Categories > Anime/Manga > Yu Yu Hakusho > Very Grimm Tales
Three Billy Demons
(gruff? well, not all of them...)
Once upon a time, there were three billy demons of varying (but not correspondingly) age and size. They lived together on a quiet little hill in the demon world, where, thanks to the enthusiasm demons have for butchering each other, there was no problem of overpopulation and the air was much fresher than in the human world.
The peaceful, quiet little hill was very nicely isolated from the rest of the demon world by a wide, raging river (else demons would have no trouble jumping across). The only way across this river was by a rickety old bridge, which was closed for safety reasons. Thus, for a very long time, there was no traffic between the two sides.
The first demon, whose love for peace and quiet was as great as his temper was mild (he had a fuse as short as his height), naturally got tired of his peaceful, quiet life. Especially since he could see a gathering of rowdy demons across the river, just waiting to be killed, with his evil eye. He watched the demons bashing each other into pulp every day, until he could bear it no more, and ripped off the "Danger" sign on the rickety old bridge.
"There, it's not dangerous anymore," he declared, and proceeded to march across the rickety old bridge. Thankfully, he wasn't very heavy, and the bridge held. But as he reached the halfway point, what should leap out from under the bridge to bar his way but the bridge's resident troll? For the bridge was not closed because of rotting timbers (though they were present), but the nasty troll Raizen, who was understandably starving after all that time.
Raizen was quite a sorry sight, his lanky frame gaunt, eyes crazed with hunger and long white hair long unbrushed. He drooled, took a closer look at the first demon, then sighed and moved aside.
"All right, I know, you're too small and scrawny to make a good meal and I should wait for your brother demon to come. Go, go."
The first demon was outraged, of course, but he could also see the host of tempting demons across the river, and decided that he could wait to settle the score. Besides, he was none too fond of his brother demons either. So he crossed the river, and had a field day slaughtering annoying demons.
The second demon didn't have an evil eye, so he couldn't see what was going on the other side, but he could hear what sounded like great fun. He too, was bored, and decided to cross the bridge, against the advice of the eldest demon brother.
As expected, the troll Raizen leapt out to ambush him. "FOOD!!!!!" he roared in triumph as he landed nimbly in front of the nonplussed second demon brother.
The second demon was equally excited by his appearance. "EAT ME!!!" he yelled right back, to the troll's unmitigated shock. "I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT SOMEONE WHO IS WEAK FROM STARVATION!!!!"
"But how are you going to fight me after I've eaten you?" inquired the stunned Raizen. "And you - you're part human! I'm on a strict non-human diet, doctor's orders."
"Oh," said the second demon, feeling sheepish. Or goatish. Or whatever. He was just as confused. "Does that mean I can cross?" Raizen sighed, shrugged, and moved out of his way.
The second demon was delighted to see that there was a battle royal on the other side, and leapt gleefully into the fray. "Spirit-gun!!" Raizen watched the two demon brothers enjoying themselves, and felt very sorry for himself.
The third demon actually did like the peace and quiet, but he was worried about his two younger brothers. So, after some more time had elapsed, he too, decided to cross the bridge.
Raizen was already waiting, tired of having to conceal himself and leap out for nothing. When he saw the third demon, he did a double-take and his jaw dropped. "I thought you were three /brothers/?!"
The third demon's jaw set: he was getting very tired of being mistaken for a girl. Perhaps he should get a haircut someday. "We are three brothers," he told the luckless troll acidly. Then he took a closer look at the troll and frowned. "What have you been eating?"
"Next to nothing," admitted Raizen sadly. "I just don't have any luck with demon prey; it's just too hard to get food now that my doctor banned humans. Too many chemical additives and preservatives, she said."
The third demon nobly refrained from sighing with exasperation. "You mean you eat nothing but meat? What about fruits and vegetables?"
Blankly, the troll answered. "What flutes and bagel-tables?"
This time, the third demon did sigh, but quietly. "Come," he ordered the nervous troll, who was wondering what he had done wrong. "Let me grow you a nice salad, and while you eat I will explain to you about the need for a balanced diet." So saying, he led the troll back to the quiet side, where he spent a long time doing just that.
In time, Raizen the troll regained his strength, and as word spread, so did the third demon brother's fame, and he became a nutritionist acclaimed throughout the demon world, while his ne'er-do-well brothers were just glad he had someone else to nag about health now... until they fell sick from malnutrition anyway, whereupon he dragged them back across the river to recover their health in peace and quiet.
