Categories > Celebrities > Metallica > Lion's Share
“All right, all the shows have been booked. Here's the information you need.” Maria said, giving the paper sheet with all the important notes to Dave and David. “Remember to inform Kerry and Lee when you see them.”
Since she had accepted to become the band manager, Maria had put herself to work like a professional. She had collected the useful networking data from Dave, answered phone calls and sorted the mail, shipped the demo tapes, booked the gigs, printed t-shirts.
Booking venues for Megadeth was quite an easy task, as Dave already knew all the right clubs and was a renowned musician of the thrash metal scene; she just needed to mention his name and club owners would say yes right away.
“Yes, ma'am, I promise.” replied Dave in a mocking whiny tone . “Please, don't cane me.”
“Mock me as much as you want, but I used to have to be extra careful with some of my ex-bandmates.” Maria explained. “They weren't exactly the most reliable people.”
“I still don't understand why you have accepted to help us. Not that I'm not grateful, but considering your... not shyness, but...” said David.
“Unsociability, you can say that, it's true.” Maria laughed, “But you see, I enjoyed doing this when I was in a band; it's one of the things I miss from that period. I mean, playing music was the main thing, which I totally loved. Then you had all this management stuff: booking shows, arguing with the club owners for the fees, promoting the band, flyering around the city, selling t-shirts and records.”
“Most people would say that's a chore.”
“Not me; it was a crucial part of my life in the band. And I know this is not my band, but I'm glad to have the opportunity to do this again and be useful. Another thing I really miss,” Maria continued, “is the closeness between the members of the group. You know, maybe you wouldn't even befriend your bandmates in normal circumstances, but when you play in the same band, you form a special bond with them. You are comrades, working together for a common project. It's your band against the world, and you stand united like a pack of wolves.”
Dave contemplated Maria's words. He could totally relate with them, as he had had the same feelings in Metallica. But just when he thought he had finally found a family, his dearest mates stabbed him in the back. Now he wanted to find again those emotions, that had been robbed from him.
“Sorry if I'm being nosy, but why did you stop, if you loved it so much?” David enquired.
“Bad things happened.” Maria shrugged dismissively.
~*~
“It's all very nice, but the real question is: can you turn people into toads?” Maria asked.
Lee rolled his eyes. “Of course not.”
“Then why do you even bother.”
“Black magic is not some silly fairy tale tricks. Being a follower of the Left-Hand Path is a profound experience. It takes hard work and patience, to attain the power it can give you.”
“Dude, if you can turn into toads people that piss you off, you already have all the power you need.”
It was a week before Megadeth's April concerts and the band was heading for the very first time to one of the parties Joe used to throw in his rehearsal hall. Lee was lecturing Maria, who had been dragged along, about the benefits of witchcraft, one of his biggest passions.
“Just wait until we're on the road. I'll make you read a pair of books that are gonna change your mind.” Lee said.
“I'm not going with you. I wish I could, but I have to work.”
“At the level we're now, we don't even need a road manager anyway. Maybe in the future.” said Dave. “Besides, someone needs to bring home the bacon.”
“Which reminds me,” Maria replied, pointing at Dave and David, “you two freeloaders are going to find a job after these concerts.”
“Ah, so this is the reward for those who do your houseworks.” said David.
“That doesn't pay for the food you eat.”
Maria parked in front of the building indicated by Dave. “So, is this the place?”
“Yep, let's get in.” said Dave getting out of the car.
The guys rang the bell and were received by a man dressed like a butler who signalled them to come in and take the elevator.
“There's even a butler, how chic.”
But the scene that greeted the band was anything but chic. Wasted people were flailing around to loud dance music, or twisting on the floor; some were wearing animal masks, throwing food around; some were dressed only in bandages, or in ripped clothes. In the middle of the room, there was a woman in a nazi uniform whipping a guy on all fours with a riding crop, surrounded by couples making out or having sex. The walls were covered in obscene graffiti and offensive writings.
A guy in a pig mask came to Dave and the others offering them a tray of coloured sugar cubes.
