Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Truth Is, You Should Lie With Me

I'm Falling Hard For You

by suchaphuckinladyy

Chapter title from Falling Fast, Avril Lavigne.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: NC-17 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Published: 2014-10-13 - 9450 words

It was now the last school week before winter break and Frank was seated in his Spanish class willing the time to pass by quickly. He had literally been staring at the clock for the last fifteen minutes of class. They had a full twenty minutes left to go before being dismissed.

Frank raised his head from the desk and discreetly pulled out his phone. Upon inspection he realized his teacher wasn’t even paying attention as she sat miserably at her desk grading papers. Frank scrolled through his texts until he landed on Sean and sent him a quick text.

“Could time stand still any longer?” xofrnk

Sean texted back almost instantly.

“Seriously dude, don’t jinx it.” fucking Sean

Frank chuckled quietly as he sent his reply.

“We’ll surly die in school. I’m like almost certain of it.” xofrnk

“What are you doing Mr. Iero?”

Okay so maybe his teacher wasn’t that into her grading.

“I was just checking the time.”

“There’s a clock on the wall for a reason Mr. Iero. I suggest you put that phone away before you don’t have one to put away at all.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Frank locked his phone and put it into his pocket without checking what Sean had said back. He looked up at the time on the wall and sighed. They had fourteen minutes left. He couldn’t understand why she cared about his texting when there were students talking throughout the class. Teachers were never fully fair.

“This shit sucks.”

“You can say that again.”

Frank laughed at the kid seated next to him; his name is Max.

“I don’t even get why class is so long when we always end up with twenty minutes left each period.”

“Unless you have Mr. Way; he makes sure he takes up every single minute of class.”

Frank ignored the butterflies that were drumming around inside of his stomach at the mention of his boyfriend’s name.

“Tell me about it. At least he’s not a complete bore though.”

“Yeah, I can give him that.”

Max and Frank shared a laugh. Frank checked the time and sighed at the fact that only two minutes had passed since talking with Max. He took a deep breath and slid down in his seat. He continued to converse with Max and before he knew it the bell was ringing.

Frank had never rushed out of class so fast. He just wanted this week to fly by so he could get to winter break already. He was so tired of being here. The only reason he had to continue coming is Mr. Way; he could always meet up with his friends outside of school. Frank hated that he couldn’t do that with his teacher without people getting suspicious of where he was going since he rarely ever went out without Sean.

His mom had grilled him for the longest time one night when he’d come into the house super late. He had spent a whole day with Gerard and they had exhausted themselves with exchanging several blowjobs within an hour sitting. To state the obvious they had passed out way pass the time they’d expected.

When they awoke it was midnight and Gerard had freaked out. He freaked way more than Frank had and he was the one who would have to come up with a lie and deal with the consequences. Gerard said his reason was that he was the adult and should’ve known better. Gerard didn’t want Frank getting into trouble for his carelessness.

Frank had come up with an excuse of going to see a movie that went on for longer than he thought to be the running time. He explained that he would’ve seen an earlier one if he knew it would’ve been that long. Frank’s mother had asked why he hadn’t called and he said he fell asleep before he could do it.

He went on to say that he didn’t see the point once he was on his way home. When his mother asked for the ticket stub he said he’d thrown it out. Frank’s mother looked skeptical on believing him but in the end she gave up and sent him to bed with a stern warning.

Ever since that day Gerard had Frank back by ten. He knew they’d had a close call with the last time, and he wasn’t chancing Frank getting into trouble where he couldn’t see Gerard, from being punished.

They still hadn’t had sex and truthfully neither one of them thought they could hold out any longer. Gerard wanted it to be the right moment. He didn’t want to rush things. Also, if Gerard would actually be honest, he was afraid that if they had sex Frank would somehow disappear.

Frank was way past waiting. One night he’d even tried to impale himself on top of Gerard. Gerard got very upset with Frank and needless to say anything they were doing had ceased. Gerard had even taken Frank home earlier than usual at Frank’s angry request. Frank couldn’t understand what the fuck Gerard was waiting for; that was two nights ago.

Frank walked into his next class and sat down haughtily. He hadn’t meant to, but seriously he just wanted to go home so he could change, and go to Gerard’s place. Yeah, that was the true reason he was trying to change time. Frank took out his notebook and got busy with his classwork from the day before that they hadn’t finished in this class.


Mr. Way sat at his desk watching Frank concentrate on his classwork. He hadn’t fully spoken with Frank since Saturday night when he said bye to him. The following day was filled with a few failed attempts at trying to text with Frank.

All of Frank’s replies were hasty and to the point. Mr. Way knew that Frank was still upset but he didn’t care. He just wanted to know that Frank still actually wanted him, which led to Mr. Way asking Frank over after school today.

Mr. Way hadn’t meant to but he called Frank’s name and Frank looked up at him with a slightly confused look. Everyone else continued to work on their school work as if no one else was even present. Mr. Way gestured for Frank to come over to him.

Frank got up and walked the short distance to his teacher’s desk. He was utterly confused as to what he could want with him. He was doing all of his school work and homework so he knew he didn’t owe Mr. Way anything. Once he was in front of him he raised his brows at him questioningly.


