Categories > Celebrities > Good Charlotte > Blessing or Burden (joel & Benji Madden plus others)

pt 30 Call Off The Search

by Reign_Madden 2 reviews

please r&r

Category: Good Charlotte - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Published: 2006-08-31 - Updated: 2006-08-31 - 3000 words

0Unrated
New Jersey
Normal p.o.v

You drop the crutches to the floor and sit down accepting the letter from Ray.
'It must be from your boyfriend' he says sitting on the edge of the armchair next to Gerard.
'It can't be they don't know I'm here' you reply turning the letter over in your hand.
'Maybe it's from the nurse at the hospital she seemed really nice, maybe she's checking up on you.' Gerard answers.
'Well open it then the suspense is making me edgy' Frankie says rocking back and forth on the floor.
You tear the edge of the letter slightly you can't believe the way your hands are shaking. You don't know why you're so nervous. You take a deep breath and tear the envelope open, pulling the letter out. You unfold the letter and start to read.

Annapolis
Benji's p.o.v

'Where did you get these from?' I ask Billy accepting the envelope with my name on it.
'I just found it in the hallway, we were so anxious to get in here we trod all over them' Billy responds handed Joel his letter.
'Those have to be from Reign' Paul says 'She's writing to let us know that she got caught up and will be home soon or that we need to come and get her' he finishes smiling.
I was smiling too; I knew that she'd get hold of us eventually. I ripped open the letter and Joel followed suit. I sat next to him as we both read our letters.


New Jersey
Normal p.o.v

To Reign,
I'm sorry this took so long to reach you it's just that we had to track you down first. I called the hospitals to find you when you didn't come home. About your accident, it couldn't have come at a better time. There's never a good time to deliver bad news so I'll just say it. I've wanted to break up with you for a couple of months now but I've been so busy building my career that I decided it would be easier to keep you around then to deal with the drama of a break up.
I know this will hurt you and may come as a shock, but I never did love you. I know I said it on many occasions but those were just words that I used to get what I wanted. I did like having you around though, you cooked, cleaned and the sex was there whenever I wanted it, but other then that we both know you're not good enough for me.
I want you to know the truth about our relationship. The only reason I took you to prom was so I could have you. I know we didn't do anything that night so I kept you around till you put out, I was going to dump you after but then I found out about the cash your mom left you and that changed my mind instantly. (It was Joel's idea to use you for the apartment)
I know I should be saying this to you in person but I can't deal with the crying and the sobbing and there's no doubt in my mind that your crying now as you read this.
Thanks for everything; it was fun while it lasted.
Goodbye.
Benji and the others

You scan the letter again; tears are spilling from your eyes. You quickly turn the letter over hoping that there'd be another letter on the back telling you that it was a joke and he still loved you.
You can't believe what you've read; you feel light headed and sick to your stomach.
'Reign what's wrong? What does the letter say?' Gerard asks his face was full of apprehension.
You don't answer him you just sit there with the tears falling from your eyes thinking about all the stuff that you had been through with them.
'Please answer me, what does the letter say?' Gerard pleads.
You hand him the letter feeling numb inside, you're not even thinking anymore your mind is blank; the room is silent as Gerard reads the letter aloud.
'Reign I don't know what to say' he says putting his hand on your shoulder once he finished reading.
'Don't' you say shrugging him off. You can see the hurt on his face but you don't care, it's not even half of what you're feeling.
'Fucking assholes' Frankie mutters under his breath.
'Reign we're so sorry...' Ray says
'Did you write it?' you ask cutting him off.
'What? No I didn't' he replies slightly alarmed.
'Then what the fuck are you sorry for.' You cry feeling the anger and hurt pumping through your veins.
'You know what's funny' you say standing up and wiping your cheeks '10 minutes ago you guys were asking me to stay here and then all of a sudden this letter shows up out of the blue.'
'Hold up a sec you think we typed that letter?' Mikey asks looking at you in disbelief.
'I don't know but I wouldn't out it past you' you say glaring at him.
'That's enough Reign that's bullshit and you know it' Gerard says standing up. 'We would never do anything like that, I'll admit that we'd like it if you stay with us but we'd never write those things, ever.' He says angrily.
You stand there frozen to the spot, you watch Gerard light a cigarette and take a long drag you've never seen him angry before and it kind of scares you. You recover and hobble over to the door but Frankie gets up blocking your way.
'Where are you going Zero?' he asks
'I'm leaving I have to go home and see Benji' you say.
'You can't leave now, how far would you get?' He says holding onto your arms.
'I don't care, you don't understand I have to see him, this is a mistake I know he loves me' you reply trying to wiggle out of his grip.
'Calm down ok your not thinking straight' he retorts holding you tighter.
'Please I have to go.' You beg 'I have to get him back, I love him' you cry surrendering under Frankie's grip and leaning into his arms.
'Shh it's okay Zero, it's gonna be all right' he soothes. He leads you back to the couch and wraps his arms around you.
'Here Reign drink this' you look up at Bob and he hands you a small glass.
'What is it?' you so.
'Just down it okay, trust me you'll feel better.' He says nodding his head encouragingly.
You down the drink and cough as the liquid burns your throat and chest.
'That's a good girl' he says stroking your head and taking the glass.

