towards the end of the second intermission, the curtains opened about a quarter of the way to a totally darkened stage and the side screens went temporarily dark as well. Daria walked out, wearing a long dressing gown and sandals. “Welcome to our final act. As I mentioned in the opening number, it’s cold outside, at least for Maryland in March. We might even suffer from a late ice storm tomorrow.” Daria gave a little shiver. “To take our minds off things, we take you in the last act far away – the place is Southern California, the time is nearly forty years ago.”
Ms Li paled as she glanced over to DeMartino, who was grinning like a maniac as he stood off to the side of the first row.
Sure enough, the curtains fully opened and the lights came up, revealing a ‘beach’ with an ocean backdrop. Instead of the bandstand, there was a small platform with four guitarists, a bass player, a keyboardist, and three percussionists. Daria walked over and removed her robe, showing her in a very conservative two piece swim suit. “Hit it!” she commanded.
The side screens lit up with Lawndale Spring Break – At the Beach for ten seconds, and then as the band struck up the theme tune to Beach Blanket Bingo, seventeen other teens joined Daria on stage to sing and dance the tune.
As the teens sang and gyrated in their swim wear (no thongs, but still fairly typical California two piece suits for the girls, which made Li frown), the only good thing Ms Li could find in the performance, other than acknowledging it was well-done, was that they hadn’t chosen the theme of How to Stuff a Wild Bikini.
When the theme song ended, half of the teens sat in couples on the ‘beach’ and ‘talked’, while the others milled about in the background, doing the same. Four of the male members of the select choir split off and did an a cappella version of the Beach Boys’ Sloop John B.
After the applause died down, the ‘beach goers’ all started moving slowly around the stage for about thirty seconds, again in couples. By then, the nine couples had formed a pattern which would bring them around the stage. As each couple came to the front and started slowly walking down the stage, they took turns singing Wouldn’t it be nice? – also by the Beach Boys. When that song of teenage longing was over, the couples kept going until Thor and Daria again started the lead walk. Then Thor pulled Daria to the front of the stage, and as they promenaded slowly back, he sang Under the Boardwalk to her.
In the audience, Jake was very affected by seeing Daria and Quinn in the Wouldn’t it be nice? number. He had slowly starting letting Daria go that afternoon the previous June when he had left her and Jane at the art colony. He knew that when she left for Ashfield this coming summer, she would be gone as an everyday part of his life, as she and Jane would be heading to Boston from camp, not coming back to Lawndale. Now he saw that Quinn would be starting to break away as well.
His physical heart was now strong, but his emotional heart broke a little bit more.
Helen, on the other hand, was very pleased with Thor’s serenade, or at least the look of affection Daria was giving him as he sang to her. Daria had shown this night that she could act, but Helen doubted she was that good an actress. She had suspected for weeks that the two were sexually active in some manner, but to her surprise, she was not worried about it. Daria had come almost completely out of her shell over the previous year, and Helen doubted she would be making any life-altering mistakes. She could even accept Daria’s occasional flirtations with Jane, as it was clear that Jane was interested in John.
Helen sat back and enjoyed both the song and the look on her daughter’s face. She had always wondered if Daria had kept her emotions hidden for so long because the only real alternative was to wear them on her sleeve, and she decided that was a good explanation.
Thor’s serenade ended, and the couple moved back to the other couples. Tori, Ted, and another couple now came forward and sang the Mamas and the Papas song California Dreamin’, while the rest of the couples swayed to the tune, the boys holding the girls from behind. Only Helen noticed that Quinn and her ‘date’ slipping off stage soon after the song had begun.
The girls left on stage then retreated towards the rear and the boys lined up opposite the musicians for the next number.
Boys:
She was afraid to come out of the locker
she was as nervous as she could be
she was afraid to come out of the locker
she was afraid that somebody would see
Girls:
Two three four
tell the people what she wore
All:
It was an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
that she wore for the first time today
At that point, Jane and Stacy came out from opposite wings and started to dance up stage. Both, of course, wore polka dot two piece swim suits.
an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
so in the locker she wanted to stay
Jane and Stacy froze, and the song continued.
Girls:
Two three four
stick around we’ll tell you more
Quinn and Brittany poked their heads out from opposite wings, while Jane and Stacy stayed frozen. Then Quinn and Brittany walked to towards the apron with blankets over their shoulders and mimicked the actions to the verse.
Boys:
She was afraid to come out in the open
so a blanket around her she wore
she was afraid to come out in the open
and so she sat bundled up on the shore
Girls:
Two three four
tell the people what she wore
All: (With Quinn and Brittany standing up and dropping the blankets and dancing [to the applause of most of the males in the audience], with Jane and Stacy joining in.)
It was an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
that she wore for the first time today
an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
so in the blanket she wanted to stay
Girls:
Two three four
stick around we’ll tell you more
Boys:
Now she's afraid to come out of the water
and I wonder what she's gunna do
now she's afraid to come out of the water
and the poor little girl’s turning blue
Girls:
Two three four
tell the people what she wore
Tiffany and Leah now came out, hand and hand before separating, Tiffany dancing between Stacy and Quinn, Leah between Jane and Brittany.
All:
It was an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
that she wore for the first time today
an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
so in the water she wanted to stay
From the locker to the blanket
from the blanket to the shore
from the shore to the water
yes there isn't any more
After the applause died down, Daria stepped up to the front of the stage. “Ah, spring break.” She sighed and said, “There’s one thing better, and that will occur in just a few months!”
With that, the cast sang the finale, (School’s Out for Summer!) which was accepted with generous applause, as were the curtain calls. Daria was surprised that she earned as much applause as any of the rest of the cast.
