Categories > Anime/Manga > Yu Yu Hakusho > Very Grimm Tales
The Three REALLY ODD Pigs
Once upon a time, there were three really odd pigs, totally unrelated and of very different sizes. The only thing they had in common was that they were all pigs - of different sorts, though.
The first pig was what most of us would know as a Male Chauvinist Pig. He grew up and left home in much the same way as would most such pigs, but he had big dreams. He wanted to become wealthy and respectable so he would be able to take care of the beautiful koorime he had fallen in love with at first sight.
So he slaved night and day, getting a proper education and finding a good job, then buying a comfortable house which he stocked with lovely flowers to make her happy. And she was, for she was just the sort of sweet, innocent little thing which all Male Chauvinist Pigs adore and want to look after. It was an idyllic life they led together.
Unfortunately, this happy state of affairs was not to last. A Big, Bad Fox came up to the door one day and sang out merrily, "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"
"Little?!" demanded the Male Chauvinist Pig indignantly, insulted. "Why, I'm nearly as tall as you are!"
The Big, Bad Fox sighed. "Well, let me in regardless. I'm here to loot your house bare." (Of course the fox wouldn't want to eat the pig up - he was vegetarian, and the pig didn't look that appetizing besides.)
"So what if I don't let you in?" asked the Male Chauvinist Pig insultingly. "Will you huff and puff and blow the house down?"
"Of course not," replied the Big, Bad Fox amiably, then he proceed to truss up the Male Chauvinist Pig with the flowers in his home. The Male Chauvinist Pig stared at the treacherous vegetation as it lifted his house and safe keys and handed them over to the smiling Fox*.
* Security Warning: Do not keep plants in your house if there's a Big, Bad Fox on a burglary spree in the neighbourhood.
So the Big, Bad Fox emptied out the Male Chauvinist Pig's house and went on his merry way. Meantime, the koorime had gone home to find the devastated pig bemoaning his loss whilst entangled in the potted plants. "It doesn't matter, Kazuma-kun. I'll just go and cut a few onions and you will be as rich as before," she told him gently. So they managed to continue their idyllic life together without much trouble.
Soon the Big, Bad Fox found his way to the home of a medium-sized pig who was - well, just a Pig. He lived in a Sty, at any rate. This Pig was not really rich as such, but he had received quite a sizeable inheritance from his recently deceased father. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!" sang the Big, Bad Fox.
"Not by the hair of my ch- wait a minute, I'm not going to say anything so stupid!" exclaimed the Pig just in time to prevent the evil writer from making him swear by the hair of his chinny-chin-chin. He glared out the window at the amused Fox. "I'm not going to let you in anyway, and I don't keep potted plants or flowers about."
"True," agreed the Fox mildly. "However..." However, the Pig wasn't much of a housekeeper, and he had neglected the moss, mould, algae and other stuff growing about. These tiny terrors served the Big, Bad Fox just as well as any of the Male Chauvinist Pig's potted plants did.
"Now, tell me where are the jewels your father left you?" asked the Fox. The trussed-up Pig pointed. The Fox stared in horrified disbelief. "You defaced them?!?!"
"I was bored," protested the Pig. "And look, I've got the names of all my friends, neighbours and everyone who sent condolences on them!" he added happily. Nevertheless, the Fox took the jewels to a jeweller to be refaceted, then stole them from the jeweller when the job was done and demanded recompense for his loss. The Pig was not bothered by the robbery, having never been that interested in great wealth and all that anyway, and went on with his life as usual.
The third, and truly little pig was of the variety typically known as a Runt. He had watched everything that had happened to the other pigs, being a cautious sort of fellow, and laid his own plans (which did not involved getting robbed).
Normally he preferred to just sleep in a tree, but he knew very well what the Big Bad Fox did with plants. So he ensconced himself in an abandoned kiln for firing pottery after crisping anything that might have had grown inside, and as a precaution, razed the countryside bare of any greenery for a mile around. He also toasted several environmental activists who had come to protest his despoiling the environment. Once he was satisfied with his preparations, he settled down to wait.
Sure enough, the Big, Bad Fox turned up in due time to sing, "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"
"Hn!" was all the reply he got. Annoyed, the Big, Bad Fox began to survey the challenge before him. No plants anywhere. His eyes fell on the chimney thoughtfully.
"If you try to climb down the chimney," warned the Runt, "I'll send the Black Dragon up just when you reach the middle."
The Fox laughed. "I like your style. What's your name? Mine's Kurama."
The Runt was quite touched by this courtesy from the famous robber, since most were quite content to call him Runt. He had an idea, which, amazingly, had nothing to do with toasting the Fox or anything else.
"I'm Hiei," he said. "Tell you what, I have been busy looking for my sister and tear gem for these past years, and simply haven't had much time to collect treasure, so even if you do get in, there won't be much worth stealing. What do you say to a partnership? I'm sure we will make a good team."
"What an interesting proposition... why not?" So the two joined forces to become the terror of the land, and quickly made a killing, in more senses than one.
