Categories > Books > Harry Potter > My Wife is Who?
Disclaimer: Tetrisman don't own Harry Potter or My Wife is Wagatsuma-san. If he did, he wouldn't be writing this Fanfic right now. Harry Potter's author and My wife is Wagastsuma-san's author isn't an eighteen year old kid who thought tetrisman is a cool pen name.
My Wife is -
o0oOo0o
Chapter Seven: Gooooooooooooooooooooogle
o0oOo0o
Pound Pound Pound Pound
Crush Crush Crush Crush
Squish Squish Squish Squish
Squish Squish Squish Squish
Pound
Crush
Squish
"Potter, will you tone it done? It's disgusting," the regal voice of Daphne Greengrass said to me as she averted her eyes to what I am doing.
I looked at her at envy. I also want to avert my eyes at what I am doing or better yet to stop it all together. It was really disgusting! It was so disgusting that I was a bit comprehensive if I would write—I mean say—it here.
What? You still want to know even with my warning?
Bu-bu-bu-bu-but…
Well if you really want to know and for the sake of the story, I'll tell you.
I'm currently pounding guts, entrails, innards, bowels, intestines or whatever you like to call it of a frog.
It wasn't that bad, you say.
Then how about you imagine yourself cutting a live frog open before proceeding to pound and to squash its innards without even taking out the said innards first? That's what I'm doing right now, pounding the innards of a frog without even getting it out first, pounding until it would become a powder to be used as an ingredient in the potion we were currently working on. Don't ask how a squishy stuff can become powder. Magic was involve so normal logic don't really apply.
And you ask why am I doing this?
Well it will be used as a primary ingredients\for the potion we were currently working.
If it wasn't a primary ingredient then I would be on my knees begging my partner to let me know if we can use something as a substitute. Pounding the Innards of the frog was really disgusting.
Maybe Snape was really pissed when Dumbledore ordered him to pair his precious Slytherin with us Gryffindors, who, in his eyes, were the lowest beings on earth.
I just took solace from the fact that I wasn't partnered with Malfoy.
And if you're guessing that my partner is Daphne Greengrass, then your guess is correct.
Come to think of it, it was the second time I was partnered with Daphne Greengrass, first with Care of Magical Creatures and now with Potions…
Is the Author—I mean Fate-pushing for a HarryxDaphne pairing?
…
…
Nah!
Tetrisman wouldn't dare…
I will be married to Cho Chang in the future. The point of HarryxDaphne pairing is moot since Cho Chang will be my one and only bride anyway.
My time-slipped said so…
…
…
Tetrisman couldn't change the future, could he?
…
…
I shrugged. This is not the time to be thinking about it since it was still Chapter Seven…
"How about trying to do this yourself, your Highness?" I muttered as I used a silver pestle to pound the innards.
"Hmmm, you said something," Daphne Greengrass said in her usual tone as she bore her cold steel eyes on mine.
Damn, I rather face Voldemort than this woman. At least I can strike back with Voldemort, but with this woman, not only that she was beautiful, she radiated an aura that you wouldn't want to mess with her.
She truly was a fearsome girl.
"Nothing, Greengrass," I gulped.
"Hmph, I thought you're saying something," Daphne Greengrass said before going back to work on their potion.
My eyes followed her movement as she stirred clockwise and counter-clockwise as the instruction suggested with such grace possible.
Damn, how can she move like that? Does she have lesson when she was a child on how to move gracefully and elegantly?
As I watched her, I feel... I feel as if… as if I was somewhat lacking since I can imagine myself stirring potions somewhat clumsily.
My observation was cut short as suddenly there was a strange noise that echoed across the room.
"Arrrrrgh!"
I looked around trying to locate the origin of the noise, and I found… I found Neville spilling what he had eaten from breakfast on the floor.
He was puking on the floor.
"Longbottom!" Snape shouted from his table before standing up to approach the scene, "What did you do now, you insufferable boy?"
Of course he didn't receive an answer since Neville was still busy emptying his stomach.
"Draco, escort Longbottom to the Hospital Wing before I do something irreversible," Snape ordered Neville's partner for this potion.
Malfoy looked as if he wanted to disagree, but one look from Snape and he was on his knees to set Neville up.
Hmmm…
That was odd…
Even if Malfoy was Neville's partner, I had expected him to order a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin to escort Neville.
"Weasley! Clean up after Longbottom's mess," Snape ordered before he walked back toward his desk, "And remember, no magic."