Mr. Way glanced at the student’s to make sure they were still doing their work, which they were, before continuing. Mr. Way decided to speak in code in case anyone was listening.

“I am very happy with your work in this class.”

Mr. Way raised his eyebrow at Frank and smiled when he noticed that Frank had caught on.

“I hope you’ll keep it up.”

In translation; I hope you’re still coming to my place.

“There’s no way that I wouldn’t.”

Mr. Way nodded and pointed towards Frank’s seat.

“You may resume to your work.”

“Thank you Mr. Way.”

Frank turned and headed back to his seat. Frank knew that Mr. Way was staring at his ass and honestly it annoyed Frank a little. He sat down quickly to prevent his teacher from looking any longer than he should have. He couldn’t want it that bad if he wasn’t taking it at every chance that was presented to him.

Frank looked at Mr. Way once more before getting back to his work. Mr. Way could tell that Frank was still upset with him but he would try to make up for that later. Right now he had papers to grade so he took his seat behind his desk and commenced to get to it.


Gerard turned on the light as he entered his residence followed by Frank. They took off their coats, scarves, and hats and hung them up. Frank walked over to the sofa and sat down.

“Go into the bedroom Frankie.”

Frank rolled his eyes but listened to the command. He sat on the bed and watched as Gerard closed the door. Frank let out a breath and stared at Gerard with a fed up look plastered upon his face.

“Frank… if you don’t want to be here I can take you home.”

“If I didn’t want to be here I wouldn’t be Gerard. You have authority but not that much.”

Gerard was stunned that Frank would say that the way he did. He knew Frank was still annoyed but damn.

“You don’t exactly give off the impression that you do want to be here.”

“Gerard I do, okay? But if you’re not going to give me what I want than why waste my time?”

“So this is only about me fucking you? Is that what you’re really trying to tell me? What? You’re not having fun with me anymore? The last thing that can entertain you is me sticking my cock in you?”

“No! That’s not…”

“And then what… huh!?”

Gerard’s voice slowly started rising. This was exactly what he was afraid of but he didn’t think Frank would disappear because he wanted to.

“Are you going to leave me once you get what you want!? Is that always what you wanted!?”

“Gerard please just…”

“You can’t really be that much of a cock slut that you’d actually use someone to get it!”

“Fuck you!”

Frank couldn’t believe Gerard would actually say that out of his mouth. He knew what he said was wrong but he didn’t mean it the way Gerard had taken it. Frank stood up and stormed towards the door. Gerard grabbed him and pushed him against the wall.

Frank didn’t have time to register what was happening before Gerard shoved his tongue into Frank’s mouth and kissed him with a force he’d never used in the past. If Frank wanted it that bad he’d give that to him because he always said he’d give Frank exactly what he wanted. Gerard didn’t like the thought of being used but if it would make Frank happy then so be it.

Gerard pulled Frank’s sweater up and off of him and threw it to the floor. Frank tried to voice his objection but was cut off again by Gerard’s mouth back on his. Frank pushed at Gerard’s shoulders but that only caused Gerard to push into him harder. Gerard reached for Frank’s pants and started to undo them.

“G-Gerard… please… stop.”

“Why? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Not like this.”

Gerard scoffed.

“Oh well excuse me. First you bitch at me for not giving it to you and now you’re bitching about how I am now that I’m complying with your wishes. What the fuck do you want from me Frank? Huh!?”

Gerard’s voice cracked and he backed away from Frank and turned his back on him. He didn’t want Frank to see him like this and he was embarrassed that he’d even started crying in the first place. Gerard knew now that this boy had his heart in a death grip and could do anything to sever it.


Frank stared at his boyfriend’s back as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that he’d just made him cry. He never wanted to do that and now he felt like the worst boyfriend in the world. Sure Gerard had made him cry before but they weren’t in a relationship and since they became a unit Gerard did everything in his power to make Frank happy.

Frank didn’t even feel like he deserved it anymore. He was acting like a spoiled brat about not being penetrated when Gerard really could’ve just fucked him and threw him away. Frank knew he should be glad that he had someone like Gerard and now he wished he’d never opened his mouth since they entered the room.

Frank walked over to Gerard and wrapped his arms around his waist. Gerard tensed and wiped at his face furiously. He didn’t want Frank here right now but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Frank that, probably because he knew he didn’t really mean it, he was just upset right now.

“I’m so sorry Gee.”

Gerard nodded and pulled Frank’s hands from around him. He left Frank standing at the foot of the bed and walked over to sit down at the head of it. He let his head rest on the headboard and kept his eyes shut.

“If you don’t want me here I could call Sean to get me.”

Gerard shook his head sadly. Just hearing Frank say he would leave hurt Gerard’s heart more than it should have.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just… when you don’t… when you don’t take it all the way with me I feel unwanted and… I don’t know what to do.”

Gerard opened his eyes and looked at Frank, like really looked at him. The boy had to be stupid to ever think Gerard didn’t want him. Frank consumed every single one of Gerard’s thoughts; day in and day out. There wasn’t a moment that Frank wasn’t on Gerard’s mind, if you didn’t get the gist of the above.

“You’re all I want. I want you so bad that the thought of having sex with you scares me, okay? I don’t wanna lose you. I can’t lose you.”

