FicWad

Slash

I’m sooo sleepy and I feel like complete shit in more ways than one. My head is pounding and my mouth is dry and all I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep but Duff pulled me out of the warm, soft, albeit wet bed at Nikki’s and is driving us home. I can’t believe I peed the bed. Fuck, I’ve never been so embarrassed in my whole life! I can’t believe I pissed in the bed and Duff had to wake up to that! I also just can’t look at him because he knows I shot up with Izzy and Nikki and Steven last night. I was so wasted when I did it that I hardly even remember it; I know it was fucking great but I passed out so soon after that that I’m not sure it was worth it. It definetly wasn’t worth having Duff be so upset at me. He’s not angry either; he’s hurt and he’s worried and that’s even worse than angry.

I’d be angry at me if I was him; shit I’d waited until he was passed out and then did the one thing that he never wanted me to do: heroin. That shit was already tearing our band apart with Izzy and Axl breaking up over it. Then if that wasn’t bad enough I’d pissed all over the bed in my sleep which happens sometimes when I’m really drunk.

I’ll never forget the look on his face though when he saw the bruise on my arm where I’d let Nikki shoot me up; it was sad and worried and just, almost defeated. It was a look that made my heart ache. He also yelled at me; he’s never yelled at me. Shit, up until then he’d never even really been angry at me. Aggravated sure, but angry no; so of course I got angry too. He yelled at me and I yelled back and then I asked him why he was yelling at me when he never yelled at Izzy and he said the difference was that he wasn’t in love with Izzy.

Talk about guilt; those brown eyes looking at me full of worry and hurt made my chest throb. I just looked up at him through my hair and whispered “I’m sorry Duff, I’m so sorry. I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking straight; honestly I passed out right after that and just, I’m sorry baby; I never would have done it if I had known it was going to bother you so much.

He sighs and looks down and then pulls me over to him and wraps his arms around me. “Come on, you need to change and get the piss washed off of yourself before we go.” I’m still more or less drunk so he has to climb into the shower with me and holds me up and helps to scrub me down. We have to move fast though because apparently Izzy’s waiting for us in the car and doesn’t feel good. It's Izzy's car and he has the keys and we don't want to be left all the way out here wehre Nikki lives which is about 15 minutes from home.

Twenty minutes after stepping into the shower we’re walking out of Nikki’s front door and I’m in full on awe of how many people are passed out all over the house and yard. When we get to the car Izzy’s curled up in the back seat and Steven’s sprawled out in the front passenger seat. I open the door behind the driver’s side and crawl in and Duff gets in behind the wheel and we drive home in silence; each of us lost in our own thoughts.

When we get home Izzy heads for the shower and all I want to do is go back to bed but before that can happen I need some asprin for my head and while I’m in the kitchen Steven feels the need to tell me that Izzy fucked Tommy last night in front of Axl; how the hell did I miss that? That had to have been like the fucking show of the century! Duff and Izzy come into the kitchen in the middle of this conversation and Izzy’s totally limping. Steven and I start cracking up. “Shut up fuckers,” Izzy growls and shuffles towards his couch.

“Izz, you need to eat something, how about some cereal? It will help your stomach," Duff coaxes.

“Fine, bring it to me please?” Izzy pleads looking at Duff with puppy dog eyes.

“Why? Because you got loaded last night and decided that it would be a good idea to let the guy with the biggest fucking dick in the music business fuck you? I mean that thing is fucking legendary; how are you even fucking walking?” Duff wonders aloud.

“I’m gritting my teeth and I’m fucking high, that’s how. I want Cheerios ok?” Izzy answers.

“Was it worth it?” Steven asks.

“The orgasm or the look on Axl’s face when he saw us?” Izzy replies.

“Both I guess? Steven says.

“It hurt like a fucking bitch and there was a lot of um, unnecessary roughness, but I’ve never cum so hard in my fucking life! Seriously, it was fucking epic! But, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten fucked and not done the fucking so, maybe I’m overestimating the intensity of the whole thing,” Izzy says and smirks. “On the other hand I got off that fucking hard while I was smacked out so it must have been god damn amazing.

As for the look on Axl’s face, that was fucking priceless. That asshole didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I mean he dumped me a couple of days ago and spends the whole night talking to some fucking chick, some chick he probably fucked but I’m pretty sure he thought I wasn’t going to get laid; well fuck him. I got laid by the guy with the biggest dick in town! I kinda want to know what bothered Axl more; the fact that I got laid or the fact that Tommy’s dick is way bigger than his?”

“Probably a toss up there,” Duff laughs. “The only thing that would have bugged him more is if you were getting fucked by Slash and he knew how big Slash’s dick actually is!” Everyone around me cracks up b because this is totally true but my face just turns bright red. “But I’m not sharing, he’s all mine!”

“Well you can keep him because nothing’s going up my ass for a while after last night!” Izzy chuckles.

“Fucking wus,” Duff teases. “I take something in that size range several times a week!”

“Well I guess you’re a bigger asshole than me then Duff!” Izzy says dryly and then cracks a smile. Everybody laughs again and Duff brings Izzy his bowl of cereal. Steven remembers that he left his watch out in the car so he goes outside to get it and comes back with his watch on carrying what looks like a large, black, trunk. “What the fuck is that Popcorn?” Izzy asks as Steven proudly sits his prize down on the living room floor.

