FicWad

Xenophilius drank from the shaking glass, as his eyes stared aimlessly over the pages of his latest column. The older man's tired fingers ached from another long day of writing, yet it was better than the emptiness that filled his very being. He rubbed his pale green face with his calloused hands, as he remembered what had become of the Muggle, Grimhilde, who had the gall to be judge and jury. However it was the wraith that held the title of executioner.
Xenophilius' skin returned to its normal shade of pale after he had vanished his mess the memory had made on the floor. He looked upon the article with pride as he removed the parchment from the type writer his late wife had bought him many years ago. He had now finished every article for this month's Quibbler, and again it heavily featured his daughter, and her cursed cause, a cause that he somewhat agreed with, and largely didn't.
He held back none of his views on the matter, only his reasons. His daughter's life was her own, as was his, and he flat out refused to tell another soul anything that could endanger them. He treasured his secrets, it was these secrets that had kept his daughter alive for so long, if she was still alive that is..."
One would say he was a man obsessed, and one would be right. After all, what was he, without his daughter? The body of Pandora remained scarred into his mind and the longer Luna remained missing, the more the images of Pandora and Luna began to merge and it was the latter that lay dead on the cellar floor.
It was during moments like this, that Xenophilius would walk out of his study and to the living room that held all the pictures he had taken of his daughter. Instead, he opened a little scrap book that held the only remaining picture to survive the destruction of his house. At least that house was rebuilt, but you can't rebuild a picture.
Once again, Xenophilius began to cry as he saw how happy his child once was. Playing with his beloved wife in the backyard, helping her mother paint the house...only with food. The way her face lit up when her mother gifted her with her very own scrap book, so Luna could colour pictures in it like she had done as a child. The final surviving picture made his heart ache. The three of them sitting around a Christmas tree, as Luna held an Owl in her arms. Pandora had joked that Luna had once stared at an Owl for too long, and that was why her eyes were often so wide.
Xenophilius remembered the day the poor Owl died when it gave birth to chickens...in hindsight buying an owl from a three eyed Warlock was most unwise. He remembered how the six year old Luna had cried, how Pandora would offer her shoulder to be dampened with tears and then would sing her daughter to sleep. Pandora had told sweet Luna that the dead never truly leave us, and that they are just waiting beyond the veil for us to join them in our own time.
Xenophilius believed the first part.
Despite everything, the memory still brought a smile to his face as he remembered how close the two were, and how much having a daughter had meant to Pandora. It wasn't good enough though, and now Xenophilius sat alone in his study, dreaming of a past that would never come again.
"I should have been there." The old Wizard whispered to himself, the mantra that haunted his existence.
He was shaken from his mourning by a tapping on the door..Xeno's face turned gray as he shuddered. He slowly walked out of his study and down the stairs until he was standing in front of the back door. He raised his wand and waved the door open. He waved it slowly, but not slow enough, as he flinched in fright of the door's sudden movement. When he opened his eyes he realized there was not a soul in sight, nor any sign anyone was ever here, except for the letter that rested on the welcome mat.
After casting a series of detection spells on the note as he checked for curses, Xenophilius bent down and grasped the letter with his long bony hands. He read the letterhead and gasped, his heart beating in his throat. This note was in his daughter's handwriting.
"Luna!" He uttered as he slammed the door shut and ran into his study, casting locking charms and wards around his study. Holding his breath, he opened the letter as carefully as he could, and tensed, as the parchment cracked as it unfolded. Eyes wide, Xenophilius read the first link back to his daughter in months.

Dearest Father,
It has indeed been far too long. It has been longer for me than you, but long, none the less, since I have written to you. When I left for Hogwarts for the first time, I promised you to write every week. I kept that vow, and though there were some letters I was unable to send, I wrote them just the same. I apologize for my tardiness, for I've been gone a long time.
After the horrible mess that was the Hogwarts riot, Harry and I left to a place far away. That is about as much information as I can safely give, but know that despite everything, I am happy.. I miss you though, I think of you every day and I can't bear it. I keep thinking about how worried and lonely you must be.