Ah! So that was it after all.
It was one of the House rules in Potion class that you and you're partner was responsible for the mess you made. By sending Malfoy to escort Neville, Snape, Malfoy was spared of cleaning after Neville's puke.
And an additional bonus is that he also makes another Gryffindor suffer by sending him to clean the puke the Muggle way and if I'm correct points will be deducted from Gryffindor.
As expected of Snape.
"Bu-bu-but Malfoy should do it, he was Neville's partner," Ron answered back, his face green from the thought of cleaning the puke.
I sighed and with that the Gryffindor House lost points.
"Fifty Points from Gryffindor for talking back to a Professor, Weasley," Snape barked, "And if you don't want any more points deducted from your house, I suggest you make haste."
With an inaudible grumble, Ron obeyed Snape.
"Wimp," the voice of Daphne Greengrass took my eyes from Ron. There was no mistake on who she was talking about.
It was Neville, since you can somewhat justify Ron's obedience with Snape.
"Well, you can't fault him, you know," I said trying to defend my friend.
"How so?" Greengrass asked, elegantly raising an eyebrow.
She wasn't that cold as I thought if she wanted to know my reasoning.
"He has a toad named Trevor. I'm sure he was imagining his pet as he pound the guts of that frog. You can't fault him if he suddenly pukes. That's just what Neville is. He is soft-hearted," I answered.
"In other words, he's a wimp," Greengrass said in a tone that left no doubt that she didn't want to continue the conversation anymore.
Damn, this woman is ruthless. I didn't expect her to use my words against me.
I sighed…
There was no use trying to talk to her anymore since I wouldn't be able to change her mind.
I resigned myself and just watched my partner as she stirred our potion.
Hmmm…. That circling movements of her arms is making me sleepy…
I wanna sleep…
TIME SLIP ACTIVATED
Huh!?
Where am I?!
Heh!
Isn't this my beloved Cho and my lovenest?
Which means…
I time slipped…
Gooooooooooooooooooooogle!
…
…
Ahem…
I mean…
Yahooooooooooooooooooo!
I'm on another Time sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppp!
I was waiting for a time slip to enact my plan…
You're curious about my plan…
Well if you really want to know, it's…
…
It's… a secret of course…
…
…
…
That's what I like to say but I have no choice but to tell you for the story to proceed…
First, I'll ask her what she would expect from a man who stole her first kiss…
And then, when I get to the present, I'll exactly do exactly everything that fits what she wants…
And then…
And then… MARRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE….
Am I smart or am I a Genius?
But…
But… what with this strange posture of mine.
I was lying in my stomach in a bed. I know that I'm naked right now save for a towel covering my butt. And my back felt… sticky… no… I would say that it felt oily…
Strange…
Really, really strange…
Hmmmm….. What am I doing right now?
I didn't have any more time to think about it as in that moment soft oily hands touch my back and begun to massage it.
Is this what I think it is?
…
…
…
I was wrong when I said that I had time slipped…
I didn't Time slipped…
Because I died and went to heaven…
…
…
…
I was truly in heaven because right now…
Right now…
My beloved Angel's soft hands are massaging my back…
Yes, that's right…
Cho Chang is giving me a massage…
A tear escaped from my eyes…
The future me is so lucky….
"Honey," Cho Chang angelic voice cut my musings, "You really shouldn't overwork yourself. Look how much knots accumulate on your body."
"Cho!" I moaned as Cho massaged, using her skilled hands, a particular spot containing said knot in my back.
Wai… wai… wai… wait…
It wasn't the time to be enjoying this…
I still have a problem to solve. The present Cho still hate me. I need to know what I need to do to change that hate to like. If I didn't solve it, the future me wouldn't experience what I am experiencing right now.
Bu… bu… but…
It felt so good… I don't want to get out of this feeling.
'No, you need to steel yourself. If you don't learn what it is you do to make Cho fall for you, you wouldn't be enjoying this,' I said to myself, 'Now go and ask her.'
"Cho," I rasped out as I pushed my body to stand and to talk with my (Future) wife. But I soon regret it as I came face to face with my beautiful (future) wife and with that… with that I think I just lost some IQ.
"Uhm," I mumbled unintelligently.
"Yes, Honey. Is there a problem?" my (future) bride asked with obvious worry in her eyes.
"Cho!" I repeated as I readied myself to enact my plan.