The End
(gruff? well, not all of them...)
Once upon a time, there were three billy demons of varying (but not correspondingly) age and size. They lived together on a quiet little hill in the demon world, where, thanks to the enthusiasm demons have for butchering each other, there was no problem of overpopulation and the air was much fresher than in the human world.
The peaceful, quiet little hill was very nicely isolated from the rest of the demon world by a wide, raging river (else demons would have no trouble jumping across). The only way across this river was by a rickety old bridge, which was closed for safety reasons. Thus, for a very long time, there was no traffic between the two sides.
The first demon, whose love for peace and quiet was as great as his temper was mild (he had a fuse as short as his height), naturally got tired of his peaceful, quiet life. Especially since he could see a gathering of rowdy demons across the river, just waiting to be killed, with his evil eye. He watched the demons bashing each other into pulp every day, until he could bear it no more, and ripped off the "Danger" sign on the rickety old bridge.
"There, it's not dangerous anymore," he declared, and proceeded to march across the rickety old bridge. Thankfully, he wasn't very heavy, and the bridge held. But as he reached the halfway point, what should leap out from under the bridge to bar his way but the bridge's resident troll? For the bridge was not closed because of rotting timbers (though they were present), but the nasty troll Raizen, who was understandably starving after all that time.
Raizen was quite a sorry sight, his lanky frame gaunt, eyes crazed with hunger and long white hair long unbrushed. He drooled, took a closer look at the first demon, then sighed and moved aside.
"All right, I know, you're too small and scrawny to make a good meal and I should wait for your brother demon to come. Go, go."
The first demon was outraged, of course, but he could also see the host of tempting demons across the river, and decided that he could wait to settle the score. Besides, he was none too fond of his brother demons either. So he crossed the river, and had a field day slaughtering annoying demons.
The second demon didn't have an evil eye, so he couldn't see what was going on the other side, but he could hear what sounded like great fun. He too, was bored, and decided to cross the bridge, against the advice of the eldest demon brother.
As expected, the troll Raizen leapt out to ambush him. "FOOD!!!!!" he roared in triumph as he landed nimbly in front of the nonplussed second demon brother.
The second demon was equally excited by his appearance. "EAT ME!!!" he yelled right back, to the troll's unmitigated shock. "I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT SOMEONE WHO IS WEAK FROM STARVATION!!!!"
"But how are you going to fight me after I've eaten you?" inquired the stunned Raizen. "And you - you're part human! I'm on a strict non-human diet, doctor's orders."
"Oh," said the second demon, feeling sheepish. Or goatish. Or whatever. He was just as confused. "Does that mean I can cross?" Raizen sighed, shrugged, and moved out of his way.
The second demon was delighted to see that there was a battle royal on the other side, and leapt gleefully into the fray. "Spirit-gun!!" Raizen watched the two demon brothers enjoying themselves, and felt very sorry for himself.
The third demon actually did like the peace and quiet, but he was worried about his two younger brothers. So, after some more time had elapsed, he too, decided to cross the bridge.
Raizen was already waiting, tired of having to conceal himself and leap out for nothing. When he saw the third demon, he did a double-take and his jaw dropped. "I thought you were three /brothers/?!"
The third demon's jaw set: he was getting very tired of being mistaken for a girl. Perhaps he should get a haircut someday. "We are three brothers," he told the luckless troll acidly. Then he took a closer look at the troll and frowned. "What have you been eating?"
"Next to nothing," admitted Raizen sadly. "I just don't have any luck with demon prey; it's just too hard to get food now that my doctor banned humans. Too many chemical additives and preservatives, she said."
The third demon nobly refrained from sighing with exasperation. "You mean you eat nothing but meat? What about fruits and vegetables?"
Blankly, the troll answered. "What flutes and bagel-tables?"
This time, the third demon did sigh, but quietly. "Come," he ordered the nervous troll, who was wondering what he had done wrong. "Let me grow you a nice salad, and while you eat I will explain to you about the need for a balanced diet." So saying, he led the troll back to the quiet side, where he spent a long time doing just that.
In time, Raizen the troll regained his strength, and as word spread, so did the third demon brother's fame, and he became a nutritionist acclaimed throughout the demon world, while his ne'er-do-well brothers were just glad he had someone else to nag about health now... until they fell sick from malnutrition anyway, whereupon he dragged them back across the river to recover their health in peace and quiet.
The End
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