I saw you today father, or at least I saw you the day I wrote this, as I am not sure when it can be delivered safely. I was with Harry at that horrible woman's "speech." Please take care of yourself father. I don't know where my mission will take me but my heart will always be with you. You are the only family I have left, now that Filius has...
I have spent just about every waking moment with Harry. We lived in this magical place like nothing we had seen before. It felt like we stayed for years or maybe it really was just days. Either way they where the happiest days of my life.
While we lived in this paradise we shared everything. I love him Father, far more than before. Far more than I ever thought possible. The very thought of losing him terrifies me more than I ever thought possible. I've lost so much, but I feel as long as I have him by my side...we can face anything. Is that how it felt with Mum? She once told me that I would find someone who would walk through fire and slay a dragon to reach me. That I would find someone to share my life with. I often wonder if I have found this in Harry.
I could really use your advice right about now. I wish you were here with me, so you could help keep me sane. I've been called Loony for years but...sometimes I think I really am going mad...though it might just be the Nargles.
I have found out so much, but every answer leads to more questions. I know that unless I can solve this very soon, I will be a Squib again. Yet failure feels far worse than that. At first it was the fear of losing my magic, then it was letting the Muggles and Squibs down, but now it feels far worse than that. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Please Be Careful Father. I have a bad feeling something horrible is going to happen, if it hasn't already. Something bigger than the Totalitar or my mission. Something bigger than us all, and it's bad, very bad."
I love you father, I'm sorry I've haven't written, or spoke to you in person for so long. I know you don't agree with what I'm doing. It was wrong of me to cut you out of my life. I find myself understanding your reservations more and more every day. My thoughts are often with my Mother, I spoke with her and she was like an angel. Now though, I have seen things that make me hesitate. I saw you and her fight in her lab...the night she...
I confess I did not hear, or understand it all for that matter. I am certain however that you know who the Earth Mother is. There are so many questions I must ask you, but I know that no answer will be coming by owl. I have to finish my Mother's work, but I can't hope to solve the mysteries of magic when I seem to know nothing of my own Mother.
I have included an enchanted parchment with his letter. If you have an answer for me or just want to leave me kind words, just write them on the sheet of paper. The parchment will ignite in flames within thirty seconds after you've finished writing in it, so I advise you to throw it in the fireplace so nothing of value burns.
Whatever you write, or choose not to write, know that I love you and will always love you...I really miss you...so much.
P.S. I found a Crumple Horned Snorkack! A REAL SNORKACK!
P.P.S. Technically I conjured it into existence but it still counts, Harry says it does, but I know he doesn't think so. It still counts though.
P.P.P.S.. I named her Sunny Muffin.

Xenophilius laughed and cried as he read the letter. He felt his heart swell from the many emotions that waged war in his soul. He mourned his loneliness, he could hardly read on as he read of his daughter's vows. He felt so helpless hearing the cry for help in her words...or at least the request for answers. Yet he felt himself grin like a Cheshire cat when his daughter wrote of her love for the strange boy, despite his mixed emotions for the boy himself. He felt anger burn inside him at very thought of Luna loving this boy...any boy for that matter. Yet he could not help but smile, he knew that his daughter was finally growing up. His daughter was becoming the woman he knew she could be and that was worth any price, even if the price was letting his daughter go, as every loving father must do in his life.
He also felt his face lose what little blood that remained, as his daughter wrote of...Pandora.
"How much did she know." Xenophilius muttered to himself, his voice full of fear. "What has she seen, what has she heard? What does she know?"
The Nargles, he had heard of their appearance at the Hogwarts riot and had nearly fainted from the very mention of the horrid things. He remembered his wife, the woman he had loved, and the madness that consumed her.
Xenophilius Lovegood shuddered before he re-read the letter with a clear mind. He then took the accompanying blank parchment along with his personal quill. He paused as he remembered his daughter's words. He had to be careful what he wrote on the parchment. After a moment though, Xenophilius quickly wrote down the first words that came to his head knowing they were from the heart, Merlin knew when he would get another chance to do this.