But… but looking at her beautiful face… a sudden thought cross my mind.
Rather than "smart" or "genius," it feels like "cheating" or "cheater" fits a bit better for the description I describe myself…
Oh… Cheating….
Is it really right to follow my plan?
If I do something like this, wouldn't Cho Chang become "the wife of a despicable man"?
If the husband is a man who would stoop so low, would the wife still be happy?
Wouldn't I feel bad for Cho?
Damn, I'm so despicable…
I'm so selfish…
I didn't deserve a woman like Cho Chang…
"I'm sorry," I suddenly apologized on my knees and my head touching the floor.
"Eh!" the clueless response of Cho from my sudden behavior. But I couldn't fault her since my apology came out of nowhere.
But after a few seconds her expression darkened and her words came as a monotone, "Don't tell me that you're cheating on me."
"No, no, no, no. It's just that I can time slip in the future and the me right now came from ten years ago. It's the time after I stole your first kiss. I didn't know what to do since I think that you hate me at that time. And now because of that, I thought that I would ask the future you—I mean the you right now and do what you expect from a boy who stole you're first kiss at my time. I know I'm despicable to do that but please forgive me," I apologized, ranting. It was a proof that Hermione's characteristics were rubbing of me.
"Eh!" came as Cho Chang's strange reply.
TIME SLIP ENDS…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
Ahem, Ahem…
I mean…
TIME SLIP CONTINUES TO THE NEXT CHAPTER…
Tune in to know what comes next…
o0oOo0o
Author's Rant: Damn, I really wanna do a Video Game Harry Potter, not your normal Video Game Harry Potter but an Eroge Harry Potter. The problem is I don't know where to start…
Don't expect additional Chapter for this baby, My Wife is - along with my other fics for a few weeks as I wait for this muse of mine about Eroge Harry Potter to at least dry out. And for those waiting for an update of I'm Gonna be the Pirate King, I'll try my best to update the next chapter this week.
Author's Plea: Please review to let me know if you like the flow of my stories. And if you'd want you can suggest some ideas to make the story more interesting. This also applies to my other fics.
The Real Author's Note: No doubt some of you were wondering how much a wimp Harry is for suddenly blurting out his secret ability to his wife no less. All I can say is just wait for the next chapter, you wouldn't expect what really happened- I mean what happened next.
Author's Afterword: See you in a few weeks, I guess.
My Wife is -
o0oOo0o
Chapter Seven: Gooooooooooooooooooooogle
o0oOo0o
Pound Pound Pound Pound
Crush Crush Crush Crush
Squish Squish Squish Squish
Squish Squish Squish Squish
Pound
Crush
Squish
"Potter, will you tone it done? It's disgusting," the regal voice of Daphne Greengrass said to me as she averted her eyes to what I am doing.
I looked at her at envy. I also want to avert my eyes at what I am doing or better yet to stop it all together. It was really disgusting! It was so disgusting that I was a bit comprehensive if I would write—I mean say—it here.
What? You still want to know even with my warning?
Bu-bu-bu-bu-but…
Well if you really want to know and for the sake of the story, I'll tell you.
I'm currently pounding guts, entrails, innards, bowels, intestines or whatever you like to call it of a frog.
It wasn't that bad, you say.
Then how about you imagine yourself cutting a live frog open before proceeding to pound and to squash its innards without even taking out the said innards first? That's what I'm doing right now, pounding the innards of a frog without even getting it out first, pounding until it would become a powder to be used as an ingredient in the potion we were currently working on. Don't ask how a squishy stuff can become powder. Magic was involve so normal logic don't really apply.
And you ask why am I doing this?
Well it will be used as a primary ingredients\for the potion we were currently working.
If it wasn't a primary ingredient then I would be on my knees begging my partner to let me know if we can use something as a substitute. Pounding the Innards of the frog was really disgusting.
Maybe Snape was really pissed when Dumbledore ordered him to pair his precious Slytherin with us Gryffindors, who, in his eyes, were the lowest beings on earth.
I just took solace from the fact that I wasn't partnered with Malfoy.
And if you're guessing that my partner is Daphne Greengrass, then your guess is correct.
Come to think of it, it was the second time I was partnered with Daphne Greengrass, first with Care of Magical Creatures and now with Potions…
Is the Author—I mean Fate-pushing for a HarryxDaphne pairing?
…
…
Nah!
