FicWad

The guys searched for hours but they couldn't find Frank anywhere. He wasn't at the skatepark or shooting range. nor was he at the studio or even the graveyard. They had checked everywhere that they could think of that Frank would hang out. They even went as far as calling the funeral home to see if Frank was there but nothing. Now Cole was starting to worry, Frank wasn't answering his phone. 

"I can't think of anywhere else he could be. We've looked fucking everywhere" Mikey threw his hands up on defeat. He just couldn't think anymore. 

"Well we obviously haven't if we haven't found him yet." Bob mumbled under his breath. 

"Then you come up with something else asshole" Mikeys face was Red, he was angry at the midget for disappearing and just wanted to hug the life outa his friend when they found him and Bobs smart remarks wasn't making him feel better. 

"Look guys stop. There's no need to start fighting with each other. We will find him, we just have to start thinking like Frank." Gerard was trying to defuse the argument between his brother and best friend. The last thing they needed was a full blown argument.

"Don't start patronising me dickhead, if it wasn't for you Frank wouldn't be missing right now." Just as the guys where about to really get into it and shit was going to hit the fan then they all heard something that made them stop. The laugh, the laugh that made every single one of them melt at the sound of it. They all turned around to see Frank doubled over. Hands on his knees laughing his ass off at them. He was laughing so much his sides where starting to hurt. 

"Where the fuck have you been Iero?" Cole stood there glaring at Frank. He had actually started to break a sweat for the prick. 

"Oh you know, playing hide and seek. I've been following you guys around all night. God you're idiots" Frank doubled over again, cackling at the site of his friends running around like mad men trying to find him. 

"So your telling me you've been following us the whole damn time?" Coles face was getting redder by the second. 

"Pretty much" Gerard smirked and Frank winked at him.

"Ima fucking kill you Iero. Gerard had a god damn anxiety attack because of you." 

"I would say I'm flattered but it wouldn't be the first time I've gotten him breathless with minimal effort" Frank knew he should apologise for making them worry for so long, truthfully he hadn't been following all that long. Maybe the past hour or so. He had been with Ray in the studio when they came in but he hid and told Ray not to say anything. Ray had shook his head unimpressed with Franks childish behaviour but agreed none the less and told them he hadn't seen him. That's when Frank started following them. 

"Fucking run Iero." Cole was so angry with Frank that he started to run after him with the true intentions of kicking his ass. Frank took off running down the street he had followed them up. The guys looked at each other and ran after him. 

Frank knew there was no way Cole was going to catch him, Frank might have been short but he was fucking fast. He had to be, and it was all down to him that Gerard was able to run nearly just as fast. When Gerard had decided he was going to join the military he had to do a fitness test for an entry. When he had told Frank, Frank had busted a nut lighting so hard. The thought of Gerard doing any sort of fitness cracked Frank up. Gerard wasn't fit, he had been a for kid and lost all his baby fat high school.. But he still couldn't run. Frank on the other hand could. He was able to out run anyone so Frank trained with Gerard everyday for 8 months until Gerard was accepted into the army.

Frank had ran 3 blocks with Cole close behind him when he suddenly stopped. He could hear Cole shouting behind him, he turned around and watched as Cole got closer to him. The tears where back, he had gotten this far in the day without having another breakdown but he couldn't help it. He was having fun, he was being childish and messing around with his friends and he shouldn't be. He could feel the pain, he was sure the pain in his heart would kill him along with the pain in his ribs from running. He had completely forgotten about his injury at work. He was about to pull up his shirt when he felt Coles body smash into him and knock him clean off his feet, Cole falling on top of him.

"I hate to break it to you buddy but you aren't my type, now get you fat ass off me" Frank puffed out a breath and whimpered in pain. "Cole seriously get off me"

"No way man you deserve an ass whooping for the stunt you just pulled" Cole laughed as Frank struggled for air. He would get up in a minute but for now he was gonna punish Frank for being so childish and making him break a sweat.