Gerard thought about his past with his ex-boyfriend and frowned.

“You won’t Gee.”

“How can you say that as convincing as you just did after what you said?”

Frank bit his lip and shrugged.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I just wanted to make you happy again. I brought you here to make up for how upset I got with you and then this happened. I want you in my life but if it’s just going to be for you to use me then I don’t want that. I already had that before… I can’t go through that again.”

Frank looked at Gerard confusedly. What or who was Gerard referring to and why hadn’t he said anything before? Frank sat at the bottom of the bed and reached out to touch Gerard’s outstretched leg.

“What are you talking about Gee?”

Gerard scoffed and smiled sadly.

“My ex-boyfriend used me for the little bit of money that I did have. He would take money from me and tell me that he was going out with a friend. I loved him so much that I never questioned him or the amount of money he took just for himself. I always figured they’d be going to more places than one.”

Gerard took a deep breath and closed his eyes trying to block out the images of the past in his head.

“One night while changing into our pajamas I noticed a mark on him. Normally that wouldn’t mean anything because he liked being dominated by me. We were way rougher than you and I.”

Gerard shrugged sadly at the memory. Frank could tell that this was a painful thing for Gerard but he needed to know what happened so he caressed Gerard’s leg letting him know that it was okay to continue.

“The thing that alarmed me was that he and I hadn’t had sex in a whole month. He was either always out or I was tired. If we were both up for it he wouldn’t… he would only use me to blow him. We hadn’t done anything more than that for the entire month. He didn’t even return the favor, but I didn’t care, because like I said I loved him that much.”

It pained Frank to hear Gerard confessing that he loved someone else but he knew Gerard had a past no matter the fact that he was only twenty-six. Gerard had always told Frank that he lived with a boyfriend in the past, but that was it. This was the first time they’d actually talked about him.

What pained Frank even more though was the fact that the guy was using him to get off and that’s what it seemed like Frank was doing. Frank would never intentionally make Gerard feel like that. He felt like scum for treating Gerard the way he had, even if it wasn’t intentional.

“I asked him about it and he lied to me of course. He told me that he’d fallen down our basement steps and scratched his hip on this random nail that we’d never gotten to remove from one of the steps. It was plausible so I believed him. After that I kept a close watch on him. I scanned his entire body discreetly whenever he changed in front of me. I never found any marks so I stopped. After a while I noticed that he had started changing in the bathroom. That made my suspicion radar go off. One night after he’d changed I tried to seduce him but he kept pushing my hands off. He told me ‘maybe tomorrow’.”

Gerard shook his head.

“I continued to try until he grabbed my wrists and squeezed rather tightly. I may have been the dominant one but that was only during sex. It was clear he didn’t want that so I backed off. I was still dominating but it was more of a mutual thing outside of the bedroom. I knew he was more in charge than I was although I basically took care of him. He was a college dropout and after so many failed attempts he stopped looking for a job. I granted him that because he had been working his ass off to find one. Anyway… about a week after the incident I had gotten sick at work. My stomach just wasn’t feeling right the whole day so they sent me home.”

Gerard stopped and looked at Frank and then turned away as if he was embarrassed about what he was about to say.

“Gee… it’s okay baby.”

Gerard nodded and sighed before continuing.

“I had walked into the house. Toby was supposed to be out but I saw his coat on the back of the sofa along with someone else’s. I figured he’d brought his friend over so I went into the kitchen to see if they were there but they weren’t. I heard muffled voices... they got louder as I approached my room. When I opened the door Toby was tied to the bed being fucked from behind by his ‘friend’. The funny part about it… that ‘friend’ picked just the right moment to scratch at Toby’s hips. I definitely knew where the mark had come from before. God was Toby loving it too. I remember feeling like nothing.”

Frank couldn’t believe what Gerard was telling him. How could anyone be so careless with another person’s heart? He now understood so much about Gerard though.

“It’s one thing to find out that your boyfriend is cheating… but it’s another to actually catch him in the act… in your bed… where you both make love and sleep every night. It’s the worst feeling in the world.”

Frank crawled onto the bed and pulled Gerard into an awkward hug. Gerard turned his body into Frank to lessen the awkwardness and held him. Frank rubbed Gerard’s back and kissed his cheek softly.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Gerard nodded and pulled back. He laid his head in Frank’s lap after maneuvering himself on the bed. Frank ran his fingers through Gerard’s hair as he started speaking again.

“I lost my shit. I screamed at the top of my lungs and I didn’t care how insane I looked or sounded. They both jumped and looked at me. The guy scrambled off the bed and tried to cover himself. Toby looked like the devil himself was standing in that doorway. He grabbed his clothes and tried to make a run for it while Toby fought pointlessly to try and free himself. Neither of them succeeded. I beat the shit out of the guy. He left with a broken nose, a swollen lip, and two black eyes, and the only reason I stopped is because I knew I’d kill him if I didn’t let him out then and there. They weren’t worth me going to jail.”

“They weren’t.”

Frank continued to card his fingers through Gerard’s hair.

“I threw him out naked and all. I took his coat and dropped it on the steps beside his crumpled body. I pissed on him and that coat before closing the door.”