Tetrisman wouldn't dare…
I will be married to Cho Chang in the future. The point of HarryxDaphne pairing is moot since Cho Chang will be my one and only bride anyway.
My time-slipped said so…
…
…
Tetrisman couldn't change the future, could he?
…
…
I shrugged. This is not the time to be thinking about it since it was still Chapter Seven…
"How about trying to do this yourself, your Highness?" I muttered as I used a silver pestle to pound the innards.
"Hmmm, you said something," Daphne Greengrass said in her usual tone as she bore her cold steel eyes on mine.
Damn, I rather face Voldemort than this woman. At least I can strike back with Voldemort, but with this woman, not only that she was beautiful, she radiated an aura that you wouldn't want to mess with her.
She truly was a fearsome girl.
"Nothing, Greengrass," I gulped.
"Hmph, I thought you're saying something," Daphne Greengrass said before going back to work on their potion.
My eyes followed her movement as she stirred clockwise and counter-clockwise as the instruction suggested with such grace possible.
Damn, how can she move like that? Does she have lesson when she was a child on how to move gracefully and elegantly?
As I watched her, I feel... I feel as if… as if I was somewhat lacking since I can imagine myself stirring potions somewhat clumsily.
My observation was cut short as suddenly there was a strange noise that echoed across the room.
"Arrrrrgh!"
I looked around trying to locate the origin of the noise, and I found… I found Neville spilling what he had eaten from breakfast on the floor.
He was puking on the floor.
"Longbottom!" Snape shouted from his table before standing up to approach the scene, "What did you do now, you insufferable boy?"
Of course he didn't receive an answer since Neville was still busy emptying his stomach.
"Draco, escort Longbottom to the Hospital Wing before I do something irreversible," Snape ordered Neville's partner for this potion.
Malfoy looked as if he wanted to disagree, but one look from Snape and he was on his knees to set Neville up.
Hmmm…
That was odd…
Even if Malfoy was Neville's partner, I had expected him to order a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin to escort Neville.
"Weasley! Clean up after Longbottom's mess," Snape ordered before he walked back toward his desk, "And remember, no magic."
Ah! So that was it after all.
It was one of the House rules in Potion class that you and you're partner was responsible for the mess you made. By sending Malfoy to escort Neville, Snape, Malfoy was spared of cleaning after Neville's puke.
And an additional bonus is that he also makes another Gryffindor suffer by sending him to clean the puke the Muggle way and if I'm correct points will be deducted from Gryffindor.
As expected of Snape.
"Bu-bu-but Malfoy should do it, he was Neville's partner," Ron answered back, his face green from the thought of cleaning the puke.
I sighed and with that the Gryffindor House lost points.
"Fifty Points from Gryffindor for talking back to a Professor, Weasley," Snape barked, "And if you don't want any more points deducted from your house, I suggest you make haste."
With an inaudible grumble, Ron obeyed Snape.
"Wimp," the voice of Daphne Greengrass took my eyes from Ron. There was no mistake on who she was talking about.
It was Neville, since you can somewhat justify Ron's obedience with Snape.
"Well, you can't fault him, you know," I said trying to defend my friend.
"How so?" Greengrass asked, elegantly raising an eyebrow.
She wasn't that cold as I thought if she wanted to know my reasoning.
"He has a toad named Trevor. I'm sure he was imagining his pet as he pound the guts of that frog. You can't fault him if he suddenly pukes. That's just what Neville is. He is soft-hearted," I answered.
"In other words, he's a wimp," Greengrass said in a tone that left no doubt that she didn't want to continue the conversation anymore.
Damn, this woman is ruthless. I didn't expect her to use my words against me.
I sighed…
There was no use trying to talk to her anymore since I wouldn't be able to change her mind.
I resigned myself and just watched my partner as she stirred our potion.
Hmmm…. That circling movements of her arms is making me sleepy…
I wanna sleep…
TIME SLIP ACTIVATED
Huh!?
Where am I?!
Heh!
Isn't this my beloved Cho and my lovenest?
Which means…
I time slipped…
Gooooooooooooooooooooogle!
…
…
Ahem…
I mean…
Yahooooooooooooooooooo!
I'm on another Time sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppp!
I was waiting for a time slip to enact my plan…
You're curious about my plan…
Well if you really want to know, it's…
…
It's… a secret of course…
…
…
…
That's what I like to say but I have no choice but to tell you for the story to proceed…
First, I'll ask her what she would expect from a man who stole her first kiss…
And then, when I get to the present, I'll exactly do exactly everything that fits what she wants…
And then…
And then… MARRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE….
