FicWad

Your POV

We all thought it would be another uneventful lazy day. I wish it would have been. Day after day. Night after night, Donatello continued work on his newest creation, which was to be a surprise for all of us. The three unoccupied brothers and I were curled up on the couch as we watched whatever we could find on the satellite that was at least, okay. Yeah, it was one of those days. Having been completely oblivious to the two teens entering behind us, we only noticed as Casey cleared his throat. We four just shifted enough to see them from the corner of our eyes. Except Michelangelo, he was already jumping up from his upside down position on the couch longing for anything to do. Just as long as he could use his energy.
“Where’s Donnie?” Casey asked looking around shifting back and forth between his feet.
“Uh, his lab. Why do you care?” Raphael asked shrugging from his seat on the beanbag.
“We wanted to tell you all at the same time.” April said in almost a whisper. She was seeming nervous which alerted all of us.
“Why? Is something wrong?” Leo asked standing slowly to get his purple clad brother from his work.
“Oh no, no, no. We just have news. Happy news.” April said still having a nervous aura but trying to hide it.
I leaned back to lying down on my solitary area on the couch. Something was going on, and it seemed only April and Casey knew right now. We hadn’t seen much of the two teens in the past two weeks and when we did, it was when we had to. As Donnie entered the room, I could see he hadn’t slept for a few days as his eyelids drooped, but when he saw Casey and April next to each other he seemed more attentive. April looking at the floor standing more or less behind Casey, glanced at Donnie then back to the floor. I had a sudden moment of realization.
“Um, we thought we’d tell you guys, we have officially began dating.” Casey said knowing no way April would be able to. My heart dropped as you could see Donatello’s own drop. April looked longingly at the tallest turtle’s face to see his expression knowing the news would affect him the most. He smiled and lost the smile almost instantly. I could feel the awkwardness floating between the two, but I didn’t know what to do. Thankfully Mikey decided to speak up.
“That’s great guys!” He said putting an arm around each of them. Looking up Mikey noticed Donnie turn and walk back into his lab. Shutting the big metal door behind him. The newly pronounced couple sat on the couch in their own section.
After a few episodes of Steven Universe, Mikey’s pick, I stood stretching. Climbing over the back of the couch, I headed to the workshop belonging to the genius. He had something rectangular in his hand and I thought I saw him, talking to it? Paying no mind, I pushed the thought away. I just guessed it was another project that has begun to frustrate him. I came up behind him, but as he heard me approaching he put down his object of interest and hung his head. I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“How you doing?” I asked him.
“I don’t want this to hurt me. I knew it would happen someday, but I, I don’t know. I’ve planned for it and- she didn’t even come see if I was okay.” Donnie answered as the days and nights of restless activity showed it’s face, I could tell Donatello was holding back his tears as well as he could. “I don’t know why it hurts more than I thought. I feel like I was lied to. I planned for this!” He said turning in his spinny chair as I pulled my hand back. He looked in my eyes with his deep brown ones. “Why? Why does this hurt me?”
“It’s because, now it’s reality Donnie. Reality is always different than imagination.” I said watching his eyes travel back down to his lap. “Come on. You need a break Donatello. You’ve been working for how many days straight. Come watch TV with us or something. Or go take a nap. I promise that you’ll feel better after a nap.” Before I finished my sentence, Donnie had already started nodding his head. He stood up, and I followed him out shutting the light off and closing the door behind us.
Turning around from the door, I run straight into the exhausted turtle. He had his hand on his staff. “Donnie.” I said. The spoken of turtle pulled the staff free from his sheath releasing the blade, and walked up behind the couch. “Donatello!” I more shouted knowing his true intentions. As I yelled, everyone stood and turned to face us. Once Casey had stood milliseconds after the others Donatello struck the human teen with the bladed side of the bo. Raphael took the staff while Michelangelo and Leonardo held Donnie back to stop further harm to the confused kid.
“What the hell Donnie?” Raph yelled at him shocking his immediate younger brother. Donnie almost snarled at Casey and pushed his brothers off him. He turned around and walked to his room slamming the door with the object he was talking to earlier. More than likely he was going to take a nap.
Leo kept trying to move Casey’s hands from the wound on his face, but he wouldn’t move. Mikey went to get Splinter. Raph turned and glared at me.
“What did you say to him?” He asked dropping the still bladed weapon. It was obvious they were going to blame me.
