FicWad

It’s been one week since Frank has been going to college. All his life has consisted of is homework, Adam, and glances in Professor Way’s direction whenever they crossed paths in the hallway. The two of them hadn’t spoken besides the occasional ‘hi’ or nod in the other’s direction, and it was always Professor Way who initiated it. If it were up to Frank he’d avoid Professor Way at all costs, because honestly it hurt too bad to see him.

Frank never dreamt that he’d be avoiding Professor Way in any way, shape, or form, in his life. It’s funny how things change. Frank had always thought they’d be right back together if they ever ran into each other again, but that turned out to be a lie too. Professor Way hadn’t waited for Frank. Frank resigned himself to thinking he wasn’t worth being waited for.

Every night Adam had to reassure Frank that that wasn’t the case, and every night Frank cried himself to sleep, because it was the case. No matter what anyone said the evidence was right there. Professor Way had someone else he was engaging with and that clearly means Frank wasn’t worth waiting for. Adam always argued that the guy, who Frank learned is named Louis, (such an ugly name if you asked him), isn’t exactly Professor Way’s boyfriend. That doesn’t make any difference to Frank though; Professor Way was trying to move on.

Everything Frank thought he knew and wanted all turned out to just be something that couldn’t happen. Yeah, sure, Frank could meet up with Professor Way, and tell him how he truly feels, but the fear of being rejected is too great. Frank remembers how he felt when he was younger and Professor Way had rejected him; he didn’t want a repeat of that. If Professor Way rejected him when he was single, he’d definitely reject him now that he’s involved. You could say Frank’s being a coward, but really he’s just trying to protect his heart from more pain.

Maybe if Frank had gone straight to college instead of moping around trying to find his purpose in life after high school he and Professor Way would’ve been fine. They would’ve been back together and living happily ever after by now. Instead Frank was busy looking for some sort of happiness and he could’ve found it by going straight to college. It pisses Frank off so badly most days that everyone knew where Professor Way was, but never told him. They knew what college Frank wanted to go to and they could’ve said something.

Frank would give them the benefit of the doubt though. Professor Way hadn’t started working at the University right away, but when they found out, and knew Frank would be heading there they should’ve said something. Frank feels like everyone played with his relationship as if it were a game, or what could’ve been his relationship. Everyone was just waiting around for them to run into each other instead of saying ‘hey, your ex will be there, you two should talk’ before Professor Way became involved with someone else. No one thought about it that way, because they all have their precious significant others now, so apparently Frank’s happiness don’t matter.

Frank knows it’s not fair to say that, but can anyone really blame him? Frank’s spent so much time being angry, upset, hurt, and crying so you would think that if one had the chance to make him happy they would, but they didn’t. Nobody put forth effort including Professor Way. Sure Frank could’ve written him a letter, but what’s the point when it’s clear Professor Way wanted no contact with him? Maybe Frank should’ve put in some effort, but in the end all he keeps thinking is what would’ve been the point?

Adam bursts through the door, interrupting Frank’s thoughts. Frank goes to say something about the door being left open when Sean comes trotting in their dorm. Frank jumps up like someone lit a fire under his ass and runs over to Sean. Sean laughs and returns Frank’s hug and picks him up on his shoulder. Sean carries Frank over to his bed and throws him down on it.

“What are you doing here?”

“Adam told me you’ve been moping. I came to give you a boy’s night.”

Frank scowls over at Adam and he’s smiling innocently.

“Come on man. You were so miserable. I couldn’t take seeing that look on your face for a moment longer. Nothing I did or said made you feel better.”

“So he called the master at making you feel better… me.”

Sean points to himself and smiles brightly.

“How did you even get in here, you’re not a student here?”

Frank tilts his head, more than a little confused.

“Well the dorm isn’t attached to the college and if anyone asks I have someone to cover for me.”

“Who’s that?”

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s get this party going.”

Sean sits his bag on Frank’s bed and starts rummaging through it.

“Sean…”

Frank gives Sean a warning look and Sean sighs.

“Oh God, Gerard okay?”

“What? No! Not okay!”

“Why not!? You have never had any problems with me communicating with him before. What’s the problem now?”

“The problem isn’t you communicating with him. I don’t want him doing any favors for me.”

“He’s not doing you any favors. He’s doing me a favor. Besides, there’s no telling if I’ll even need that favor.”

Sean pulls out a bottle of Vodka and a quarter bag of weed and closes his bag back. Frank snatches it from Sean and puts it on his desk before he goes to his closet to get his jacket.

“The reason you need the favor is because of me, so whatever.”

“Look, just forget about all that. You’re going to have to learn to tolerate Gerard again anyway for a few hours. I hope you didn’t forget about Mikey’s party for tomorrow.”

“I did forget about it, because I don’t even get what it’s for.”

It’s not Mikey’s birthday for another three weeks, and he didn’t tell Frank what it was for when he invited him. Frank didn’t question him either; he just said ‘I’ll be there’ and went on about his business so Professor Way could stop staring at him from the short distance away.

“He’s celebrating finishing college apparently.”

Adam intervenes and shrugs.

“This late?”

Sean and Frank both ask confusedly. Adam shrugs again and slips his jacket back on.

“Look, that’s what he said. I’m just as confused as you guys. I asked Gerard, and he gave me the same answer.”

Frank made a face at the mention of Gerard’s name again and rolled his eyes.

“Let’s just go get some wraps. There’s a store down the road.”

“Your car or mine?”

Sean asked and Frank shrugged.

“Mine. Save your gas for the drive back.”

Sean had given Frank his car for his graduation since Sean’s parents had gotten him a new one. That basically solidified their friendship after that. No one just gives someone a car unless they mean a hell of a lot. They headed for the door before Frank stopped and went back over to his desk. He picked up the liquor and weed and put it back in Sean’s bag. Sean quirked a brow at him and Frank shrugged.

“We can get started in the car. There’s this park we could go to too. It overlooks the water. It’s pretty cool.”

“It’s a boy’s night, not a date night.”

Sean chuckles and Frank shoots Adam another scowl.

“You can stay here Adam.”

“Someone’s on their period.”

“What?”

Sean starts laughing and Frank huffs.