*
Act Three
Beach Blanket Bingo – theme from the movie Beach Blanket Bingo, words and music by Guy Hemric and Jerry Styner.
Sloop John B – West Indies folk song, as arranged by Lee Hayes and then adapted by Brian Wilson and Al Jardine.
Wouldn’t it be nice? – music by Brian Wilson, lyrics by Tony Asher and Brian Wilson.
Under the Boardwalk – music and lyrics by Kenny Young and Arthur Resnick.
California Dreamin’ – music and lyrics by John Phillips and Michelle Phillips.
Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini – music and lyrics by Paul Vance and Lee Pockriss
School’s Out – music and lyrics by Alice Cooper, Michael Bruce, Glen Buxton, Dennis Dunaway, and Neal Smith
**
Ms Li would have liked to have at least scolded Daria and DeMartino, but too many important people, who had come to the show only because they had felt obligated to, had congratulated her on the fine performances. Worse, Vitale had gotten a number of members of the county and city school boards to come, and they had all been among those who had congratulated her. Li had wondered why the auditorium was standing room only – the first sell out the Review had ever had. Daria and the other connected members of the cast had obviously done a good job promoting the show behind the scenes. She had to acknowledge that there was nothing she could do about the few things she had personal objections to since it was a one time show, and that under the circumstances there was no way she could really get away with any punishments. She therefore accepted the congratulations sent her way and decided to ignore any of what she felt were the negatives of the show.
The cast party was held at the room over the Pizza King. Other than Kevin, who was just starting to understand how much ribbing he was going to get for his ‘big role’ in the first act, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. The party lasted only until midnight, although Daria, Jane, and Thor stayed a bit longer to help John do the major clean up. Because of the forecast ice storm the next afternoon and evening, the couples agreed to wait until early Sunday afternoon to decide if they were going to do anything else that weekend.
Daria didn’t get to sleep until after 1:30 that morning and so slept through until nearly noon. To her surprise, when she finally made it to the kitchen only her mother was there. She glanced out the window, and saw that the sleet had already started. “Where are Dad and Quinn?”
“Quinn and Stacy are at Tiffany’s until tomorrow, or maybe even Monday if the storm is nasty enough,” Helen said. “You’re father is out salting the sidewalk and driveway. Would you like breakfast or lunch?”
“Considering how much pizza I ate last night, I think I should just have some tea,” Daria replied. “I’ll fix it; you go ahead and say what you want to say.”
“What do you mean?” Helen asked, surprised.
Daria refrained from rolling her eyes as she walked to the cupboard. “Mom, after all these years, I know when you want to lecture me, even though I can’t imagine what I could have done wrong to deserve one.”
“I. . . .”
“Therefore, you instead want to interrogate me.” Daria started water heating in the microwave. “Is this about the performance I put on last night?”
“Yes,” Helen simply stated.
“You want to know why I did so now, at this late stage of my high school career, instead of acting this way for the last three or four years, I suppose?”
“Yes,” Helen agreed. “You were very good,” she added.
“Thank you,” Daria said. The timer went off and she added the tea bag to the hot water. “Ideally, I would not have been on stage last night. I wanted to create the Review in part to give me some experience with stage craft. I hope to write plays as well as other forms of literature. However, to bring my vision to the stage, I also had to lead by example. I was willing to sacrifice a small part of my self-image to act on stage, and by self-image I mean how I want to be able to see myself, not how others view or think of me. I don’t know if you can accept or understand that – I feel I did sacrifice a small part of my self, my actual self, and I dislike having to had to have done that. However, I was willing to do so because I wanted the result to be as close to what I had imagined as possible.” Daria judged the tea needed to steep a bit more, so took out a saucer and moved towards the table. “If it matters to you, I believe I did a decent job at getting the results I wanted, considering the limitations of cast and rehearsal time.”
She sat across the table from her mother. “What I did by going on stage instead of staying back stage went against the grain, but I thought the sacrifice would be worth it. To have acted this way in some other, earlier context would have been sacrificing my self not to my goals, but to yours, or even worse, to peer pressure. To have done either would have been false, even soul destroying. I love you, but I hope you will not be offended when I say I do not love you that much.” She took a test sip of her tea.
Helen could only blink.
“I guess you need to think about that,” Daria said simply.
“Yes, I think I do,” Helen acknowledged. “We all have to do things we dislike. Sometimes, we have little choice, as not doing them can come at a far higher price than doing them. Did you dislike performing as much as you thought?”
Daria nodded. “I hated it last summer, and disliked it last night. I knew I could do it, but I would have preferred not to.”
“Then I’ll think about what you said, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow if I have questions.”
“Fair enough,” Daria replied.
“You really were a very good performer,” Helen said.
“Thank you. Without the stage microphones, I couldn’t have done any of the singing well enough,” she pointed out. “I was by far the weakest singer.”
“I know,” Helen agreed. “I meant the physical performance.”
Daria blushed slightly. “Thank you.”
The storm intensified, and Jake went out twice more to salt the drive and sidewalk. The second time, he barely made the trip without slipping and hurting himself on the ice. Still, as cold as the weather was outside, the atmosphere between his wife and eldest daughter was colder inside. Daria dealt with that by going to bed around 9:00.
Daria was therefore startled but not too sleepy when she found herself waking up the next morning at around 7:00 with Helen seated next to her on the bed.
“Couldn’t wait to start the debate?” Daria asked sleepily. “Can it at least wait until I pee?”
“That can wait,” Helen answered, “but I just got a phone call from the Villars. For some reason, Theo went out last night.”
“An accident?” Daria asked. When Helen merely nodded, she asked, “How bad?”
“Bad, but I don’t know how bad.”
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