“Nothing that caused this!” I said still in shock of the recent events. Master Splinter came into the living room followed by Mikey. As Splinter looked over Casey, who had moved his hands from the insistence of the old rat, he apologized for his son’s actions.
“You will be fine. It will most likely leave a scar though.” Splinter announced getting up from his kneeling position to get some wound treatment things.
After Splinter had done all he could to try and prevent permanent damage, Casey decided he was going to leave from fear of another encounter with the emotionally unstable turtle. April followed him.
We didn’t expect to see much of them for a few days, but then a week passed. And another. Donnie has stuck more to staying in his lab, not even coming out for food very often. Although the other two decided it wasn’t my fault, Raphael still believes I said something to Donnie. Trying to think back on what I said exactly has been getting harder. Everyday I lose some memory of how I said it or exactly what I said. Sixteen days ago this happened. For sixteen days I’ve been trying to think if I did say something. I couldn’t think of anything I said except “Reality is always different than imagination.” That didn’t provoke him. It was just from exhaustion and jealousy. Not really a good combination.
Once the second week finished up, Donatello started coming out of the lab to eat and sometimes watch TV. I figured it was over, or he just came to terms with it, so I wasn’t going to bring it up. The Friday of the third week, I came to the lair with impossible math homework. I asked Donnie for help, of course, and he agreed. We set my paper down on an empty space on his desk.
“Okay Ap-, uh, (Y/N).” Donatello started. He just missed talking to her. Right? I didn’t call him out on his mistake, obviously he noticed, he did correct himself. The next Tuesday was the same way, but it happened more than once. By Friday of the fourth week, he had begun calling me April without correcting himself. He was confused and often angry if I wrote (Y/N) on my paper. He had begun arguing with me about what my name is, and that’s when it started bothering me. This particular Friday though, he had done something I never expected after he had erased my name.
“Donatello! D-Did you just slap me?” I asked rubbing my burning cheek beginning to feel angered coming to look in his eyes. I was shocked to see how they’ve lost their warm inviting feeling they had only four weeks back. The deep loving brown eyes. The were just cold and reclused now though, and I could feel it pulling at my heart. I missed the old Donatello. I loosened my gaze starting to feel less and less angry with him, but he just deepened his. He looked from me to my paper. Turning the pencil upside down, he began erasing the word I’ve practiced scrawling so many times until it was just a fade. He opened his Sharpie and wrote APRIL across the name blank.
“Why do you want to be someone you’re not?” He asked not looking from the paper.
“Right.” I said going to get up, but he pulls me back down. Shocked as I sat on his left leg, he forced me into a kiss. I felt uncomfortable when I noticed he wouldn’t let me go, not because he kissed me, but he thought I was April. NEEDED me to be April. Once he decided he was finished, he let me go. I still stayed sitting there shocked.
“Um, April, I wanna tell you how I feel.” He began as I cut him off.
“Donnie, dude, I’ll say this one more time. I am not April. I’m (Y/N).” I said spreading the syllables in April and my name. Donnie’s facial reaction made me wish I could take it back. Every word. I stood and backed away. I grabbed my stuff off his desk. Turning, I began to head out the door, but just as I was about to open the door to leave the lab, he once again pulled me back. He spun me to face him, embraced me, then kissed the top of my head. He moved his hands to my waist and kissed me again.
“I can’t stay mad at you, I love you April.” He said pulling back from the kiss briefly before continuing it. His hand traveled up my shirt removing it, and I tried to pull away. Once he began to fiddled with my jeans, I successfully pulled away from his grip.
“Knock it off Donatello, this isn’t gonna happen. I’m NOT April!” Wishing I could take it back once his hand collided with my mouth pushing me into the wall only a foot behind. Pushing harder and harder on my mouth, he slid me up the wall glaring daggers at me. I was only supported by his hand against my mouth as my feet dangled almost an entire foot above the ground. His hands, large as they were, covered all available air passageways. I started clawing his arm and kicking his plastron, but he just pushed me into the wall harder. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes as I almost couldn’t take the pressure.
“Stop toying with me April. Give it up! I’m tired of your shit!” He yelled and I swear it echoed. As the world started going black and my clawing and kicking became less forceful, I heard the door to the lab open. I could make out Raph run by and tackle Donnie. Leo ran over to me by the time I had fell all the way to the floor on my hands and knees, panting heavily. My vision came back enough to see Leonardo had been staring my eyes with his deep blue concerned ones.