“I’m just dicking around. Let’s go.”

Adam smiles and pats Frank on the back. Frank shrugs Adam’s hand off of him and Adam laughs.

“Let’s hurry up and get those panties out of your butt huh?”

“I am going to murder you.”

(Time Passes)

“It just says ‘dress nicely’.”

Frank says with air quotes after reading a text Mikey sent him. He took a puff off his joint and held the smoke in. Moments later Sean and Adam’s phones went off. They both looked down at their phones and looked at each other and then Frank.

“Yours says it to?”

Sean gestures to Adam’s phone and Adam nods his head.

“Yeah.”

“Says what?”

Frank asks and they nod to his phone.

“The same thing yours says.”

“Why do we have to dress nicely?”

Frank has a baffled look on his face and Adam is the first to burst into laughter. High and confused is a very funny look on Frank’s face. Sean starts laughing and then shakes his head. Sean takes the joint from Frank and puffs it.

“Should you be smoking yet Frankie? I thought you had to take a drug test for your job.”

Adam asks with a concerned look on his face.

“My paper work came through quicker than they’d expected. I took it already. I forgot to tell you guys. I start this upcoming Tuesday.”

“Alright man!”

Sean says through the smoke in his mouth and pats Frank on his back. Adam hands Frank the vodka and takes the joint from Sean.

“Drink up Frankie. We’re celebrating tonight and tomorrow at Mikey’s little shindig.”

Adam puffs on the joint once he’s finish talking.

“You got that right.”

Sean adds after Adam. Frank takes a pull of the liquor and passes it to Sean. He takes his swig and then continues with the rotation, handing it to Adam. Adam passes the joint to Frank and drinks off the vodka.

“It’s something really suspicious about tomorrow.”

Sean laughs and Adam sputters the vodka onto the hood of the car, spraying Frank and Sean. They jerk back and Adam waves his hands in the air, spilling some of the liquor onto the roof of the car where he’s sitting.

“Shit, sorry guys. He just won’t let it go.”

Adam keeps laughing and Sean nods and starts laughing again.

“Yeah, what are you expecting to happen Frankie?”

“I don’t know Sean, but it damn sure isn’t a graduation celebration.”

Adam is now so hysterical; he’s rolling on the roof of the car. Moments later he rolls off the roof and onto the ground.

“Ow!”

“Adaaaaaam!”

Frank crawls off the hood of the car and reaches for the liquor.

“You’re spilling all the goods!”

“Oh! I’m fine, thanks for asking!”

Adam says sarcastically, standing up, and brushing off his body.

“I’m sorry, but it kind of defeats the purpose of a boy’s night with liquor if there is none.”

“Well Sean’s smoking all of the weed!”

Adam points at Sean accusingly and Sean chokes on the smoke he inhaled.

“Hey, there’s tons more of this. There’s only one bottle of that.”

“We can always get Mikey to get us some more.”

“That’s a plan, since you’re the one who spilled it all.”

“Why buy some when he should have some at his party?”

“Sean’s right.”

Frank scoffs and bends down to pick up a rock.

“Doesn’t seem like a party anymore. Sounds like a damn adult convention or something. Dress nicely?”

Frank throws the rock out into the water and smiles to himself when it lands.

“Adults drink too.”

Adam pointed out and Sean nodded in agreement. Frank looked at them and shrugged. Frank gave Sean the bottle of liquor and opened the car door.

“Maybe we should get back to the dorm before we’re way too fucked up to make it back.”

Frank gets into the car and starts it up.

“Yeah, but let’s make a store run. I need some damn snacks.”

Sean says still seated on the hood of the car.

“You and I both.”

“All of us.”

Adam says and climbs into the back of the car.

“Sean, come on! What are you doing?”

“The vibration of the engine feels funny, and kind of good, being a little high.”

“You have to be a lot high to be saying that.”

“So do you to think that was a proper sentence Frank.”

“Shut it Adam.”

“Just get in the damn car before I drive with you on the hood.”

“That would be a hoot.”

“Until I hit the brakes. Get in the damn car!”

“Okay you fucking party pooper.”

Frank rolls his eyes and laughs as Sean slides off the car and onto the ground very dramatically. Sean crawls to the passenger side and gets into the car.

“I should’ve gotten in the back with Adam.”

“Nope. All mine.”

Adam spreads himself over the back seat.

“Shut up.”

Sean and Adam both stick out their tongues at Frank and he rolls his eyes again and sighs as he backs out of their spot and heads to the closest store.

********************

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

Gerard’s sitting on his couch with Mikey’s head in his lap. He’s carding his fingers through Mikey’s hair and nursing a drink in the other hand.

“More ready than ever. I never thought I would be after what happened when I was younger, but here I am. The real question, though, is are you ready?”

Gerard looked down at Mikey with a confused expression.

“What do you mean?”

Mikey rolled his eyes and looked up at his brother.

“I invited Frankie and you invited Louis to come. What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to be there to support my brother. That’s what I’m going to do.”

Gerard states in a matter of fact tone. Gerard’s not worried about anything at this moment. Yes, he’s a bit nervous to see how Frank will react, but he’s actually anxious to see him. He knows he’s wrong for wanting to see Frank while Louis is there, but Frank’s the one person Gerard truly loved in his whole life. There’s not a chance that will arise that Gerard won’t take to be in the same room as Frank. It’d be better if they were going to be in the same bedroom together.

“Are you going to introduce them?”

“If the occasion shall arise.”

“Whatever you do, make sure Frank knows I wasn’t the one who invited that guy. As a matter of fact, I will.”

Gerard hadn’t wanted to invite Louis, but when Mikey spoke of the occasion in front of Louis, Louis basically invited himself.

“You can at least call him by his name Mikes.”

“For what? We’ve talked about this. I don’t owe him anything.”

“It’s not about owing him anything, it’s about being polite.”

“I’m not insulting him if he’s not here. It’s not like you’re going to marry the guy so whatever. I’m going to get a beer. Do you want one?”

“Nope. I’ll finish this right here.”

Gerard holds up his glass and Mikey nods.

“Okay.”

Mikey stands up and goes into his kitchen to get his beer. When he returns Gerard looks deep in thought until he notices Mikey’s presence.