“Wow… I never took you as one to give golden showers.”

“You do crazy things when your heart is broken and you want revenge.”


Gerard took a deep breath.

“I went back into the room and Toby was sobbing like a bitch. I don’t know what he thought I was going to do but he was begging and pleading for his life. I just looked at him for a moment. The man I had given my all to for three years had gone behind my back and hurt me in the cruelest way possible. He treated me like I was nothing. He promised me he’d never hurt me and then he did. I didn’t even know what to do besides start crying.”

Gerard closed his eyes as he started telling Frank everything that had happened once he confronted Toby.


“How long Toby?”

Toby looked over at Gerard through his tear filled eyes and sniffed pitifully. He knew he looked like trash and he knew usually Gerard would love it but now… he knew this was something Gerard would never want to see again in his life.

“G-Gee… could you untie me?”


Toby sobbed loudly and gave out a broken answer.

“T-t-two m-months.”

“Two months?”

Gerard started crying harder.

“Why? Why would you do this to me?”

Toby hated to see Gerard cry and he knew he could’ve prevented all of it but he didn’t know how to stop once he started. He craved the feeling of being with someone new. He and Gerard had been together for so long. He knew Gerard still loved him and wanted him but when he got new attention from someone else he couldn’t control himself.

Truth be told the guy didn’t even look better than Gerard. He didn’t have anything going for himself really either but Toby was blinded by the attention he was getting. After a month he’d started sleeping with the other guy and stopped sleeping with Gerard. He got the money he needed from Gerard and the attention elsewhere. One guy picked up where the other one lacked.

The guy wasn’t better than Gerard in any way, shape, or form at anything; not even the sex. Toby felt so bad about it though that he couldn’t have sex with Gerard. The only thing the guy had going for him was the fact that he hounded over Toby like Gerard had once done in the past. He had attention that Gerard couldn’t give mostly because he was always working.

“I needed t-to feel w-w-wanted a-g-gain.”

Gerard’s eyes widened.

“Wanted… WANTED!?”

Gerard stormed to the bed and punched Toby in his face. Toby’s head lolled to the side and blood formed in his mouth. He spit it out onto the bed and turned to look at Gerard. His wrists were no longer the focus of his pain; it was definitely his mouth.


Gerard pulled the tight knot, loose and Toby sighed when his arms fell into his lap. His new found comfort didn’t last long before Gerard pulled him off the bed by his hair and dragged him across the room.

Gerard swore he could see smoke rising from Toby’s carpet burned ass but he didn’t care. Toby screamed and clawed at Gerard’s wrists to try and make Gerard let him go but Gerard never did.

“You’re just a fucking coward! You always tried to take charge in the relationship because deep down you knew you were a cowardice bitch! I’ll show you once and for all who’s in charge.”

Gerard let go of Toby and kicked him hard in his side when he tried to get up. Toby tried again and again and each time Gerard kicked him until he couldn’t move anymore.

“I t-think you b-broke someth-thing Gee, Gerard! Gerard!”

Toby hoped Gerard wouldn't hurt him from slipping up and calling him Gee.

“I hope I did because you broke my fucking heart.”

Gerard sat down at the table and cried softly into his arms. He couldn’t believe he had been so stupid to let Toby get this far in hurting him. Had he just flat out asked him about it from the beginning he probably would’ve had the truth and been moving on with his life at this very moment.

Instead he was crying and debating whether or not to kill his cheating boyfriend before or after he told him everything. Gerard stood up and walked over to the kitchen drawer. He pulled out a knife and kneeled beside Toby’s battered body. He put the knife to Toby’s chin and forced Toby to look him in his eyes.

Gerard stared down at the man he had given his all to. He spoiled that man to the fullest and for what? To be fucked over? It just wasn’t fair. Gerard couldn’t understand what he’d done so badly in his life that he deserved this. The eyes he were looking into didn’t belong to the man he had fallen in love with.

“Why didn’t you just leave me if you weren’t happy? Why did you have to hurt me?”

“I would’ve h-hurt y-you even if I h-had left.”

“I wouldn’t have been this hurt.”

“I c-couldn’t Gee.”

Gerard pushed the knife into Toby’s chin.

“Call me Gee again and I will push this straight up into your skull Toby. I swear to God.”

Toby swallowed loudly and gave something of a nod, trying to prevent cutting himself on the knife.

“C-could you please take the k-knife away?”

“Can you take away this pain that I’m going through right now?”

“I-I wish I could Gerard… I really do.”

“You really don’t.”

“I never wanted t-to see you like t-this.”

“That’s why you brought him to my house and fucked him in my bed right!?”

Tobey shook his head no.

“Y-you were su-p-posed to be at w-work.”


Gerard pulled the knife from Toby’s chin and cut him swiftly on his arm. Gerard knew that would leave a nice mark and he didn’t care. He was hurting. All he wanted to do was cause Toby the same pain that he was feeling but there’s nothing like heartbreak. Gerard knows that very well.

Toby was crying loudly and clutching his arm. He was staring up at Gerard with wild eyes. He couldn’t believe Gerard was capable of such a thing but he was soon finding out that the phrase ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ didn’t just apply to woman. He had created a monster and he knew deep down inside that he deserved whatever Gerard decided to do with him.