“Are you alright? Can you see? And breath? And-” The eldest blue eyed turtle questioned.
“I-I think I’m fine.” I took a big breath. “How about Donnie?” I asked trying to sit against the wall normally. Leo helped me lean back, then he answered.
“Well, he’s awake. Unless you didn’t mean physically.” Leo continued starting to sit next to me with his knees up and his hands clasped around them. He hung his head then shook it, finally coming to rest it against my shoulder with his face down. “Gah, I-I really am sorry this happened. I wish I could have done something, I wish I was here. I wish-” Leo said tears started filling the rims of his eyes. “It’s hard to see this is what your family is becoming. I just- I feel like I failed everyone. Failed to protect you and my brother. Just- I’m- ” Mikey came back in the large room with Splinter trailing behind him interrupting the stuttering leader. As their father kneeled next to me, Leo moved out of his way standing. Leo put his hands together and tried to look over his Sensei’s shoulders at me.
“Ms. (L/N), I believe it would be better for your safety and my son’s mental health if you’d stay at your home in the apartments until further notice.” Splinter said stroking his beard and sighing. “You might trigger another attack, and none of us want that to happen.” He finished looking to the large red mark left on my lower face from his emotionally unstable son. I nodded to the master trying to stand, to no avail. Leo grabbed my hand and helped me up. I started out the door, when Leo caught my attention again.
“Wait, (Y/N)” He announced grabbing my arm and turning me with my forgotten shirt in hand. I smiled sheepishly as he helped me put it back on. I hugged him and he hugged back harder making breathing become a challenge once again. Trying not to let him notice my loss of breath, I looked in his eyes. He had noticed he’d hurt me. I smiled sympathetically and whispered to him.
“Leo, you didn’t fail me. Don’t ever think that.” I hugged him one last time then grabbed my unfinished homework and bag from the desk. The desk the whole situation started four weeks back. Turning back to glance at them one last time, they all seemed sorry and depressed about losing a friend. Except Donnie. He just stared back at me coldly which I took as my cue to leave.
Once I made it home, my family didn’t welcome me back as well as the turtles would have. In a loving way like they would have. I just threw my bag, with my homework shoved inside, on my bed. My parents were a little upset with never coming home, but didn’t seem to care too much. I was more needed for lower taxes than the need for having a family. After the small supper of mac and cheese I went to do homework. Having nothing but tap water to drink, I filled a cup of it and brought it to my small room. Taking a short drink, I began on my english homework, saving math for last. Becoming frustrated, I put my headphones on. Turning the music up so I couldn’t even hear the ticking on my keyboard.
The next few days I had no contact with the turtles or Splinter or even my biological family at that. They decided they needed a day away from us kids, so they were going on a trip to some place. I don’t know. I didn’t really pay too much attention. Why would I have? The only thing that involved me was having to watch my two younger siblings. Unless I got tired of them. Mom told me to just send them to a friends for the week. I thought I could make it through the week with them, but I had pizza rolls thrown at me one too many times. I had given up on them and sent them each to their individual friends’ houses. As I was more alone, I felt less alone. It started Thursday: three days until my family came back. Beginning with small things like a window left open I know I closed, or small things being moved, or just the sensation of not being alone like I would’ve expected to be.
Saturday: one day until my family came home. I found myself counting down the days until I was no longer alone. Or no longer supposed to be alone. Every day my mind raced along side my heart at every noise or shadow unknown to me. All the creaking or small scratching. Sometimes a distant breathing. I’ve had the urge to call the police multiple times, but I’ve been having a feeling of what’s going on. I know I should call Leo, and that’s who I would call, but I never feel alone to take a private call. This particular morning though, having one day left, I was awaken to running water. From my kitchen? I lie stiff and still feeling a rush of anxious fear jutting through my body. I felt my T-Phone buzz next to my bed.
“Uh, dudette, what’s going on, are you okay? I’ve tried like 7 times to get a hold of you.” The text from the youngest turtle stated. I checked through the rest of my texts and one voicemail. The texts mostly said things like: “Did you get my voicemail?” or “Dudette, help please!” But then I heard the voicemail.
The voicemail sounded as if Mikey was running possibly jumping. Like he was chasing something like a lost paper, or someone, like a lost brother. “Okay, so, yeah, I was kinda supposed to keep an eye on, um, on Donnie and uh, well I have absolutely no idea where he is. Please pick up, I really need you to pick up. Don’t tell the others. Just don’t be alone.” My eyes widened when I realized I was for sure not alone.
