FicWad

Disclaimer:Same as usual; do you even have to ask?

Note://Well, I've finally managed to get around to this; inspiration has been singularly slow in coming. Sorry 'bout that. I've had several debates with myself what exactly to put into this beast - every scene I can think of, or concentrate more on advancing the plot. sigh Decisions, decisions ... guess I'll have to find a (hopefully) happy median. Anyway, glad you're still along for the ride, I hope you enjoy ... and as usual, please pass the feedback box on your way out? Thank you. //DB


Times Present, Times Past
Chapter 16: Confrontation


/Tuesday, Early Afternoon/
/ /
/ /Tommy was driving. Again.

It almost seemed as if he'd done nothing /but /drive since he'd left the Youth Center on Saturday night - and while the hum of the engine was the same as always, the car was running as smoothly as ever, he couldn't find the /feeling /he usually got while handling a vehicle.

This was one of the reasons he'd jumped at his uncle's offer to become a race car driver right out of high school; true, he'd had other plans, but being behind the wheel of a powerful car made him feel in control - not only of where he happened to be going at any particular time, but also of his life. If only he could make up his mind what he wanted to do!

For years, Tommy had thought he was going to be a Martial Arts instructor, maybe even own his own school one day, but watching Rocky struggle in that very profession had given him not only second, but third and fourth thoughts about the matter. His parents wanted him to go to college, which was fine in theory, but with what major? Tommy truly had no idea, and he knew he would have to decide on something before he even contemplated applying anywhere.

Then there was Kat. She'd come home from London this spring on an extended visit - how that worked out with her scholarship, Tommy didn't know; the whole time hole mess had happened before she'd gotten around to explaining - but she definitely would return to Europe for the fall semester at the latest. And that /was something Tommy dreaded. Letting her go once the previous year had been bad enough; as bad or worse as Kimberly moving to Florida had been. /At least Kim stayed in the same country. Kat is going to school on another continent!** Plus, Tommy could relate to Kim's ambition of following her dream of athletic accomplishment; he found it much harder to follow Katherine's hopes to make her mark in something as ... well, artsy as ballet.

Music, like Tanya does, I can understand. Singing is something most everybody likes. But what's so special about tripping across a stage on one's toes?

/ /Tommy was trying to see the allure, but so far wasn't very successful. Most of the music was strange to him, the poses and exercises seemed weird if not downright silly at times, and whenever Kat spoke about "interpretation", he floundered. To him, dancing meant releasing energy in a fun way with his friends, to a hard, driving beat - or at best, holding a pretty girl close in his arms, being able to sneak in little kisses and playful touches and hugs in public when the music was softer. But to stand up all by oneself and jump from one end of a stage to the other in a series of highly stylized steps to complicated orchestral arrangements? He just didn't get it.

Of course, Tommy hadn't told Kat about any of this; he didn't want to dim her enthusiasm and hoped that with time he might learn to understand what she saw in ballet.

However, all that was beside the point right now; it was just something to distract himself from worrying about the next hour. Because Tommy was on his way to the Scotts' house, to confront Jason.

Tommy had wanted to do that ever since he'd woken up late on Sunday morning, but he'd been too groggy at first due to his late-night run in the desert; then, when he'd almost got up the nerve to go, his uncle had called the house and summoned him to the race track right away. The temptation to just say 'no' had been almost overwhelming, but the reason for the call had been the fitting of his new racing harness, and that was something Tommy couldn't just let slide. And truth to tell, some part of him had been glad about putting off the inevitable confrontation.

/It's not as if I'm afraid or anything, /he'd told himself at the time, but even while he was driving to the track Tommy knew he'd been lying to himself. He /was /afraid ... of what, he wasn't quite sure, though.

What if Jason tells me he didn't care about my feelings? What if his friendship, everything was a lie all along if I meant so little to him that he could just ignore me over this? What if he meant to steal my girlfriend from me from the get-go? What if ... what if he's going to fight me over Kat?