“It sort of is your fault that he’s coming.”

Gerard says bringing the subject back up. Mikey makes a face and shakes his head.

“There’s no way this is my fault.”

“You’re the one who brought it up in front of him. After that he sort of invited himself. There’s no way I could turn him down without a good enough reason.”

“There is a good enough reason.”

“What is that?”

“I don’t want him there and I didn’t invite him.”

Gerard sighs and stands up walking over to sit down at the table with Mikey.

“You don’t have to be so rude Mikey. What’s your problem with him? I like the guy. Why can’t you just accept that?”

“I have accepted it, I just don’t get why you do. Besides disliking him for Frank’s sake, I dislike him for yours too.”

Gerard twists his lips and tilts his head at Mikey.

“How is that?”

Mikey makes a face at Gerard as if to say shut the fuck up.

“If you’d shut up I was just getting to that.”

Gerard zips his lips and Mikey continues, moving his hands as he talks.

“You two have absolutely nothing in common besides the fact that you both do art. You don’t like the same music, movies, and not even food. He doesn’t eat if you ask me. Frank’s a vegetarian and he ate more than that guy. I swear he runs on sunlight.”

“Stop being ridiculous.”

Mikey snaps his fingers and points at Gerard.

“I got it! You like him, because you don’t have to pay for his dinner when you go out, because he doesn’t order any.”

“Oh fuck off Mikes.”

Mikey shrugs and drinks from his beer. Gerard follows suit and drinks from his glass.

“You know Frank’s probably going to think you did this purposely right?”

Mikey swirls the bottom of his beer bottle on the table while looking up at Gerard through his lashes.

“He probably is. God, I wish you hadn’t opened your big mouth.”

“In my house. I’m sorry. I wish you hadn’t brought him over here.”

“I told him I’d spend a little time with him. I couldn’t stand him up again. All I’ve been doing is avoiding him since Frank’s been here, and he was getting upset, and suspicious.”

“Suspicious?”

“He thought there was someone else I was seeing.”

“Well, shit. Technically there is. You see Frank every day at the University.”

“Don’t be a smart ass.”

“I have a knack for that.”

Gerard smirks and shakes his head.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Deal with me like you have for all these years.”

Mikey smiles innocently and then fixes his face.

“Are you even going to tell the guy who Frank is?”

“He’s a very jealous person. Like more jealous than Frank. I don’t know yet.”

Mikey scratches his head and finishes off his drink.

“He called me while I was with Frank the other day, and Frank felt some kind of way that I told Louis he was an ‘old friend’.”

“You said that?”

Gerard nods.

“In front of his face?”

Gerard sighs and nods again.

“You chose this guy’s jealousy over Frank’s feelings?”

Gerard stands up and pushes his hands through his hair.

“I didn’t want to go through the whole ordeal of explaining to Louis why I stood him up for Frank. Shouldn’t it have been enough that I did stand him up for Frank?”

Mikey looks at Gerard like he lost his everlasting mind.

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

“What?”

“You’re the big brother here man. I’m going to go take a shower. You sit there and try to figure it out.”

Mikey finishes the last of his beer and goes to take his shower, leaving Gerard there to ponder what he said.

******************

Frank’s standing in front of the long mirror in their dorm fixing his tie. Sean stands behind him, flipping down his collar, and giving Frank and himself a once over.

“We look pretty good.”

“I’ll say.”

Adam says as he dips in front of both of the boys to fix his jacket.

“This should be what he meant by dressy.”

Frank and Sean chuckled.

“You think so genius?”

“Shut up. Let’s get out of here.”

Frank is the first to leave the mirror and grabs his jacket. He slips it on and grabs his car keys off his desk and turns off his lamp. The guys are already waiting in the hallway for Frank. Frank closes the door and locks it.

(Time Passes)

Gerard is standing in the corner sipping on a drink when he sees Frank entering the door. He’s dressed very impressive. Frank’s wearing a pair of red chucks with his suit and Gerard has to smile. Gerard watches as Mikey rushes over to them and as if like a moth to a flame Frank’s eyes zero in on Gerard’s. Gerard holds his gaze and lifts his hand to wave to him. Frank gives a small smile and waves back.

Mikey looks over at Gerard and smiles while rolling his eyes. Mikey takes Adam’s arm in his and leads him into another part of the house. Sean soon walks off after them and Frank’s left standing there staring at Gerard. Frank looks anywhere but in Gerard’s eyes again once he starts walking over to him. Gerard smiles at him and touches his shoulder as soon as he’s within his reach.

“Hey Frankie.”

“Hi Gee.”

Frank chuckles nervously and keeps his eyes wandering. He’s trying not to focus on how good Gerard looks. Frank’s not supposed to be thinking things like that. This is supposed to be an innocent thing between them, but with how amazingly beautiful Gerard looks, Frank can’t help but want to give himself to Gerard in more ways than one. It’s like back in high school for a brief moment in Frank’s head.

“I’m glad you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.”

Frank shrugged and looked off in the distance, pulling on his lip ring with his teeth. Gerard’s eyes were stuck on the motion. Frank looked at Gerard through his lashes. He released his ring slowly and then cleared his throat.

“Um, I should go with the guys.”

“You just got here with me. Stay with me for a little while? Please?”

Gerard pleaded with his eyes and Frank sighed and nodded.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You look very nice tonight Frankie.”

Frank’s spine shivered whenever Gerard said his name and the way he was saying it was almost like a hidden prayer behind it. Frank’s eyes roamed over Gerard’s body and he bit the inside of his lip to keep from doing anything stupid like reaching out and pulling Gerard into him.

“As do you.”

“Well. I knew I’d see someone special here tonight. I decided to put in effort.”

“You didn’t have to put in much.”

Frank realized he was flirting with a man who was involved with someone else. He looked around and then heard the door being closed. Gerard’s eyes shot in the same direction as Frank’s. It was Louis entering the door. His eyes went straight to Gerard and he smiled. Gerard returned the smile and Frank looked at him and then dropped his head.

“Maybe I should go.”

“Hey!”

Louis is next to Frank and Gerard within seconds, preventing Frank from making the great escape.

“Hey Louis.”

