(#) Roaming_Fool 2006-08-20I enjoyed this story, and may I add, I appreciated that the sex was more "fade to black" than explicit. It's rare to find an author that will write sex and be more interested in the effects on the two people rather than the physical act of inserting Tab A into Slot B.
And another big thank you for not having "true wuv conquer all!" once they slept together!
I saw a few things that I might have done differently, but overall, nice job!
Author's responseI hear ya, about the "Tab A/Slot B" stuff. I enjoy a story like that OCCASIONALLY, but 99% of the time the mechanics of the act become the apparent point of the narrative, and it gets boring after a while. If the explicit stories would cut those scenes down even by 50%, the whole story would improve, most of the time.
I'd be interested in hearing what things you might have done differently. :-) I like to think I'm a craftsperson, and after reading your stories and enjoying them so much, I think you're very good at crafting your ideas too.
(#) annadb8goddess 2006-12-20This is actually one of the first Fanfics I've read on this site and one I constantly revisit. I think you did a wonderful job at it. Though I think when they talk about Riza's injury their both a little out of character and the fact that the injury isn't mentioned the rest of the story. But if You think I'm wrong don't touch it. I'm still pretty new at this.
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