Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Through The Eyes Of...
Izzy
Before I had even been home for five fucking minutes Axl and I are rolling around on the kitchen floor fighting. For a minute he has his hands wrapped around my neck but I kneed him and got him off of me and now I have him pinned to the ground in the back yard. He can’t get out from under me and he is one pissed off motherfucker! His face is as red as his hair and he’s calling me every name in the book and telling me to let him go but I won’t until he calms down at least a little bit. This shit is just because I blew up the tree with Nikki; if he knew I’d just fucked his girlfriend he really would kill me!
Axl finally screams and flails out all of his anger on the ground and slowly goes limp underneath me. I can see tears shining in the corners of his eyes and I want so badly to pick him up and wrap my arms around him and hold him until he completely settled down and fell asleep because that’s exactly what he would do; he’d have an outburst like this and then he’d let me soothe him; softly stroking his hair and shushing his sobs and then he’d pass out cold; dead to the world asleep for a few hours. It’s like getting so worked up took all of the energy out of him and left him drained and empty; his emotional resources tapped out and he had nothing left. BUT…there are at least 70 people staring at us so I can’t do that right at this second. “Please let me up; you know I hate being held down!” he says so that only I can hear him. His bottom lip’s quivering and I know I need to let him go now so that he can at least make it upstairs before he totally loses it. “Come upstairs with me; I…I need you, please?” he begs. I nod at him and let him up. He plows angrily through the house and I can hear his feet pounding up the stairs.
I slowly walk back into the house and Erin tries to stop me in the kitchen but I brush her off. “Not right now!” I snap at her and I feel bad but “I need to go take care of him right now,” I whisper into her ear as I walk past. She gives me a frustrated glare and stomps her foot as I go up the stairs but I don’t give a shit. Did she think we were going to walk back into this party and act all sweet to each other? I don’t give a fuck about her; it’s Axl I want. Fuck this means I can’t shoot up for a bit either; I’m not doing that shit in front my Fireball after he was so happy to have me sober this afternoon. No way.
I open our bedroom door and Axl is pacing the room and sobbing; his hands in his hair. I quickly shut the door and walk the three steps over to him and gently place my hands on his arms; if I grab him too hard or try and hold him right now he’ll freak the fuck out. “Hey, you alright if I touch you?” I ask him.
“No, not yet,” he replies and I let go of him and sit down on the double bed. He paces some more and keeps running his hands through his hair nervously making it stand up at crazy angles. He kicks at things on the floor; sending random shoes and books and magazines flying. I have to get up and open the window; his rage making the hair too heavy and thick to breathe and the space in the room too small to calm him down without the connection to the outside world. Finally; after more kicking and hurling things at the walls he calms down a little and flops on the bed. I reach over and lightly stroke down his exposed chest and stomach but he swats me away. “Izzy why do you do such stupid fucking things?” he growls. “What the fuck gets into you when you’re around Nikki? The two of you have like this crazy fucking desire for destruction when you’re together.”
“We’re both just…empty Axl. He gets me; I don’t even have to say anything he just does. It’s not like a romantic thing it’s like a brothers thing. I’m not sure why.” I tell him moving my hands away. He looks a little relieved when I say that.
“Well so far you and your "brother" have caused major trouble every time you’re around each other. Tonight you were shooting a gun in the city limits and you fucking blew up a tree! It’s not our house Izzy! Somebody’s going to have to pay for that fucking shit! You get the cops called and you’re a fucking dealer! That idiot Nikki swallowed two bags of coke that he had to puke back up; I’m surprised he’s still alive right now! The last time you two were together you got higher than a kite, you got Slash and Steven high, and you drove a fucking golf cart into the pool and had to rescue Nikki from the bottom of a pool and give him CPR to bring him back to life! It’s never like a little bit of shit with the two of you; it’s always a major fucking thing!”
All I can do is give him a little shrug because I don’t know why but he’s right; Nikki and I have this insane need to cause trouble the minute we see each other.
Before either one of us can say anything else we hear the sounds of a scuffle outside in the hallway. We can hear voices through the door but they’re too quiet to understand. We glance at each other and I raise my shoulder in an indifferent shrug; whoever it is they’re not bothering us. But then we hear the voice of one very drunk curly haired kid saying “Dude! Get the fuck off of me!” and there’s more scuffling. I grab my gun from my waistband and jump up off the bed; all of my reflexes heightened by the coke.
“Izzy put that thing away!” Axl hisses and follows me to the door. I throw the door open and Slash nearly falls into our room and I push him behind me. He’s so drunk that Axl has to catch him to keep him upright and out of the corner of my eye I see the kid grip Axl’s shirt the way he tends to do when he’s upset about something; he gets clingy when he’s scared whereas Axl tends to push people away. Axl’s still not in the mood to be touched and he flinches but sits the kid down on the bed and Slash lets go; he can probably read Axl’s mood just fine. He curls up in a ball on my bed-the other thing he does when he's freaked out. Something very not good was going on in that hallway. I turn and look at the guy in the hallway. “Who the fuck are you and what’s going on here?” I ask raising the gun a little.