“Somebody threw it in the trash! I saw it sitting next to the dumpster when I went out to the car so I checked it out! It’s clean and it doesn’t smell weird or anything; I thought you could use it for your clothes and shit now that you’re staying here; then you don’t have to keep your clothes in the suitcase and in grocery bags!” Steven says obviously excited to be able to give something to Izzy; even if it is only a trunk from the trashcan. Steven really admires Izzy, so do I; but I know Duff’s not going to let it go with me about the dope and how my admiration for Izzy had better not leading me towards it.

Izzy smiles at Steven and Steven practically does a little dance because he’s made Izzy happy. “Thanks man, I appreciate it,” Izzy tells Steven sincerely. “I’d get up and come over there and help you move it but there’s this pain in my ass…literally!” Everyone laughs and I realize that I like it that Izzy lives here; I'm glad he moved in here although not for the reason he did.

Everyone finishes their cereal and Steven curls up on the couch that sits against the wall with the front door and covers up with Duff’s old Seahawks blanket and the fuzzy brown pillows that live on the couch. Izzy gets up and lips around his own couch; carefully arranging his new sheets and his blanket and pillow. I walk over and shut the blinds that cover the front window and then head down the hall to be lectured by Duff.

Sure enough as soon as I’m in bed beside him he rolls over and sits up on one elbow; looking down at me with a funny look on his on face and says “We need to talk baby boy.

“I know Duff, I’m sorry,” I begin but he puts his finger to my lips to shush me.

“Don’t apologize when you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen. You know what happened to me; I lost one of my best friends and my girlfriend to smack; I touched their dead bodies Slash. Imagine what it would be like to walk into our living room and find Izzy dead; blue lips, cold skin, no soul. It’s fucking terrifying! They’re right there in front of you, but they’re not; and you can’t do anything about it! They’re not in there anymore, there’s a body but there’s no person, no soul in there! It’s fucking horrible; it’s the scariest fucking thing I’ve ever seen…”

His voice trails off and I can feel him shaking. I sit up and move my pillow up behind me a little so I can lean against the wall. “Duffy, come here baby,” I whisper and pull him close to me. He’s crying silently and I understand now why he was yelling at me earlier; I just never knew how deep the pain went for him surrounding heroin. “I’m sorry all of that happened to you baby. I guess I didn’t think about it that way. I mean I knew you wouldn’t like it but I wasn’t really thinking about what it must have been like to see your friends after they died from an overdose. I’m sorry Duff.”

“See why such a tiny bruise is such a big deal? Just a little too much can kill you. How did you know you weren’t getting too much? How did you know you weren’t going to drop dead from your heart stopping?” he sniffles.

I sigh. “I didn’t. I was drunk and I trusted Nikki and Izzy to do it right and not kill me.”

“The same Nikki and Izzy who were so wasted themselves that they jumped off of a second story balcony naked into a pool and then went driving through the yard in a golf cart still naked and then crashed it into the pool they had just been swimming in that was still full of people? Good god I to save you from that shit earlier in the night, did you really think they had enough sense to figure out a drug dose? You just got lucky. Izzy would never let you do something he didn’t think was safe but that’s the thing; he has to be able to think and when he’s drunk he doesn’t think, he just does crazy shit that gets him into trouble.

When he’s smacked out on top of being drunk forget it. I mean look at him today- he can’t fucking walk straight because he decided he wanted a piece of Tommy and his big dick after he hadn’t had anyone’s dick in his ass for months and Tommy likes it rough so he fucked the hell out of Izzy and made him bleed! On top of that Axl saw the whole thing; not just saw them fucking but he saw Izzy getting off really hard and Izz has been so smacked out that Axl’s had to practically fuck the skin off of his own dick to get Izzy to cum at all and forget cumming like Izzy said he did for Tommy. Izzy and I were talking about it back in the bedroom before breakfast because Izzy couldn’t get his damn underwear or sweatpants on because he can’t bend over! Axl’s going to be pissed in so many different ways!” Duff exclaims.

“We’re so fucked aren’t we?” I groan.

“Big time,” Duff agrees. “Will you do something for me Slash?”

“Anything Blondie; you know I will,” I tell him quietly.

“Tonight you and I are going to follow Izzy when he goes to work. He works an alley near the rehearsal space on Gardiner. There’s a building right where he sells with a couple of busted windows; you can hear everything he says if you sit in there. I’ve tailed him before when some guy was after him for shorting him. Anyway, we’ll leave before he does and hide in there. I want you to see what smack does to people; how desperate they are to get it,” Duff says.

“Duff, I get your point, won’t Izzy be mad if he finds out?” I protest.

“Probably, but he won’t find out and if he does he can take it up with me. He’s the one who thought it would be a good idea to let the love of my life shoot smack into his arm. He’s lucky you’re ok; if anything had happened to you he’d be dead.” Duff smirks but I know he’s serious. He leans over and kisses me. “I love you baby. I love waking up with you every morning and feeling how warm you are in bed beside me. It’s the first thing I think about every morning; how I love waking up to a face full of curls and your warm body next to me. I don’t want to wake up to find you cold and dead. Guess that’s a fear Axl and I share.”

“I love waking up to you too. I like how you spoon me in your sleep, it’s cute.”

“Well, I don’t like letting go of you; even when I’m sleeping,” Duff says and grins. “We should get some sleep so we’re up and out of here before Izzy.”

“Yep. I love you Duff. I really am sorry I upset you.”

“I know you are. I love you too Curly Sue,” he whispers and kisses my cheek. I roll over and he rolls his body next to me and wraps himself around me from behind. I really do love him. I can’t believe what we’re doing tonight but I’d do anything Duff asked me too because that’s what you do for someone you love.