“Uh, sorry for asking, but is this a party or some kind of post-modern performance art?” Maria asked confused to the pig guy.
She couldn't hear his answer, as Dave grabbed her arm and ran away, immediately followed by the rest of the group. They took the stairs, running as fast as they could and skipping steps; they were almost out of the door when they crashed on each other and fell down.
“Fuck! Get up, get up! Let's get the hell out of here!” David yelled.
“Shit, wait!” exclaimed Lee, falling down on his knees. “My foot! I think it's fucking broken!”
“Call an ambulance!” Kerry told the butler, who was looking at them in shock.
The group rushed to the hospital and the doctors confirmed that, indeed, Lee's foot was broken and had to be put into plaster cast. He obviously couldn't play in those conditions, and wanted to cancel the shows, but Dave convinced him otherwise. He had to put into play all his eloquence as the drummer, comprehensibly, didn't want to hurt himself any further.
“We'll cut off the cast before the first show, then recast it as soon as we come back. We'll carry and set your gear and come along with you when you have to move, so you won't be moving your foot unless strictly necessary.” Dave knew he was being selfish and inconsiderate, but he was determined not to miss any shows.
Lee would stay at the hospital for the night, so the others went back home.
“I can't believe you convinced him. I would have told you to go burn in hell.” Kerry said, commenting on Dave's callous treatment of Lee. The Megadeth leader just shrugged; he didn't owe anyone any explanations.
“Why the hell did you all panic and run like Michael Myers was after your asses?” Maria asked. “Shit, all of this could have been avoided.”
“How could you be so calm? Didn't you see what was happening in there?” Junior retorted.
“So what? Don't you and Dave go to every other party?”
“Not parties like that. That shit was fucking scary.”
“You should go to New York, my friend. I've seen things...”
~*~
“The main problem is that the entrails have to be warm, you know, you cannot just go to the butcher and buy a carcass. Maybe I could go directly to the farmer and get a living rabbit, but I don't know if I could kill it by myself. I tend to grow fond of cute, small animals.”
“Dude.”
“What?”
“Don't talk to the driver.”
Lee was sitting on a mattress in the back of David's van, expressing his doubts about the practice of haruspicy to Kerry. The other man wasn't very interested in the drummer's adventures into divination, though, and brushed him off, concentrating on the road. The band was headed to Berkeley, where they would play the first of three concerts.
“Maybe you should write songs about daffodils. It suits you better than Satanism.” Lee grumbled, immersing himself in his book 'The Occult: A History'. Dave and David were sitting on the floor of the van smoking pot and drinking beer, gleefully ignoring the two other guys.
After they arrived at the venue, the first thing to do was taking off Lee's cast, which took a lot of hot water, vinegar, patience, dexterity and a pair of tin snips. As well as the help of the club owner's twelve year old daughter, who had once helped a friend removing his own cast and was the only one who knew how to do it. Lee took to the whisky bottle in hope to avoid a panic attack.
“Are you one of those satanic bands my mom warns me against? You look like it.” asked Yvonne.
Dave raised his eyebrows at the little girl. “What's a satanic band?”
Yvonne shrugged, “A bunch of lowlifes and degenerates who play ugly, loud music and sing about debauchery and depravity. That's what mom says.”
“Yes, that's us, that's definitely us.” Dave replied.
“Is it true that you enjoy defiling virgins and sacrificing goats to Satan?”
“Of course we do. But those are not two separate things.” said Kerry; Yvonne frowned. “Think about it.”
“Whatever. Do you guys know how to do magic? I want to turn my math teacher into a toad.”
“What's with you women and toads?” cried Lee. “Do you think that the powers of Darkness are only useful to create amphibians and solve petty quarrels?”
Once the cast was removed, Dave started having second thoughts about making Lee play; his foot looked terrible, black and swollen.
“You know, if you want to back out, I completely understand. We'll just cancel the shows and...”
“Nonsense. The cast is off, so I'm already at stake.” replied Lee.