"Cole... Gerard get him off me... Please." Tears ran down Franks cheeks as he struggled under the older mans weight, normally he would be able to take the "punishment" but right now his ribs where being crushed and he was sure he had definitely broke something. Gerard, along with Mikey and Bob was cracking up at the sight. Frank had gone down like a bowling pin, his arms flying around in the air. Gerard made no attempt to help Frank until he heard a sound he did not like, his heart started to beat faster, his anger starting to grow rapidly. Frank was choking, he couldn't breath anymore. Gerard grabbed Cole by the shirt and yanked him off Frank in one swift motion that caused Cole so whimper. He threw Cole onto the ground away from Frank while the youngster rolled onto his side, his tiny arms wrapping protectively around his torso.

"Gerard stop, don't hurt him." Mikey jumped between the two trying to stop his brother from making a huge mistake. "He didn't mean to, he would never hurt Frank you know that. Franks ok now. Just calm Dow.." Mikey was cut off by Bob voice.

"No he's not." All three looked around to see Bob hunched down beside Frank who was gasping for air. "He can't breath, what do I do?"

Gerard moved quickly over to Frank, sitting down beside him and lifting him gently onto his lap With his back against his chest.

"Slowly Frank. You need to breath slowly." Frank nodded his head, taking a few small breaths tying to get control of his Lungs. He was starting to breath better, it didn't hurt as much anymore. Cole kneeled down in front of Frank, tears in his eyes.

"I am so sorry Frankie, I didn't mean to hurt you." Frank nodded his head that he understood, Gerard all but growled at Cole. His protectiveness towards Frank still in full swing. Once Frank was able to breath properly again he healed out his hand to Cole, who helped him stand up. Gerard was up in seconds,hands on Franks hips to steady him.

"It's ok Cole, it wasn't your fault. I got hurt in work the other night, it wasn't you." Frank hugged him just for some extra reassurance. He turned to Gerard a smirk on his face:

"And you... You need to stop going into Godzilla mode every time I get hurt. But thank you" he leaned in and pecked Gerard on his lips lightly. He turned around to face his Friends.

"So did you leave me any food?" Bob chuckled and shook his head.

"No, Mikey inhaled it the second he got there" Mikey punched Bob in the arm making everyone laugh.

"Fuck off"

While they had a little spatter about who ate what food, Gerard turned Frank around gently, a small smile on his face and lifted Franks shirt.

"Jesus Frank" Gerard reached his hand out and gently ran the tips over Franks tender ribs. Frank flinched at the touch but didn't move away. The look in Gerard's eyes had Frank mesmerised. The love and concern he could see made his heart skip a beat. They could never hide anything from each other, they could always see through the wall they put in place to hide themselves. It was only on a very rare occasion one could hide something from the other but in the end the walls became transparent to the other. They where soul mates. Two people who where truly meant for the other. "How the fuck dos you manage that? And why the fuck didn't I notice it"

Frank chuckled at Gerard's dramatic out cries. "I distracted you pretty well and I was working one to one with Tony and he had some behavioural issues. It's nothing so stop panicking and being so dramatic"

Gerard frowned at the younger man standing in front of him. How could he be so calm about this, he was black and blue from his armpit down to his waist. "Don't tell me not to panic. Some fucking psycho beats the shit out of you and thinks it's perfectly OK because he has some sort of fucking disability? He could have done serious damage Frank."

"Is that how you saw Jason? A psycho with some disability? He has Down syndrome, JUST like Jason." Franks jaws clenched as he bore into Gerard's eye.

"Of course not... I" Frank shook his head, he had heard enough bullshit.

"Fuck you Gerard" Frank turned around and made his way back to his house. Gerard's words ran through Franks mind. Tony and Jason where very similar. They had the same disability which lead to behavioural issues. Tony couldn't help it and neither could Jason when he was alive. Tears of anger ran down his cheeks. He knew Gerard didn't meant anything by what he said but that didn't mean they didn't hurt and less. Sometimes he wondered was Jason the reason himself and Gerard didn't work out, the thought had crossed his mind several times in the past but now it seemed more likely than any other excuse he could come up with in his mind.