“I-I wasn’t G-Gerard I-I-I…”

Gerard pulled Toby up by his hair and pushed him against the counter. Gerard moved the knife down to Toby’s limp member.

“Stop crying before I cut your flaccid little cock off.”

Toby hiccups and nods quickly.

“You like pain so much so why is this a problem for you?”

“Gerard please…”

“Please what!?”

“Please d-don’t hurt me. C-could you just let me get dressed and I’ll t-tell you whatever you wanna know.”

“Had you kept your clothes on in the first place you little slut you wouldn’t have to get dressed now would you!?”

“No Gerard.”

Gerard flung Toby to the floor harshly.

“You have thirty fucking seconds or I swear I’ll end you right where you are when I come for you.”

Gerard watched as Toby scurried away to locate his clothes. He heard his phone ringing in the distance but ignored it. He had more pressing matters to handle. He walked towards the room and ran into a rushing Toby.

“I-I’m sorry.”

“Stop fucking stuttering. That shit isn’t appealing when you’re not fucking.”

Toby nodded and backed into the room. Gerard closed the door on his ringing phone that was going off for the second time.

“Sit down.”

Gerard sat the knife on the dresser and slid down the wall next to it. He didn’t want to be anywhere near or on that bed. Toby however was now seated at the edge of it cowering at the corner furthest from Gerard.

“What did you do with all of the money I gave you each time you went out?”

“I… I spent it to take Mark out.”

“Don’t ever say his name in my presence again.”


“You spent my hard earned money on someone else?”

Toby nodded and wiped quickly at his eyes to stop the tears that escaped. When Gerard spoke in plain English that way Toby saw just how bad the situation was.

“I gave you everything Toby. I would’ve given my life for you. You needed somewhere to stay when you were abandoned by your family and I gave you that. I fed you. I clothed you. I made love to you any way you wanted me to. Whatever you asked for I gave it to you without a second thought and this is how you pay me back? All I wanted was for you to be faithful to me and love me. Instead you treated me like shit. You didn’t just cheat on me… you did it in our bed where we did everything together.”

Toby started crying freely now. Gerard was right in everything he was saying.

“I rocked you to sleep the first night you came to stay with me in that bed. You cried for hours and I was there. I took your virginity in that bed. I painted you on that bed. I fucking proposed to you on that bed. I was saving up to get the ring next month. I guess this was the reason why I couldn’t get it right away.”

“I’m sorry Gerard.”

“You’re not sorry. You didn’t look sorry when I walked into this room. You were begging him to fuck you. You were pushing back onto him the way you always did with me. You wanted it. You’re only sorry because you got caught.”

“That’s not true.”

“When we’re you going to tell me?”

“I don’t know.”

“So then you aren’t sorry. I know you weren’t going to tell me any time soon. You wanna know how I know that?”

Gerard didn’t wait for Toby to answer before he told him.

“Because you fucked him in our bed. You wouldn’t have done that if you felt bad or if you were going to tell me. You were pushing the boundaries to see how far you could get.”

Gerard chuckled sarcastically.

“Well look where that got both of you.”

Gerard stood up and walked over to Toby.

“I don’t even know why I haven’t killed you yet. I think it may have to do with the fact that I’m still hopelessly in love with you.”

Gerard caressed Toby’s jawline softly. He looked over his features and looked at the bruises he caused. He reached down and pulled up the sweatshirt that he was wearing. He looked over Toby’s body and closed his eyes. He exhaled deeply and let the shirt cover him again.

He had bruised Toby pretty bad and even though he knew Toby deserved it… he felt horrible; because at the end of the day this wasn’t the way Gerard would have handled things had he not found out this way. Gerard backed up slightly and looked at the shirt Toby was wearing.

It was the shirt he’d let Toby wear the first night he’d moved in. Toby snuggled in it and told him it made him feel safe. Toby put up a tough front but he was a teddy bear inside and Gerard always truly knew that because he truly knew Toby. Gerard leaned down and kissed Toby softly.

Toby sighed into the kiss and lifted his arm to wrap around Gerard’s neck to deepen the kiss. Everything they’d ever been through came out in that kiss and Toby knew that this would be his last time with Gerard as Gerard pulled Toby’s shirt off his head.

Gerard kissed the cut he’d left on Toby’s arm before leaving out of the room. He returned with a first aid kit and some peroxide. He took proper care of every bruise he left on Toby.

"You look like a mummy."

Gerard joked lightly and Toby chuckled along with him. It was saddening that, that would probably be the last laugh they ever share together.

He removed the kit and took Toby’s hand in his. He walked out into their living room and started removing the cushions from the sofa. Once he was done he pulled out the bed and smoothed his hand over the sheets. He sat down on it and motioned for Toby to join him. Gerard kissed Toby softly while running his fingers across his body.

He took off the sweatpants Toby was wearing and then stood to shed his clothes. That day he made sweet love to Toby for the last time. Gerard had returned Mikey’s calls that night and told him everything. Gerard had found out that his neighbor had actually called Mikey and clued him in on something being wrong. She was worried but didn’t want to get herself into it so she called Mikey.