Annapolis
Benji's p.o.v

To Benji
By now you've sussed it out. I've left you and I'm not coming back.
I know this will hurts but I feel it's time for me to move on.
I was going to stay with you on your road to fame but lets be honest you guys won't really get that far with your music. Plus you sicken me too much.
Living with you and the others was like having four sons instead of four roommates, your all so fucking needy and clingy no wonder your Dad did a runner.
I do regret using all that cash to help you with your career though, but that's water under the bridge now, I mean you were dirt poor what kind of person would I be if I didn't help you?
I'm won't apologise for leading you on, that's just the way I am, after all look at my back ground and my mother, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Feel free to put my stuff in the trash, most of its meaningless junk that you gave me anyway.
Love you lots (you wish) Reign xx

I read the letter through a second time trying to figure out if it was a sick joke. I looked over at Joel, no doubt he was reading his again and thinking the same thing.

Joel's p.ov

Flashback "98 Joel's Room

'I love you Joel' Reign said resting her head on my chest. We were in my room watching Train Spotting for the hundredth time. Benji, Billy and Paul were in Josh's room playing the Play Station.
'You what?' I said
'I love you' she replied not moving. I didn't say anything I just stared at the movie playing on the TV screen. Why did she have to go and say that? How was I supposed to tell her that I didn't feel the same?
'Reign we need to talk' I said pausing the film.
'What's the matter?' she asked sitting up.
'Ok don't get mad but I have to say this. I'm sorry if I've lead you on Reign, but I don't feel that way about you.' I said sympathetically.
'Joel what are you...' she started
'Wait let me finish, you are my best friend in the whole world and I don't think we should jeopardise what we have...' I was silenced by Reign's hand across my mouth.
'You really are something else.' She said smiling and removing her hand.
'What do you mean?' I asked.
'Joel I said I love you, I didn't say I was IN love with you. You are my best friend in the whole wide world and I just realised that I've never told you that I love you. So I was just letting you know.' She finished resuming the position and resting her head on my chest.
'I knew that' I said slightly embarrassed. 'I was just making sure you knew'
'What ever Sick Boy' she replied I could tell she was smiling.
'It's true, I was making sure you knew that you loved me and weren't in love with me' I said quickly.
'Sure you were' she said patronisingly.
'You know what kiss my ass Reign Mercer.' I said messing up her hair.
'Quit it' she said slapping my stomach 'just play the movie.'
I settled back on the bed and put my arm across her shoulders and played the film. I wasn't really watching it; I was just enjoying the moment, I felt genuinely happy for once.
'I love you Reign' I said. 'But I'm not in love with you.'
'That's good enough for me' she replied smiling up at me.

Present time

Hey Joel-Moley (I know you love that)
I know you're not a stupid as your brother and you worked out that I was gone before you got this letter.
I wanted to write to you personally because I know you thought we were "close".
I hated listening to you whine on about how your Dad left, but can you honestly blame the guy. My mum left me too but you don't hear me bitching about it.
I know you confided a lot of things in me Joel and your secrets are safe with me, to be honest I've forgotten most of the things you've said anyway.
I know I've said a lot of things to you over the years but most of them I didn't mean I only said them because I knew that was what you wanted to hear.
As for Billy and Paul don't get me started what a waste of time and space they are.
I did like being with you sometimes especially when you were with Kara, I loved winding her up and then have you defend me. I got such a kick out of your reactions. If I were you Joel I'd be more guarded from now on. After all Kara might up and leave you too, you seem to have that effect on people.
Try not to miss me.

Reign xx


I didn't realise it at the time but I was holding the letter so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. This felt so unreal. I know Billy and Paul were waiting to know what was going on but I couldn't talk. Everything that I'd been through with Reign was flashing through my mind.


