FicWad

~Benji's POV~
"Daddy?"
I looked up from the lumpy bed I was dressing for myself. Sim was standing in the doorway, watching me curiously.
"Hey bud," I managed a meek smile and sat down on the mattress, patting the space next to me. He came running and I helped him onto the bed.
"Who's coming?"
I looked at him in confusion, and then I understood. I was making up the guest bed and he wanted to know why. "No one's coming kiddo. Daddy's gonna be sleeping down here for a little while."
"Why?"
Shit, I thought to myself, how the hell am I supposed to explain this to him? "Go ask Momma, she'll tell you." Ah, the old standby and ever my savior.
"Is Momma angry at you?" he asked innocently. The kid's brain scared the hell out of me. Cuz I was dumb as fuck, even Sophie couldn't figure things like this out at age five, and Joel wasn't the brightest crayon in the box at times. Ha, the way I talk about Joel like he's a third parent to my kids. No wait, he was.
"Sim?" Joel himself called coming down the stairs to the basement.
"Hi Unkie Joel." Sim said cheerfully, Joel smiled a little.
"Hey man, can you do me a favor?"
Sim nodded.
"I really wanna watch Ice Age with Tally and Zeke, but I can't find it! Can you look for me?"
"Ookie! Bye Daddy!" he hopped off the bed after kissing my cheek and ran upstairs.
I pulled my knees to my chest and leaned my chin on them. "My son's an amazing kid." I said throatily to Joel who sat down next to me. "All my kids are." Then, for the first time ever in my life, I cried.
Joel pulled me into a hug and I sobbed onto his shoulder. My whole life was coming down in pieces, and it was all my fault. I promised Sim that I wasn't gonna leave, I was so stupid. I made my son a promise I'm not sure I'll be able to keep. If this divorce happens, it'll rip the boy's heart to shreds. I was the shittiest dad in the world. Two years I ignored my family, two years. Maybe I didn't deserve them, that's why this was happening. But if I didn't deserve them, why had God given them to me? To tease? To say 'Look Benj, see what an amazing family you have? Well guess what, you don't have em anymore!'
I haven't even sinned, not since I lost my virginity to Sophie, before wedlock. I mean, I'm no saint, but I'm talking big stuff. But instead of punishment for that, God sent us a beautiful blessing. He sent us Tayala, my stunning little daughter. Is this my punishment then? I sinned and benefited just to suffer 7 years later? That sucked. Sophie taught me that everything happens for the best. But this couldn't be for the best, could it?
And Sophie... God, I loved her so much, it hurt just thinking about it. I must have hurt her so bad. And the worst part was, she still loved me. Maybe I really was a bad person; maybe I deserved everything that was happening.
"Daddy?" Tayala's angelic voice floated through my ears.
But why did it have to hurt so god damn much?
"Yeah precious." I wiped my face and smiled at my daughter.
"Daddy why are you crying?" she frowned coming over and hugging me. "Don't cry, I love you."
"I love you so much Tally-Bear." I said hugging her as tight as I could without hurting her. "I really do, don't ever forget that sweetie, ok? I know I was a bad daddy for a while, but I promise no matter what happens, I'm gonna try to be the best daddy in the world from now on."
"You are the best daddy." She said looking at me with those beautiful green eyes and playing with my black hair. "You were just tired. But you know what I tld Nina?"
"What?" I asked, amused at the fact that my seven year old was comforting me and it was working. Behold the magic of a child's love.
"I told her that my daddy was special and that I was the luckiest to have my daddy."
"You really said that?"
She nodded and kissed my cheek. "I love you daddy, cusp you're my daddy."
"I love you too." I smiled touching her perfectly pink cheek. "Cuz you're my baby girl and nothing will ever change that."
She nodded. "Now come watch Ice Age with us. And Uncle Joely, you're a bad boy for hiding the movie in the play pen."
"Sorry." He said sheepishly.
I laughed and wiped my nose.
"Come Daddy." Tayala said taking my hand and leading me to the playroom. "Joely, come!"
I sat with Joel on the couch while the kids fought over who gets to sit on my lap.
"What, no one wants to sit on my lap?" Joel pouted.
"Fine, I will." Sim sighed reluctantly.
"Gee, thanks for the favor kid." Joel snorted and I laughed. Zeke snuggled up in my arms and Tayala in my chest with my Zekeless arm around her.
"Daddy," Zeke said looking up at me.
"Yeah munchkin."
"What's this?" he asked picking at my lip rings.
"They're like ear rings, only on Daddy's mouth." Tayala explained.
"I want!" he whined.
"Maybe in a few years." I told him.
"Ookie." he said turning to watch the movie.


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