All I have to do is get outside and find a group of people. The problem with that is, I have no windows in my room and it’s 2 AM. Was Donnie actually in my kitchen or did I just imagine this whole thing? Just my brain telling me I’m a gullible paranoid, when the water started again. I could feel the intensity of the situation burning down my spine. Then for a few moments before a pause I heard a small tune-ish sound. The water shut off once again, and I could make out the humming sound actually being humming. A song that I did recognize. I knew it was him, he used that when he was working. Some parts whistled, some parts hummed. Definitely him. I knew Donnie was in my kitchen.
Making a plan in my head I knew I’d have to sneak by him, or he’d- Wait, what would he do? Why am I so scared of Donnie? He’s still Donnie. Right? He’s just needing someone to love, right? ‘He did almost smash my face.’ ‘He was just tired that day.’ ‘But then why is he in my house?’ My brain rattled on and on with different ideas of what was happening and what happen if I had to face him. I pushed my covers off and grabbed my T-Phone standing slowly. I can feel myself shaking as I reach for the door knob. Over and over I tried, over and over I pulled my hand back down. As I reached one last time for the knob, I noticed the water had been stopped. Donnie was unoccupied. But for how long has he been. There is other sounds as things sounded like they were being knocked over in the living room. Suddenly I see the knob start to turn. I back away fear filling my facial features as the door opened to reveal a lighted hallway with none other than Michelangelo standing in the doorway. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized was being captivated by me. Leonardo was right behind the younger.
Letting out a breath, as well, more than likely from seeing me okay, Leo pushed Mikey out of the way to move across to me. He pulled me up to my feet, my legs still shaking, as there was another crash from the living room. Unfortunately followed by Raphael coming in the doorway holding his stomach breathing as if he had got the wind knocked out of him. Another crashing from the living room, and we hurried out of the doorway. Having regained my balance, I followed them out into the tv room to see the window had been broken. We all looked at each other a few times followed by staring at the broken glass again.
“Let’s go find him.” Leo said breaking the silence. “You need to stay here (Y/N).” I looked toward him anger showing my face, but loosened and nodded. Donnie was after me, not the others. “Mikey, you need to stay with (Y/N).”
“What? No way! We all need to go!” Mikey said flailing his arms.
“She’s not safe with him able to come back.” Leo said glaring at his younger brother. “She needs to be safe.”
“But it’s just Donnie remember? Our brother! We can’t hurt him, and that’s what you two are going to do!” Mikey fought back tears welling in his eyes. As he grabbed the exiting leader, he spun Leo back around. “Leonardo. He’s your little brother, you’re not actually- not going to-” Mikey began trembling releasing the blue masked turtle’s arm. Leo seemed to have a sudden moment of realization as he stepped towards his youngest now trembling brother. Putting a hand on his shoulder, Leo looked Mikey dead in the eyes.
“There is no way we could do that. No way we would- would kill Donnie. He’ll be fine. We just need to contain him. Bring him back to the lair. Talk to him.” Leo said trying to hide his own fear in his voice.
“An-and if nothing works?” I asked looking into Leo’s blue spheres. Only a few seconds of eye contact, though, before he closed them and tears rolled out. He pulled his hand back from Mikey and held them in an awkward position of almost straight up and down in front of his chest. Walking over to him, I look him in the face, even if he can’t see it. Raphael helped him to the couch as he began creating his own tears followed by more from Mikey. Leo seeming to have more problems, I rubbed his tears off as new ones fell. He opened his eyes to see me looking him over.
“If nothing works, th-then it’s up to Splinter. I- I can’t choose the fate of- I can’t harm my brothers. I can’t let them get hurt. I- I can’t-- I won’t hurt him.” Leo stated getting his point across. It didn’t matter what he said, just of what truly did need to be done. Donnie was a danger to us all, even if the issue was diminished to just hazardous to me. Donatello could harm any of us, and he needed stopped, but none of us knew what to do. It became apparent to me in this moment that there were only a few ways to stop Donnie. To stop what his overworked brain has caused. Some of the ways were more dangerous, while some were just self sacrifice to what needs done instead of what you want done. Some were the wrong answer. Yet, some could be right. First though, we needed to find him.
Hours passed as we searched the city relentlessly. He had to be here somewhere. As daylight began to break and we all were falling more and more victims of exhaustion, as the three brothers still searched and searched unimpededly, I felt as though I couldn’t move as easily or quickly. Leo, of course was the first to notice. Also of course, he pointed it out.