Louis walked over to Gerard and put his arm around Gerard’s waist. Louis sized Frank up and Frank had to bite his tongue to stop from saying something about it.

“I know who you are. You’re Frank right? That ‘old friend’?”

Frank cocked his head to the side.

“How do you know who he is Louis?”

Gerard looked at Louis, waiting for his answer.

“I saw the pictures of you and him in your underwear drawer. That’s a weird place to put them.”

Frank couldn’t believe Gerard kept those photos. Mikey, Adam, Gerard, and Frank had all gone out to the movies at a mall in Gerard’s town over the summer. There was a photo booth and the couples had taken photos in them. They had all gotten copies for themselves and obviously Gerard chose to keep them. That made Frank smile inside.

“Of course now you look a bit older. Say, how old were you then?”

“I think I should go with the guys now. I’ll see you in school Gee.”

Frank chuckles softly and smirks.

“I meant Professor Way.”

Louis raises his brows at Frank and then nods his head at Frank as if dismissing him. Frank touches Gerard’s arm lightly and smiles as he walks away. Gerard’s whole body heats up from just the simple little movement. Gerard watches as Frank walks away with one last look over his shoulder, deliberately giving Gerard the eyes.

At that moment Gerard knew this would be an interesting night. Gerard would bet money on that if anyone was willing to. Gerard looked at Louis and he had the deepest scowl embedded on his face. After a moment Louis sighs and rolls his eyes.

“We need to talk about this tonight when we go back to your place.”

“Okay Louis, but as of now I’m done with it. This is my brother’s night and I’m not going to let anyone ruin it.”

Louis shrugged and nodded.

(Time Passes)

Mikey stood next to Adam in the center of the room. Everyone was surrounded around them and smiling at Mikey. There is people that Mikey went to college with and high school in attendance; all friends, but none of them family, besides Gerard, Frank, and Sean.

“This year I got to graduate, and it was really something I didn’t think I would do when I was younger. With the help of my brother and some great friends I met over the past two years I accomplished that.”

Mikey reached for Adam and wrapped his arm around his waist. Adam smiled and his whole face blushed.

“Adam was always by my side, even when I messed up. I decided long ago I would want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

Mikey removed his arm from Adam’s waist and got down on one knee. Adam placed his hand over his open mouth. His eyes were wide and his legs were going weak.

“Mikey… what are you…”

Mikey takes out jewelry box and open it. Everyone starts clapping as Adam starts laughing and crying.

“I told you it was something suspicious about all of this.”

Frank shouted out and everybody in the room started laughing, including Gerard. Frank glanced in Gerard’s direction and bowed his head in shyness. There was something about the way Gerard was looking at him while being with someone. It made Frank feel a little bit dirty if he was being honest and it turned him on immensely. Frank supposes it’s because he hasn’t been sleeping with anybody. He got one blow job from somebody and that was it. Frank needed to be touched, but he knew that would be wrong. Fantasizing is fine for Frank though.

“Will you marry me Adam?”

Frank wolf whistles when he looks at the ring.

“If he won’t then I surely will.”

Everybody laughs again and looks at Adam for his answer.

“Yes. My God yes.”

Mikey takes the ring out the box and slides it on Adam’s finger. Adam clutches his hand to his chest and smiles down at Mikey. Mikey stands up and hugs Adam tightly while everyone else smiles and claps. The music starts back up and everybody stands around waiting to congratulate the guys.

“Congratulations little brother. I’m sorry mom and dad couldn’t make it tonight.”

“It’s okay Gee. You are here and so are many of my important friends. It doesn’t make a difference. Sure, a small part of me wants them to be there, but another part of me isn’t stressing it. It is what it is.”

Mikey and Gerard had had a falling out with their parents when Mikey was caught sleeping around with someone twice his age. Ever since then, they had distanced themselves from their own children. They still helped them out financially, because they were very well off, but they wanted nothing to do with them. They blamed Gerard for knowing about it and not telling them. After that Mikey had begun his journey of sleeping around with anybody he could get. It made him reckless, but only one thing got in front of him like a stop sign; Adam.

Adam changed everything for Mikey like Frank had for Gerard. That’s why Mikey wished his brother would just stop fooling around with that guy and start winning Frank back. Mikey isn’t going to say anything to him about it though, because he’s only going to try to argue his way out of it. Gerard is just too much of a coward these days, and if Mikey was being completely honest, Frank deserved better. So if he didn’t take Gerard back, Mikey wouldn’t be surprised.



“I’m proud of you Mikes.”

“Thanks Gee. Now all you have to do is make me proud.”

Mikey nods over at Frank and Gerard sighs. Frank’s smiling and congratulating Adam. The look in his eyes is one of pure happiness for his friend and Gerard could see it plain as day. Frank is holding Adam’s hand in his, admiring his ring. Gerard smiles at how childishly cute Frank looks, and at this moment it doesn’t feel wrong.

Frank doesn’t look childish, because he is; he looks childish because he’s happy. That’s the difference between then and now. In the past when Gerard would think Frank looked like a child it was because he was and now he’s not anymore. Gerard can have Frank, but instead he’s wasting his time with someone he could never see himself having a future with. If Gerard could see that he would’ve been made Louis his boyfriend, but that’s not the case.

Mikey pats Gerard on the shoulder and walks over to where Adam and Frank are. Sean joins them and they all laugh at something that Gerard has no clue about. Gerard walks over to the group of people he had spent the last few years of his life with. He’s happy that Frank is standing in that circle again.

“No seriously, Frank would not let it go. The more Frank drank and smoke the more paranoid he became.”

“About what?”

Gerard asks because he’s obviously lost, having just joined the conversation.

“Frank kept saying it was weird that I was having a graduation party this late and that we had to dress nicely for it.”

Gerard nodded now understanding fully.

“I was totally right though!”

Everyone laughed and Gerard smiled at Frank. He missed seeing that smile on his face and hearing that sound come from his mouth, or any sound at all. Gerard missed Frank’s laugh, and the way he giggled. He missed how bright his smile is and how wide it can get. Gerard has been obsessed with all of that about Frank since day one.

“You’re smart.”