/ /Tommy had no answers to these and the myriad of other questions battling in the depths of his mind, but he intended to find out - right here, right now. Today, come hell or high water. Purposefully, he turned into the quiet street where Jason lived, coming to a halt right in front of the two-story house. The driveway was occupied by both the Scotts' cars, which was rather unusual for this time of day on a weekday, as both John and Helen should be at work, but Tommy was too preoccupied to give it more than a fleeting thought. Instead, he just parked at the curb opposite. Drawing a deep breath, he shut off the engine and climbed out, crossing the street with determined strides that belied his inner uncertainty. Reaching the front door, he hesitated before ringing the doorbell; he'd never since his very first visit gone in this way.

Do I, or don't I?

Tommy felt uncomfortable using the familiar back entrance for once, but on reflection it would be even more awkward if he had to explain himself to either of Jason's parents. So he went around the house and, drawing another deep breath to fortify himself, quietly let himself in. He'd almost made it to the stairs when suddenly Helen Scott stepped out of the living room into the hallway, carrying two coffee mugs.

"Tommy!" she exclaimed, surprised. "I haven't heard you come in ..."

Reluctantly, he turned. "Um, hi. I, uh, I didn't want to disturb anyone," he mumbled, not quite meeting her eyes. There were exhausted smudges under them, and for an instant Tommy thought Helen had been crying - her eyelids and the tip of her nose looked suspiciously red - but as he couldn't imagine any reason /why /Jason's mother should have wept, he decided not to ask as he might've had on any other day.

Helen regarded him thoughtfully as she came closer. "You aren't," she said slowly. "Have you come to see Jason?" Her son had had a lengthy phone conversation the night before, but hadn't mentioned who he'd been talking to. Helen had just assumed it had been one of Jason's friends - and given Tommy's appearance now, when they'd only just returned from the cemetery seemed to confirm it. They are best friends, after all ... "Jason's in his room," she told Tommy in a subdued voice. "Be gentle with him, will you?"

Briefly Tommy wondered about the unusual request. Was there any way Helen could know why he'd come to speak to Jason? Nah. Mothers are good at that sort of thing, but not that good. /His eyes darted up, noticing the slim black skirt, white blouse, hose and heels. It seemed a strangely formal outfit for Helen to be wearing in the middle of a work day, especially since she usually was more the jeans-and-blouse type, but he shook it off again. He was hardly a fashion critic, after all. Instead, he just nodded tightly. He couldn't /promise that his imminent confrontation with Jason would be 'gentle', exactly, but he wasn't going to start a brawl at the Scott residence, either. Probably. "I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking. Call if you need something, okay?"

"Sure." /That /was going to be unlikely in the extreme, but Tommy chose not to say anything. Glad to be let off the hook so easily, he started mounting the short flight of stairs.

Helen watched him go, praying that his best friend's presence would bring at least some kind of peace to her son. During the brief funeral service, Jason had been pale and withdrawn, his eyes filled with anguish - whether it was about having to bury his daughter's remains a second time within a scant month, or whether it was about watching Katherine sob quietly into her mother's shoulder, Helen couldn't say. But she'd ached for both of them. Inwardly, she hoped that Tommy could help Jason when his parents so clearly could not, even though he, too must've been shocked by the surprising revelation.


···

Wearily, Jason shrugged out of the white dress shirt. He'd already taken off his dark suit, but as he was putting on his jeans he sank to his bed, feeling suddenly completely washed out. The last twenty-four hours had gone from bad to worse; as if having to suffer through the funeral this morning hadn't been enough, he'd had to reassure Billy when his oldest friend had called him the night before, telling Billy that no, he wasn't /blaming him for their baby's death. Tempting though the idea had been for a moment. But in the face of the former Blue Ranger's obvious turmoil and guilt, Jason couldn't bring himself to be that unfair. It /hadn't /been Billy's fault, not his, not Kat's, not Jason's; if anything or anyone was /to blame, it was fate. However, when Billy finally seemed comforted to a degree and had rung off shortly before midnight, Jason had felt as if he'd been through an emotional wringer almost worse than losing their daughter in the first place. Consequently, he'd lain awake half the night, staring unseeingly at his room's ceiling in a futile effort to banish the painful memories.