The End
Once upon a time, there were three really odd pigs, totally unrelated and of very different sizes. The only thing they had in common was that they were all pigs - of different sorts, though.
The first pig was what most of us would know as a Male Chauvinist Pig. He grew up and left home in much the same way as would most such pigs, but he had big dreams. He wanted to become wealthy and respectable so he would be able to take care of the beautiful koorime he had fallen in love with at first sight.
So he slaved night and day, getting a proper education and finding a good job, then buying a comfortable house which he stocked with lovely flowers to make her happy. And she was, for she was just the sort of sweet, innocent little thing which all Male Chauvinist Pigs adore and want to look after. It was an idyllic life they led together.
Unfortunately, this happy state of affairs was not to last. A Big, Bad Fox came up to the door one day and sang out merrily, "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"
"Little?!" demanded the Male Chauvinist Pig indignantly, insulted. "Why, I'm nearly as tall as you are!"
The Big, Bad Fox sighed. "Well, let me in regardless. I'm here to loot your house bare." (Of course the fox wouldn't want to eat the pig up - he was vegetarian, and the pig didn't look that appetizing besides.)
"So what if I don't let you in?" asked the Male Chauvinist Pig insultingly. "Will you huff and puff and blow the house down?"
"Of course not," replied the Big, Bad Fox amiably, then he proceed to truss up the Male Chauvinist Pig with the flowers in his home. The Male Chauvinist Pig stared at the treacherous vegetation as it lifted his house and safe keys and handed them over to the smiling Fox*.
* Security Warning: Do not keep plants in your house if there's a Big, Bad Fox on a burglary spree in the neighbourhood.
So the Big, Bad Fox emptied out the Male Chauvinist Pig's house and went on his merry way. Meantime, the koorime had gone home to find the devastated pig bemoaning his loss whilst entangled in the potted plants. "It doesn't matter, Kazuma-kun. I'll just go and cut a few onions and you will be as rich as before," she told him gently. So they managed to continue their idyllic life together without much trouble.
Soon the Big, Bad Fox found his way to the home of a medium-sized pig who was - well, just a Pig. He lived in a Sty, at any rate. This Pig was not really rich as such, but he had received quite a sizeable inheritance from his recently deceased father. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!" sang the Big, Bad Fox.
"Not by the hair of my ch- wait a minute, I'm not going to say anything so stupid!" exclaimed the Pig just in time to prevent the evil writer from making him swear by the hair of his chinny-chin-chin. He glared out the window at the amused Fox. "I'm not going to let you in anyway, and I don't keep potted plants or flowers about."
"True," agreed the Fox mildly. "However..." However, the Pig wasn't much of a housekeeper, and he had neglected the moss, mould, algae and other stuff growing about. These tiny terrors served the Big, Bad Fox just as well as any of the Male Chauvinist Pig's potted plants did.
"Now, tell me where are the jewels your father left you?" asked the Fox. The trussed-up Pig pointed. The Fox stared in horrified disbelief. "You defaced them?!?!"
"I was bored," protested the Pig. "And look, I've got the names of all my friends, neighbours and everyone who sent condolences on them!" he added happily. Nevertheless, the Fox took the jewels to a jeweller to be refaceted, then stole them from the jeweller when the job was done and demanded recompense for his loss. The Pig was not bothered by the robbery, having never been that interested in great wealth and all that anyway, and went on with his life as usual.
The third, and truly little pig was of the variety typically known as a Runt. He had watched everything that had happened to the other pigs, being a cautious sort of fellow, and laid his own plans (which did not involved getting robbed).
Normally he preferred to just sleep in a tree, but he knew very well what the Big Bad Fox did with plants. So he ensconced himself in an abandoned kiln for firing pottery after crisping anything that might have had grown inside, and as a precaution, razed the countryside bare of any greenery for a mile around. He also toasted several environmental activists who had come to protest his despoiling the environment. Once he was satisfied with his preparations, he settled down to wait.
Sure enough, the Big, Bad Fox turned up in due time to sing, "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"
"Hn!" was all the reply he got. Annoyed, the Big, Bad Fox began to survey the challenge before him. No plants anywhere. His eyes fell on the chimney thoughtfully.
"If you try to climb down the chimney," warned the Runt, "I'll send the Black Dragon up just when you reach the middle."
The Fox laughed. "I like your style. What's your name? Mine's Kurama."
The Runt was quite touched by this courtesy from the famous robber, since most were quite content to call him Runt. He had an idea, which, amazingly, had nothing to do with toasting the Fox or anything else.
"I'm Hiei," he said. "Tell you what, I have been busy looking for my sister and tear gem for these past years, and simply haven't had much time to collect treasure, so even if you do get in, there won't be much worth stealing. What do you say to a partnership? I'm sure we will make a good team."
"What an interesting proposition... why not?" So the two joined forces to become the terror of the land, and quickly made a killing, in more senses than one.
The End
Sign up to rate and review this story