Gerard says and Frank looks at him with a blush. It was such a simple thing for him to say and yet Frank was heating up.

“Well it’s not rocket science. Anyone could’ve figured that out.”

Everyone stops laughing, just now realizing that Louis was standing there, and they all looked at him as if he was from another dimension; including Gerard.

“Are you implying that they’re stupid?”

“Of course not Mikey. I was just… never mind.”

Louis waves his hand dismissively.

“Congratulations.”

Louis stuck his hand out for Mikey to take and he did, but only to be polite for his brother.

“Thank you.”

Louis nodded and reached for Adam’s hand next. Adam took his hand and gave a small smile as he repeated the congratulations.

“I’m going to go get a drink. Anybody want anything?”

“We’re covered.”

Mikey and Adam both raised their glasses in the air. Sean held up his beer and shook his head no.

“Gerard?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a beer. Thank you.”

“Sure.”

Frank purposely let’s his gaze linger on Gerard longer than needed. Yeah, Frank had grown up, but it didn’t seem like Louis was being a full grown adult himself. So, yes, Frank is going to play a little game tonight. There’s nothing wrong with a little harmless competition right? Besides, the guy called him dumb in so many words.

Gerard returns the gaze until Frank turns away and heads for the kitchen. When Gerard turns back Adam, Sean, Mikey, and Louis’ eyes are all on Gerard. Sean drinks some of his beer with a smirk on his face. Mikey’s smirking with his glass held to his lips and Adam just starts chugging his drink.

“Do you mind if I speak with you for a moment?”

Gerard stumbles to find an answer until he just ends up nodding. Louis grabs Gerard by the arm and pulls him up the stairs. Gerard can hear the guys laughing like fucking children and he’d be sure to ruin them when he’s through with Louis. They enter the first door at the top of the landing which happens to be Mikey’s bedroom. Louis closes the door and turns to look at Gerard with his hands on his hips.

“What the hell is going on Gerard?”

Louis stands there waiting for an answer that Gerard can’t give him. Gerard doesn’t know what’s going on. One moment Frank wants nothing to do with him and the next he’s blushing and batting his eyelids. It’s truly confusing Gerard, but he’s only taking it as nothing, but a joke. If Frank wanted Gerard they’d be together already. Gerard was almost certain of that.

“I don’t know what you’re-“

Louis throws his hands in the air and scowls at Gerard.

“Don’t play stupid with me. I’m not deaf, dumb, or blind.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Gerard looks at him genuinely confused.

“Because I’d have to be those things not to notice the fucking sparks between you and that, that, boy! Is he even legal Gerard!?”

Louis looks up at the ceiling and shakes his head. Gerard would tease the guy on how dramatic he’s being if he wasn’t the reason why he was being dramatic in the first place.

“Is he more than just an ‘old friend’?”

“There’s nothing between Frank and I.”

“Yeah, but was there?”

Gerard sighs and turns away from Louis. He doesn’t want to be doing this right now. He just wants to be back at the party enjoying it and the drink that Frank’s getting for him.

“Frank and I have a past.”

Gerard looks at Louis and Louis looks like he’s about to implode.

“You’ve been spending time with him like it’s nothing.”

Gerard doesn’t consider a few minutes as ‘spending time’.

“It is nothing Louis. We spent a few minutes together for one day. You’re reading too much into things.”

Louis turns and looks at Gerard.

“Am I!?”

“Yes, yes you are!”

“You’ve been standing me up and the first time it was because this old friend came to town. I coincidentally found a picture of you and that old friend.”

“What does that-“

“Shut up! I am talking. Now that old friend is here and you’re giving him the eyes. You’re both giving each other the eyes.”

“Okay, now you have lost your mind.”

Louis whips around and looks at Gerard incredulously.

“Whenever he looks at you your chest stops fucking moving Gerard. I pay attention okay. I’m not fucking dense.”

Louis moves his hands around trying to find the words he wants to speak.

“You, you, you look at him like…”

“I don’t look at him like anything.”

“You do! You look at him like, like…”

“Like what!?”



“Like you fucking worship him or something!”

“No I don’t.”

Even as Gerard says that he knows he’s lying. Gerard does worship Frank; he always has. That’s something that’s possibly never going to change. There’s just something about Frank that Gerard can’t quite put his finger on after all this time. If Gerard took things further with Louis then he’d still be stuck longing and wishing for Frank.

“You do Gerard. So my question to you is this… are you going to finally make me your boyfriend or are you going to chase some old fling that’s probably not even legal? I bet he’s a damn student at your college.”

Gerard doesn’t say anything, he just looks at Louis. Louis rolls his eyes and sighs.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Have you been telling me the truth about anything?”

“I never once lied to you Louis.”

“So don’t lie to me now. Why haven’t you made me your boyfriend?”

Gerard bites his lip and turns away from Louis. He pushes his hands through his hair and sits on the bed. He sighs loudly and looks over at Louis. The man is a great guy, besides his jealous streak, and he doesn’t deserve this right now. Honestly, before Frank even came back in the picture, Gerard was perfectly fine with Louis; he still is.

His mind is just so clouded and he’s confused like hell. Even if he chose Frank there’s no telling if Frank wants him back so honestly Gerard doesn’t know what to do or say to Louis. Gerard figures now would be a good time to just throw in the towel with Louis. It’s not like they’re a couple anyway, but Gerard just can’t find the courage to do it. Gerard has been stringing him along for two months and now he’s finally choosing now to ask Gerard why.

“I don’t really know why I haven’t.”

Louis walks over to Gerard and reaches out to lift his head.

“So why don’t you do it right now?”

Gerard looks at Louis sadly.

“Now isn’t the time Louis. I’m sorry.”

Louis let’s his hand drop from Gerard’s face and creates a distance between he and Gerard.

“Just how long do you expect me to wait for you?”

Gerard stands up and crosses his arms in front of himself.

“I just need to figure out a few things. Now isn’t the time to be in a relationship.”

Louis invades Gerard’s personal space.

“And you’ve just now figured that out? You’ve had two months. Are you telling me I wasted two months of my life on something that isn’t going to happen?”

“No!”

Gerard sighs and takes Louis’ hands in his.

“I’m just saying that I don’t know what I want now.”