Mikey had already been on the eight hour drive over to where Gerard lives when Gerard had called him back. Mikey had gotten a hotel once Gerard had proven that he was okay enough to wait until the morning to leave. Gerard had a few things he had to do before leaving anyway. The next morning he had left with Mikey, taking only his clothes, and leaving only a note.

“Dear Toby,

I gave you everything that I could. If I didn’t give you the proper attention you needed it was only because I was working so hard to give you everything else. I could’ve fixed the problem if only you had told me about it. I would’ve done anything to make you happy. I guess you didn’t fully understand that.

You are the love of my life and I never thought I could hate you… I probably still don’t. I dislike you a lot though at this moment in time and I don’t think I would ever be able to forgive you. You broke my heart so badly. I literally felt it shattering into a million small pieces. You never know what pain is until you’ve experienced heart break. I hope no one ever does that to you, even if you do deserve it.

I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you until now. I was ready to love you for a lifetime but you weren’t ready for that. I can see that now. No matter what you may say to kid yourself into thinking you were. I wish you would’ve told me instead of showing me.

I’m sorry for the way I treated you when I saw that. At the time I wasn’t and when I look back on this I may even think ‘he deserved it’, but deep down I know you really didn’t. I should’ve never hurt you in that way and I hope you can forgive me for that.

I left everything for you. I even paid the rent for the next three months with some of the money I was going to spend on the ring. I left you $300 to spend on food and I paid the bills for three months too. Anything after that time I can no longer help you with. I hate to abandon you like this but you abandoned my heart when you stepped out on me.

One day I will stop loving you and when that day comes you’ll know. I’ll make contact with you. Somehow, someway. Until then old friend, I’ll see you when.


Your Gee.


Frank was at lost for words after everything Gerard had just revealed to him. He couldn’t believe Gerard had been through that. He didn’t want to make things worse but he had questions.

“Why did you pay for him to have things even after he hurt you so badly?”

“I loved him. He didn’t have anything and I knew that. It didn’t matter what he had done to me because I had hurt him back pretty badly and in leaving him I know that was painful too. I told him I would always stay with him no matter what but I never thought he would actually test what I said in such a cruel way. Since I was going back on a promise the least I could do was take care of him for a little while longer and give him time to get himself together. It wasn’t like I was going to use the money on anything else. Technically the money was going to him anyway.”

Frank shook his head still not fully understanding.

“But he hurt you Gee.”

“I know that but like I said… I hurt him too.”

“Okay. Why did you make love to him just to leave him the next morning?”

“It was my way of saying good bye to everything I loved… which was him. That was the only way I knew how. Telling him wasn’t going to cut it for me. I needed him to know how much he hurt me and though we made love… he knew.”

“Do you miss him?”

“At this moment... yes. He hurt me but we had so much together. I asked him to marry me for a reason. Looking back now I think he just may have been lost.”

Frank didn’t like knowing that Gerard missed Toby. He had him now so there was no reason to dwell on the past. Frank wasn’t going to be a dick about it though.

“Have you met up with him?”

Gerard sighed deeply.


“So you’re still in love with him?”

Gerard sat up and looked Frank in his eyes.

“I am not in love with him. I do still love him though. You have more of my heart than he does. I promise you that Frankie.”

“When did this happen?”

“Two years ago.”

Frank couldn’t help the pained look that surfaced on his face.

“After two years you still love him?”

Frank backed up and tried to control his breathing.

“Frank I’m moving on and I’m doing it with you. You’re the one that I want.”

Frank sobbed and stood up.

“How can I believe that?”

“Because you believe in us Frankie, and you should.”


Frank walked away from the bed and headed towards his sweater. He picked it up and covered his body in it again. He felt exposed and wrong.

“I’m sorry. I know this is about you and I swear I wanna be there for you but how can I comfort you when I know you still love another man? I’m really trying to calm down… I promise I am… but… you love him! It’s been two years! Will that love ever go away?”

Gerard stood up and walked over to Frank. He wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly.

“I don’t know Frankie. Only time will tell. I do know that I was in love with him a year ago and now I no longer am. Before I met you I hadn’t been attracted to another man. You changed everything for me. I’m falling hard for you.”

Frank looked up at Gerard.

“What do you mean Gee?”

“I’ll tell you exactly what I mean when the time is right.”

Frank nodded sadly and Gerard reached up to catch the falling tears from Frank’s eyes.

“I’m sorry I made you cry Gee and I’ll wait for as long as you want me to. I promise I’ll be good and I’ll only give myself to you. I will never look for attention elsewhere because you’re the only person I could ever want it from.”

Gerard smiled while tears welled up in his eyes. He wanted to tell Frank he loved him so bad but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead he pulled Frank back to the bed and sat him down. He pushed him back until he was lying flat on his back and climbed on top of him.

Gerard licked Frank’s neck before he nibbled on it and sucked lightly. He knew not to leave another mark like before. He couldn’t wait until the day came that he could do as he pleased with Frank anywhere and in any way. He lifted up and took off his shirt. Frank sat up and did the same with his sweater.

