Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Psychological Defenses


by BloodyAbattoir 0 reviews

Rationalization: The (often irrational) belief that because one has done one activity, he cannot do the other, or because he has done one, he can do the other.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Drama - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2014-04-09 - 493 words

I ate a slice of pie after dinner last night. I really shouldn't have, but my aunt made it, and she insisted I try it. So I did. God alone knows how many thousands of calories was in that thing. After all, my aunt makes it with real sugar, not Splenda, and you know how many calories are in just a tablespoon of sugar? 15. 15 fucking calories. Now how many cups of sugar did she put in it? I don't even want to know.

Logic dictates that you only need a certain amount of calories to maintain your weight every day. Based on my activity levels and weight, I only need about 1700. Now couple that with the fact that if you consistently eat more calories than you need every day, and don't burn them off, you're going to get fat. I used to be a chunky kid, and I don't particularly want to go back there again.

So to balance off the overload of calories I had last night, I'm skipping breakfast, instead just having an apple. Several hours later, it's lunch, and my stomach is growling but I refuse to eat. Still probably need to burn it all off. So I hide in the library, where food is more than forbidden. At home, I take a plate up to my room, claiming homework, and toss it out the window. The dogs eat it within minutes. I feel like I'm about to faint from the hunger, but hey, I don't want to get fat, yanno?

Later that night, I come back out to put the plate back in the kitchen, and I end up eating a small piece of the lasagne Mom made. It's pretty good. 10 minutes later, when I'm back in my room, the guilt hits me again. I'm going to get fat. Looks like since I ate again tonight I can skip eating again tomorrow to stay this small.

The next morning, Christian, CC to his friends, never woke up. He had been starving himself like this for months. This time, our killer was rationalization, the belief that because a person does one thing, he can or cannot do something else, because he did the first thing. Here, CC held the irrational belief that he was going to get fat if he ate too much. While that in itself is a rational belief, to him, 'too much' was irrationalized as being something most of us would barely consider to be a snack. He rationalized to himself that since he ate, he needed to starve the next day, in order to keep himself from getting fat, saying if he didn't starve, he would balloon drastically. Over several months, this lead to his heart rate dropping so low, and the organ itself growing so weak, it stopped in his sleep. After all, if it hadn't been his heart this time, it might've been his kidneys tomorrow. They were on the brink of fatal failure.
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