“And what am I supposed to do if you figure it out and what you want isn’t me?”

“Let it go I guess. Look, I can’t guarantee that I’ll make you my boyfriend when I settle things, but you knew from the beginning that I didn’t want to rush into things.”

Louis takes his hands from Gerard and wraps them around himself.

“You said you didn’t want to rush into things, not that you have to figure out what you want. The first thing basically states that we would be together, just not yet. Two months later you’re telling me there’s a possibility that we might not ever fully be together?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Why are you doing this? Is it because of him?”

Louis points to the door and Gerard knows he’s referring to Frank.

“I don’t know.”

Gerard knows fully well that it’s because of Frank, but he just can’t force himself to hurt Louis any more than he already is. Honesty is the best policy, but Gerard’s not that good with that at this moment.

“It’s him.”

“Maybe it is; maybe it isn’t. I just can’t be your boyfriend right now.”

“Fine. I’ll just go.”

“Don’t be like that. You’re a really nice guy Louis, and I like you a lot-“

“Is always how it starts when someone is trying to turn someone else down.”

Gerard shakes his head, because Louis has this all wrong.

“I’m not turning you down. I just need more time.”

“Right. I’ll just continue to sit around and wait for you to want to hang out with me again. I’ll sit around waiting for you to want to be my boyfriend. I’ll sit around waiting for you to tell me that it’s not going to happen at all.”

Louis heads for the door and Gerard follows after him.

“Louis…”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Come on, don’t go.”

Louis turns to look at Gerard with his hand on the knob of the door.

“I was never invited in the first place.”

The music leaks through the room as Louis opens the door and storms out. Gerard stuck his head out the door and shouted for Louis to come back in the room. Louis kept storming down the stairs so Gerard went back into the room and slammed the door shut.

Frank walked back into the living room just as Louis came running down the steps with a look of anger on his face. For a brief moment Frank wondered what was going on with him. Louis grabbed his coat and was out the door within seconds.

“Hey, where did Gerard go guys?”

“He’s upstairs.”

Mikey smiles and goes back to talking with Adam.

“Well should I wait for him to come get his drink or take it to him?”

All the guys turned to Frank and spoke in unison.

“Take it to him.”

“Goodness, okay. No need to get pushy.”

Frank starts walking towards the steps when Sean stops him.

“Don’t do anything you’ll regret Frankie.”

“I’m not drunk Sean.”

“You are… you’re drunk on Gerard, and you always have been. Don’t make any decisions based on feelings alone. Use your head.”

Frank quirks an eyebrow at Sean.

“Not that head. God, just go.”

Frank laughs and walks off up the steps with the drinks in his hand. Surely he wouldn’t do anything stupid. He knows that Gerard is dating someone and he’s not going to actually get in between that. Teasing is one thing; pulling two people apart that could be potentially good for each other is another. Frank just isn’t that kind of person.

Gerard hears a small thud on the door and goes to open the door. Once he does he finds himself face to face with a smiling Frank with both their drinks in his hands. Gerard moves to the side to let Frank pass and closes the door. He turns to him and smiles back.

“I believe this is for you.”

Frank holds out the beer for Gerard to take.

“Thank you.”

When Gerard takes the bottle from him his fingers brush against Frank’s. Frank lets out a breathy chuckle and smiles. Frank battles with himself inside of his own head for words to say. It’s really hard for him to find the right words with Gerard’s eyes on him like that. It’s truly making Frank weak in the damn knees and he’s tired of feeling like this.

Gerard’s eyes roam Frank’s body and he feels like the biggest asshole in the world. He was just fighting with Louis a few moments ago and now he’s practically forcing himself not to jump on Frank. It’s the first time they’ve been alone in a room together in two years, and his mind is wandering to so many things they could be doing right now, other than staring at each other.

“That’s so great for Mikey and Adam isn’t it?”

Gerard shoves the hand in his pocket that doesn’t contain the beer.

“Yeah, it’s amazing. I never thought my little brother would be settling down before me.”

“I bet you didn’t.”

The air falls silent and Frank swirls his drink trying to avoid eye contact with Gerard. He takes a sip of his drink and walks around the room slowly.

“Mikes has a nice room here.”

“He does.”

For a moment Frank wants to ask Gerard what happened with Louis but he knew that wasn’t his place. A part of him was hoping they’d had a huge fight and Gerard had told Louis he never wanted to see him again. That part was the evil and mean part of Frank. Is it so wrong to want back everything he had in the past? Frank knows it’s very wrong of him to want them to be over out of selfishness.

Frank takes a seat on Mikey’s bed and takes another swig of his drink. Gerard stands by the door watching him closely. Gerard knows Frank’s deep in thought because he’s studied his faces long enough to know what each one meant. Gerard watches as Frank keeps taking small sips of his drink with his perfect lips. Gerard shakes his head trying to clear it of all bad thoughts.

This isn’t the kind of guy Gerard wants to be. He doesn’t want to be with someone else while lusting over another. Furthermore, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with someone when he knows he's still in love with another. Every sign points to Gerard letting Louis go either way. Gerard should’ve never started dating the guy knowing he wasn’t over Frank.

Gerard never expected Frank to show back up though. He never expected to be seeing him every day walking down the hallways in school again. Gerard never expected to be standing here longing to touch Frank. None of this was in Gerard’s plans when this semester started. Gerard thought he was finally going to get his life together.

Maybe Frank coming there is part of Gerard getting his life back together. Maybe Louis and Mikey is right; Gerard wants Frank. Honestly, no one has to tell Gerard that, though. It’s common fucking sense. Anybody could see that and still Gerard wasn’t going to take the steps to get Frank back.

Frank finishes his drink and looks over at Gerard. Gerard’s eyes are already on him and he suddenly feels exposed. Gerard always had a way with making Frank feel naked in front of him with layers of clothing on. It’s just the piercing way Gerard’s eyes stare as if looking through him. Frank sits his glass on the desk and stands up to go back downstairs with the rest of the party.

“We should get back.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Frank's pretty certain Gerard is going to move out of his way until he doesn’t. Frank’s standing face to face with Gerard and he doesn’t know what to do. Gerard reaches over and puts his beer on the dresser. What Gerard does next surprises the hell out of them both. Gerard pulls Frank in and kisses him.