“A-Are you okay. Do you need a break?” Leonardo asked voice half filled with sympathy and the rest filled with annoyance. He was getting the hit of fatigue as I was, but he was less taken over by it.
“I think, I think I’ll be fin-, no, no, I do need a- a break.” I answered honestly, breathing heavily from the moving as I plopped down. I leaned against the smokestack behind me, after a few seconds Leo closed his eyes and sighed. The other two terrapins nodded and stated their agreement to a break, though, before they could sit, the leader spoke.
“Not here guys. If we are all going to relax and be off guard, we do it safely.” Leo being Leo... Trudging my way across the next few blocks with the remaining turtles, I was the first to spot the manhole just a few yards below. Making our way down the side of the building, Raphael lifted the manhole cover sliding it to the side allowing Mikey to jump in before himself. Leonardo put his arms out towards the entrance signaling for me to follow. Once I did, Leo himself clambered down the ladder once the lid was put back in place. The weariness began to show in all of us as we weren’t as alert as usual. We were more so leaning against each other for support to continue the never ending journey.
Rubbing my eyes, I stumbled to the right having Leo there to help steady me out. I looked up at him with my eyes only partially open. He smiled, but the small gesture became a smirk as he strung an arm around my shoulders laughing causing us both to stumble as I lost my balance. We both laughed, but I could almost hear Raph roll his eyes. I pushed Leo back over to his side of the makeshift walkway when we heard something. Someone, yelling?
“Well, of course!” The voice yelled three times as the three ninjas were once again on alert.
“Did someone follow us?” I asked as I realized the turtles were all surrounded around me. I put my hand lightly on Michelangelo’s shell as I tried to look past the turtles and see what was going on.
“Yes, we weren’t watching. Donnie. That’s his voice. Right? Guys, right?” Leonardo asked regripping his weapon. The others looked towards Leo with eyes of shock as they shrugged.
“I don’t know. It’s echo-y and-” Mikey responded to his brother’s query. A clanging of something, like a can maybe, became louder and louder from down the nearest tunnel. Dramatically stepping into the lit area, we found the voice had come from Donatello.
“Well, of course. Guys, of course I will fix that for you. Of course I will help you lift that. Of course I’ll do the dishes for you. Of course I’ll listen to your problems. Of course you’ll tease me. Of course you’ll be there to diminish all the things I say and all the things I do. Of course I never have a chance with the girl. Of course I’m the nerd. Of course this sounds familiar. The more and more I’ve been there for you, the more you think it’s okay to ridicule and make fun. No more. I’m done.” Donnie yelled to each of the turtles making his words seem as though he had prepared this speech a dozen times in his head. Perhaps he had. Perhaps not. Leo put one sword back in its sheath as he reached his now free hand out to his brother.
“Donnie, we, I didn’t know you felt like that, I-” Leo tried to reach the Donnie he once was.
“Of course you didn’t. Why would you? Why would I openly share this with you guys knowing it too could end in ridicule. Ridiculed for despising the ridicule. Terrific idea.” Donatello explained through much sarcasm. I tightened my grip as I realized it had been within a side groove in Michelangelo’s shell. “Oh, and you!” Donnie began eyeing me along with his pointed finger. The three others were once again tensed for the chance of combat swarming more and more around me in my personal space. “Yeah, I realize you’re not April. I’ve realized how stupid I seemed. How though I was going through a psychological downfall no one asked if I wanted help. I know it now. I know I’m crazy. I know I’ve changed. I’m not the Donatello you grew up with and picked on.”
“D, if I knew it bothered you so much bro, I’d have-” Michelangelo said his voice smothered in nothing but sympathy as he tried not to hang his head.
“So, what are you going to do?” I asked pushing through the shield of turtles to stand facing the genius. Although fear fled through me, I couldn’t see him hurting me. I couldn’t see him hurting any of us. He took a small step towards me with a smirk on his face. As it faded, I was forced into yet another kiss with the unstable genius. He pulled back pushing me off wiping his mouth. “Stop looking for me. I’ve faded and am left with a slight resemblance. I don’t need any of you anymore. So now I say good-bye, and good riddance.” Mikey caught me as I stumbled into him from the shove. Once I was stable again, I looked for the purple masked genius. He was no longer here. Again, he eluded us. Once again we lost Donatello. This time though, Donatello was gone forever.