Love him child, love him with all your heart.
Don't let anything come between your love, for it is the most precious of magic.
Xenophilius paused as he realized his wrists where shaking. In that moment he considered confessing everything, every secret, every truth, everything that he knew of Pandora, her work, and the one Luna referred to as the earth mother. He had barely begun to write when he paused...and remembered.
Trembling, he rose from his desk and waved his wand at the portrait of Newton Scamander. The wall turned from blue to orange and Mr. Lovegood walked through it with ease. Inside , this hidden room held his most private artifact, Pandora had known of its existence and had even used it under her husband's supervision. Pandora died never knowing where Xenophilius had hidden it, both agreeing that some things should remain private.
It was a Pensive, passed down generation to generation. He twirled his wand in the silver liquid and saw the memory come to life. The vial was still there, as it had always been these past few months. It was not the vial that Xenophilius usually used for this, it was still full of memories...not his memories...but Pandora's.
Xenophilius knew in his heart he shouldn't have done it, but when he had read what Pandora had written on the vial he had no choice. When he had first done it...he only wished to see his daughter after she was nearly killed. Seeing her and the Potter boy, heading back to Hogwarts that very night, was a tremendous relief to the eccentric man, and a knife to the heart, as he realized painfully that he had been replaced. He prayed to the Goddess of magic, that Harry would do a far better job of looking after Luna than her father had done.
The very next day, Xenophilius was alerted by Filius, of the death of two students. One of them was the brat that exposed Luna to the world as a Squib. The other made the attempt on her life.
A day did not go by without Xenophilius attempting to get into the halls of Hogwarts. More often than not he was caught by an auror and sent home. Luna and her company, who avoided the mysterious guards of Hogwarts, remained ignorant of these blunders.
Eventually the temptation was too much to ignore, and Xenophilius entered Harry's private quarters. He searched through his family's research, and was frightened by their progress. Then he found the vial and read the words on it.
"Take with you. Do not use until instructed, Love Mum."
And he remembered.
He remembered the danger Luna had been in for the last few years. The justified paranoia he lived with every day since his child was born. He remembered his daughter staring vacantly from the dinner table. Memories of her daughter's oblivious nature to those who wronged her. Her inability to make friends and Xeno's inability to reach her. He remembered what he had witnessed earlier that day and realized with dawning horror that his daughter had seen the slaughter as well, with her own eyes.
So many memories, so many secrets, so much guilt and so much pain.
Xenophilius suddenly wished he had never gotten the letter at all. In that moment, all he wished for, was to crawl up to his bed and dream of his fractured family, whole, once more. With burning eyes he finished his short message, and without another thought left the room, leaving the parchment to burn. If he was lucky, the blasted letter would set the house on fire.

Across the country, a blond haired, silver eyed girl, read her Fathers message. The first two lines warmed her heart and she felt her tears stain the parchment. Just knowing that she made a connection with her father for the first time in so long, left her overwhelmed with feelings she has mistakenly thought she mastered. Now she was beginning to doubt if such a thing would ever be possible for her...or anyone.
But then another line appeared on the parchment and the warmth in Luna's heart bled away, leaving her cold and shivering.
Let sleeping dogs lie.
Luna looked over to Harry, and smiled to see he was finally asleep. Her smile felt forced though, as Harry's sleep was anything but peaceful. He seemed so lost these past few days. The week at the LLR had been a rough one as Harry relentlessly prepared the LLR for battle, while Hermione worked on ways to pull this off without it coming to that. Luna would offer her input on occasion but spent most of her time preparing for what tomorrow would bring.
Tonight however, Luna could not sleep. She could only let her mind be bombarded with thoughts, as her heart ached, like someone far older and broken than herself.
Luna quietly rose from the bed, making sure not to disturb Harry's restless sleep. Luna let her eyes close and began to meditate, struggling to ignore the pain in her heart. It must have been hours before they came,
"We are here Moon child, what is it that troubles your little heart." Anarhie whispered solemnly though Luna could not help but detect the mischief in his voice. Luna closed her eyes even tighter as she tried to drown out the Nargle's voices.