Before I had even been home for five fucking minutes Axl and I are rolling around on the kitchen floor fighting. For a minute he has his hands wrapped around my neck but I kneed him and got him off of me and now I have him pinned to the ground in the back yard. He can’t get out from under me and he is one pissed off motherfucker! His face is as red as his hair and he’s calling me every name in the book and telling me to let him go but I won’t until he calms down at least a little bit. This shit is just because I blew up the tree with Nikki; if he knew I’d just fucked his girlfriend he really would kill me!
Axl finally screams and flails out all of his anger on the ground and slowly goes limp underneath me. I can see tears shining in the corners of his eyes and I want so badly to pick him up and wrap my arms around him and hold him until he completely settled down and fell asleep because that’s exactly what he would do; he’d have an outburst like this and then he’d let me soothe him; softly stroking his hair and shushing his sobs and then he’d pass out cold; dead to the world asleep for a few hours. It’s like getting so worked up took all of the energy out of him and left him drained and empty; his emotional resources tapped out and he had nothing left. BUT…there are at least 70 people staring at us so I can’t do that right at this second. “Please let me up; you know I hate being held down!” he says so that only I can hear him. His bottom lip’s quivering and I know I need to let him go now so that he can at least make it upstairs before he totally loses it. “Come upstairs with me; I…I need you, please?” he begs. I nod at him and let him up. He plows angrily through the house and I can hear his feet pounding up the stairs.
I slowly walk back into the house and Erin tries to stop me in the kitchen but I brush her off. “Not right now!” I snap at her and I feel bad but “I need to go take care of him right now,” I whisper into her ear as I walk past. She gives me a frustrated glare and stomps her foot as I go up the stairs but I don’t give a shit. Did she think we were going to walk back into this party and act all sweet to each other? I don’t give a fuck about her; it’s Axl I want. Fuck this means I can’t shoot up for a bit either; I’m not doing that shit in front my Fireball after he was so happy to have me sober this afternoon. No way.
I open our bedroom door and Axl is pacing the room and sobbing; his hands in his hair. I quickly shut the door and walk the three steps over to him and gently place my hands on his arms; if I grab him too hard or try and hold him right now he’ll freak the fuck out. “Hey, you alright if I touch you?” I ask him.
“No, not yet,” he replies and I let go of him and sit down on the double bed. He paces some more and keeps running his hands through his hair nervously making it stand up at crazy angles. He kicks at things on the floor; sending random shoes and books and magazines flying. I have to get up and open the window; his rage making the hair too heavy and thick to breathe and the space in the room too small to calm him down without the connection to the outside world. Finally; after more kicking and hurling things at the walls he calms down a little and flops on the bed. I reach over and lightly stroke down his exposed chest and stomach but he swats me away. “Izzy why do you do such stupid fucking things?” he growls. “What the fuck gets into you when you’re around Nikki? The two of you have like this crazy fucking desire for destruction when you’re together.”
“We’re both just…empty Axl. He gets me; I don’t even have to say anything he just does. It’s not like a romantic thing it’s like a brothers thing. I’m not sure why.” I tell him moving my hands away. He looks a little relieved when I say that.
“Well so far you and your "brother" have caused major trouble every time you’re around each other. Tonight you were shooting a gun in the city limits and you fucking blew up a tree! It’s not our house Izzy! Somebody’s going to have to pay for that fucking shit! You get the cops called and you’re a fucking dealer! That idiot Nikki swallowed two bags of coke that he had to puke back up; I’m surprised he’s still alive right now! The last time you two were together you got higher than a kite, you got Slash and Steven high, and you drove a fucking golf cart into the pool and had to rescue Nikki from the bottom of a pool and give him CPR to bring him back to life! It’s never like a little bit of shit with the two of you; it’s always a major fucking thing!”
All I can do is give him a little shrug because I don’t know why but he’s right; Nikki and I have this insane need to cause trouble the minute we see each other.
Before either one of us can say anything else we hear the sounds of a scuffle outside in the hallway. We can hear voices through the door but they’re too quiet to understand. We glance at each other and I raise my shoulder in an indifferent shrug; whoever it is they’re not bothering us. But then we hear the voice of one very drunk curly haired kid saying “Dude! Get the fuck off of me!” and there’s more scuffling. I grab my gun from my waistband and jump up off the bed; all of my reflexes heightened by the coke.
“Izzy put that thing away!” Axl hisses and follows me to the door. I throw the door open and Slash nearly falls into our room and I push him behind me. He’s so drunk that Axl has to catch him to keep him upright and out of the corner of my eye I see the kid grip Axl’s shirt the way he tends to do when he’s upset about something; he gets clingy when he’s scared whereas Axl tends to push people away. Axl’s still not in the mood to be touched and he flinches but sits the kid down on the bed and Slash lets go; he can probably read Axl’s mood just fine. He curls up in a ball on my bed-the other thing he does when he's freaked out. Something very not good was going on in that hallway. I turn and look at the guy in the hallway. “Who the fuck are you and what’s going on here?” I ask raising the gun a little.
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