FicWad

For the next few months me and the boys grew closer. I spent all my free time hanging out with them. Watching them practice, reading comic books, seeing movies, drinking, which we did quite often, and they even came to the book store to keep me company while I worked. Denise never minded, she actually took to them really well. They came to be my best friends. It got to the point where I would see them every day. Literally every. Fucking. Day. My only concern was that I becoming so close to all of them, except for Gerard. He always seemed to be avoiding me. Every time I was around, he was always quiet and kept to himself. Sometimes he would even leave the group to go to his room and draw. Recently he's been making excuses not to hangout with us. The guys thought what he was doing was bullshit. When I noticed this I reached out and attempted to talk to him more and be a better friend but it never worked so I eventually just gave up. And as hard as I tried not to let it bother me, it did. I was hurt by his rejection.
"He fucking hates me." I took the last swig of the alcohol that was in my cup. we were all at Rays house having drinks. Gerard didn't come. Typical.
"He doesn't hate you, Denille. Would you stop saying that? he's just shy. He's been so fucking shy his whole life. He doesn't even talk to me sometimes." Mikey explained trying to make me feel better. I always told the boys everything that bothered me. Its like they all became my personal little therapists. I pictured them being actual professional therapists in my head and chuckled at the thought. They would be shitty therapists. They shouldn't be getting paid to do that. Wait, they aren't getting paid to do that. At least I hope they weren't. Anyways back to- wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, Gerard and how he hates me. Damn alcohol is making it hard to focus.
"I don't know. Its been months and he still barely even says hi to me. I've gotten so close to you guys, I just don't understand why he doesn't like me." I was starting to sound like a whiny little kid. I frowned into my empty cup. Or was it two cups? I was starting to see double.
"Why do you want him to like you so bad anyways? Do you have a little crushy wushy on Gerardy wardy?" Frank, who was laying on the floor, rolled onto his back and almost rolled over bobs drink.
"No I don't you little shit!" I yelled and threw my empty cup at him. "How could I have a crush on someone who hates me."
"He doesn't fucking hate you!" All four of them cried out in unison.
"Whatever." I threw my hands in the air and stood up but nearly wobbled back down into my seat. "I need another drink." On that note I stumbled my way into the kitchen to make myself another vodka and cranberry juice.

I bolted awake in a panic. I immediately felt dizzy and realized I was still wasted. I must have drank entirely too much and passed out at Rays. But as drunk as I still was the nightmare I had just had was fresh in my mind. I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room. The guys were scattered around and passed out. I sat up and sat there a minute trying to compose myself. When I felt prepared enough I stood up and stumbled my way to the bathroom, leaning on every stable object I could find. When I got to the rest room, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and giggled at it.
"You are so fucking drunk." I slurred to the girl in the mirror. I stared at myself for another minute. I was starting to regret drinking as much as I did and was growing angry with myself. "Your pathetic. You-your always drinking to make yourself feel good, but it aint never stopped those scary dreams." I teetered on my feet a little but I kept my eyes focused on my reflection. "Pathetic..." I repeated with a slur. "You cant even get Gerard to like you." I was now having a full blown drunk conversation with myself . The thought of Gerard's lack of feelings towards me made tears well in my eyes. "Why doesn't he like me?" I pleaded with the girl staring at me. "I just want him to like me. He's just soooo handsome." Oh my fucking god. I can only imagine what I looked like. Picture a sloppy drunk girl talking to herself about cute boys and being a pathetic loser. Embarrassing. "I want to talk to mommy and daddy." I mumbled. That idea came from out of the blue. "I'll call Gerard so he can take me, he hates me but he has a car so he'll take me to see mommy and daddy."
I put the toilet seat down and attempted to sit on it but somehow ended up sitting on the floor instead. I then took my phone out and looked for Gerard's number. I pressed the call button and held the phone to my hear and drunkenly hummed a tune to myself while listening to the rings. After the third ring I realized what the fuck I was actually doing. I was drunk calling Gerard. Fuck fuck fuck! Abort abort! I panicked and pressed every button I could find trying to end the call. Aapparently I forgot how to work a cell phone while drunk. It was too late and I heard a voice on the other end if the line.
"Hello?"
Shit.