"Go away..." Luna whimpered.
"The Moon baby wants to cry!" Aναρχία cackled as Luna felt something poke her shoulder.
Luna did not open her eyes as she hissed. "I'm not going to cry."
"Then why close your eyes." Anarchiam uttered as Luna felt another poke, this time on her forehead.
"Open your eyes Luna"
Luna felt her eyes open and beheld the sight of the Nargles. In the great blank white of her mind, the Nargles seemed brighter than a blood red rainbow. They all looked rather amused and somewhat confused, Luna just felt used.
Luna could feel her tears run down her cheek as she whispered. "You're going to take my magic...aren't you?"
The Nargles for once were silent, none of them were smiling. Eventually one of them spoke sadly. "It is a possibility that may very well happen." Anarhie replied honestly. "It most likely will."
Luna backed away from the creatures and reached for her wand, only to remember she didn't have a wand...not anymore. This only made her whimper. "Why?"
"If we told you why, you would lose your magic before you could say arbadacarbA backwards." Aναρχία warned, poking Luna again, this time she slapped his hand away.
Luna cried out "I thought you wanted to help me, not hinder me. I thought...I thought."
"We do want to help you. The children of the wise do not desire magic." Anarchiam stated dismissively. "We only wish to help and guide you."
"Who are you? What do you want? What did you do to my Mother? What are you doing to me?" Luna cried out as she felt anger consume her. One of the Nargles placed a hand on her cheek and Luna felt her eyes close and her anger faded.
"We are not your enemy Moonchild" Aναρχία hummed.
Anarhie, his hand still on Luna's cheek whispered kindly. "We are your friends."
"You are? Luna whispered emotionally as her eyes widened..
"Of course sweet child. We are friends, just as we were to the Moon Mother, many years ago." Anarchiam said with more kindness.
"So much has changed." Anarchiam muttered wistfully. "Yet something's have not at all."
"When the Moon Mother died, we grieved." Anarhie mournfully uttered.
Aναρχία nodded bobbing his head. "We have been lying dormant for many of years..."
"...But we have always been with you, guiding and protecting you." Anarhie continued.
"From those who wish to do you harm." Anarchiam finished.
"What do you mean?" Luna asked with confusion in her eyes.
"Remember what happened to Miss Bullstrode?" Aναρχία cackled with mischief.
Luna was startled by the three Nargles and backed away. "It was you? I thought it...it was an accident."
"They insulted the Moon Mother, and Child. You were too easy to insult, but near impossible to hurt. Then they found a way to hurt you, so they did. They called you mad, and then they called her mad. We did not like it. Not one bit. So we played with them." Aναρχία sung with malice and mirth. "Some we just played pranks on, some we scared, a couple we threatened...in our own way. It did not work, it only seemed to encourage them...we fixed that when the Bulldog girl, Bullstrode, made you cry."
Luna looked at the Nargles confused. "She didn't make me cry."
"She made us cry though, what is the difference between the two." Anarchiam growled. "You could not feel but you could think! You could not sleep but you could dream!" We are your dreams girl, and we made your dreams come true. So we hurt her, we broke her and the fixers had to put her back together again."
"I never wanted that, did not ever want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt anybody." Luna gasped.
"What about Royal, the king without a crown, do you not want to hurt him...or the Earth Mother, who slaughters Muggles in the Ministry of Magic." Aναρχία crooned with a broken voice.
Luna looked away and the Nargles cackled. "Heed these words Moonchild"
The past shall reprise as another shall demise
Only through great sacrifice, shall the world become paradise
Luna closed her ears and started humming to herself. She liked to hum, it left her brain feeling nice and fuzzy. Yet the voice still came through, like water through a crack.
Only through sacrifice shall the gift be given
Only through death shall life be forgiven
"Leave me alone." Luna shouted weakly.