Gerard then got up and took off his shoes and socks. Frank repeated everything Gerard did until they were both naked in front of each other. Frank crawled on the bed and lay down. Gerard covered Frank’s lower body with his own and moaned when his cock touched with Frank’s.

He wanted to be inside of Frank so bad right now but he wasn’t going to have sex with Frank after what he had just told him. Instead he was going to give Frank the greatest orgasm he’d ever had without being penetrated.

Gerard slowly rubbed his cock against Frank’s. Frank moaned and held onto Gerard’s arms that were planted on either side of his head. He held on tight and he pushed up into Gerard’s movements. It felt like he was riding the best wave of his life.

Gerard continued with the slow rhythm, trying his hardest to make love to Frank, even though he wasn’t inside of him. He wanted Frank to know that he didn’t want to be anywhere but here with him.

From the way Frank was arching off the bed and moaning Gerard could tell that Frank felt the same way he did. Gerard pushed Frank’s hair back and kept his hand on Frank’s head. Frank mewled and pushed his head back into the mattress.

“Ohhhhhh… ohhh! Oh Gee… oh God Gee!”

Frank felt tingling sensations throughout his whole body. He felt them in his hands, abdomen, toes, and legs, everywhere. He could barely breath under Gerard’s amazing touch and when he looked into Gerard’s eyes it took everything in him not to explode right then.

Gerard’s eyes were hazy and he looked like he wanted to say something but Frank didn’t quite know what. Of course we all know what he truly wants to say; that he loves Frank. He pressed his lips to Frank’s and his eyes rolled in the back of his head behind his closed eyelids. It was the best kiss he’d had in his entire life.

Frank moaned into the kiss when Gerard’s cock brushed the sensitive area of his cock. He felt like he was going to die and honestly this would be the best way to go. His chest felt heavy but in a good way. He felt so close to Gerard he almost felt like they didn’t need penetration… almost.

Their cocks were leaking with precum, Frank more than Gerard, but both definitely making a sweet mess to make the motions more fluent. Gerard loved the feelings he felt coursing through his body. Frank was all that he needed right now.

“Frankie… I… oh Frankie! I…”

Frank opened his eyes and caressed Gerard’s face with both his hands. Gerard could see the earnest in Frank’s eyes for him to say what he wanted to say but he couldn’t.

“What is it Gee?”

“I like you so much baby.”

Frank bit his lip and nodded.

“I like you too Gee baby.”

Frank wrapped his legs around Gerard’s waist, pulling him closer, and pushed into him harder but just as slow as before. Frank wanted to cum and he wanted Gerard to cum with him. He linked his fingers behind Gerard’s neck and gazed into his eyes.

“I think I’m falling for you too Gee.”

Gerard moaned out loudly and started cumming all over Frank’s cock and stomach. Frank looked between them and saw how Gerard’s cock pumped out his cum for him, and felt how Gerard’s body quaked against his, and he lost it.

His mind became a big haze as he trembled and spilled over both of their stomachs, slickening them both up even more, and loving it. They both continued to moan and rut until they couldn’t take anymore and collapsed on the bed.

Gerard looked over at Frank and smiled. He got up off the bed, on shaky legs, and went to get a wet wash cloth to clean them both off. Once he was done he put it back in the bathroom and closed the bedroom door. He climbed into the waiting sheets that Frank had in the air.

Frank wrapped the sheets around Gerard’s body and held him tightly. He wasn’t stupid by far, he knew what Gerard had been trying to say, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it while knowing that Gerard still loved someone else.

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to love me the way you loved Toby?”

Gerard shook his head no and smiled to ease the hurt look on Frank’s face.

“I’ll love you way more than I ever loved him.”

“Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Gerard kissed Frank’s nose softly while trying to ignore the temperature of Frank’s nose ring.

“Okay baby.”

Frank looked up into Gerard’s eyes.

“Did you just make love to me?”

Gerard kissed Frank’s pretty lips softly and grinned at how cold the metal looped into it was. It was just as cold as the metal in Frank’s nose.

“The best way that I could without being inside of you.”

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

“I’m glad because it was for me too.”

“You mean to tell me that after all the sex you’ve had in the past our tiny little frottage session was the best orgasm you’d ever had.”

“I am telling you that and I’m telling you that because it’s true. I meant it when I said that no one has ever made me feel the way that you do. You send electricity through my body with just one touch. So yes, our ‘tiny little frottage session’ was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

Frank smiled and snuggled closer to Gerard.

“If I ever see the guy that hurt you, you may have to restrain me, because I want to hurt him so badly. You’re the greatest person I’ve ever met and you deserve nothing but the best. I’m going to try to give you that. I’ll even take care of you when I am able to. You’ll never want for nothing.”

“Thank you baby.”

Frank yawned and nodded as they both drifted off to sleep.


Frank laughed as he sat in the food court of the mall with Sean and Adam making jokes. Frank and Adam had become closer after Adam told Frank how he felt and it was an amazing friendship. Sean had even gotten close with the boy, hence why they’re all hanging out.

They were doing some Christmas shopping and got hungry in their endeavor so they took a break. They went to the mall directly after school. It was two days before their break started and they were not about to spend it shopping. They had enough decorating to do around their houses.