Exhausted, Jason had stumbled down this morning, refusing the breakfast his mother had prepared except for a cup of strong, black coffee. Anything else, he was sure, would've come back up again right away. Even so, the hot liquid was still burning in his stomach like acid when the Scotts left for the cemetary.

It had been even harder than Jason had feared to bury Dorilene's remains - not only because this second time brought up all the pain once again, but also because Kat had been so incredibly devastated. And this time, there was nothing he could do about it.

Back in the past, they had been able to comfort each other through the worst of their grief, could hold onto each other until the first sharpness of loss subsided. They had prepared the tiny body with as much love and care as they could, kissed their daughter goodbye before laying her into the earth onto soft moss and covering her with their own hands, prayed over the small mound and then walked away together. This time, Kat had stood with her parents while Jason's own had flanked him; only a few feet and the freshly-dug grave separating them.

/It might as well have been miles ... or centuries, /Jason remembered thinking as he slowly slid first one, then the other leg into his pants.

There had been no last glimpse of an innocent face, just the carved wooden lid of the antique chest Doris had provided. Even inside, the tiny, age-worn bones had been covered by a lace handkerchief crochetted by Jason's great-grandmother, courtesy of Helen. The store-bought bouquet of pink rosebuds Kat had placed on it wasn't the same as the few flower petals he'd collected; neither were the flowers Jason had cut in his mother's garden. Someone else had spoken a prayer, found kind words, but nothing Pastor Shultz had said could ease the welter of feelings - all of them painful - in Jason's heart. Nor, he suspected, whatever Kat must've gone through an hour ago. The ultimate agony had been that she wouldn't even look at him - not once since they'd exchanged initial greetings, anyway.

Jason knew Kat was getting all the support her parents could give her, but still ... he desperately wished there was something, anything that he could do. But his own words spoken on Sunday came back to haunt him; it had been /he /who'd said they were over. Had, if it came down to it, /rejected /her. Oh, his reasons had seemed good enough at the time - they /were /no longer alone, stranded in the past, and aside from their parents there were their friends to hold them up. Plus, Kat had gone back into Tommy's arms right away, as he'd always known she would. That should be more than enough for her needs, so Jason assumed that his decision had still been the right one, cold-hearted as he'd sounded even to his own ears.

/And yet ... I can't help but wish ... /Savagely he bit off the thought before it could fully form. That way lay only more pain ... and he seriously doubted that he could handle much more. Sighing, he got up to finish dressing. Just as he was tightening his belt, though, someone knocked on his door.

···


It took Tommy several seconds of staring at the wooden door to Jason's room before he could bring himself to knock. The sound barely carried to his own ears, and chagrined Tommy realized that it probably hadn't been heard on the other side. Still he waited, his stomach churning with a mixture of dread, confusion and anger before he tried again. This time, his knock was sharp and firm, seemingly loud enough to echo across the landing. Inhaling deeply, he was already reaching for the knob when he heard Jason answer.

···


The very /last /thing Jason wanted was having to talk to someone right now, but good manners dictated that he at least acknowledge whoever was outside, so he just pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly and replied.

"Yes?"

He'd expected his mother peeking cautiously into his room, but as the door swung open, instead of her worried eyes he found himself staring at the stormy expression of his best friend.

"Tommy," he murmured hoarsely. The very person I need to talk to ... and the very last person I want to talk to. At least not today ... not now!

/ /Silently, Tommy stepped inside the familiar room, not looking at the tasteful décor - it had been redone after Jason's return from Geneva, creating a comfortable environment in dark grey, black, white and a few crimson accents, with a vaguely Asian feel to it that reflected Jason's love of Martial arts - but keeping his gaze firmly on the half-dressed figure in front of him. Some part of him wondered why Jason would change clothes in the middle of the day, but Tommy dismissed it as irrelevant. The significance of the formal black suit and white shirt hanging over the back of the desk chair also escaped him completely.

The door swung shut behind him, leaving Jason and Tommy standing alone for the first time in far too long, even though it had been less than two weeks since they'd last spent time together. Then, they had been best friends, closer than brothers. Now, they were ... something else, and neither knew what. Too much had happened to both of them, and the two young men were painfully aware that, no matter how much they wished otherwise, they could not pick up where they'd left things.