"You knew what you were getting into the moment you heard these prophecies. You heard but did not listen, your ambition blinded you girl."
"I don't want to do this anymore." Luna cried, tears running down her cheeks. "I just want to go home. I just want to see my father again."
"It's too late to stop now. You've gone too far. Things have been set in motion that can't be undone."
"If you were to stop, they would have all died for nothing. Filius, Pandora, Rita, even Corner."
Luna looked defeated as she fell to her knees and buried her face in her small hands. "You are right, of course you're right. We've gone too far...we can't stop now can we?"
"Of course not!" The Nargles giggled like maniacs, waking Luna from her trance. Luna Nargles cackling continued even as Luna tried placing silencing charms throughout the room. Yet their mocking laughs echoed throughout the LLR. Yet only Luna heard them...Luna and the young man, shaking as The Nargles entered his mind. Luna could see it, the way they seemed to turn into air and flow into the cavities of Harry's head, the nostrils ears and mouth.
Luna started shaking him, screaming. "LEAVE HIM ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

"Ginny, listen to me." Harry pleaded.
"No Harry! You listen to me." Ginny shouted. "There are people out there who need you!"
"No, they need the Boy-Who-Lived, Voldemort's bane. They don't want me." Harry spat back.
"YOU ARE THE BOY-WHO-LIVED!" Ginny screamed in frustration.
Harry's green eyes looked black as he glared at the woman he thought he loved. "Ginny…You…of all people."
Ginny refused to back down. "Listen to me Harry. I know how you feel about the fame and notoriety but it's never going to go away. You may wish you were normal but you are not. You are special Harry, everyone can see it, why can't you? Is it so terrible for you to be extraordinary? I love you Harry for everything you are. I love you for what makes you normal and amazing."
"You loved me before you even met me. I remember you at the Hogwarts express yelling, 'Mummy, Mummy can I see him?'" Harry mocked.
Ginny's eyes hardened. "I was ten! I lost family members I will never get to meet because of Tom Riddle. Before I met you, you where my hero because I wouldn't have a mother if it wasn't for you. Since I met you, you saved my life, my brother's life, my father's life. I love you for being my hero, but also for being who you are. Why can't you love yourself? Why can't you accept the fact that you are a Hero now?"
Harry turned away, his voice choked. "If I was a hero, Fred would still be alive. If I was a hero, George would be inventing pranks with his brother. Remus and Tonks would be raising their child. Lavender would still be fawning over Ron. Colin would still be after my picture, while Nigel would be after my Autograph. Dumbledore would be offering students lemon drops, Sirius would be calling me James. Cedric would be with his Father."
Ginny sighed. "Harry, you can't save everyone."
"Because I'm not special," Harry cried. "I'm lucky to be alive. I still see their faces. Every time I look at someone I see their cold dead body in my mind. I'm not the Chosen One anymore. Even if I wanted to be, I just don't have it in me anymore. I'm just Harry now."
Ginny shook her head slowly as she whispered. "The Harry I love would never quit. The person I love would…"
Harry felt gutted as he hissed. "The person you love doesn't exist, do you understand Ginny? Finally! I thought I loved you, but I don't even know you anymore. I thought you loved me."
The pity in Ginny's eyes told more than her words ever could. "Harry, you are the most loving person I have ever met…but you don't know how to love. You don't even love yourself, how could you ever love me."
Harry stormed out of the Burrow with haste, and anger in his heart. He felt cold, out in the summer night, but refused to let his mind wander, focusing on the pain from Ginny's words, and not the pain in her eyes. He could not escape his own thoughts as confusion consumed him. He thought he would die for her, yet he knew in his heart how wrong he was. The more he thought about it, the truth began to sink into his heart and he let out a bitter laugh.
