FicWad

"It was 1965 and it was bittersweet for me for several reasons. One is because my mother was back in a financial bind and I didn't know how I could help her. I had my best friends in my corner and they helped anyway they could. Danny raised his prostitution price, Kimberly pawned things and Deena asked gave some money that her aunt had given her three years before. I hated that my friends had to sacrifice things to help but we were friends after and we would do anything to help each other out. When my mother found out that Danny had been prostituting himself she tried to talk him out of it but it didn't work. I went to his house one day in early January we were talking about my situation. He told me that prostitution was the only way he knew how to survive and that that was all he was good for."

"I lowered my eyes and slapped him in his face. He looked at me stunned with tears in his electric blue eyes. I told him that he was worth more than that and that was talented. I told him that he could sing as well as arrange vocals flawlessly. He laughed coyly and looked away from me. He mumbled under his breath that I was just trying to butter him up. I was fed up with down talking that I gritted my teeth and jacked him up against the kitchen wall. I told him to stop talking about himself that way and remember that he has friends and two women that love and care about him. He looked at me and said really. He said his own mother didn't give a damn about him and that I would never understand his struggle.I yelled and said that I do understand."

"He looked at me with unconvinced expression. Before I could answer the doorbell rang. I let him go and walked to the door. It was Kimberly and Deena. They had come over to hang out. Kimberly saw Danny and walked over to him and asked if he was alright. He said yeah and Kimberly not disbelieving him asked again and we all walked into the kitchen. I sat at the table, Deena leaned on the island, Kimberly sat on the counter and Danny was leaned up against the pantry door. Danny said that he was sick of prostituting himself. Deena said there were shelters he could seek out and Danny instantly shot the idea down. He must had been in foster care or something to have shot it down so quickly. Kimberly tried talking him out of it but he wouldn't budge."

"I threw my hands up and told him to do what he wanted. He said that he knew what he was doing was risky and that if risk is what takes to survive then so be it. Deena reminded him that we were The Lone Wolves and that we spent every boiling summer deathly winter honing our craft and for what? For him to spread his legs or open his mouth for some creepy old pervert? I think not. We had breakfast together and went into the den to practice harmonizing. Kimberly took the lead and we sang Hardships of A Child Hooker. It was song I couldn't stand singing because Danny I knew what Danny was out there doing every night to make his ends meet."

"We sang that song strictly on electric guitar. Although we had only been singing together for two years the harmony for that song was an achievement. I told Danny he should sing it because he could feel the lyrics better than I could or the girls for that matter. He objected and told me to sing it. We clashed over it for hours before I decided to do it. We sang that song for three minutes and rehearsed others for the next five hours. Danny was really a perfectionist and he wanted our group to have phenomenal quality to our group sound as a whole. I agreed with him but we would go days without sleep to get things done. But since we all wanted the same thing those sleepless nights of January were worth it. At the end of January we threw Danny a birthday party."

"He seemed happy although he didn't show it. Deena baked him a cake, Kimberly made a big dinner and I brought gifts using our money. We didn't decorate the house because it was just a family thing. When the cake finished and Deena frosted it we sang him happy birthday. We sang it in three voice two part harmony with Deena signing lead. She sounded clear as a crystal. Kimberly and I looked at each other smiling because Danny never let Deena sang lead on any songs, it was always Kimberly or myself. Dinner was good and Deena had a real motherly touch to her cooking despite being only nine years old. Danny mumbled a thank you. He was developing at a very slow pace and that was good enough for us."

"School was still the same the only difference was we stuck together. If one was being picked on they'd have to deal with three others. Deena was maternal and submissive while Kimberly was free loving and an iron fist. Danny was our alpha and I was the laid back jokester. We always paired with each other on group projects and when we went on field trips. I remember on the fifth of February we went to a history museum and a girl pushed Deena into a glass case. The girl must've thought Deena was going to take it. The next thing we knew Deena was fighting her back and the girl got her ass kicked. When they were separated from one another the girl told the teacher that Deena started it and hurt her. The teacher didn't believe her because she was a infamous troublemaker. That was one of my most memorable and cherished memories of Deena."

"We continued the rest of the field trip with our arms linked together. When we returned to school the following Monday we had to write a one page paper on what we found interesting at the museum. History wasn't one of my favorite subjects but I did put forth my best effort. That night Carol and Kimberly came over for dinner. We had lasagna and salad. After we finished cleaning the kitchen my mother and Carol strolled down memory lane. Kimberly and I were in the den looking at our shelves of movies. Kimberly was a huge fan of Carla Lexington and Garner Mayfield's work. We just sat on the couch talking about what we would do when we became famous."