“Nobody's forcing you, man.” said David.
“I know; don't worry, I can do it.”
Lee played the show, and the others after that, impeccably; the pain was excruciating, but he bore it with stoicism. And the help of a lot of marijuana.
After the last concert, Megadeth was invited to a party at fan's house; there was booze, which was always good. There were drugs; especially, there was cocaine, generously offered to the band for free. And there were girls, a few of which very happy to hang out with professional musicians.
Lee was stuck getting drunk on the couch and Kerry chatted with a few fans, but Dave and David took advantage of both drugs and female attention.
“I'm feeling like a real rockstar now.” David laughed, leaning against the wall while a girl with long blond hair kissed his neck and ran her hands under his t-shirt. She had some kind of exotic name David couldn't remember, but he didn't really care. He liked what she was doing.
When she dragged him to the bathroom and dropped to her knees, David closed his eyes and shivered. “This is my first time.” He said out loud without thinking.
She looked at him incredulous, “This is your first blowjob? Really?” David just nodded.
“I'm gonna be be your first!” she chuckled. “How cute.”
David let her do her stuff, and thought that playing in a band was the best thing ever.
The two Daves spent the entire ride back home flat on their backs, completely worn out.
Once in L.A., the band took Lee to the hospital, where he received a good telling off from the doctors and got his foot plastered again. The guys weren't too surprised when Lee informed them that he wanted to leave the band; his foot was in a really bad shape and it would take months for it to properly heal. “This experience has left a real mark on me, I think it's time for me to go and search for the meaning of life.” he declared.
Without the drummer, the band's stability was at risk once again; so, to secure at least the second guitarist, Dave decided to go for the direct approach and asked Kerry to ditch Slayer and become a permanent member of Megadeth.
“No.”
Dave was taken aback by the bold refusal, “Wha... what do you mean no?”
“The opposite of yes. Sorry, but Slayer is my band. Don't get me wrong, you're a great guitarist and songwriter; I've learned a lot from you and enjoyed my time in your band, but I never thought of leaving Slayer. Furthermore, you can be kind of a tyrant.”
David couldn't help but laugh at Dave's stunned expression.
Since she had accepted to become the band manager, Maria had put herself to work like a professional. She had collected the useful networking data from Dave, answered phone calls and sorted the mail, shipped the demo tapes, booked the gigs, printed t-shirts.
Booking venues for Megadeth was quite an easy task, as Dave already knew all the right clubs and was a renowned musician of the thrash metal scene; she just needed to mention his name and club owners would say yes right away.
“Yes, ma'am, I promise.” replied Dave in a mocking whiny tone . “Please, don't cane me.”
“Mock me as much as you want, but I used to have to be extra careful with some of my ex-bandmates.” Maria explained. “They weren't exactly the most reliable people.”
“I still don't understand why you have accepted to help us. Not that I'm not grateful, but considering your... not shyness, but...” said David.
“Unsociability, you can say that, it's true.” Maria laughed, “But you see, I enjoyed doing this when I was in a band; it's one of the things I miss from that period. I mean, playing music was the main thing, which I totally loved. Then you had all this management stuff: booking shows, arguing with the club owners for the fees, promoting the band, flyering around the city, selling t-shirts and records.”
“Most people would say that's a chore.”
“Not me; it was a crucial part of my life in the band. And I know this is not my band, but I'm glad to have the opportunity to do this again and be useful. Another thing I really miss,” Maria continued, “is the closeness between the members of the group. You know, maybe you wouldn't even befriend your bandmates in normal circumstances, but when you play in the same band, you form a special bond with them. You are comrades, working together for a common project. It's your band against the world, and you stand united like a pack of wolves.”
Dave contemplated Maria's words. He could totally relate with them, as he had had the same feelings in Metallica. But just when he thought he had finally found a family, his dearest mates stabbed him in the back. Now he wanted to find again those emotions, that had been robbed from him.
“Sorry if I'm being nosy, but why did you stop, if you loved it so much?” David enquired.
“Bad things happened.” Maria shrugged dismissively.