The silence between them stretched uncomfortably as their eyes locked, chocolate brown boring into midnight darkness while each sought for words. Only ... there /were /no words that could adequately express their feelings.

Regret, guilt, anger ... all of that and more built up an atmosphere that was charged with tension. The air in Jason's room fairly crackled with it, but he seemed frozen to the spot he was standing in. Tommy was equally rooted in his position next to the door, and both were pale with too many emotions to express.

Jason was the first to break the impasse. He swallowed hard, drew a deep breath and said the first thing that popped into his mind. The first - and most important - thing that he had to do.

"I'm sorry."

Sorry for putting you through this whole mess. Sorry for loving Kat when I knew she was yours. Sorry that you had to learn about it the way you did. Sorry for betraying your trust, for losing faith, for not being strong enough to wait to be rescued.

/ /Jason shook his head helplessly, knowing it wasn't enough, that those two little words would not - /could not /- explain his actions. Especially not when, deep within his heart, they also encompassed other things as well.

I'm sorry that I put Kat through this, having to divide her loyalties like that. Sorry that I fell in love with her in the first place, even long before we were stranded in the past. Sorry that whatever developed between her and me only led to heartbreak for all three of us. And ...I'm also sorry for myself, because in the end, I lost not only her, but our baby ...and you.

/Hearing the softly-spoken apology, Tommy only snorted. A part of him needed to hear it said, but in his current state of mind, it was definitely a case of 'too little, too late'. He hurt too much to see the pain in Jason, a pain that easily equalled his own, if for different reasons. All he was aware of was feeling bitterly betrayed, and he wanted - no, /needed to know what had caused the man who he'd believed he could trust above all others to disregard that trust. Even though, it was nigh on impossible to find a starting point, there were so many things Tommy felt demanded an explanation.

What made you betray me? What were your reasons for taking away what was mine? What did you say or do to Kat that made her turn away from me, to you? What were you thinking when you believed that we - that I - had given up on you? Wasn't it enough that Kim left me for another guy? Did you and Kat have to turn on me as well?

Questions upon questions churned in Tommy's mind, all equally important, all clamoring to be asked and answered. However, when he finally could control his voice - and himself - enough to speak, they all coalesced into a single word.

"Why?"

Jason sighed and lowered his head. Absently, he picked up his shirt and slipped it over his head ... almost as if he was symbolically putting on some kind of armor against Tommy's entirely understandable anger, hurt and confusion.

"Why what? Why I'm sorry?"

"Cut the crap," Tommy interrupted him sharply, anger rushing to the forefront of his inner turmoil. "You know what I'm here for." With an effort, he unclenched his hands which had balled into fists. "I want an explanation!"

Jason's broad shoulders slumped exhaustedly. "Yeah, I know that. And you deserve one," he muttered. "I just wish I could give it to you ... one that'll make sense to you, anyway," he added under his breath.

Close to gnashing his teeth with increasing frustration, Tommy took a step closer, his posture on the brink of becoming threatening.

"Why did you go for Kat?" he grated. "You knew she's with me - that I'm in love with her. Why did you have to take her away from me?"

Jason closed his eyes, feeling all the doubt and guilt he'd experienced at the time coming back with a vengeance. Again, he shook his head. "At the time ... it seemed right," he murmured, knowing that it sounded more than lame, and that it did nothing to appease Tommy's wrath. In fact, the brown eyes flashed dangerously. He held up his hand.

"Look ... I'm not saying it was /right," Jason continued. "As a matter of fact, we both knew it wasn't, that you'd be hurt if ... /when you heard about it. But ... we'd kinda hoped you would understand ..."

"Well, I don't," Tommy muttered ungraciously. "You should've waited until we rescued you!"

"How long, Tommy?" Jason asked. "It had been a year for us - a /year/, Tommy! - before we got close!"

"Yeah, right."