Present time
Billy's p.o.v

Paul and I sat quietly waiting to hear what was in the letters. I studied Benji and Joel there faces were really pale and Joel looked like he was going to cry.
'I can't take it, what the fuck do the letters say' Paul demands snatching Joel's letter away.
'She's gone' Benji says simply folding his letter and putting it in his pocket.
'What, that's it?' I ask searching his face for an answer.
'Well what the fuck do you want me to say Billy?' he replies angrily
'I don't know, I don't understand.' I say feeling the tension in the atmosphere.
'We knew it all along, we were just to naïve to believe it' Joel sys. 'I don't get how can she say those things, I mean everything she did and said...'
'I'm so sorry baby' Kara says sitting on Joel's lap and nuzzling his neck. I watched Benji take his letter out of his pocket and handed it to Paul.
'But why?' was all I managed to say, It felt like a limb had been torn from my body. Reign was so good to us, to all of us why would she up and leave. I read Benji's letter over Paul's shoulder. Each word was like a blow to the stomach, it didn't even sound like her. It was like she was possessed.
'You okay Benj?' Joel asks
'No but I will be, it's not the first time someone left us. I'll get over it.' Benji replies standing up and retrieving his letter from Paul.
'You don't have to act tough; I know your hurting bro coz I feel the same way. We can talk about it if you want.'
'No thanks Dr Phil, I'm not wasting another breath on her.' Benji retorts harshly
'She was everything to you, you can't stand there and honestly tell me you're okay' Joel persists.
'Just drop it okay, I don't wanna talk about it anymore.' Benji says
'But Benji I think we should talk...'
'Jesus Christ Joel. What the fuck do you wanna hear? You wanna hear that my heart feels like it's been torn in two. That I feel like I can't breathe, that all those feelings that I felt when dad left have come rushing back. That I wish that she walk through that door right now and tell me that it was all a joke and that she does love me. Or maybe you want to hear that I wished I'd never met her in the first place. Those are all the things that are running through my mind right now.' He says.
It took me a second to realise that I was watching them through blurred eyes. Tears were threatening to fall down my face. I quickly wiped my eyes on the back of my sleeve. I couldn't believe this was happening and it was all Reign's fault. I knew I shouldn't but I was starting to hate her.

Paul's p.o.v

The atmosphere in the living room was sour, Lil' Billy looked like he was going to burst into tears and Joel was already crying, I could see the tears sliding down his cheeks.
A couple of hours before we were on top of the world and now that world had fallen apart all because of one person.
'I really liked her' I sigh slouching down in the couch.
'We all did' Joel answers wiping his eyes.
'I didn't like her from day one' Kara chimes in.
'Shut it Kara' Benji growls from across the room.
'What! I was just saying' she pouts.
I reached over and picked up a box of tissues on the coffee table and threw them at Billy. I guess he couldn't hold back either.
'I need to get some air' Benji says getting up to leave.
'Do you want some company?' I ask. I didn't like the idea of him going out alone.
'Yeah I wouldn't mind it' he replies. He waits while I grabbed my jacket and we both leave closing the door behind us.

New Jersey
Gerard's p.o.v

I just checked on Reign, Bob had taken her to bed two hours ago and I kept checking on her.
I headed down stairs to where the others were scattered about the living room.
'She's sleeping' I inform the others.
'We know Gerard, you been up there four times and each time she's been sleeping' Ray says slightly amused.
'It's just this whole things got me a little nervous, I don't want her to wake up and do something crazy.' I reply lighting a cigarette.
'She's gonna be out for the night, trust me' Bob says
'So what happens now?' Frankie asks
'I don't know man, I'm hoping she'll stay with us but we can't make her, if she wants to go then we can't force her to stay.' I say taking a drag and sighing the smoke out of my lungs.
'I feel so bad, life isn't going well for her right now' Ray says picking up his guitar.
'Trust me she's used to it.' I reply
'What's that supposed to mean?' Mikey enquires
'Nothing...I just...forget what I said' I stammer. I wasn't about to tell them about Reign's past that was her business.
'Do you guys ever get the feeling that we're supposed to know her?' Frankie says before opening another beer.
'What you mean like fate bought us together' Ray asks.
'Well yeah' he shrugs.
'It possible' Ray says strumming the cords to Head First for Halos.
'I hope she stays I always wanted a sister' Gerard admits 'but all I got was Mikey.'
'Shut up Gerard' Mikey says laughing.
'Don't worry about her leaving she'll stay. After all we're all she got now' Frankie says extinguishing his cigarette.
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