"Kimberly wanted to travel the world. I wanted nothing more than to get my mom in a position where she wouldn't have to worry about money. Kimberly and Carol left around nine that night and I went to bed. Jason didn't even come down for dinner. He didn't want to see Kimberly but the feeling was mutual so it was a win win situation. That Saturday we walked to the dock and stared at the water. Danny was feeling tuneful and we started harmonizing. It wasn't any song in particular we just sang whatever came to our mind. We felt tranquility whenever we sang at the dock. It was like time had froze in place just for us. Even though we weren't doing any serious blowing Kimberly still did her footwork dance with her chin up and swaying in the breeze. The rest of us just stood there with our arms at our side singing."

"We stayed at the dock from eight in the morning until eight at night. We walked home together. We saw Jason sitting on one of his friends porches and he decided to get cute and said something disrespectful. Knowing their tempers Kimberly and Danny cursed him out and he was ready to brawl. Deena stood in between the three of them and told Jason to go back to the porch before things got ugly. Jason said that Deena saved them both from an ass whooping but Danny and Kimberly weren't afraid at all. We resumed walking until we reached my street. They hugged me and bid me goodnight. I waled down the sidewalk smiling just because. When I got home my mother was asleep on the couch. I shook awake and walked her to her room."

"I washed my hands and warmed dinner that my mother had prepared earlier. I stood at the microwave for three minutes. When the timer dinged I got my plate and walked to the table. I blessed my food and began eating. As I ate I thought about Jason. I couldn't wrap my mind around how I protected him from people ten times my size and he didn't do the same for me. The very thought of that pissed me off to no end. After I finished dinner I washed my dishes and went to my bedroom. I really missed New York. Yeah I was friendless there but I was okay. In California it was like just because your different they wanted you dead because you were a different complexion than them."

"February had went by without a hitch and March was in bloom. Everyone was talking about their spring break plans. My mom wanted to go to Annapolis, Maryland to visit my paternal grandparents. I hadn't met them before and this could've been my only chance so I packed my suitcase the night before. On Saturday morning my mother and I rode to Kingsley Airport. I had never flown before so it was new for me. My mother on the hand grew up flying so it was a no brainer for her. She told me to think of a happy place to take my mind off the turbulence. I thought my friends and I being onstage singing together. There were thousands of fans screaming our names and holding posters with pictures of us on them. It was a good eccentric feeling."

"We arrived in Annapolis on Monday morning and my rented a car. We rode for about an hour before we arrived in a upper middle class neighborhood. We pulled into a driveway. The house was one story but it was high end. We got our luggage and two people were on the porch smiling. They came downstairs with open arms. My grandmother walked to me crying and hugged me. I hugged her back and she smelt of roses and cinnamon. When we separated she said I had grown a mile since she last saw me. She told me her name was Sabrina. Then the man knelt down and hugged me. He told me his name was Dean. He took our suitcases and we went inside. There house was magnificent. There was 1930s vintage furniture. There was a bear rug in the den and a raging fire going in the fireplace."

"My grandmother led us to the den and we sat down on the couch. She poured us each a cup of tea. She asked my mother how she was doing. She smiled and said fine. She told her of the financial trouble we were going through. Her facial expression went from happy to sad and concerned in five seconds. She asked if she needed any help. She said no and that we would be fine. My grandmother didn't buy whatsoever and went to her bedroom. She returned with a checkbook and wrote out a check for ten thousand dollars. That was a hefty sum she wrote out and my mother didn't want to take it but my grandmother insisted. She thanked her and took the check."

"My grandfather came into the den and sat in a chair across from us. He asked how I was doing in school. I told him I was doing fine and that we had took a field trip recently to a history museum. He seemed very interested in me. As our conversation continued his face became shrouded with sadness. He told my mother it was nine and a half years since my fathers death and my mother dabbed her eyes. My grandmother placed an arm around her shoulder comfortingly. I placed my hand on her hand and patted it soothingly. My grandfather asked if she had began courting anyone and she said no and he asked why. She said because she wanted to focus on us and that a man wouldn't want to be with her because she had kids."

"My grandmother thought that was blasphemy and said that there's someone out there for everyone. She said that the love of her life came and went already. My grandparents couldn't bring my father back all they could do was console her and take it in stride everyday. My grandfather changed the mood when he asked if we were hungry. We said yes and they led us to the diningroom. It had three chandeliers hanging above the table. My grandmother joked that airline food tasted like rubble and charcoal. My mother laughed trying not to remember my father. My grandmother walked in with two plates in had. He placed them in front of us. My mother asked if they were hungry and they said they ate earlier and that the food they prepared was for us. We blessed the food and began eating."

"My grandmother placed her chin on top of her hands and she looked at us. Every time I looked at her she smiled lovingly and I would blush being shy and looked down at my plate and continued eating. My grandfather asked my mother what kind of work she did and she said she was a bank teller. My grandmother whistled impressed and said that she wondered why she struggled so hard if she worked for a bank. My mother said that the pay was good for someone who lived alone not for a single mother with two children. My grandmother shook her head in agreement saying that when she was raising her five children with my grandfather was hard because they only made forty cents an hour when they had their first two children."