Frank instantly melts into him like he never melted before. He melts like fucking butter on corn on the cob. Gerard pushes his fingers through Frank’s hair and he tugs it a little bit. The kiss is totally innocent, it’s just a bunch of Gerard tasting Frank, and not wanting to let go.

Everything feels so familiar. Frank’s lip ring pressing into his own lip. Frank’s nose ring brushing against his own nose whenever they turn their heads. Frank’s hair is still soft under his fingertips, and Frank still holds Gerard as tight as he ever did whenever they kissed before.

Frank’s head was spinning from the feel of Gerard pressed against him again. The heat radiating between them is starting to become too much for Frank, but he doesn’t pull away. Something about how Gerard’s lips feel like the inside of a rose keeps him there. Frank feels Gerard move his leg between his thighs and he damn near collapses from the touch. Gerard has to move his hands from Frank’s hair to his hips to keep him upright.

Gerard starts moving them towards the bed, and when they get there they go tumbling onto it. Gerard’s on top of Frank and pulling his suit jacket open. He gets it off seconds later and then starts with Frank’s tie. Frank’s moving his hips into Gerard and he’s holding his arms so tightly he’s sure he’s going to bruise him. Once the tie is off their eyes connect and Frank pulls Gerard back down for another kiss.

This one is heated and he’s clawing at Gerard’s shirt to get him naked so he can roam his fingers all over his body. All Frank’s wanted is to be able to touch Gerard again and now that he has the chance he’s not going to let that pass him by. Frank gets Gerard’s shirt open and he’s pushing it off of him in no time. Gerard pulls back and looks down at Frank as he undoes the last button on Frank’s shirt. Frank sits up and takes the shirt off.

Gerard’s shocked to see a few tattoos on Frank’s body. It seriously heats Gerard up even more. Frank watches as Gerard’s breathing gets shallow while staring at the swallows on his hips. Gerard’s eyes shift back up to the little flame on Frank’s chest and the little word ‘hope’. Gerard’s cock jumped at the sight of Frank with ink on his body.

Gerard lays Frank back down onto the bed. He leans forward and starts sucking on Frank’s clavicle. It’s been so long since he’s been able to do that and he just knows he’s going to faint being able to touch Frank like this again. He sits back and looks down at Frank. Gerard intertwines their fingers and pin them onto the bed.

Frank’s looking back up at Gerard with wide eyes and Gerard’s lost in them. Everything they’ve ever been through can be seen within Frank’s eyes and Gerard has to turn away for a moment to stop himself from getting emotional. Frank’s still moving under him, but only slightly. Gerard looks back down at Frank and starts moving his hips down into him again.

“I missed you so much.”

Frank just nods and whimpers as he keeps moving into Gerard. Frank wants to tell Gerard the same thing, but he can’t, not with the way he’s not able to breathe. Gerard takes one of his hands from Frank’s and places it on Frank’s cheek. Gerard starts caressing it lightly and bites his lip. He takes in all of Frank’s features, trying to embed them in his brain in case he never gets this chance again. He wants to remember how Frank looked tonight.

Frank’s eyebrows are knitted together and his mouth is slightly ajar. His eyes are sparkling, and so is his piercings in the light. There’s a tiny mark above Frank’s nose that wasn’t there before and Gerard smiles a little because of it. Frank smiles back, knowing exactly what he’s looking at, and loving the fact that he noticed it. Gerard would always notice every detail on Frank though.

Frank can see the tears in Gerard’s eyes and it starts to hit Frank; Gerard isn’t his. What they are doing right now is wrong. Gerard is involved with someone else and Frank knows it. However, he can’t stop moving his hips up into Gerard, and he certainly can’t stop the moan that escapes his lips when Gerard moves down on him at a certain angle.

Frank sits up and rolls them over so that he’s on top. Gerard looks up at him and places his hands on Frank’s hips. Frank moves his hips back and forth in slow motion and Gerard almost dies. Frank’s got his hands in his hair and he’s looking down at Gerard with the filthiest look in his eyes it could be considered a crime. He looks so beautiful like this and he knows he wants this forever.

“I want you so bad.”

Frank moans out his words and tugs on his hair a little for emphasis on just how bad he wants Gerard. Gerard groans and moves his hands up the small of Frank’s back.

“Oh Frankie… I want you… more than you’ll ever know. I just want to take you right now.”

Frank’s breathing gets heavier, if that’s even possible. He moves his hands down his own body and Gerard’s eyes trail Frank’s movements.

“What’s stopping you?”

As soon as the words leave Frank’s mouth he regrets it. Frank knows what’s stopping Gerard and he knows what’s stopping himself; Louis. Gerard isn’t Frank’s and that not going to be the case until Louis is out of the picture. Frank can’t sleep with Gerard knowing Louis is expecting Gerard not to. Frank can’t take Gerard no matter how bad he wants to.

Gerard notices the look on Frank’s face and stops all movements. Frank slides out of Gerard’s lap and they both sigh. Frank looks over at Gerard sadly and sighs again. Frank can’t believe they’re back at a point in their lives where they can’t have each other. Seriously, all Gerard has to do is man up, but Frank isn’t going to force him into anything.

“We can’t do this.”

“Frank.”

“You have Louis to think about Gerard.”

Frank shakes his head and stands up.

“We can’t do this.”

Frank leans over the bed for his shirt and Gerard sits up. He catches a glimpse of something on Frank’s back.

“Hey, what’s that?”

Gerard stands up and is shocked at what he sees.

“You really got it?”

Frank straightens up and shrugs shyly. He keeps his eyes on the floor.

“I said I would.”

“I know, but after everything… I didn’t think you would still get it.”

“Why not? It was still designed by someone very important.”

Gerard just stares at Frank not believing anything at the moment because he’s so stunned.

“Can I see it?”

Frank turns around and Gerard gets closer to Frank’s back. He’s staring at the pumpkin he’d drawn for Frank while in bed watching movies with him over night. Frank said he was going to get it as soon as he turned eighteen; it was meant to be his first tattoo. Frank stayed true to his word. On the morning of his eighteenth birthday Sean drove him to the tattoo parlor and helped Frank pay for the tattoo.



