Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Not Again!

Chapter 3

by Forty_Two 0 reviews

Sound Financial Advice

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Harry,Hermione - Warnings: [!!!] [V] [?] - Published: 2015-06-22 - Updated: 2015-06-22 - 928 words


Chapter 3

"We need a plan," Harry considered as they waited in Gringotts' lobby for the commotion outside to die down.

"Not my department," Mary Sue shook her head. "Your story, your plan," she reiterated her earlier position.

"We'll need money," Harry considered. "How much do you have left?"

"You'll need money," the black-haired girl corrected him. "I'm all set."

"But that was my uncle's money!" Harry pointed out.

"'Was' being the operative word, here," Mary Sue replied with a shrug.

The black-haired boy glared at his black-haired plot device and turned to walk over to a teller's window - the same teller who'd exchanged Mary Sue's fifty-pound notes for Galleons. Harry didn't have the advantage of a portable step-stool as he addressed the Goblin, "Er, I'd like to withdraw some gold from my trust vault but I don't have the key," he explained timidly.

"No key, no access! Go away!" the Goblin dismissed him with a haughty sneer.

Harry was just about to turn and slink away when Mary Sue walked up behind him. "Down!" she commanded.

Harry crouched obediently and she stepped up onto his back to see eye-to-eye with the Goblin.

"That's Harry Potter down there," she nodded to her feet. "He has enough gold in his vault to cover the ten-Galleon key duplication fee a thousand times over!"

"Oh!" the Goblin's head jerked up. "Well, why didn't you say so?"

"Up!" Mary Sue ordered Harry as she stepped down off his back.

"I'll need a drop of your blood for identification purposes," the teller explained, passing Harry an old rusty knife and a parchment document.

Harry eyed the knife doubtfully and then looked at his finger. The rust might have been old dried blood. He couldn't tell for sure.

"You can use this," Mary Sue offered her mithril sword.

"No thanks," Harry shook his head. "I know where that thing's been." He winced as he put his finger to the cleanest part of the knife blade he could find, then squeezed out several large drops of blood onto the parchment.

The Goblin was leaning out over the edge of the counter to witness the proceedings. "Only one drop is required, Mister Potter!" he frowned at the mess his customer was making. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm flushing the wound," Harry replied, handing the knife and the parchment back up.

"One moment," the teller gave a heavy sigh of exasperation and disappeared with the document. He returned several minutes later with a small gold key. "Will you be requiring access to your vault presently, Mister Potter?" he asked.

"Yes!" Harry nodded, trying to sound firm. That tactic had seemed to work well for Mary Sue.

"Griphook!" the teller called across the lobby and snapped his fingers.

One wild cart-ride later, Harry stood outside his trust vault holding a large bag of gold in his hand. "This is a bit unwieldy," he remarked as he considered the size of the bag and the size of his pocket. His fat cousin's trousers were large, but not that large.

"For a Galleon, I can charm that money bag smaller for you," Griphook offered.

Grudgingly, Harry fished out a Galleon from the sack and handed it over. Griphook cast his spell.

"Wait!" Harry eyed his newly-shrunken bag. "The opening's now too small to get the money out!"

"I can fix that for you," the Goblin grinned. "For another Galleon..."

"Grrr," Harry grrr'ed in frustration at the Goblin's audacity as he tried to retrieve another Galleon. "Um, I can't pull one out," he turned to Griphook helplessly.

"Well," the Goblin considered Harry's dilemma for a moment. "I suppose I could lend you a Galleon - temporarily - until you can pay me properly, but I'll have to charge you interest on the loan..."

"How much interest?" the black-haired wizard glared at the Goblin.

"One Galleon should suffice," Griphook grinned back at him.

"That's one hundred percent interest!" Harry nearly shouted. "For only a few minutes' loan!!"

"Is it?" the Goblin looked surprised. "I was never very good at math. Do you want to borrow a Galleon or don't you?"

"Fine!" Harry growled. "Fix it!" he shoved his bag at the Goblin.

Griphook muttered the spell and held out his hand. "That will be three Galleons, one for the spell, one to return the principal of the loan, and finally, one Galleon for the interest."

"But you already have one Galleon..." Harry protested, pointing to Griphook's other hand.

"That was for the first spell," the Goblin reminded him.

Harry frowned in confusion. He was never very good at math, either. He reached into the magically expanded opening of the magically shrunken bag and produced three gold coins.

It wasn't until they were back in the lobby that Mary Sue trusted herself to speak without laughing. "So how much did that money bag cost you, Harry?" she smirked, laughing only a tiny bit.

"Four Galleons," Harry frowned.

"At least you got a valuable lesson in fractional reserve lending," Mary Sue consoled him.

"I did!? What's that!?" Harry blinked.

"That's where you lend someone money you don't have and they agree to pay it back to you with interest," she smirked. "You use the interest owed you to pretend that you have even more money to lend out and then collect even more interest on that loan. Rinse. Repeat."

"Are you saying I got ripped off?"

"I'm just along for the ride, Harry, but if you're ever in need of sound financial advice, you'd be wise to not trust a Goblin!"

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