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Hermione was getting dressed on the fifteenth day. She was putting on her blouse in front of the mirror. Her clothes seemed much baggier than before and her face had got noticeably thin. Maybe I wasn't getting stronger. Maybe she really was losing weight. Of course, I didn't ask her about it. The relationship had warmed but was still tepid. We weren't ready for conversations yet.

I waited for her to get dressed and then picked her up and carried her to the door. She was as light as a feather.

Ginny was first to the office again, already hard at work sending off emails and working on an advertising campaign for the new Quidditch Season. She said she was going off on a business trip to Hogwarts to scout for new players. She asked me to come along with her. I said I'd think about it. It would be difficult to go as it clashed with my arrangement with Hermione.

Ginny huffed. She was annoyed I was going through with all of this. She couldn't understand it at all.

"Do you still love her?" she asked.

"No, of course not. But I have to do it to get the divorce. It's important to provide a stable home for Charlotte to grow up in."

"If you think it's best, then I guess you have to do it."

Ginny put her hand on my arm and squeezed my muscles.

"You're getting strong these days, Harry." she said.

"Well, it's with all this carrying I'm doing."

Perhaps Ginny secretly wished I would carry her like that. I thought that's what she was thinking. She came over to me and pushed me down on the chair and sat on my lap.

"Ginny, you're so good to me." I said. "I don't know how to thank you."

Ginny ran her long, slender fingers through my hair and whispered: "I know how you can thank me."

She came in closer, pursing her lips and that's when we kissed. Her lips tasted like sweet wine. I found myself pulling her down on top of me as my tongue went deeper and deeper. It was the most passionate moment in many years.

The arrangement.

The thought hit me like a bolt of lightning out of the blue. I pulled away from Ginny. She asked if I okay. Everything was fine but I couldn't do it, I just couldn't do this.

"I'm sorry, Ginny, this is a really difficult time for me right now."

"It's ok, Harry. I understand." she said getting off my lap and fixing her hair. "We all have decisions that we have to make. Some of them are more important than others. But we have to stand by those decisions."

Ginny was right. I hugged her and apologised again.

I hoped she understood.

But when I left the office that day, I could hear her crying alone. I never realised the choices, the selfish choices I sometimes made really affected people. I had some serious thinking to do.

That's why I decided to meet Ron at the Leaky Cauldron. The atmosphere there was at least neutral and I'd be able to get my head straight over a beer and maybe some leaky house soup too.

I met Ron outside the pub and we went in together. Neville was there behind the bar. I was surprised the whole place was empty and he was even more surprised to see us. There was a musty odour in the room. Old paintings decorated the walls with cobwebs dangling from above and it all looked largely untouched from the last time I visited six years earlier, just before Charlotte was born. Some things never changed.

I greeted Ron and gave a good firm slap on the back followed by a fist pump.

"Hey, Harry, haven't seen you around here for a long time? How's things?"

"I'd be lying if I said they were good, Neville."

"Oh."

I'd instantly made the atmosphere awkward and tense. It seemed I had a special way of doing that. "Where is everyone?" Ron asked Neville, trying to break the tension.

"Oh business isn't so good these days. I think I might close up. There's more and more competition from modern and cheaper establishments."

"But this place is tradition." Ron said. "It's got history. Those new places are good but they're just soulless."

"Well you'll have to tell everyone else then because I think they disagree."

"How's Hannah?" I asked.

"She's good thanks. She's just upstairs at the moment. I'll call her if you like. She'd be happy to see you guys."

"No, no, it's ok. We're just here for a quiet drink."

"Fair enough. What'll it be then?"

"Two beers, please."

Neville poured the beers as Ron and I took our seats at the counter in front of the bar.

"I envy you, Ron." I said.

"Why's that" he replied.

"You're free. You're happy."

"But Harry, you're the famous wizard who killed Voldermort. You're adored all over the land. And you got the girl. I envy you."

"You really shouldn't Ron. It's not been easy. Sure, the days after Voldermort were good and then after graduation I felt like a king but I was soon sent crashing down to earth. I just don't know who I married sometimes. I don't understand her at all."

"Really? I saw you two the other day. You had her in your arms. I was blown away, mate. Looked like you were getting on just great."

"That wasn't real Ron. It was just an illusion."

Ron rubbed his eyes. "Just another one of your magic tricks?"

Neville handed us the large mugs of beer and I immediately buried my face deep in the beverage to try and avoid conversation. I tried to avoid magic these days as much as I tried to avoid awkward talk. Everything was always easier when staring down the bottom of my beer glass.

"What's all this I'm hearing with you and Hermione?" Neville asked.

"No, it's nothing, we're just going through a difficult phase." I replied.

"Not heard anything about that. But there's lots of rumours about you too. Heard you been carrying your missus around all over the place not letting her walk an inch. Must say, it's an awfully romantic gesture. Hannah keeps begging me to do the same with her but I don't have the stamina for it."

I laughed and they laughed along with me but they couldn't tell my sarcasm. I really wasn't happy at all and no one believed me. Was Hermione just playing a game with me?