Once he was home he went up to Jason's room. He knocked on the door 4 times, then 2, then 6 more times. Jason's secret knock. He chuckled to himself as he walked into his big brothers room. Jason was a year older than Frank and he had never let him forget it. The room was just how Jason left it, everything has its place, nothing was untouched. It had been a while since he had been in there but he just needed to feel him around again. He stood in the middle of the room, he had always felt weird about being in there without Jason. Jason had been very private and his room was his space and never liked anyone in there unless he said so. Frank started to cry a little as he crawled on top of the bed. He could still smell Jason even though he knew it was impossible. He lay down on top of the covers not wanting to mess up the sheets. He heard someone knock on the door just like he had and the door opened slowly. He felt the bed shift under the weight of his grandmother as she climbed in behind him, wrapping warm protective arms around her grandson.

"Grandma, why? Why my family? Why am I left on my own?" Frank started to cry, he felt so much pain his body couldn't handle it.

"Oh baby... My sweet boy I don't know"

They lay like that for a few hours, both crying for similar yet different reasons. Frank cried for his brother and his mom, he cried for the love they shared and the pain he felt from loosing that love. Kathleen cried for the boy who had lost so much so quickly. She too felt pain, pain from loosing her daughter and pain for the fear of losing her grandson. She had never been so scared before in her. She lay with the weeping boy until he fell into a dreamless sleep. She slowly untangled her limbs from the sleeping boy and crept out of the room. Just as she closed the door gently behind her she saw Gerard coming out of Franks room with panic evident on his face. She smiled at the boy who owned Franks heart. She knew how much her grandson loves Gerard, she just didn't understand why they weren't together.

"He's in Jason's room asleep, he's safe." Kathleen smiled for the second time, this time at the relief that invaded the young mans features.

"May I go in ma'am? Just for a few minutes" Gerard was nervous, he needed to see Frank was really there for himself and he really needed to fix what ever damage his stupid comment had done to the boy.

"Gerard you don't need my permission. Stay as long as you want." She hugged Gerard and went quietly down stairs to talk with her husband.

Gerard took a deep break and knocked on the door, slowly opening the door to Jason's room. When he walked in he swore he could see Jason standing by the bed smiling. In seconds the image in his mind was gone. He walked slowly over to Frank and climbed in behind him. He wrapped his arms around his waist. He was so in love with the boy he hurt.

"Was Jason the reason why you didn't want to be with me?" Franks voiced rang through the room. The question hit Gerard hard, he never expected it nor did he think Franks mind would conger up such a ridiculous reason. Gerard pulled Frank into his back a little roughly.

"Absolutely not, don't you ever think or say such a thing like that again." He realised his was being a little harsh considering the state the boys mind was in but he needed him to know Jesus was never the reason. He loved Jason like a brother.

"So you just didn't love me then?" Gerard could here the heartbreak and fear in Franks voice. He needed to be very carful with his words. Could he really tell Frank the reason why it had ended? He wasn't really sure.

"No that wasn't the reason. It was quite the opposite to be honest. Look Frank" Gerard sighed, he had to tell him the truth. Frank needed to know. "You know from the moment I met you I couldn't stay away, even before anything happened between us. That hasn't changed and it will never change. You are ... I love you Frank, I always have and I always will. The reason I ended things was because of the army. Not because I loved the army more than you or because you where distracting me or anything like that. But because there's no such thing as a "gay solider". You don't know the things they do to guys like me. I've witnessed some awful shit, just because one guy was gay. I ended things because I was scared of what they would do if they ever found out. I wasn't scared for myself, yes it's fucking awful and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy but i was terrified for you. For what would happened to you of anything happened to me. You would blame yourself I know you would. You would destroy yourself from guilt, I couldn't live with that. I needed you safe. Even if that meant the safest place for you was away from me. I know you might not understand. But I need you to trust me."

"Ok" was all Frank said. He could of faith about it, told Gerard it was stupid but he didn't see the point. Gerard told him the truth. That was good enough for him. "I'm not ready for a relationship, I'm not asking for one. The only thing I will ask is that you are here. Just here. That's all."

"Always Frank"