Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > You're the Only Place That Feels Like Home

Fearful Of the World

by moocow 8 reviews

:[ i cried

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Romance - Warnings: [!!!] [?] - Published: 2006-09-04 - Updated: 2006-09-04 - 1288 words

Chapter 8- Fearful Of the World

The house was eerily quiet the first two days I had come home, and on top of that, I still had not received any calls from anybody. Managing not to talk since that night, my throat was dried and my eyes were sore from crying with Robert, and Hemmingway who had both come with me, pouts on their faces from seeing their mommy upset. I was moping around the giant mansion I used to call home with my mom until she left and I did as well. Life was getting too depressing and dark for my liking, but I was beginning to think maybe Patrick had forgotten his promise...


I blinked slowly as the morning broke into my room, my phone lightly buzzing from under my pillow. I blinked hard and sat up, digging my hand under it and observing Heather's name in bold letters. It disappeared moments later and an alert for a voicemail was soon sent.

Shaking my head, I opened my phone to see 15 missed calls- three from Patrick, two from Aloe, seven from Heather, two from Freeda and one from Pete. I took a shaky breath and sighed before throwing myself back and hearing Hemmingway whimper before jumping on the bed, crawling on my chest before placing his head down in his paws, giving me puppy dog eyes.

"I'm not going to call daddy, Hem," I mumbled and felt my phone go off again, this time, displaying Patrick. I took a deep breath before answering.

"Hello?" I asked and heard a relieved sigh.

"Thank god...Lexi, where in god's name are you?" I smirked.

"Home," I said and Patrick stopped rambling.

"No you're not, we even broke in," I cut him off.

"No, no...I'm Arizona home," I spoke and felt Robert cuddle up to my stomach while Patrick sighed.

"Why are you home?" I shrugged to myself and closed my eyes.

"I felt so alone in that house..." I mumbled and Patrick sighed again.

"He came to visit you, and ended up at my house crying because he thought you were hurt when he couldn't find you...and then we spent all last night trying to find out where you were, Jesus Lex, you scared us..." I closed my eyes and swallowed my guilty tears.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and Patrick took a deep breath.

"Lex...I know this is a weird question, but...have you and Pete ever...well, um," I narrowed my eyes.

"No Patrick, we've never had sex, but I'm pregnant with his baby," Patrick smirked but then turned it into a sigh.

"What I mean is, was there any other time except from the first time together that you ever..." he paused and lowered his voice. "/Made love/?" I widened my eyes. Boy was this taking a weird direction.

"No offence Patrick, but what the fuck are you getting at?" I asked and Hemmingway perked his ears as I cursed. I pat his head while Patrick fumbled around with the phone.

"Because Pete had a falling out...saying everything was his fault and that you guys never made love enough and that he deserved for you to leave..." I shook my head.

"Patrick...please tell me you're lying," my voice faltered and I heard Patrick take a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry Lexi..." he took a deep breath and I gulped. "We can't find Pete either," I blinked a couple of times as the boards of my bedroom creaked and I sat up, Hemmingway jumping off and running into Pete, him looking down and lightly smiling.

"Patrick...I think I found him," Patrick started to ramble but I hung up and dragged myself out of bed, Robert following me as I stopped right in front of Pete and took a deep breath. I had to tell him.

"Pete...there's something I have to tell you..." I whispered and Pete shook his head.

"I came here for one thing, Lexi..." My breath caught in my throat and I watched as Pete raised a hand to my cheek, pushing hair back and caressing it, tears glazing his eyes.

"Pete," I said and he sighed, biting his lip.

"I don't think I can keep doing this," he closed his eyes, and my lips parted, my heart slowing as he said those words.

"What?" I croaked and Pete dropped his head.

"I can't keep running after you..." he whispered and I took a shaky breath, having a hard time finding my breath.

"," I mumbled and Pete shook is head.

"Damnit Lexi, I shouldn't have to try..." I wrung my hands together and closed my eyes, feeling tears slip out from the corners of my eyes.

"But..." I stopped and fell to my knees, covering my face with my hands.

"Lexi...I...I have to go..." he rushed it and I shook my head, mumbling incoherent things as I heard his footsteps trail down my stairs and minutes later the front door close.

Robert came up to where I was and meowed before rubbing my elbow, making me take my hands away that left prints from my eyeliner and such. Taking a shaky breath I picked him up and scratched his back before standing and walking back to the bed where Hemmingway jumped up and the three of us stayed like that until I fell into a much needed sleep.


Waking up was odd, to say the least. I awoke to see a worried William and Patrick on either side of my bed, observing the stains on my pillowcase and cheeks, along with a smudge on Hemmingway's head where I had rested mine for a while before I had slept.

"Lex...we made him tell us...and, oh my god," Patrick croaked and I could tell he had been crying.

"When did you guys get in?" I asked and William skewed his mouth to one side.

"An hour ago, we just barley got here..." he whispered and I sat up fully nodding.

"I was going to tell him...and then he goes out and does that..." Patrick shook his head.

"We almost told him...but we couldn't bring ourselves to break our promise with the innocent in all of this," I placed my arms around my stomach and hunched forward.

"I don't want to have this baby anymore guys," I chocked out and Patrick shook his head as William sighed.

"Lex, you have have to be strong, for yourself and everyone around you," I nodded and let them both take my into a 'Lexi sandwich' while I sighed deeply.

"Am I going home?" I asked and they both nodded into my shoulder.

"Yea," William breathed and I closed my eyes.

"Where's Pete?" I whispered and Patrick gulped, pulling away slightly.

"He left for New York almost as soon as he came back...I was so upset..." I closed my eyes tightly and looked down at my stomach.

"I hope that kid grows up strong...having his father there all the time..." Patrick sighed.

"You have us, for now..." I smiled and nodded and let Robert climb in my lap, meowing.

"Yeah, Robert...we're going back home...the only place that I can call home..." Patrick patted my back.

"The only place that you can call home," William smiled and rubbed my back.

"The only place that feels like home..." I blinked slowly and looked out in front of me, understanding and smirked, looking down at my lap letting a song come to mind. Patrick understood and William shook his head as we both sang softly.

"There's a light Chicago," I paused and looked back up.

"And I know I should be home,"
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