I finished my beer quickly. Ron still wasn't half done with his. I ordered one more and another for him. I thought the more I drank the more I could avoid idle chatter. Turns out, that wasn't the case. It only made things worse. I looked around the old pub. Looked at the old chandeliers with cobwebs hanging off. It really did look like no one had been there for many many years. "I kissed Ginny today." I said to Ron. I always thought I could confide in Ron. Whenever I had a problem, he was always the first person I would turn to.

"I kissed her in the office today. What should I do?"

Ron raised his eyebrows. "My sister? Woah! I don't think you should be telling me things like that. I don't know what to think. You and Hermione seem so perfect together. Are you sure it wasn't a love potion like Amortentia or something?"

No, definitely nothing like that but times have changed." I said taking another gulp of beer. I was almost finished with my second glass. "The last few years have been really dark for me, personally. "

Ron patted me on the shoulder. "Well as old Dumbledore once said, happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

I laughed despite myself. Ron was the person I always turned to for advice and for all his misgivings, he always seemed to somehow make me feel better about things.

"He was a wise old fool, that Dumbledore." I said and then a long paused before I continued. "God, I miss those days so much."

Ron and I continued drinking and reminiscing about the good old times. Less about my marriage and more about Hogwarts. We laughed and cried telling stories of old Rubeus Hagrid. He still worked up in Hogwarts. Some things never changed.

I chucked down a few more beers. Ron and Neville were a bit surprised to see how much I could drink. I wasn't a drunk by nature but anything to hide the pain, I suppose.
The large entrance door then opened with a loud creak. I turned around. It was Hermione holding a sleeping Charlotte in her arms. She looked angry as she slammed the door closed. Hermione and Neville exchanged pleasantries but the only thing she said to me was: "You're late!"

"I'm sorry. I was just having a couple of beers with Ron. I didn't think you'd mind."

"I don't mind." she said. "But Charlotte cares. She was crying and wanted to see you."

"How did you know I was here?"

Neville turned away sheepishly at that point.

"I got a call from Hannah. She told me that you were here with Ron knocking back quite a few so I had to bring Charlotte with me. Anyway, in your state I'm not sure how you would get back be yourself."

"I'm not drunk." I said, slurring my words. "I'm fine."

Charlotte then started to wake up. "Daddy!" she called out sleepily. "I missed you!"

Hermione put her down and she ran up and attached herself to my leg, clinging to my trousers in that affectionate way she always did. She looked so cute dressed in her striped pyjamas, ready for bed.

"You know the promise!" Charlotte said giggling.

"What promise is that?" Neville asked.

"He has to carry mummy whenever I'm here."

She was literally bouncing up and down with prospect of seeing that. I was so embarrassed. I thought about telling Hermione to go to hell and ending the conditions for divorce right there. But then I looked down at Charlotte. My little, sweet girl was my world. I couldn't let her down.

I did as promised and swept Hermione into my arms. Neville and Ron clapped and cheered. Hannah came downstairs and stood behind Neville. She clapped too. The sound echoing around the large empty pub.

It was so humiliating.

"Are you going to give a smooch too?" Hannah asked.

That was going too far. This was bad enough. I didn't need any more contact between us. All these negative thoughts swirled around in my brain. I felt like I was falling down an endless chasm, trapped and unable to get out. I felt like I just couldn't be happy. Something was blocking that part of the brain. But then when I looked at Charlotte, she was like an angel, shining bright out of the darkness.

I had an idea.

I put Hermione down for a second. I told her to lift Charlotte up and she did. Then I scooped up Hermione one more time. It was more difficult carrying two but I steadied myself and was able to hold them both pretty easily.

"Have a good night, Harry." said Ron.

"Thanks." "Good night, Uncle Ron." shouted Charlotte waving.

Charlotte yawned and then so did Hermione. Charlotte closed her eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep, resting her head between mine and Hermione's shoulders. Hermione yawned again looking like she was ready to drift off too. She looked at me with weary eyes. I thought for a second that I saw her smile. Maybe it was just my imagination. She didn't. Hermione then reached out and touched my long, scraggly black beard that I had been too lazy to shave off these last few months.

"I think you need a shave, Harry." she said.

I definitely did. I had let myself go terribly with all the stress and pain. But I didn't reply to her. I simply watched as she yawned again, her eyelids gradually growing heavy and then fluttered closed. She drifted off into sleep along with Charlotte with both of them now resting their heads on my shoulder.

"There goes the happy family." said Neville.

"You should be more like Harry!" said Hannah. "When was the last time you carried me?"

Neville didn't really appreciate having his manhood challenged so he then turned and tried to scoop up his wife. It was a struggle at first and I could hear him audibly wince under the weight. Hannah looked less than impressed. Neville quickly put his wife down and held his lower back.

"Thank you, darling." said Hannah. "But this is hardly elegant, is it. Not like the Potters over there."

The Potters? The word struck so many emotional chords deep in my heart like the perfect note in a symphony orchestra. It sounded out and resonated around my entire body. This was my family. They were mine. I was holding my family up.

I carried Hermione and Charlotte out of the pub thinking that perhaps I could make a new start.