~*~
“It's all very nice, but the real question is: can you turn people into toads?” Maria asked.
Lee rolled his eyes. “Of course not.”
“Then why do you even bother.”
“Black magic is not some silly fairy tale tricks. Being a follower of the Left-Hand Path is a profound experience. It takes hard work and patience, to attain the power it can give you.”
“Dude, if you can turn into toads people that piss you off, you already have all the power you need.”
It was a week before Megadeth's April concerts and the band was heading for the very first time to one of the parties Joe used to throw in his rehearsal hall. Lee was lecturing Maria, who had been dragged along, about the benefits of witchcraft, one of his biggest passions.
“Just wait until we're on the road. I'll make you read a pair of books that are gonna change your mind.” Lee said.
“I'm not going with you. I wish I could, but I have to work.”
“At the level we're now, we don't even need a road manager anyway. Maybe in the future.” said Dave. “Besides, someone needs to bring home the bacon.”
“Which reminds me,” Maria replied, pointing at Dave and David, “you two freeloaders are going to find a job after these concerts.”
“Ah, so this is the reward for those who do your houseworks.” said David.
“That doesn't pay for the food you eat.”
Maria parked in front of the building indicated by Dave. “So, is this the place?”
“Yep, let's get in.” said Dave getting out of the car.
The guys rang the bell and were received by a man dressed like a butler who signalled them to come in and take the elevator.
“There's even a butler, how chic.”
But the scene that greeted the band was anything but chic. Wasted people were flailing around to loud dance music, or twisting on the floor; some were wearing animal masks, throwing food around; some were dressed only in bandages, or in ripped clothes. In the middle of the room, there was a woman in a nazi uniform whipping a guy on all fours with a riding crop, surrounded by couples making out or having sex. The walls were covered in obscene graffiti and offensive writings.
A guy in a pig mask came to Dave and the others offering them a tray of coloured sugar cubes.
“Uh, sorry for asking, but is this a party or some kind of post-modern performance art?” Maria asked confused to the pig guy.
She couldn't hear his answer, as Dave grabbed her arm and ran away, immediately followed by the rest of the group. They took the stairs, running as fast as they could and skipping steps; they were almost out of the door when they crashed on each other and fell down.
“Fuck! Get up, get up! Let's get the hell out of here!” David yelled.
“Shit, wait!” exclaimed Lee, falling down on his knees. “My foot! I think it's fucking broken!”
“Call an ambulance!” Kerry told the butler, who was looking at them in shock.
The group rushed to the hospital and the doctors confirmed that, indeed, Lee's foot was broken and had to be put into plaster cast. He obviously couldn't play in those conditions, and wanted to cancel the shows, but Dave convinced him otherwise. He had to put into play all his eloquence as the drummer, comprehensibly, didn't want to hurt himself any further.
“We'll cut off the cast before the first show, then recast it as soon as we come back. We'll carry and set your gear and come along with you when you have to move, so you won't be moving your foot unless strictly necessary.” Dave knew he was being selfish and inconsiderate, but he was determined not to miss any shows.
Lee would stay at the hospital for the night, so the others went back home.
“I can't believe you convinced him. I would have told you to go burn in hell.” Kerry said, commenting on Dave's callous treatment of Lee. The Megadeth leader just shrugged; he didn't owe anyone any explanations.
“Why the hell did you all panic and run like Michael Myers was after your asses?” Maria asked. “Shit, all of this could have been avoided.”
“How could you be so calm? Didn't you see what was happening in there?” Junior retorted.
“So what? Don't you and Dave go to every other party?”
“Not parties like that. That shit was fucking scary.”
“You should go to New York, my friend. I've seen things...”
~*~
“The main problem is that the entrails have to be warm, you know, you cannot just go to the butcher and buy a carcass. Maybe I could go directly to the farmer and get a living rabbit, but I don't know if I could kill it by myself. I tend to grow fond of cute, small animals.”
“Dude.”
“What?”
“Don't talk to the driver.”