It was Jason's turn to snort. "Believe it or not, but nothing happened between Kat and me until then," he said quietly. "Sure, we hugged and comforted each other when things were rough; well, rougher than usual, anyway. But I didn't kiss her until she pretty much lost it the day we'd been marooned for a year. How much longer did you think we would've had to wait? We had no way of knowing if there even /was /a way back for us, ever!"

A small voice at the back of his head told Tommy that there was truth in what Jason was saying, but he was in no mood to listen to it. Instead, he latched onto one thing - that it had been /Jason /who'd taken that final step from friendship into intimacy with his girlfriend.

"Why did you have to kiss her in the first place?" he demanded to know. "Couldn't you have comforted her another way?!?"

"Yeah, I guess - and I probably should've," Jason admitted readily. "Hell, I /knew /it wasn't right, that I was betraying you, but ..." The memory of Kat's tears and despair was suddenly sharp in his mind, how she'd clung to him and practically begged him to hold and comfort him. So were the remembered feelings of helplessness and too-long suppressed desire on his part, and Jason let his voice trail off.

I can't let Tommy know how Kat made more or less the first move, that it was she who convinced me that he'd understand and forgive. Not that she had to work very hard at it; I wanted to be persuaded because I wanted her - and that was the only time or way I could ever have her. No, better to let him think that it was all my doing. At least that way, there's hope that Tommy won't blame Kat and forgive her, at least.

"But what?" Tommy interrupted Jason's musings. Inwardly, Jason shook himself. He had to be very mindful of what and how to say, now that he'd made the decision to shoulder the blame. It would hopefully mean that Tommy and Kat would stay together; if it meant he'd have to lose not only the girl of his dreams but his best friend as well, well ... he'd learn to live with it.

"But ... when Kat asked me to hold her and was crying so, I ... I couldn't help myself," he murmured. "I admit, I'd been ... well, attracted to her from when we first met, and if she hadn't so obviously been head over heels for you, I might've tried something a lot sooner," Jason confessed, blushing.

/That /was something Tommy hadn't expected, and under any other circumstances he would've loved to pursue the startling admission, but he was not about to let himself be distracted - even for a minute.

"You were attracted to Kat?" he snarled, feeling even more betrayed if that was possible. "You stand there and tell me you wanted /my /girlfriend? I suppose next you're going to say that you didn't put the moves on her out of loyalty to me, huh? Give me one - just /one /reason why I should believe you!"

"Because it happens to be the truth," Jason replied quietly, stung by Tommy's words. He supposed it was understandable from Tommy's point of view that he couldn't see that it had been out of respect for their friendship that he'd stepped back, but the patent disbelief hurt nonetheless.

"Yeah, right," Tommy scoffed. "What about Emily? You got together with her /practically the day you met her! How could you do /that if you had the hots for Kat?!? Huh? Tell me that!"

The crude phrase made Jason color up - partly from anger, because it hadn't /been like that at all; right from the outset, his attraction to the lovely Pink Ranger had gone far deeper than teenage lust. And partly because ... he sighed. Even the memory of exactly /why he'd entered a relationship with the spirited blonde was enough to make him cringe in retrospect. It wasn't something he was proud of.

"What can I say?" Jason answered, trying to keep things reasonable. "Only an idiot could've missed that she saw only you, and it was fairly obvious that you were interested as well, so ..." He shrugged. "Emily ... she was pretty, and different ... really nice, once you got to know her."

And most of all, she was safe. But he couldn't admit that out loud, could he?

"I /tried /to make it work, but I realized fairly soon that I was basically just using her as a substitute for Kat, which wasn't fair to either of the girls, least of all Emily. She deserves someone who likes her for who she is, not because she happens to resemble someone else I'd rather have dated."

Which would explain why the couple broke up after only a month, Tommy had to silently admit. It was also very much in keeping with what he knew about Jason's character, if he stopped to consider the matter. If he was honest, he couldn't even blame Jason for fancying Katherine; after all, Tommy himself had felt an attraction when they'd first met despite his relationship with Kimberly at the time. However, he was in no way ready to regard Jason's actions during their time-travelling adventure in such a forgiving light.

Not yet. If ever.