“Was it your first?”

“Yes.”

Gerard reaches out and touches the tattoo. Frank visibly shivers when Gerard runs his hand across the design; his design. Gerard bends forward and kisses the tattoo softly. Frank’s eyes slip close and his head falls back a little. Gerard stands back up and wraps his arms around Frank’s waist.

Tears start falling down Gerard’s cheeks, but he remains quiet as he holds Frank. Despite Gerard’s efforts to be quiet, Frank feels Gerard’s body shaking, and knows he's crying. Frank turned in Gerard’s arms and wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck. He stood on his toes and kissed Gerard’s lips.

“I’m sorry Frankie.”

“I know you are.”

Frank presses his forehead to Gerard’s and looks into his tear filled eyes. Frank wipes at the tears on Gerard’s face and fights back his own.

“I have to go.”

Frank pulls back and Gerard lets go reluctantly. Gerard watches as Frank slips back on his shirt and grabs his tie from the floor. He stuffs it in his pocket and takes his suit jacket off the bed. He puts that on and then starts buttoning his shirt before moving onto the jacket. While Frank’s doing that, Gerard’s buttoning his own shirt that he put back on.

It doesn’t dawn on Gerard that Frank’s really about to leave until he’s watching Frank walk towards the door. In no time Gerard’s rushing to the door and blocking it. Frank sighs and looks at Gerard like he’s crazy. Gerard just holds his hands out in front of himself trying to get Frank not to move.

“Please, just a few more minutes. I know I keep asking that, but, it’s just… I spent so much time away from you that I just want whatever time I can get with you.”

“We can’t do that Gerard. This isn’t right. I’m not your boyfriend. You are dating someone and I know for sure that he wouldn’t want you in my face right now.”

“I don’t care about him right now.”

“Really?”

Gerard shrugs and keeps his eyes on Frank’s. He suppose he does care, because if he didn’t he’d be inside of Frank already, but he can’t do it. The guilt will eat him away. Gerard knows Louis isn’t his boyfriend, but he owes him loyalty.

“He matters, it’s just… you matter more. And it’ll just be us talking a little, that’s all.”

“We don’t need to be in a room together by ourselves.”

“We can.”

“No we can’t Gerard. Look at what just happened. I may not like the guy, but I’m not going to do something like this to him.”

“We’re just talking.”

“For now… what about a few minutes from now? When we get too close and our eyes connect the way they always do? What will you do when… when…”

Frank moves closer to Gerard and places his hands on his chest before continuing.

“What will you do when I touch you like this after losing the fight with myself not to touch you?”

Gerard inhales deeply and Frank moves his hands up to Gerard’s shoulders.

“What will you do when I get on my toes...”

Frank lifts up on his toes as he keeps talking.

“…and press into you…”

Frank molds his body with Gerard’s and moves his hands onto Gerard’s neck. Frank leans into Gerard’s ear and whispers.

“…and kiss you… what will you do then?”

Frank pulls back and looks up at Gerard through his hair and lashes. Gerard’s looking down at him and he looks so far gone from Frank’s words. Gerard moves his hands to Frank’s hips and pulls him closer. Frank arches a brow at Gerard.

“Exactly. You’ll pull me closer and I’ll go willingly. I’ll go because I want you so bad and I know you want me.”

Frank moves his crotch into Gerard’s and marvels at the noise Gerard let’s out into his ear.

“Soon all logic and rationality will be out the window. I’ll be touching you in all the places I know drives you crazy and you’ll love it. You’ll make love to me and make me scream your name so loud everyone downstairs will hear us.”

“Fuck Frank.”

“Yeah, that’s also what you’ll say. We’ll make each other feel so good until we can’t take it anymore. We’ll drive one another insane with just the right look… the right touch… the right sound being emitted.”

Frank brings his lips back up to Gerard’s ears, while intertwining their hands together, and whispering.

“Then you’ll cum inside of me and hold me so tightly like you never want to let go. And I’ll cum with you, because we’re so in sync like that.”

Gerard squeezes Frank’s hands tightly and Frank moans when Gerard moves into him. They’re both so damn hard they’re lucky they’re not wearing jeans or they’d be done bust out of them by now. Gerard groans when Frank presses into him more.

“And you’ll hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. And I’ll eat it all up. But then you’ll regret it. You’ll regret it so much when you see him again.”

Gerard shakes his head no and Frank nods.

“You will, and I don’t want to be a regret.”

Frank pulls back and looks up at Gerard. Gerard’s heart is pounding in his chest and he can’t fully understand what just happened, but he knows that it’s not going any further. He focuses his eyes on Frank and nods in agreement. There’s no way he’d make Frank a regret.

“You won’t be a regret. I’ll end it. Is that what you want?”

“I want you to do what you think is best for you Gerard. We can’t walk around school and campus together. We would still have to hide out in certain places. With Louis you don’t have to do that. You can freely love and be loved with him.”

“That’s not what it’s about Frank. I don’t love him and I don’t want him to love me. I want you. I love you.”

Frank’s eyes grow wide and he’s shocked at the declaration. Surely Gerard is just saying that. There’s no way he could still be in love with Frank. Frank is well aware that he’s still in love with Gerard, but you never forget your first love. It’s expected of Frank to still be clinging to Gerard; it’s not expected of Gerard to still be stuck on Frank.

“What?”

“I love you.”

Gerard says it with such certainty and Frank has to catch his breath.

“Why are you with him?”

“I don’t know. Mikey has been asking me the same thing.”

“This is wrong Gerard. I have to go. You have to figure out what you want. Until then I can’t be around you. It’s not fair to me, it’s not fair to you, and it certainly isn’t fair to Louis.”

Frank pulls back completely and fixes his suit before grasping the knob in his hand.

“I would tell you I love you too, but I don’t want to set myself up for something that may lead in more heartbreak. I’ll see you around Gerard.”

With that Gerard is left alone with his thoughts for the second time that night. He knows he has to go back downstairs and face Frank and the party sometime, but for now he’s just going to lie down and let images of what just happened play through his mind. Gerard already knows what he has to do; it’s just not going to be easy.