Categories > Games > Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic > The Final Song


by Cydel 1 review

No chapter summery. Too many spoilers

Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic - Rating: R - Genres: Humor,Parody - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2016-02-24 - 1831 words

We took off, Petra in the cockpit, and everyone else seated in the main room. Dasi'l was strapped into the seat next to me and he was babbling about old feuds and rotten food. I had to fight the urge to stare at him, covert looks would have to do. Even drunk out of his mind, his roguish grin never left his face. His nose was kinked near the top probably broken in some fight. His eyes... I got lost in those for a moment to long. "Eh? wha'choo lookin' at"? 'Shit, shit, shit, shit'. " I-II uh, well um". The ship pitched to the left violently and shuddered. "Petra!! What're ya doin' up there! We need to be in one piece to deliver tha cargo"! 'Thank heavens for that mini ball of hormones. " Shut up ya drunken tail head! I'm tryin' to fly here"! "Ats captain drunken tail head ta you"! "You shut up or I will turn this starship around land us back with the mistys. With that, Dasi'l went back to mumbling. Petra announced we were clear of the wrench field, so we could walk about. The captain fumbled with his straps as everyone else walked off to do their own business. I stayed back to help him out of his seat. "Thanks fer that Thals... could ya help me get ta my room? Ah' can' walks righ". "Alright, alright, lets get you to bed". We stumbled across the great room to his door. A moment later, he stumbled in alone, thanked me and closed the door. 'damn it'.

For the first night in the last three, Petra left me alone. Joeci and her might be an item on the ship, but Joeci runs out of steam faster than the tiny pilot, and she likes to go till shes done. Tonight however, Petra was out like a light.

The lights couldn't come back on soon enough. Force users, more often than not, are plagued by nightmares that are made worse by the fact that they shouldn't be ignored or forgotten, because once and awhile they turned out to have a reason.

I was standing, watching my master and the captain face off in a misty clearing. Her pink scarf hung loosely around her neck and a demonic, smile stretched her face into a grotesque mask of gleeful rage. Dasi'l held his blaster in one hand and a vibro-knife in the other.

"Thalia, my dear apprentice, you seem to have found yourself a very handsome man, be it rougedly so. I think he's a good, but not worth giving up a future in the sith empire for. That IS what you are doing by the way, throwing away your life".

"Thalia! What in the name of a huts uncle is goin' on, where's my ship and who the heck is that"!

" D-dasi'l, calm down, its j-just a dream. She can't hurt you... can you"?

"I could, but I'm looking forward to meeting him myself but that's not why I went to the trouble of commandeering your dreams tonight. since you seem to be preoccupied by your ah, business. Oh and by the way, Dasi'l. Trust your feelings, it won't be hard to get her pants off".


"Oh Thalia, there's no point beating around the bush, life is to short".

"That's still no reason for you to t-tell him"!

"Wait? So's that true then"?


Lord Tytho stepped forward,"Ok, now lets calm down, I called you hear to brief you on your first mission, I do not want you to come to Dromund Kaas. Some of my underlings have planned a coup. They've killed multiple apprentices of mine already. I need you to travel to Felucia to eliminate their leader".

"I don't know if that will be p-pp-possible master, we're on a direct rout to D-dromund Kaas right now".

Dasi'l sheathed his vibroblade and blaster. "We will be passing Felucia on the way, and we need to check on what ever hit us on the way out from Umbara. Felucia isn't ideal, but we could probably do the repairs there".

'Shut up Dasi'l...' I sighed, "Fine... w-what can you tell me about my target and what does he, or she or it know ab-bout me"?

She leaned toward me, that horrible grin stretched her lips over her teeth again. "I'm glad to see that you've come around. He's a Gen'Dai, I doubt you've heard of them, the empire wiped most of their species out to take control of their home planet, which by no means was an easy task. Their race is known for being nearly immortal. You'll have to completely destroy every last piece of him and quickly too, they regenerate entire limbs at a moments notice. As for what he knows of you... besides me and that boy you killed, no one knows that you're alive, by the way, you're next task after this is to find a replacement for him".

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the shocked expression on Dasi'l's face. 'Crap, now I have to deal with that'.

"Is h-he at least near the spaceport or d-do I have to hunt through the jungle for him"?

"Hmm, seems we're out of time, ta ta for now my apprentice".

The dream began to fade out and I woke up to the sound of blaring alarms and a little face with kaleidoscope eyes, shouting "Thalia wake up"! We're being boarded"! In a flash I was back in my tattered old robes and boots half strapped on, tumbling out of the women's quarters.

