Categories > Anime/Manga > Yu Yu Hakusho > Very Grimm Tales

Goldilocks and the Three Bear(-y Unfortunate Demon)s

by queasy 0 reviews

The True Story of How the Toguro Team Came to Be.

Category: Yu Yu Hakusho - Rating: PG - Genres: Parody - Characters: Bui, Elder Toguro, Karasu, Younger Toguro - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2005-06-21 - Updated: 2005-06-21 - 901 words

0Unrated
Goldilocks and the Three Bear(-y Unfortunate Demon)s

Once upon a time, there were three demons, Bui, and the two Toguro brothers. They lived together in a little house in the human world so they could share the rent. The human world, as everyone knows, is rather crowded and polluted, full of silly, weak humans; altogether quite an unhealthy place to live in. Naturally, the three demons wanted very much to move to the demon world, where the air is fresh, and one can meet lots of interesting demons.

Unfortunately, the immigration laws during that time were very strict, and virtually no one could travel between the two worlds due to the Berlin Barrier raised a long time ago. So they were beary unhappily confined to the human world, and passed their days wishing for change.

One fine morning, as the three demons were out doing whatever it is demons do before breakfast, another demon named Karasu chanced by their cottage and, feeling hungry, decided to drop in for a bite to eat. The door was locked, however, so he decided to bomb it open. Seeing that the place was empty, he decided to make himself comfortable and popped off the mask restricting his oxygen supply.

Pfft! Power surged through him and made his ebony hair glow so it looked golden. No self-respecting demon calling himself "Crow" would appreciate being called "Goldilocks", so he normally put up with the discomfort of wearing the mask while in public, but since no one was in... Much relieved, he looked over the options available on the table.

Bui, the big, manly demon, had a hearty, macho breakfast of greasy bacon, scrambled eggs, a buttered roll and a mug of ale to wash it all down with. Karasu shuddered at the thought of what it would do to his figure and complexion, and quickly moved on to check out the next, more modest portion.

Being the hypochondriac he was, Toguro the Younger had a salad without dressing, some unsweetened soy milk, and more vitamin capsules and dietary supplements than Karasu could readily count. He let that one alone too, looking hopefully at Toguro the Elder's little plate.

There was a rather ratty(?) looking dead bird on it. Karasu turned green, and blasted it instinctively, destroying much of the table in the process. Having lost his appetite, he decided to find a bed to lie down and let his stomach settle, so he went upstairs.

He climbed gratefully into Bui's enormous bed, and sank down...and down... until he nearly suffocated. (After carrying that heavy armour all day, anyone might reasonably expect that Bui would like his comforts...) Karasu struggled free of the impossibly soft bed and into Toguro the Younger's bed.

Which was as hard as stone. (Hard beds are good for the spine, you know...) And of course Karasu would never fit into Toguro the Elder's puny (and dingy) bed. Defeated, Karasu sank to the floor.

By this time, the three luckless demons had returned from whatever it was they were doing. Bui looked at the door and boomed out in his deep voice, "Someone has blown in the door!"

Toguro the Younger stuck his head in and frowned. "Someone has blown up the table!"

"Mmph! Mmph! It's quite good actually, just a bit too crispy outside- mmph!" The two big demons turned to see Toguro the Elder stuffing bits of dead bird in his mouth.

"Let's go see if the intruder is still around," said Bui, a little hastily.

"Maybe he's upstairs," agreed Toguro the Younger quickly, and they hurried up the stairs.

"Wait-mmph! for me! Mmph!"

*

"Hey look! There's a Goldilocks sleeping on the floor!" Karasu woke at the sound of Toguro the Elder's voice and the hated moniker. He took one look at Toguro the Elder with a bird leg sticking out his mouth, shrieked and blew up the house.

Bui, in his armour, and the inflatable Toguro Otouto were relatively unscathed. Toguro the Elder was much less fortunate. The remaining two demons and Karasu watched the bits of Toguro the Elder knitting themselves together for a while in silence. Then Toguro the Younger picked up a broom and began sweeping the bits together.

"Urgh, that's disgusting," said Karasu. "Do you suppose there's any way to really kill him off?" Bui frowned as he pondered the question somberly.

"He's my brother," remonstrated Toguro the Younger without heat.

"So? He's still a disgusting little twerp," Karasu shot back. Bui nodded in agreement. Toguro the Younger watched his brother's reformed hand scraping bits of himself off the floor, then reaching for the surviving bird leg. He dropped the broom and scattered the pile of Toguro the Elder with his foot.

"I heard about some competition called the Dark Tournament," he said tentatively. "We could join as a team."

"Hmm, any chance he might get killed by someone embarrassing there?" asked Bui.

Karasu looked at a flyer he had received that morning from some demon. "Even if he doesn't, each member of the winning team gets a wish. We could wish to migrate to the demon world, and maybe he'll decide to go elsewhere. Anyway, the demon world is a big place, full of dangerous, short-tempered demons..."

And the rest, as they say, is history.

(Obviously the three unfortunate demons in question are really Karasu, Bui and Toguro the Younger, right?)

The End
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