Am I smart or am I a Genius?
But…
But… what with this strange posture of mine.
I was lying in my stomach in a bed. I know that I'm naked right now save for a towel covering my butt. And my back felt… sticky… no… I would say that it felt oily…
Strange…
Really, really strange…
Hmmmm….. What am I doing right now?
I didn't have any more time to think about it as in that moment soft oily hands touch my back and begun to massage it.
Is this what I think it is?
…
…
…
I was wrong when I said that I had time slipped…
I didn't Time slipped…
Because I died and went to heaven…
…
…
…
I was truly in heaven because right now…
Right now…
My beloved Angel's soft hands are massaging my back…
Yes, that's right…
Cho Chang is giving me a massage…
A tear escaped from my eyes…
The future me is so lucky….
"Honey," Cho Chang angelic voice cut my musings, "You really shouldn't overwork yourself. Look how much knots accumulate on your body."
"Cho!" I moaned as Cho massaged, using her skilled hands, a particular spot containing said knot in my back.
Wai… wai… wai… wait…
It wasn't the time to be enjoying this…
I still have a problem to solve. The present Cho still hate me. I need to know what I need to do to change that hate to like. If I didn't solve it, the future me wouldn't experience what I am experiencing right now.
Bu… bu… but…
It felt so good… I don't want to get out of this feeling.
'No, you need to steel yourself. If you don't learn what it is you do to make Cho fall for you, you wouldn't be enjoying this,' I said to myself, 'Now go and ask her.'
"Cho," I rasped out as I pushed my body to stand and to talk with my (Future) wife. But I soon regret it as I came face to face with my beautiful (future) wife and with that… with that I think I just lost some IQ.
"Uhm," I mumbled unintelligently.
"Yes, Honey. Is there a problem?" my (future) bride asked with obvious worry in her eyes.
"Cho!" I repeated as I readied myself to enact my plan.
But… but looking at her beautiful face… a sudden thought cross my mind.
Rather than "smart" or "genius," it feels like "cheating" or "cheater" fits a bit better for the description I describe myself…
Oh… Cheating….
Is it really right to follow my plan?
If I do something like this, wouldn't Cho Chang become "the wife of a despicable man"?
If the husband is a man who would stoop so low, would the wife still be happy?
Wouldn't I feel bad for Cho?
Damn, I'm so despicable…
I'm so selfish…
I didn't deserve a woman like Cho Chang…
"I'm sorry," I suddenly apologized on my knees and my head touching the floor.
"Eh!" the clueless response of Cho from my sudden behavior. But I couldn't fault her since my apology came out of nowhere.
But after a few seconds her expression darkened and her words came as a monotone, "Don't tell me that you're cheating on me."
"No, no, no, no. It's just that I can time slip in the future and the me right now came from ten years ago. It's the time after I stole your first kiss. I didn't know what to do since I think that you hate me at that time. And now because of that, I thought that I would ask the future you—I mean the you right now and do what you expect from a boy who stole you're first kiss at my time. I know I'm despicable to do that but please forgive me," I apologized, ranting. It was a proof that Hermione's characteristics were rubbing of me.
"Eh!" came as Cho Chang's strange reply.
TIME SLIP ENDS…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
Ahem, Ahem…
I mean…
TIME SLIP CONTINUES TO THE NEXT CHAPTER…
Tune in to know what comes next…
o0oOo0o
Author's Rant: Damn, I really wanna do a Video Game Harry Potter, not your normal Video Game Harry Potter but an Eroge Harry Potter. The problem is I don't know where to start…
Don't expect additional Chapter for this baby, My Wife is - along with my other fics for a few weeks as I wait for this muse of mine about Eroge Harry Potter to at least dry out. And for those waiting for an update of I'm Gonna be the Pirate King, I'll try my best to update the next chapter this week.
Author's Plea: Please review to let me know if you like the flow of my stories. And if you'd want you can suggest some ideas to make the story more interesting. This also applies to my other fics.
The Real Author's Note: No doubt some of you were wondering how much a wimp Harry is for suddenly blurting out his secret ability to his wife no less. All I can say is just wait for the next chapter, you wouldn't expect what really happened- I mean what happened next.
Author's Afterword: See you in a few weeks, I guess.
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