Dasi'l was standing in his boxers with a blaster in each hand, Farin carried a heavy repeating blaster and Joeci ran out behind me leveling her scatter gun at my head.

Without thinking, I ducked and saw a hail of plasma fly overhead. I heard Dasi'l run over and tackle Joeci before she could shoot again.

"What the heck are ya doin' Joeci? Thalia's on our side"!

"Like hell she is! She probably called those damn Imps on us"!

"No... I don't know how to explain it, but just NO and I dont want to hear anything more about it".

Joeci was about to reply when the holoterminal clicked on with the image of an Imperial officer. "This is Moff Lazrous of the imperial fleet, your vessel has been selected for a search. Lay down your weapons or be fired on".

I stepped closer to the terminal and lowered my hood. "Hello Moff, t-this is Thalia, apprentice and ambassador of Lord Tytho. I'd like to inquire on who's auth-thority you would be able to search M-MY ship"! At this, the officer paled, "My apologies ma' am, I was not aware of this, we were under the impression that this ship belonged to a pirate by the name of Dasi'l the typhoon".

"It does, the ambassador just presumes to much". Dasi'l stood and winked at me from the corner of his eye. Still in his underpants, he greeted the Moff. "So, ya spent yer time huntin' me down, what do ya want"?

Moff Lazrous clasped his hands behind his back, "We intend to seek your assistance in neutralizing a...". "Another listening station"?

"No, this time it is more complicated than that. The target is a Republic Fighter Factory in orbit around Mossak. Imperial forces can't be seen near it while the treaty stands, that is why we sought you out". Dasi'l paced the deck, "What kind of pay are we talking"? "For the complete destruction of the facility, we are prepared to pay you ten thousand credits". Dasi'l leaned against the wall, rubbing his temples with his hands. "Whats the catch"? The Moff grinned at this "You need to board the station and steal any plans, prototypes or blueprints you can find before they call for help, then destroy them". Dasi'l stalked over to the terminal, "This ain't just any old orbital factory is it"? "No, it is the factory that the republic chose to innovate technology for their new fleet, and the Empire could benefit from their works greatly".

" I want double. Plus damages".

"Fifteen thousand, plus damages and the equipment that we are prepared to outfit your ship with for this task".

"Lets see what you got for me then". Dasi'l shut down the terminal, "Thalia, your with me, Farin, go make sure Petra is well hidden, Joeci make sure they don't mess up my ship". We went down the loading bay and Dasi'l punched in the unlock code.

Crisp, cold air flowed into the ship from the imperial hanger, raising goose on Dasi'l's arms, chest and legs. We walked down the ramp onto the hanger floor where an entire brigade of Imperial troopers stood at attention as the Moff approached. Seeing him in his uniform and the captain in nothing but his boxers made it hard for me to keep a straight face. A group of engineers followed closely behind the him pushing carts loaded with odds and ends that I could only guess the purpose for. Dasi'l stuck his blasters in the elastic cord in his underpants, making him look even more out of place then strode down toward the carts, inspecting each part. I couldn't really make out what he said about them, but he seemed pretty satisfied.

I looked back where the Moff had been, realizing he had vanished. "Might I ask why someone of your position would associate with such rabble"? The inquiring voice startled me causing me to jump. 'how did he get so close to me'?! "N-no you may not Lazrous, that is strictly sith business, now if you would be so kind as to see y-yourself back to your dealings with the captain, it would be appreciated. The Moff took a step forward, "You sounded quite unsure of your self before 'ma' am', so I had one of my lieutenants check your file. You died on Korriban weeks ago, can you explain this"?

The fact that my face was still blushed crimson from seeing the captain's trousers, they had Ewoks on them... so cute by the way, wasn't helping ease his suspicions. I grabbed the hilt of Laatste lied and thrust it out of my robes before releasing the blade. stepped towards the Moff so we were face to face...or face to lower chest. I grabbed his shoulder and pulled his face down to me, this took a considerable amount of force. "I am dead, you saw no sith here and you will destroy any record of me being here". I could feel the terror emanating from him and it was mirrored in his eyes. "You are dead, I saw no sith here and I will destroy any record of you being here".

After I extinguished my lightsaber, the Moff quickly walked off back to a very alert Twi'lek in boxers. Joeci oversaw the attachment of the new parts and we were off again.

Next stop, Mossak
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