FicWad

Mrs Fox

There was once a sly old fox with four tails, who was very curious to know whether his spouse was true to him: so he stretched himself out under a bench, and pretended to be as dead as a mouse.

Then Mrs Fox went up into her... uh, I mean HIS own room (Obviously, this is Hiei) and locked the door: but his maid, Botan, sat at the kitchen fire cooking; and soon after it became known that the old fox was dead, someone knocked at the door, saying,

"Miss Botan! Miss Botan! How fare you today?
Are you sleeping or watching the time away?"

Irked by the imputation, Botan went and opened the door, and there stood a handsome young fox; so, softening, she said to him,

"No, no, Master Fox, I don't sleep in the day,
I'm making some miso soup (it's gray),
Will your Honour be pleased to dinner to stay?"

"No, I thank you," said the fox, for he could smell what she had on the fire (for too long); "But how is poor Mrs Fox?" Then Botan answered,

"He sits all alone in his chamber upstairs,
And bewails his misfortune with floods of tears:
He weeps until his beautiful eyes are red;
For alas! Alas! Mr Fox is dead."

This was a blatant lie, for Hiei's eyes were naturally red, and he was hiding from the dinner Botan had prepared, not crying over Kurama, but it sounded much better than the truth. The fox understood, but wisely let the matter pass. "Go to him," he said, "and say that there is a young fox come, who wishes to marry him."

Then up went Botan, - trippety trap,
And knocked at the door, - tippety tap;
"Is good Mrs Fox within?" said she.
"What is it?" growled Hiei, startled awake.
"There waits a suitor below at the gate."

Then said Mrs Fox,

"How does he look? is he tall and straight?
Has he four good tails? There must be four,
Or he never shall be a suitor of mine."

"Ah!" said Botan, "he has but one."

"Tell him to get lost," snapped Hiei impatiently.

So Botan went down, and sent this suitor about his business. Soon after, someone else knocked at the door; it was another fox that had two tails, but he was not better welcomed than the first. After this came several others, some with more, some with less, till at last one came that had really four tails just like the old fox.

When the widow(er) heard this, he jumped up and declared,

"Prepare for a wedding! Invite everyone we know!
And as for that nasty old master of ours,
Throw him out the window, Botan, into the street!"

Botan gulped.

But when the wedding feast was all ready, up sprang the old gentleman on a sudden, and taking his Rose Whip, drove the whole company out of doors.

"What did you mean, throw me out the window?!"

Hiei only smiled very faintly. "How else would I get you up?"

The End