They planned on starting at Frank’s first, then Sean’s, and last but not least Adam’s. After they complete each house they were going to sit around and watch Christmas movies while drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies.

Sean looked up and wasn’t surprised at all to see Gerard standing a few feet away watching them. He knew that Frank had told Gerard where they would be today and totally counted on seeing him there. Frank didn’t notice though so Sean let Gerard have his fun watching.

Gerard watched and listened as Frank giggled and tried to catch a piece of toffee popcorn in his mouth. It bounced off his nose thanks to Adam’s poor aim. Adam laughed and moved as Frank tried to hit him.

Frank stood up and pretended to strangle Adam with his arm. Gerard couldn’t take his eyes off the tight fighting jeans that Frank was wearing. They made his ass look amazing and he was silently praising himself on not getting a boner in the middle of the mall. Mikey sidled up besides Gerard and shook his head.

“You are hopeless bro.”

“Shut up Mikey.”

“Hey… who’s the kid he’s strangling?”

“That’s Adam.”

“That’s Adam!?”

“Yeah man.”

“He’s a looker. Why did Frank pass that up for you?”

“Fuck off.”

“You know I’m kidding big bro. I’m sure there was a reason why he ended up with you and not Adam. I’m about to go find out what that reason was.”

Gerard grabbed Mikey’s arm before he could get too far away and yanked him back.

“What are you talking about?”

“Hey… I have needs too and that boy is one of them. Seriously, just look at him. He’s handsome and cute. I need a boyfriend and so does he. Why not?”

“Because you’re six years older than him.”

“You’re one to talk when you’re ten years older than your boyfriend.”

Mikey whispered harshly. Gerard rolled his eyes.

“At least we’re both still in school and teaching doesn’t count as ‘in school’.”

“Alright Mikes. Go for it.”

Mikey nodded and headed over to the table with Gerard hot on his heels.

“Hey guys!”

Mikey spoke up first and Sean waved. Frank turned and saw who it was and his face lit up. He was honestly happy to see Mikey and Gerard. Adam looked and smiled while waving but that was all.

“Hello Adam… my brother told me your name.”

Mikey explained when he saw the horrified look on Adam’s face.

“Oh! Mr. Way’s your brother? That’s cool.”

“My name is Mikey.”

Adam smiled as he reached out his hand to shake Mikey’s. Mikey took Adam’s hand in his and kissed the top of it. Adam stared in total astonishment.

“Nice to meet you Adam.”

“I-it’s nice to meet you t-too Mikey.”

Everyone was still staring at Mikey with shocked expressions on their faces save for Gerard. It took everything in Gerard not to burst into laughter. Frank looked at him questioningly and Gerard just shrugged.

“Could I get you something to drink? A hot chocolate or a coffee?”

“I um… already had something to drink.”

“Well maybe you could take it to go.”

Adam smiled and nodded.

“I guess I could do that.”

“Okay. Take a walk with me.”

Adam stood up and looked at the arm Mikey was offering him hesitantly before linking their arms and walking off with Mikey. Gerard took Adam’s seat and waited for Frank to start in on him. 3… 2…

“What was that about?”

…1. Gerard chuckled and shook his head at Frank.

“Mikey just saw someone he liked and went for it.”

“Does you whole family date people years younger than them?”


“Naw, it’s cool man.”

Gerard addressed Frank and placed a soothing palm on Frank’s thigh.

“We don’t actually. To be fair Mikey’s only six years older than Adam.”

“Oh. I’m sorry about my bluntness. I was just a little caught off guard. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Gerard put up his free hand in a dismissive manner.

“Like I said, it’s cool.”

Gerard watched as his brother clearly added Adam’s number to his phone. He smiled and turned back to Frank.

“How have you been?”

Gerard moved his thumb against Frank’s thigh.

“You mean since I last saw you in school?”

“You know what I mean Frankie.”

“I’ve been amazing. It was amazing.”

Gerard smiled at the fact that Frank was always in tune with him. After the day they unofficially made love they hadn’t seen each other besides school. Gerard didn’t want to ask Frank through text and they hadn’t been able to talk on the phone because Frank’s mom was always checking in on him now since he’d come in late that time.

“I can say the same thing.”

Sean scrunched up his face and stood up.

“I’ll leave you two to your secret talk.”

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll be on my way. See Mikey’s coming.”

Sean looked up and sure enough Mikey was returning with a very giddy Adam and a very toothy grin. It was obvious they hit it off right away. Frank faintly wondered if Mikey had told Adam his age.

Gerard squeezed Frank’s thigh before standing up and patting him on the shoulder. Adam took his seat back and Sean sat back down in his also. Mikey patted his brother on the back and started walking away.

“I’ll give you a call later Adam. See you guys later.”

They chorused a bye and Gerard waved to them all.

“See you all tomorrow. Bye Frankie.”


Adam looked at Frank weirdly and then his eyes grew the size of disco balls.


“Adam hush!”

Sean reprimanded him and Adam nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“How was I supposed to know if I could trust you with something like that?”

“Well since I agreed to date a man six years older than me does that make me any better?”

“Well he’s not your teacher.”

“Shut up Sean!”

Sean stared as both the boys grilled him and shouted at him. He zipped his lips and handed Frank the key.
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