Lee was sitting on a mattress in the back of David's van, expressing his doubts about the practice of haruspicy to Kerry. The other man wasn't very interested in the drummer's adventures into divination, though, and brushed him off, concentrating on the road. The band was headed to Berkeley, where they would play the first of three concerts.
“Maybe you should write songs about daffodils. It suits you better than Satanism.” Lee grumbled, immersing himself in his book 'The Occult: A History'. Dave and David were sitting on the floor of the van smoking pot and drinking beer, gleefully ignoring the two other guys.
After they arrived at the venue, the first thing to do was taking off Lee's cast, which took a lot of hot water, vinegar, patience, dexterity and a pair of tin snips. As well as the help of the club owner's twelve year old daughter, who had once helped a friend removing his own cast and was the only one who knew how to do it. Lee took to the whisky bottle in hope to avoid a panic attack.
“Are you one of those satanic bands my mom warns me against? You look like it.” asked Yvonne.
Dave raised his eyebrows at the little girl. “What's a satanic band?”
Yvonne shrugged, “A bunch of lowlifes and degenerates who play ugly, loud music and sing about debauchery and depravity. That's what mom says.”
“Yes, that's us, that's definitely us.” Dave replied.
“Is it true that you enjoy defiling virgins and sacrificing goats to Satan?”
“Of course we do. But those are not two separate things.” said Kerry; Yvonne frowned. “Think about it.”
“Whatever. Do you guys know how to do magic? I want to turn my math teacher into a toad.”
“What's with you women and toads?” cried Lee. “Do you think that the powers of Darkness are only useful to create amphibians and solve petty quarrels?”
Once the cast was removed, Dave started having second thoughts about making Lee play; his foot looked terrible, black and swollen.
“You know, if you want to back out, I completely understand. We'll just cancel the shows and...”
“Nonsense. The cast is off, so I'm already at stake.” replied Lee.
“Nobody's forcing you, man.” said David.
“I know; don't worry, I can do it.”
Lee played the show, and the others after that, impeccably; the pain was excruciating, but he bore it with stoicism. And the help of a lot of marijuana.
After the last concert, Megadeth was invited to a party at fan's house; there was booze, which was always good. There were drugs; especially, there was cocaine, generously offered to the band for free. And there were girls, a few of which very happy to hang out with professional musicians.
Lee was stuck getting drunk on the couch and Kerry chatted with a few fans, but Dave and David took advantage of both drugs and female attention.
“I'm feeling like a real rockstar now.” David laughed, leaning against the wall while a girl with long blond hair kissed his neck and ran her hands under his t-shirt. She had some kind of exotic name David couldn't remember, but he didn't really care. He liked what she was doing.
When she dragged him to the bathroom and dropped to her knees, David closed his eyes and shivered. “This is my first time.” He said out loud without thinking.
She looked at him incredulous, “This is your first blowjob? Really?” David just nodded.
“I'm gonna be be your first!” she chuckled. “How cute.”
David let her do her stuff, and thought that playing in a band was the best thing ever.
The two Daves spent the entire ride back home flat on their backs, completely worn out.
Once in L.A., the band took Lee to the hospital, where he received a good telling off from the doctors and got his foot plastered again. The guys weren't too surprised when Lee informed them that he wanted to leave the band; his foot was in a really bad shape and it would take months for it to properly heal. “This experience has left a real mark on me, I think it's time for me to go and search for the meaning of life.” he declared.
Without the drummer, the band's stability was at risk once again; so, to secure at least the second guitarist, Dave decided to go for the direct approach and asked Kerry to ditch Slayer and become a permanent member of Megadeth.
“No.”
Dave was taken aback by the bold refusal, “Wha... what do you mean no?”
“The opposite of yes. Sorry, but Slayer is my band. Don't get me wrong, you're a great guitarist and songwriter; I've learned a lot from you and enjoyed my time in your band, but I never thought of leaving Slayer. Furthermore, you can be kind of a tyrant.”
David couldn't help but laugh at Dave's stunned expression.
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