"When my father was born my grandparents were still struggling harder due to the aftermath of the Great Depression. In 1941 when the United States entered the second world war my grandparents became relatively wealthy. My grandmother owned a hair salon franchise and my grandfather owned several own car dealerships. It was such a surprise to me how they lived so luxuriously. After dinner we washed dishes and my grandmother showed us our rooms. My mother and I were right down the hall from each other and my grandparents were closer to the front of the house. My room was fit for a boy. It had dark blue paint and airplanes hanging down from the ceiling."

"When night fell I took a bath. I stayed in there for forty-five minutes and came out. I went to bed wondering about my friends. I hoped that Danny took my encouragement to heart. I awoke the next morning with a renewed mind. My grandparents had made breakfast and were out on the veranda drinking orange juice. I made my bed brushed my teeth and got dressed. I walked to the kitchen where I saw my mother putting scrambled eggs on her plate. I greeted her with a smile and vice versa. She made me a plate and we walked into the diningroom. We blessed our food and began eating. I asked her if she felt comfortable with Jason staying with one of his friends and she said yes and she went onto say that she couldn't wait for him to turn eighteen."

"I laughed and said I couldn't wait either. We spent the rest of breakfast in silence. When I finished I washed my dishes and went to join my grandparents on the veranda. I greeted them and they greeted me. They looked peaceful and happy together. I asked them where they were from originally. My grandmother said she was from New Hampshire and my grandfather said he was from West Virginia. They said they met when my grandfather came to New York on a business trip with his father. He met my grandmother in 1925. They didn't hit it off right away because my grandmother thought he was a player. Well by February 1926 they became close friends. They started dating in 1928 and married in 1931."

"My grandparents had my Uncle Jonathan in 1934, Aunt Jade in 1935 my father in 1936 my aunt Samantha in 1937 and uncle Angel in 1939. They weren't the closest of siblings and they got whippings a lot. After my aunt Jade was born they moved to New York and settled in Buffalo. They said when my father was thirteen he met my mother in Katie Springs, New York at a festival. They were shy around each other but my mother was more straight forward than he was. When he graduated high school he entered the Air Force and rose to the rank of first lieutenant. While he was relieved from duty my mother became pregnant and they vacationed to Hawaii for a month. Then three months later on September 21, 1955 my father died after crashing off the coast of Connecticut. My mother and grandparents were devastated when they learned of his death."

"His injuries were so bad that they wanted him cremated. He was buried Katie Springs Cemetery. They said that his siblings attended but didn't stay long because they had other things they had to do. My mother and grandparents were furious with them and they have been estranged for the past ten years. I haven't met any of them and that was the reason why. We stayed in Annapolis until Saturday. We shared a tearful goodbye and drove to the airport. We boarded the plane. When I took my seat all I could think about was my grandparents. My mother sat next to me and asked if I was okay. I said I was fine and couldn't believe my aunts or uncles. She said that the other reason they were estranged from him and his parents was because of my interracial birth with me. I was unaware at the time that that was forbidden.

"But my parents were in love and they weren't going to let society tell them they couldn't be together. The plane took off and I soon fell asleep. When we returned to California on Monday I felt my throat swell up. My body temperature had went up drastically. While we loaded our luggage into the car I fainted on the ground. My mother got me into the car and drove to the hospital. The doctor prescribed me some medicine and told my mom that I needed rest. When we got home she disrobed me and dressed me in some cooler clothes and put me in bed. I fell asleep upon contact with my bed. I slept for days on end. I had no idea what was going on in reality because I was a visitor in dreamland. I awoke the next day and I could barely open my eyes. My mother was sitting next to me. I smiled and struggled to moved my upper body. She told me to take it easy and fed me some ice cream to try and bring down my fever. I couldn't even taste the Rocky Road flavored desert. I just cried and my mother patted my head and shushed me soothingly telling me everything was going to be okay. She then left me and I fell back asleep."

"The next day I awoke up around twelve noon and my mother was sitting next to my bed and she was crying. I felt really bad because I knew Jason was fucking her off and not helping her. I wished that my fever came and went like a mist but it wasn't so. I was a victim to my own body. All I could do was lay there and watch my mother cry over me. I knew bills were piling up and we were falling behind. Damn and stardom wasn't coming any faster. There were days I just wished I wouldn't wake up at all because the pain was so unbearable. I stayed strong for my mother because I knew once I recovered everything would be back to normal. I also wondered during my consciousness how my friends were doing. I hoped Danny wasn't causing any friction with Kimberly and Deena. It was so much crossing my mind and there was no kind of action I could take to help both my mother and friends. It was going to be one hell of a week for me."