Ever since he had returned to the burrow following Fred Weasley's funeral, he could not escape the thought that Ginny only cared for the Boy Who lived and did not know him at all. It was at this moment that Harry realized he had it wrong. It was true that Ginny saw him as the Boy Who lived, Voldemort's bane and many other stupid titles that hung around his neck. What did Harry see in Ginny, love? No he had seen an image, someone he could love, fight and die for...but did he love her? Harry realized his words were true, he didn't know her...not really. He knew she liked Quidditch, she was a prankster, and she wore her emotions on her sleeve. Harry knew that this wasn't right and he felt the guilt flood his veins as he realized how he had used her, the very way he accused her of using him. It was this that made him laugh.
He knew he couldn't go back, at least not now. He was certain their relationship was over, he alone would not forget the heated, red words that cut him. He would be heading to Hogwarts soon, might as well go there. He thought of his new position as Defense against the Dark Arts Professor and felt his blood begin to rush with excitement. He was thrilled to have a purpose again, he was thrilled to have a normal life again. He was thrilled to be able to say that (at least by Wizarding Standards) Just Harry was absolutely Normal, Thank you very much.
Harry was startled by the sound of laughter, and he turned to see the three horrid faces. Also there were three fingers pointing at him, two fat fingers and one abnormally long and skinny, just like their wretched faces.
"Normal? You are the most abnormal person on this earth!" Uncle Vernon shouted at him, the voice did not belong to his uncle, yet tugged at Harry's memory.
"Liar!" Harry shouted back with venom, as the Dursley's cackled like pixies.
"Yes you are right, there is the Loony girl, a match made in heaven." Dudley spoke with more wit than Harry remembered.
"Leave her alone!" Harry raised his wand at them only to see they had all changed. All of them were a pale green and had blood leaking from their ears. They were completely shaved and their eyes held no life.
"We were right about you Harry Potter." His uncle croaked. "If you were normal we would be alive. If Loony was Normal she would be safe,."
"I am normal!" Harry lied through his anger.
"Then normal you shall be."
Harry saw death appear before them and watched his former family fall to the blade. Harry raised his wand only to see it disintegrate before his eyes. He saw the faces of those long dead. He saw the faces that haunted his nights. He saw their pale lifeless eyes as Death took them from him and he felt utterly helpless to stop it.
"If you weren't special I'd be dead." He saw Ginny cry before she too was taken. Then he saw another figure and his heart stopped beating.
"Freak and Proud." Luna whispered calmly, as Death raised it's blade to take her too.
"NO!" Harry screamed as he sprinted towards her as the scythe came down. Wasn't sure if it hit Luna or himself, for it was at that moment when he felt someone shaking him awake.

"Harry wake up! It's just a nightmare, It's just a nightmare." Luna's voice was full of worry.
Harry didn't think, He just pulled Luna into his arms and kissed her, trying to poor his soul into that kiss. Harry didn't remember starting to cry, he honestly could not remember the last time he cried. At least not like this. He just held onto Luna and cried, a she blew gently into his ear and hummed a haunting melody.
Harry gasped. "I didn't want anyone to die for me, I still see their faces in my dreams. I thought it was over, I thought the deaths would stop. Now my uncle is dead and it's my fault. They were right about me. They were all better off without me. It's my fault..."
Luna shushed him as he rocked back and forth and Harry felt like a babe in her arms. Luna hummed soothingly "If they were better off without you it is because they never got to know and love you like I have."
Harry felt himself calm as he was comforted in Luna's arms. Harry vaguely realized this was the first time in his life he felt anything like this. Someone to hold him as he let go of his grief, guilt and pain, which had become such dominant part of his life. He realized in that moment how much he had come to depend on Luna, how much he loved her. It terrified him.
"Luna..." Harry whispered as he looked up into her eyes. "Luna, promise me something."
Luna's silver eyes met his own as she hummed. "What is it Harry."
"Promise me you won't ever leave me. Promise me you won't...you won't." Harry couldn't finish, the thought was too terrible to think of.
Luna seemed to understand, she kissed the top of his head and sang a lullaby. Harry didn't know the song but soon he felt Luna lower him back to the bed and as she hugged herself against him, Harry vowed to himself, that he would always love Luna and would walk through fire if it kept her safe.
It was only when he was asleep, that Luna allowed herself to cry.