FicWad

Ash woke up one morning to the sound of his neighbor -Professor Oak- mowing his lawn. "Damn, its a beautiful day out today, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing...."
He hopped out of bed in his Teletubby footie pajamas,to look down and notice a wet spot where his crotch was.
"You gotta be kidding.... I guess I DID drink too much vodka last night at Misty's frat party."
And at that he changed into his green dinosaur pajamas and licked his footies clean.
He walked to the stairs and shouted, "MOM I'M UP MAKE ME BREAKFAST OR ILL POST YOUR POLEDANCING VIDEO ON YOUTUBE! P.S. I WET MY PANTS AGAIN BUT I ALREADY WASHED THEM!"
He started down the stairs, only to slip on a pile of rat crap tumble down the stairs, and pierce his nut sack on an upturned nail at the bottom.
Blood started squirting out of his crotch as he danced around like a marijuana crazed gorilla.
The pain was so intense he couldn't speak at all.
As he was hopping around grabbing his berries, he hit his back on the wall, triggering his weak bladder. Pee and blood were pooring out of the hole in his lower stomach area.
His mom came into the room and crapped herself when she saw she was standing in 5 inches of body fluids.
"SON, SON ARE YOU OK?!" She screamed frantically
Ash looked up at his mom.
"OF COURSE I'M NOT YOU RETARDED SLUT! I'M BLEEDING OUT OF MY SCROTUM LIKE A FOUNTAIN AND I'VE LOST AT LEAST 3 GALLONS OF BLOOD!"
She started to speak but he couldn't understand her as he drifted out of consciousness......
-----
-----
-----
-----
He awoke to find himself on an operation table with Professor Oak touching his twig-and-berries with prongs and an assortment of tools.
"What the- where am I?! And stop touching my man parts with salad tweezers!"
He hopped off the table and ran to the door, almost forgetting he was naked.
"Gimme my clothes back!" He shouted as he covered his stitches.
"Hold your horses lady-killer! You need to rest for a while!" He says.
He leaned over to his mom and quietly whispered, "He's quite under developed!"
"Can i leave now mom?"

"Yes, you and your small scrotum can leave honey."
Just before he was about to leave, his queer cousin Gary pranced into the lab with his rainbow gayness.
"Hellooooo dearest cousin! Your scrotum is looking nicer than usual today- oops!" He said with that California girl accent.
"Excuse me?" Said Ash. He hated gay people, he hated his cousin.
He ran up to Professor Oak and gave him a big hug. "Hellooo uncle!"
"Gary you slut i told you not to call me uncle in public! And how many times have i told you not to wear your rainbow gay pride sweater you gay fag wad!"

He didnt seem to be affected at all by this. " ill take that as a compliment! Hey Ash i like how everyone loves me and not you!"
This infuriates Ash.
"Nobody like you you burrito slut. Go lick a hotdog you fag ball!"
Still, Gary didnt care.
"Once again---compiment!"
Ash storms out.
On his way out, he slips on Pikachu crap and face plants into Gary's wet underwear load.
"DISGUSTING!!" He threw up all over himself and it got to the point where he couldnt breathe. He started hammering himself in the gut with his fists but he started coughing up blood with his vomit. One of his eyes bursted out of its socket.
His psycho Pikachu, which he had to disown, scampered up and swallowed his eyeball whole.
Vomit started bursting out of his empty eye socket.

READ VOLUME 2 TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!