Jason observed Tommy closely; he hadn't planned on diverting his best friend's attention with his confession, but hopefully it had at least served to cool him down a few degrees. Tommy was no longer tense like a tightly-wound coil, ready to explode at the slightest provocation. /Maybe now is the right time to get it all out, to tell everything and have it over with without him going completely mental ... /Fixing that hope firmly in his mind, Jason returned to Tommy's initial question.

"But anyway ... back to what happened between Kat and me that day ... I didn't really /mean /to kiss her, not /kiss /kiss, anyway, but ... somehow, that's what I ended up doing. Kat didn't really object, I guess she needed the closeness and comfort or whatever, and ... things kinda got out of hand from there."

It wasn't the whole truth, but close enough. /No need to tell him that we waited for days before taking things further, that both of us had time to think and decide against becoming a couple. We could have stayed just friends, could've let that one kiss pass. But we didn't. We. Not just me, and in the end it was Kat who took that last step. /Jason could almost feel Katherine's soft hand touching his cheek, drawing his mouth to hers in the fire-lit shelter when they'd become intimate that first time, and he barely suppressed a shiver at the memory of shared pleasure it evoked. But that was something he couldn't tell Tommy, either, not if he wanted to salvage /their /relationship, so he just shrugged and refused to say more.

"Things 'got out of hand'? Is that how you think of betraying me? I'd say that it was far more than that!"

Jason swallowed. It seemed as if there was no way he could make Tommy see what he and Kat had gone through, that they /both /had been aware of some of the impact their actions would have, and that their only hope had been that Tommy would care enough to eventually understand and forgive. If he ever did, it was obviously not going to happen today.

Trying to salvage what he could for at least one of them, Jason then shouldered most of the blame in a last gift to Katherine.

"We didn't mean to. Tommy ... whether you choose to believe it or not, I tried to keep my head, to think of you/, but between Kat's need and my own - yeah, /and /my feelings for her - I just wasn't strong enough to resist. I'm more sorry than I can ever say that we hurt you, but ... that's how it was," he finished resignedly. /The ball's in your court now, Bro. I've said my piece; make of it what you will.

A heavy silence settled between the two, Tommy's brown eyes boring into Jason's darker ones as he waited for him to continue. But the firm mouth remained resolutely closed.

"I trusted you," Tommy finally said with renewed bitterness when Jason left it at that, once more reminded of why he'd sought this confrontation. "I trusted you to take care of Kat, to stand in my place in looking out for her ... but that wasn't enough, was it? You had to replace me in her heart, too!"

/Oh God, I wish! /Savagely, Jason suppressed the thought.

"No. No, I didn't." The deep voice, apologetic and rather tentative up until now, suddenly rang with conviction.

"How can you say that?" Tommy almost shouted. "She had a baby! Your baby!"

Wryly, Jason grinned despite himself. "Something that was pretty much inevitable, given the fact we had no real, effective method of birth control. And trust me, we tried."

Tommy felt himself blush slightly as the point struck home. He didn't want to concede anything, but he couldn't argue with basic biology. Still, he felt himself shying away from the actual image of Jason and Kat intimately entwined, doing things that required birth control. Better to hold onto his anger.

"You shouldn't have needed any in the first place!"

"Well, yeah. And I am sorry we did. But I did /not /replace you in Kat's heart," Jason repeated.

"How can you be so sure?" Tommy asked sullenly, wanting - needing - to believe, but at the same time unable to see how Kat could /not /have fallen for Jason. After all, if there was one person who knew the qualities of the erstwhile Gold Ranger inside and out, it was Tommy.

"Because I /know/," Jason said quietly, feeling once more the devastation of exactly how he'd come by that knowledge. "She ... kinda told me herself ."

"Yeah, right. Don't tell me she made deep, dark confessions while you were sleeping with her," Tommy sneered, suddenly freshly infuriated. Somehow, Jason's revelation implied a degree of intimacy that was almost harder to contemplate than actual physical involvement, and he found he resented the idea deeply.

"No. Not that." It took all of his control to hold onto his temper, but Jason managed. Coming at any other time - from any other /man /- he would've lashed out at the insult to Kat's integrity. Yes, he'd known she loved Tommy, but she'd /never /brought up Tommy's name once they'd become a couple, especially not when they were being intimate.

"What then? Why should I believe you?"

Jason didn't answer directly, or right away. He took a few steps away from Tommy, towards the window. Staring out into the garden, his voice was barely audible when he finally spoke.

"After ... after we'd buried our baby, Kat got sick," he began, keeping a tight lid on his pain. "/Very /sick. I'd tried my best to keep things as clean as possible, but somehow she'd still caught an infection during the birth ... or the stress was too much ... whatever. Anyway, Kat developed a high fever; high enough that I was afraid she'd die. For days, all I could do was try and keep her cooled down and hydrated. Nothing seemed to work; despite everything I did, Kat got delirious."

"So?"

Tommy didn't want to hear this; it had been difficult enough to live with his fear of exactly that while they were still looking for a way to rescue Jason and Kat. To learn that reality had been far worse than his anxiety was ... uncomfortable, and more.

Jason gulped down his own remembered fears. "So ... she didn't know where she was, what had happened ... she kept reaching for our baby, thrashing around, working herself into a frenzy ... she also kept calling for someone to help her."

"So what? Kat often calls for help," Tommy shrugged. It was one of the things he found so endearing about Kat - that she still looked upon him as her White Knight. He was pleased that she so clearly showed her need for him a lot of times.

Not when it was just her and me, /Jason wanted to object, but didn't. /Not if she could help it, at least. She learned to trust her own strength, and knew when it was not enough after all.

"Maybe. But ... even though there hadn't been anyone but her and me for two years, even though she was delirious and in a great deal of pain ... even though I'd been seeing to her every need for almost a week, hardly left her side ... it wasn't my name she called. It was /yours/."

And /that /had hurt beyond endurance. It was the one thing which had convinced Jason that he'd never have the kind of relationship with the lovely blonde dancer that he dreamed of; the one thing which had given him the strength to break it off with Katherine on Sunday, despite the pain he'd known he was causing her.

If she still calls for Tommy in such a situation, there's no chance for me.

/ /Slowly, Jason turned around and faced Tommy fully.

"Kat doesn't love me; never has, never will. Whatever was between her and me in the past, it's just that - past. She's never stopped loving /you/, though. Trust me on that, Bro."

A wave of relief washed through Tommy as he heard the quiet words, followed immediately by a rush of renewed betrayal. If Kat had indeed called for him /in her time of need, that meant two things - one, she hadn't stopped loving him, as Jason claimed, and two, it then /had /to have been Jason's fault that she'd let herself be led astray. /Hadn't it? Yes!

/ /Hurt pride and a feeling of righteous wrath made Tommy draw up to his full height.

"Don't call me 'Bro'," he demanded coldly. "A brother would never have gone behind my back like that."

Jason paled and closed his eyes briefly to hide his feelings. So his worst fear was coming to pass after all. He was about to lose Tommy's friendship over what had happened between him and Kat. Well ... he'd deal with that, too. Somehow.

"If that's the way you want it," he murmured tonelessly.

"It's the way you made it," Tommy spat. He turned to leave. His hand already on the doorknob, he turned back one last time. "I always thought you were my best friend. You've proved that you're anything but."

Jason didn't answer; not that Tommy had expected him to. After all, what /was /there to say? With a final glare, Tommy let himself out, barely managing not to slam the door behind him. Avoiding the hallway where he might run into Jason's parents again, he left the house, jumped into his car and drove off.

From his window, Jason watched the red jeep's taillights dwindle first to little pinpoints of red light as the car went down the street, then vanish completely from his sight as Tommy turned round a corner. With a heavy sigh, he let the curtains fall back into place and went to lie on his bed. His movements were stiff and sluggish, like a man's four times his age. Staring unseeingly at the ceiling, letting the day's multitude of anguish wash through him, Jason's mind was filled with only one thought.

Today, I've finally lost everything for good. My daughter ... the girl I love ... and my best friend. Forever.

/ /He felt completely empty, and 'forever' stretched ahead of him, filled only with darkness.


To Be Continued ...